New Thread Time
We all love Blousie and her norks but it is time for new stuff.

I found an SD card on holiday. Unfortunately it does not contain porno pics. What is the best/worst thing you've found? What did you do with it?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:48, 189 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I hate being the centre of attention.....LoL

( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:49, Reply)

Don't want to piss on your birthday cornflakes missy
but the thread had somewhat conked out.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:52, Reply)

I found my nephew waiting behind a door this morning to pounce and give me a hug.
That was nice.
( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:51, Reply)

I like this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:52, Reply)

Was it a special hug that ended in a sex wee?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:52, Reply)

he showed her where her clitoris is

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:54, Reply)

Thanks Eminem

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:56, Reply)

OH GOD OH GDO OH GOD
I got up, got dressed, got showered, waited for the clock to turn to get to work, and feel asleep and only just woke up ! OH GOD OH GD OH GOD
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:56, Reply)

Ooops

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:58, Reply)

As an 18 year old, me and two mates found a bag containing 20 blocks of resin in a pub
We quickly stashed this in one of the lad's hoods then played it cool (i.e. terrified) when the local drug dealer came storming back in looking for it.

"NEEDLESS TO SAY" we had the last laugh (for about a month smoking ourselves stupid)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:57, Reply)

PEAROAST!!!LOL111!!
Wavy lines, etc.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:59, Reply)

That was his first mistake...

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:00, Reply)

Have I posted this before?
I cannae remember man!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:01, Reply)

Actually I have posted INTERNET LIES
It was 18 blocks

Sorry everyone
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:02, Reply)

AH CANNAT SEE, MAN!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:02, Reply)

WHO SAID THAT?!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:03, Reply)

My brother found a half oz of skunk on Brighton beach once.
Another chap I know found a matchbox full of E's behind the cistern at a rave, whilst he was throwing his guts up.

TRUE STORIES.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:01, Reply)

This looked like a bag of blackjacks

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:02, Reply)

I could fucking do with that right about now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:04, Reply)

That was my entry into schmoking
what I can recall
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:05, Reply)

I found Jesus
So I turned him in to the Romans.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:58, Reply)

Best thing really

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 9:58, Reply)

I found Black Jesus
He rode into town on an ass. Yo' MOMMA'S ASS!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:13, Reply)

My Mam doesn't even own a donkey

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:23, Reply)

I've found that you lot are tedious benders.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:00, Reply)

not so much found out as been aware of for months

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:01, Reply)

Liking the new name

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:04, Reply)

thanks
dunno where i got the idea from
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:06, Reply)

I found £45 outside my doctor's surgery
So it had probably been dropped by a poor sick person.

I bought a couple of bottles of wine, and necked them.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:02, Reply)

Did you feel better?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:03, Reply)

Better than the prescription for Prozac I went in for.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:08, Reply)

Wine is the best Prozac

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:10, Reply)

i found a wallet, tracked down the owner who had been robbed of it
and she sent me £20 reward
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:03, Reply)

I found a purse that had been emptied of cash and handed that back in
and got a STERN look like I'd nicked the cash

Fucking bitch
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:04, Reply)

I found a camera full of baby pictures
The baby looked like the offspring of some bent spastic, but I still managed to sell the pictures to a paedophile ring.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:11, Reply)

tell your dad I want those back

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:13, Reply)

Sure
Give me your address and I'll pass it on to them.
They're very keen to meet her in person.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:21, Reply)

A couple of years ago, it was 3 days before payday, and I was absolutely skint, painfully so.
I was trying to work out what I could make from the pitiful ingredients left in the house, which I think amounted to pasta, gravy granules and yorkshire puddings, when I noticed a £10 note on the floor, only a few feet in front of me. I was over the fucking moon with that one! Headed to Aldi, picked up several ingredients, and made myself a massive fucking lasagne, lasted me until after payday. Happy days.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:04, Reply)

Down to my last £5 as a poor teenager, I noticed the guy at the cashpoint next to me walk off
leaving £60 sticking out. I stupidly handed it straight in to the bank. FUCKING TIT
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:05, Reply)

Haha, you fucking bellend

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:07, Reply)

Indeed
I did the ONO moment about 5 seconds after walking out of the bank
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:09, Reply)

