Shits and Giggles
So my Scottish grandad came round Christmas day, he's blind so as you do when your 86, your wife's died and you've gone blind. You drink yourself blind drunk every day (see what I did there).

So he turns up, already been in the pub and had a few sherberts, he starts telling me and my brothers stories about the war, which he only ever talks about when pissed.

He told us about how one time during training for WW2 he got a promotion on the Monday and lost it on Tuesday after being found drunk on parade after celebrating his promotion. "I can only tell you these things when I've had a drink you see" Quality stuff. Then he shat himself.
(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Mon 30 Dec 2013, 13:56, 5 replies)

I'm disappointed
but only because he didn't piss in his own mouth
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Mon 30 Dec 2013, 15:25, closed)

You're just jealous because you'll never know the pleasure of being old and having no sphincter control.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 30 Dec 2013, 19:10, closed)

Dude, all he's gotta do is leave his bag undone and he'll dribble poo on his knob all day.
It'll be like being Ian McKellen.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 30 Dec 2013, 20:08, closed)

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 31 Dec 2013, 12:12, closed)

Why did you begin your anecdote with the word 'So'......
...when the QOTW did not ask 'Why'.....?
(Colonel Blink is now officially a pretentious prick, Wed 1 Jan 2014, 19:03, closed)