Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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long thread is longso on the back of kristine wanting me to buy her an ipod, what would you want a fellow b3tan to do for you, or to buy you?
alt: what would you say is your finest feature, cleverest skill, or USP?
altalt: go on then... lunch? i am thinking fire roasted pepper and goats cheese soup from EAT.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:32,
127 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
I'd like naked ape to suck me offhe has soft hands
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:36,
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you don't just use your mouth for a suck job do you?its no wonder no man thinks your a keeper
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:12, Reply)
if you want sweaty online porn, ask a loser who watches itdon't ask me to write it for you
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:51,
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my gf does this thing with her handsi swear to god, its ridiculous
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 13:32, Reply)
I'd like Spikeypickle to drive me to TTS Meats on Saturday (not a euphemism)Alt: I'm an alright chef, and getting better, with steak in particular. I can also build PCs.
Alt Alt: No idea yet, might wander down the road for a sandwich.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:37,
Reply)
I'd like CP to buy me a pint...and it will happen in the next hour!
alt: I have none
altalt: I'll be having alcohol. Eating's cheating
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:39, Reply)
I would like a fellow b3tan to give me a massive fucking tellyI have sent several b3tans several things but I keep forgetting to send stuff to vippers but he left us so fuck him in the ear!
My cleverest skill is I can do amazing things with my tongue so have been popular with the ladies as long as they don't look down and see my horrible face.
Lunch? Lunch! I have no time for lunch now, I'm the boss!
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Peej, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:39,
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ooh i forgot about that, i should have told you!sorry, my dad gave it to his cleaner in the end. he pre-empted us by buying a fucking obscene 50" 3D thing that my mother wouldn't have let through the front door!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:41,
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Yeh well you let me down SwipeyBroke my heart. Everyday my kids cry themselves to sleep because they have to watch tv on a shitty little 42" screen
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Peej, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:42,
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I have a 32" CRT with in built DVD player and an indoor ariel, shut your trap(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:42,
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You also have Mongoloid and according to Swipey, myself and everyone else who posted in your thread of doom has caught it(
Peej, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:44,
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What are you chattin about?You said you stood up for me yesterday and now I hear this? I feel hurt and let down, I'm not angry, just disappointed
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:55,
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i said i loved you yesterdayand you ignored me. that kind of rejection makes a woman SAD online. SAD.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:56,
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*forces swipe to drink hot gin and reaches for clothes hanger*(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:12,
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:45,
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I'd like you to UPS me some of that soup pleaseMy USP is probably 15 years of experience in my job, work wise. Sense of humour for me possibly?
Alt:
Fucking starving as had no breakfast today. Lunch will be large
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:39,
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i would also like you to fly me over so i can witness geekery in its finest Alt I'm fairly good at hair and makeup, teasing being my specialty
Breakfast will be blueberry bagel
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Lisette von Falcon, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:42,
Reply)
i'm amazing at makeup and truly epic-ally shit at hairwe should team up
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:44,
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she hasn't bought me an ipodOh mentioning dinner I'm a fairly good cook
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Lisette von Falcon, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:52,
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she's still a better date than some i've hadi bet she'd have the manners to say "thanks" if i paid, for one.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:56,
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id even offer to pay halfDates are shit anyway
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Lisette von Falcon, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:01,
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You tell people they have shit hair and make up?That's not very nice
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:44,
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My USP is Talk TalkI left BT because they were too expencive
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Peej, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:42,
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I'd like you or your Dad to buy me a place in the country. Thanks.Alt: I am far to modest to say.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:44,
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feck orfalthough we could have a bash at my place in cornwall maybe. hmmm.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:45,
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it's called Penzance.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:46,
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More likely to be the Duchy.Which of course must be passed on the left hand side.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:47,
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and must never be Bogarted.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:59,
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Hahahahaha Penzance?I could buy Penzance and i've only got about 30p on me.
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Peej, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:48,
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yeah, it was a christmas present last yearnot as stupidly spoiled as it sounds; it's in my name for the IHT reasons discussed yesterday, but it's let out most of the time and of course the money all goes to my dad. i haven't actually been to see it yet. i'm a bit funny about it for various family reasons, mostly involving my father's bitch, whom i LOATHE.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:48,
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Well you will come out for a nice cream tea when you visit won't you?Where abouts is it?
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Peej, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:50,
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yes of course! !it's a funny name, polperro or something maybe? it's near watergate bay, where "fifteen" is, that's as much as i know. i didn't like the idea of that bitch choosing all the furniture etc, so i have been a bit childish about it really.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:53,
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That's practically another gene pool!She's forgotten internal combustion engines still get burnt as witches in Cornwall.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:00,
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best of all the countiesI love cornwall
it's my friend.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:47,
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Little known factBut I am actually the King of Cornwall and have great power in my kingdom so if you are ever around and need anything just ask.