As someone who has beena victim of cash point crime
I would think you would know better
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:09, Reply)

There's stupidity in trusting someone, and stupidity in withdrawing money, then walking away
Granted, I'll hold my hands up and admit I've done the latter once, but I realised within seconds, and legged it back, and was very fortunate.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:14, Reply)

I've done it
But then again, I walked out of ashop without whatever I was buying
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:15, Reply)

Haha, that's quite impressive!
I recently paid for my shopping, nipped back to the till to help a friend, and without thinking just left my shopping lying there, unattended. Oops
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:20, Reply)

My wife despairs, she is super organised and I am all over the place generally
She thinks I might have early onset alzhiemers pratchettlolz
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:24, Reply)

I go through stages of both, from remembering absolutely everything I need to do, completely
To staring at the mince I'd taken out to defrost about half an hour earlier, wondering why it was out, and putting it back in the freezer.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:28, Reply)

Wait, why did I come upsatirs?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:30, Reply)

To hang yourself

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:31, Reply)

Well I am ashamed of the things your mum and I did...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:39, Reply)

I have heard that she can be pretty brutal with that strap-on

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:42, Reply)

tell me about it, even the horse didn't touch the sides after she was finished with your dad

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:45, Reply)

It's their sexy goat's tails I think

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:31, Reply)

Very good

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:31, Reply)

I think it's the furry bollockls on their chins

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:38, Reply)

Walking into a room with a confused look on my face before walking straight out again is a special of mine
My Dad does the exact same thing.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:32, Reply)

that's an impressive distance

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:33, Reply)

Mrs Cow left her hand luggage on the security x-ray belt last week and walked off
I noticed she didn't have it about ten mins later and watched the colour drain from her face
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:22, Reply)

Oops

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:28, Reply)

I pointed and laughed
This did not go down well......AT ALL
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:32, Reply)

Hahaha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:33, Reply)

This is GOLD, you should pitch the Beeb the idea of a sitcom based on your holiday antics
100% guaranteed to get commissioned
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:37, Reply)

Now now
Play nice
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:41, Reply)

It's definitely make it to pilot stage, no word of a lie

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:44, Reply)

*rings Paxman*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:59, Reply)

i did that too once
but i've never given my PIN number to anyone
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:16, Reply)

Which PIN number?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:23, Reply)

3415, taht one

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:25, Reply)

I thought so

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:26, Reply)

PERSONAL IDENTIFICATION NUMBER NUMBER?!?!?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:04, Reply)

It’s like people who say Tannoy when they mean public-address system.
Tannoy is a brand name.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:06, Reply)

I'm going to shock you now.
I like wine.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:08, Reply)

this is my favourite post that you have ever done. A Partridge quote, I'm equally shocked and happy.

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:28, Reply)

you public address system the hell out of me

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:10, Reply)

I think that should be
"Dit-dit diddle-iddle dee" not "didly-dee"
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:13, Reply)

how many fucken characters you reckon i've got in my sig motherfucker?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:13, Reply)

You have to prioritise
Which part of this sig is the most important? Eh?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:15, Reply)

\o/

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:20, Reply)

your girlfriend must find a lot of £10 notes on the floor

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:07, Reply)

Why?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:10, Reply)

she fat man

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:10, Reply)

+ 's a

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:12, Reply)

squibby-du-bu-bu-bum-bum-bu-bum-bum

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:54, Reply)

hahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:59, Reply)

Tee hee

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:09, Reply)

I found a tramp, stinking of piss and shit, rocking back and forth under a canal bridge
he was cradling a bottle of meths and a bag of white powder, he was mumbling about some nonsense about a "Hawk wind". so i paid him some pennies to dance for me then i pushed him into the canal LOL
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:11, Reply)

HIS DOG DIED IN THAT CANAL YOU INSENSITIVE BASTARD!!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:12, Reply)

I didn't know his cock was stuck in the dog

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:13, Reply)

No you didn't.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:19, Reply)

Hi Monty, did you miss me whilst i was away?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:21, Reply)

Of course I did.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:24, Reply)

HE RAN OUT OF BULLETS!! AHAHAHAHA!11!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:26, Reply)

