Ms Hanky

Ms Hanky has turned the bathroom in our flat into a fucking Santa's grotto. The place is full of crap - bright yellow rubber ducks, some dayglo prawns, some plastic goldfish. It looks like a set for a fucking Disney movie or a really bad kitch art installation.

Not to mention the ENDLESS bottles, tubs, tubes, and boxes of lady stuff. There's absolutely no fucking room to move. Having a shave in the morning requires alot of manouvering, twisting and bending round all the crap she's put in there.

So when she turns round to me and has a go for leaving the toilet seat up because it adds a fraction of a second to her daily shit and shower routine, I do tend to grimace inwardly and bite my lip.

Things have got better recently since I discovered I can ALWAYS leave the toilet seat down now.

Though Ms Hanky wasn't too pleased when she discovered I've started pissing in the sink instead.
( SpankyHanky, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 10:55, 16 replies)

Us girls
like to have nice things in the bathroom.
(Save Us All !!!, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 11:14, closed)

I like to have nice girls in my bathroom.
Good old hidden cameras. Ker-ching!
( squirrels emit silent screams has updog, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 11:17, closed)

there's a big difference between nice things
and loads of fucking crap and tat

I'm surprised that women don't try and sneak some fucking cushions in there or a throw.

here's a hint. if you need to put cushions or a throw on your furniture then you've bought the wrong fucking furniture.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 11:23, closed)

My missus has said the most terrible word recently
Ikea.

Fuckinghell!!! Noooooo!!!

If she wants to get cushions I may have to kill her. Cushions have no fucking purpose at all, except for tripping me up when I get off the sofa after I've chucked them on the floor. Deathtraps, those damn things.
( SpankyHanky, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 11:36, closed)

I feel your pain
I'm going there on the way back from London on Tuesday. I'm not sure what my Mrs thinks we need...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 11:51, closed)

By law
everyone who goes in there with their girlfriend/wife/whatever HAS to buy a bag of 85,000,000 tea lights.

These then have to be put in a cupboard for five years, and then thrown away, just in time for the next visit to Ikea.

One of life's mysteries
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 12:33, closed)

Fucking cushions
What's the point of them on a bed?
Get out of bed, put the cushions on the bed.
Go to work.
Get into bed, put cushions on the floor.

I never see them, the only people that would, would be the guy robbing my house when I'm at work.
( Weejock, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 11:51, closed)

Im a girl and I hate
shit cluttering the place. but, really, pissing in the sink is disgusting! still clicked tho
(Grrrrr Tigers, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 11:18, closed)

I think you are disgusting!
Fucking hell are you some sort of twatting animal? Pissing in the sink? Fuck that's low. People wash their hands and face in the sink you know. I bet you don't even rinse it out with bleach afterwards.

At least when I do a big poo in my sink I have the decency to mash it down the plughole with my fingers and then give it a quick rinse.

Some people.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 11:23, closed)

^^^^ Ha!!!
works best with a runny turd. Anything with oatmeal in is a complete no-no...
( SpankyHanky, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 11:26, closed)

i always tell my guests
"Make yourself at home, piss in the sink."
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 11:55, closed)

Piss in the sink while you brush your teeth
It saves approximately 9.28% off your tight morning schedule. If you figure out how to have a shit and cook your breakfast at the same time let me know. I tried installing a steamer to cook my breakfast while I shower, but the soggy toast wasn't doing it for me.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 11:42, closed)

Fuck me,
I find it hard enough to get going in the morning without multi-tasking. I'd probably end up shitting in the microwave and drinking out of the toilet...
( SpankyHanky, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 11:45, closed)

I really didn't need that mental image
At the exact same time that the microwave dinged, ready for me to extract my wattie's microwave soup. Big N' Hearty Beef now looks like Brown N' Beefy diarrhoea.
(Helixdaunting, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 23:14, closed)

I love cushions and pillows
I have loads of em on my bed and on my couch downstairs.

I'm a sloucher.
I gotta slouch.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 12:16, closed)

Yeah, but its ok if you bat for the pink team Baz.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 9:49, closed)