But first ... LET'S HAVE A FIGHT!
(7 points)
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 8:29, 6 replies)

Marky Mark B-Side.
Can't believe only just thought of this, but this is from memory.

"All right all right what and out of sight, here's another MC who's skin is white, a white boy a kid with a white face just like the beasty boys in third base, hmmmhhm this looks like a topic for discussion to fill racial tension for fussing and cussing.

Some do hip hop and forget where it started, and they claim there white complexion isn't the reason why there record charted, please man it's so easy to see when a white dude raps the public sees it as a novelty, even me although I take it seriously, some just like me because of my R.A.C.E

I do hip hop records just because I love Hip Hop, so what you sayin'. so what you sayin' ooooh.
(Mitchell Gant, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 8:26, 2 replies)

My mate bought himself a new digital piano
I went round to admire it a couple of weeks back. I sat down and promptly played Scott Joplin's Maple Leaf Rag for the first time in about 12 years.

Some things just get burned into your cortex.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 8:23, Reply)

Speaking of Juan Quar's ability to remember the script from Monty Python
A mate of mine can still recite Eric Idle's travel agent's "Watney's Red Barrel" monologue from an episode of Monty Python.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 8:21, 2 replies)

Rob T Firefly reminds me that I used to interfere with cassettes too, especially ones that people had given up on because they'd stopped working.
Won myself a few new albums that way!

This skill is of course transferable to video cassettes. When I met Mr Quar he was about to chuck out his hopelessly-sticking video of Monty Python And The Holy Grail. I rescued it, transplanted the tape into a new cassette and stuck it on for my kids.

I was then able to drive them mad by reciting the entire screenplay along with the cast, having memorised it as a teenager from the record. Could still do that today.

We're the Knights of the Round Table
Our shows are form-i-dable!
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 8:17, 2 replies)

Not very old school...
But I still know how to send text messages on a 5 year old Nokia with actual keypad. This is fortunate as I have been told that my rare efforts to send text messages on touch screen smartphones make me look like a gibbon trying to hotwire a scalextric car.
(impossibly witty twat No, YOUR Mum etc etc, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 8:13, 7 replies)

I still know how to:
perform all Scorpion, Sub-Zero and Kung Lao fatalities in Mortal Kombat 2 on the SNES and I can still kick ass as Shang Tsung whilst performing the Kintaro fatality in the 2nd round!

to this day, I still remember that Kendal Mint Cake is an absolute must for any long distance hiking to keep up the sugar levels, there's less sugar in a raw sugar cane than there is in a Kendal Mint Cake! (I mean the plant, not one of those plastic tubes from Blackpool)

I also still know what a stamen does (mostly because I spent my biology classes arguing with the teacher that I would never need this information..... 15yrs on and I can still remember that little bastard!!)
(Anne Frank started to build a loft conversion on, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 8:08, 1 reply)

You will all laugh at me for this, but just wait untill after the apocalypse..
How to thread and operate a handcranked 1899 model Singer 27 sewing machine (portable version).
(Robotnik, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 8:02, 3 replies)

Singalong
My Dad used to travel to Japan on business reasonably often - everyone's probably aware that the Japanese are very formal in work, but do like to let their hair down after work with a lot of drinking and singing.

After one particularly good day of business my father was invited out to the bar with all his Japanese colleagues for a traditional 'get smashed and sing' session. This was in the days before karaoke machines so everyone had to sing their party piece.

After numerous beers and whiskies it was my dad's turn. He couldn't sing at all, and usually managed to avoid having to take part, but this time there was no escape. He was helped up onto the table top, beer in hand, and everyone cheered him on.

But his mind was a blank: he couldn't remember a single song, not even a hymn or nursery rhyme. The only thing that came into his head was a song he used to sing 20 years earlier, with his fellow commuters on the train to and from Birmingham, which they had made up based on the notice on the old train carriage:

"To stop the train
In cases of emergency
Pull down the cha-a-in
Pull down the cha-a-in
Penalty for improper use
Twenty five pounds"

He drained his beer, sang the song twice through, saluted, then fell off the table into a crowd of drunken Japanese businessmen.
(Smale is stuffed, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 7:29, 6 replies)

Very old stuff
Donkey Stone

Google it
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 0:53, 5 replies)

I can sweat lead.

( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 0:37, 2 replies)

I can still play GoldenEye on the N64
Better than anyone else on b3ta.
(anonymouse sitting in front of a screen since 1989, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 0:19, 6 replies)

If you drive an old car, Hollander parts swap manuals are the most important tool in your garage.
The thermostats from any Datsun L-series engine can swap across with any 1956 and later American V8 thermostats until you get to the early 90s: mix and match for your preferred temperature range and cost savings. This cross-compatibility extends to many other engines designed prior to the mid-80s: enjoy giving the monkeys at the auto parts store a hard time this way.

Riding a mountain bike down the southern ridge of Haleakala to the Poli Poli trail will kick up enough dust to destroy the seeing at the observatories for a week. The astronomers who work there really don't like that.

You need to use a hex key and a fine blade screwdriver simultaneously to adjust the secondary air door on a Quadrajet carburetor. If you loosen the set screw before you fix the pivot shaft in place, it will spin and dump all spring tension. This will turn a few minutes of adjustment into an all day event as you attempt to find the proper starting tension and increment from there.