I found that for the price of a bottle of lambrini and some carnations from the garage
your mum will let me and the rugby club take her up the shitter
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:32, Reply)

Her prices have gone up
I'll have to make sure I get my take
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:36, Reply)

+ a packet of monster munch

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:39, Reply)

I found a seagull with no head in the garden once.
I posted it to gonz, I reckoned he could make something tasty with it.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:35, Reply)

He made a gully fleshlight

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:39, Reply)

COR!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:40, Reply)

hahaha
Careful though, t'snick your chips given have a chance
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:41, Reply)

won't be the first, nor the last.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:41, Reply)

How does it smell?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:46, Reply)

like a fisted mermaid

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:51, Reply)

hahaha!
sooo stealing that one for future lols
*clicks*
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 10:58, Reply)

b3ta
improved it immeasurably
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:17, Reply)

The level of improvement has, quite literally, no beginning.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:20, Reply)

WTF is going on with it today?
It is slower than Apey
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:20, Reply)

no quentin
he usually keeps the posting rate above 100bpm
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:32, Reply)

It' all about quantity not quality with me

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:41, Reply)

I mean the performance of the site, not the amount of posts

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:43, Reply)

You're getting that too?
I thought it couldn't just be me - other bits of the site seem to be working ok.
I think we broke off topic.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:47, Reply)

Seems fine to me

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:49, Reply)

The tab I posted that reply in still hasn't finished attempting to post
I'm posting this in a new tab.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:53, Reply)

your computer is broken

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:54, Reply)

When living in Streatham,
I found a black sack dumped in our front garden. I looked inside and it had one of those rubber fake vagina sex toy things in it. Not in a box or anything.

I'd say that was the worst thing I ever found, but it would be a lie, as I also found a Manic Street Preachers CD once.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:24, Reply)

If you tolerate this etc.....

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:27, Reply)

Ugh that is disgusting!
Manic Street Preachers?
I hope you washed your hands.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:27, Reply)

I once found a St Etienne CD inside a PC
It had a picture of an owl drawn on it
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:44, Reply)

I found a really old wallet in a hedge whilst out cycling
It had 180 quid in the old style £20 notes in it. Bugger I thought, can't spend those. Luckily the bank exchanged them and I bought lots of lovely booze.
( Peej, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:33, Reply)

Found a full bottle of Southern Comfort in a hedge at the Leeds festival
Seals still on it.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:44, Reply)

What no hedge porn? Disappointing

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:45, Reply)

I found a mint condition copy of the sunday sport
does that count?
( Peej, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:47, Reply)

Dunno, can you reach the billy mill roundabout over a grainy picture of linda lussadi?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:48, Reply)

I dunno
When I was a kid I could lose me mess over the bra page in the Kays catalogue.
( Peej, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:52, Reply)

Did CQ flounce will i was away?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:53, Reply)

Yes, he said it was for our own good because he would have ruined r internetz

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:55, Reply)

oh dear, which left winger can i bait now?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:55, Reply)

*waves naively*

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:56, Reply)

hand wringing Al

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:57, Reply)

that's the plan

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:58, Reply)

there was a BIG falling out with the Q-man
no longer second favourite in the CQ book, no siree
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:56, Reply)

Oh dear, i thought they were friends
so sad
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:57, Reply)

he said he didn't like me and everything

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:57, Reply)

ONLY BATTERED KNOWS THE TRUTH!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:58, Reply)

battered doesn't even know what's on the top shelf at the newsagent

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:59, Reply)

Are you ok? Do you need someone to talk at this difficult time?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:58, Reply)

is there a b3ta counsellor i could speak to?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:59, Reply)

As OT is a black hole of depression and failure I'm sure someone will step up with some real liofe experiences

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:00, Reply)

I liked the stage when posters kept confusing it with marie-claire's problem page

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:01, Reply)

link?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:02, Reply)

www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:04, Reply)

just trawl through any fat needy birds posts
there's a depressing formula to the attention seeking
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:05, Reply)

weight x age divided by years spent alone to the power of living off parents?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:12, Reply)

yep, the applied stage is adding up cats to that equation, but I haven't mastered that tricky shit yet

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:16, Reply)

I certainly think of no better place to get marriage advice

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:03, Reply)

if you spend the housekeeping on a weekend of drinking with internet losers, leaving the wife with two young children she'll love you forever !