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Peej, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:49,
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I have over Half a Million Subjects and a fucking crownWhat do you have fuckface!
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Peej, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:56,
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Pam Ayres lolz.Rarest of all the lolz.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:59,
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99 problemsbut my crotch ain't one.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:00,
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I'd like Gonz to cook me breakfastI've had none (except a couple of plums) and lunch is a long way off.
Alt: pretty good at fixing thengs mechanical or electrical
altalt: I have some left over vegetable curry, not a lot but it was nice so finger crossed it will fill the yawning void in me.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:47,
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Probably, given the state of Gonz's guts. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:50,
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allez vous faire foutre vous plié spastique.(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:53,
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Si les cuisiniers Gonz il, je le mange(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:53,
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Poor Phillie will never be a real ,man again now :((
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:50,
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I live in a house with three womenI never would have been a real man again anyway
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Peej, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:58,
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I'd love Gonz to cook for mebut I'd like to pre-approve the menu in case his mind is in "the wrong half zone"
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:52,
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I have eaten at his once and I can say it was worth it.(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:00,
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yeah, he has some really good flavour ideasand then he has some totally fucking awful ones. I'd say it's 50:50 and I'd probably take those odds.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:02,
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Alt, charming, witty, erudite.Alt alt, carrot and coriander soup and crayfish noodles. Not a big fan of EAT.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:49, Reply)
I'd like one of you to mark some the utter shit I'm currently dealing with.I'm not particular who, but I'd prefer them to be pleasant company for a few pints afterwards.
alt. Clearly, the fact that I'm always right about everything. Or my pendulous cock.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:50,
Reply)
who are the people in your photos by the way You should put usernames by faces so that I can spy
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Lisette von Falcon, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:53,
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i know, i thought about it, but then wasn't sure what the social protocol was on identifying people!(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:01,
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anyway, the next mini bash is in the diaryand there'll be another big london bash in the summer, so you can perve to your heart's content on those too shortly!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:02,
Reply)
I will be attending the next London one for sure...*cue mass exodus from B3ta Calendar*
Do I know you on FB swipey?
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:09,
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no! captain placid was supposed to tell you to add me if you wanted to.blame him.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:29,
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are the photos online now?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:02,
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only on fbdue to requests by attendees not to publicise!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:06,
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I'm ashamed to confess that it took you posting those photos for me to realise I even knew you on FB.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:06,
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Soz!Nice to belatedly make your acquaintence though.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:14,
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Is the album private, then? curses.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:10,
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sounds good (
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:34,
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You know the one you commented on? You said "they look happy"I'm the French one. You can tell by the sneer.
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Kroney, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:17,
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Alt: speaking as a true polymath it's almost impossible to say.Is it my encylopaedic knowledge of pointless ephemera? Perhaps it's my needlessly-large vocabulary? Or my ability to get in free to Harry Potter conventions in the guise of one of the characters?
I think it might be my teeth.
Lunch is leftover beef stew and crushed spuds (sorry Phillie). NOMMERS.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:54,
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I don't really like people buying me expensive presents, as it betrays my working class origins.However I would accept a bumming from Darth. Or a pint. Probably a pint actually, come to think of it.
My finest physical feature (so I'm told) is my arse. My finest personality trait is (so I'm told) my sense of humour and sparkling wit. According to my GF I also have a particular skill that I'm not terribly comfortable sharing with the group, as I am far too modest.
*licks eyebrows*
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:01, Reply)
There's no skill in that.You just need people who are short enough to have eyes at your mouth level, and you need to take them by surprise.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:03,
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I'd like AA to let me know when my favourite current band and favourite all-time band are playing in the UK so I can buy tickets to see themFucking HERO.
Alt: I am a pub quiz legend on account of my sponge-like brain which only absorbs useless information. I am also, in common with most of my people, good at listening and giving advice to girls on the subject of men.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:11, Reply)
darth foxtrotyou seen alabama shakes? the lead singer sounds like a man, looks like a man, but guess what?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:13, Reply)
No. I have not.Are they some kind of young person's popular music?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:21, Reply)
They are very good.Not as good as the new Sweet Billy Pilgrim album, which I am plugging left right and centre at the moment, as it's pretty much the greatest thing I have heard so far this year, but very good.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:23,
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Sort of like Arch Enemy then, only probably a slightly different genre.Also, Angela Gossow only sometimes looks like a man...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9AcG0glVu4
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:28,
Reply)
nah the bird off arch enemy looks like a birdhaven't you been paying attention you no-mummed cuntprick?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:30, Reply)
Read what I said above, you whiney little pissant.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:32,
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I want Monty to give me financial advice.I am skilled in many many ways. And I have great cheekbones.
Any more questions for me?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:15, Reply)
et me EEEEVVVVVVEEEERRRYYYYYOOONNNNNEEE!
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:22,
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HahahahaI like these little moments of calm before the storm
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Kroney, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 12:27,
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