The Sachs-Huret Duopar derailleur does not use a tension spring to align the parallelogram mechanism and relies on a set screw in the rear of the hanger bolt to fix it in place. If you do not repeatedly inform under-40 bicycle mechanics of this fact, they will attempt to remove a locked derailleur and destroy the hanger bolt or the frame hanger and sometimes both.

You can substitute a 12AX7 valve in place of a 6N2 if the latter burns out and no longer works in the rectifier circuit. If EL84s run too hot, swap them out for 6BQ5s instead.

Oh Be A Fine Girl, Kiss Me Right Now Sweetie is the stellar spectral order mnemonic. I learned that from some astronomers who called my father after they saw me riding down the southern ridge of Haleakala.

Dealer McDope's phone number is me too I ate one sour too.

Single action revolvers are designed for left-handed shooters; you discover this the first time you reload one at the range.

The .45 Colt was not chambered in a lever action rifle until 1965. If you show up to a cowboy action shoot with a .45 Colt revolver and levergun for the combination event, organizers will forgive you and let you compete, but they will encourage you to obtain a period correct .44-40 or .32-20 caliber set.
( Felis Concolor, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 0:05, 4 replies)

I used to take apart two audiocassettes
and, with a hobby knife and extra-thin adhesive tape, splice extra audiotape from one into the other to increase the runtime. Sometimes I'd selectively remove some of the plastic pegs and things from inside to fit the larger tape reels in.

This trick was very good for dubbing overly-long records, multiple albums, or long radio events onto a single cassette. I think my record was getting two full hours of tape into one 60-minute cassette.
( Rob T Firefly talked, like, William Shatner, on, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 0:03, 3 replies)

Fuck me, this week's question smells of old t-shirts, Lynx and stale spunk.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 0:02, 11 replies)

IKM JKI POC
wonder player cheat for wimbledon on the master system. ugh
(Bommer remembered to log in, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 23:16, 1 reply)

I can still picture
in my head, the exact route to take to climb most of the way up the big sycamore tree at the back of the Four-in-Hand pub carpark. I happened to be in that area a while back and could see the the exact route again, though the high bits did look a lot closer.

I had my second-born with me who was 9 at the time, and I guided him up the tree. I felt proud of handing down such invaluable knowledge on such an important part of my chiildhood.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 23:08, Reply)

I still know how to..
Write Cheques,
Change a Wheel, oi & filter,Air filter, plugs (and points)on a car,
Use a tile and glass cutter,
fit a VHS C into a full sized VHS video converter, and remove the damm thing again.
Manually focus a camera,
Set Exposure speed on a 35mm camera,
Set and light a fire with just matches,
Expand rubber seals with hot water and compress metal tubes with a freezer.
Remove Aliminiuim from steel with a blowtorch and know why it sticks so hard.
Polish shoes, (and wear leather shoes)
Set up lead weights on fishing line (how long has that been banned?)
Use a landing and keepnet.
Gut a fish.
Make my own salad dressing.
Care for a Wax jacket.
Iron a shirt.
(Gru being trolled since 1998, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 23:05, 2 replies)

Alphabet
I can only remember 25 letters of the alphabet.

I don't know why.
( The Lone Groover has mal des nuts., Mon 4 Jul 2011, 22:34, 2 replies)

Do you want to face the engine?
I can still remember how to make reservations using the obscure codes of the old BR Computer Reservations systems which was obsolete when I started using it in the late 90s. I last had to use it 9 years ago.
(jvz, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 22:23, Reply)

I used to work for a woman who dictated endless letters
so I went on a shorthand course. The end of said course pretty much coincided with my boss's retirement and my new boss has never asked me to take dictation. Ever. But hey I can scribble out a shopping list in under six seconds.
( thecrapgatsby isn't listening LALALALALALA, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 22:12, 1 reply)

Culchie
I can turf and cut peat using hand-tools, so take your tractor and piss off
(mymilkshakebringsallthemongstotheyard poison hearts, poison minds - joining hate, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 20:55, 6 replies)

I can still edit videotape with a razor blade and stickytape
Well to be perfectly honest a Smith's Splicer and stickytape.

www.vtoldboys.com/editingmuseum/smith.htm
(BoredWitless, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 20:48, Reply)

I also owned computers in the 1980s, but I know better than to shite on about half remembered bits of code.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 20:37, 1 reply)

I have an amazing memory....
no wait... no i dont
I can't remember what day it is let alone what i had for breakfast 5 years ago...
( SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 20:02, 1 reply)

I can code in MVS Assembler and I can make corn dollies.
I have never used either of these skills in real life but should you ever need a bit of low level programming at a Young Farmers convention, by god I'm your woman.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 20:02, Reply)

Poke 36879,x
Sets a colour in Commodore Vic-20/C-64 Basic.

When my Dad got his brand new Ford Sierra, registration A379PCR, I was over the moon as this was easy to remember via Always 3(68)79 Poke Colours Randomly.

Nerd.
(darfbozo, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 19:35, 1 reply)

I can spell correctly without using a spellcheck.
And I know how to use a paper dictionary to look up words I can't remember.

I'm a dinosaur, me.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 4 Jul 2011, 19:02, 2 replies)

the alphabet at the grand old age of what everit is on my next birthday i will
be able to remember and recite the full alphabet

just a shame that i cant put it down in writing or type it out as i want it to
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 18:58, 2 replies)

Might come in handy one day
Bah wheep grahnah wheep ninny bon...
(animal252 last activated his kitten hammer on, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 18:38, 2 replies)