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:10, Reply)

That's what my plan is for September!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:11, Reply)

if she knows what she's up to she'll check your chubby paws for the smell of fat birds quim when you get back, better use polo mints

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:14, Reply)

Thanks for the tip
I'm still alright to crash at yours, yeah?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:19, Reply)

only if you let me sniff your fingers

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:20, Reply)

my favourite is the declaration by the affronted party that they've deleted their tormentors from facebook
fuckin shits gone down then
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:59, Reply)

Oh SNAP!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:00, Reply)

Aw man I got deleted for facebook by CQ but I didn't think I did any tormenting.

( Peej, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:09, Reply)

you bullied the shit out of AA cos of his girlfriend
and i don't think CQ liked it
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:11, Reply)

you must have looked at him funny in one of your facebook pictures, that can be the only explanation

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:11, Reply)

I think I got deleted by BGB
and I don't even know what I gone done.

sads.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:14, Reply)

The Olympic torch will pass the Billy Mill roundabout today, fact fans!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:11, Reply)

I hope it shoots flames as it arrives

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:20, Reply)

After my little brother and his ex-missus moved out of our second house, I moved in.
At the bottom of the garden I found a number of black bin liners. Sticking out of one wsa a huge vibrator. NICE.
( Kroney, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:52, Reply)

Your brother is SICK

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 11:54, Reply)

Did you check sister-in-law's "aroma"?
Dirty French bastard.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:07, Reply)

how did she smell?
WITHASPOON!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:08, Reply)

Like a fisted mermaid.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:13, Reply)

Oh, God no. She was a munter.
His new one's much better. Not that I'd sniff her dildo either, you understand. We're not that close.
( Kroney, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:13, Reply)

SNIFF MY DILDO, YOU MOTHER!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:14, Reply)

hahaha

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:15, Reply)

This is well shit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:08, Reply)

Start a new thread about '70s garage rock

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:09, Reply)

Noooo
Tell us the story about your mates killing that guy again. I told my mum the story about your grandad, she loved it
( Peej, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:10, Reply)

60's garage rock you FUCKING IDIOT.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:14, Reply)

But Brian Adams got his first real six string back in the summer of '69
meaning, by the time his garage rock band were tight enough to play live, it'd be well into 1970.

I put it to you, Boyce, that you know FUCK ALL about music.

Edit: Of course, it all went to cock when Jimmy quit.
( Kroney, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:19, Reply)

before that he only played the ukalele
of course he was smaller then...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:21, Reply)

name somethings that is white on the outside but brown in the middle
i'm failing at finding anything
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:13, Reply)

An inside out kinder egg

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:14, Reply)

does not exist, try again

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:14, Reply)

TRUFFLE

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:15, Reply)

a white dog turd
I saw one the other day
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:15, Reply)

White chocolate Malteser

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:17, Reply)

I found four pairs of shoes/trainers I forgot I owned the other day.
Nothing amazing unfortunately. I might throw them away.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:10, Reply)

Have you found your balls yet?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:12, Reply)

found two great things on trains
the first, was at a point of low financial tide, chatted to some yanks on a night train headed for gatwick. they got off and when i got up to go at nmy stop, i saw they left a bundle of 160 euros on the seat. no idea who they were, they were heading for the airport, so i took it and turned it into food shopping and a night out with the missus.

the second, was a black carrier bag containing a receipt for a massive massive amount (£90 worth) of porn and sex toys from a shop in london, and a still in the cellophane wrapper, unopened one of those 'looks vaguely like a torch but is actually a disturbingly puckered rubber anus in a tube' sex toys, whcih i turned into a comedy birthday present for a friend who has so much money there's no point trying to get him anything other than comedy/wrong presents.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:15, Reply)

That one was for the Americans daughter's cancer treatment, I hope you feel good about yourself

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:18, Reply)

how the fuck do you treat cancer
with a rubber anus?
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:20, Reply)

hahaha

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:20, Reply)

i mean, maybe if she had ass cancer
it could be slapped in place as a surrogate anus.. maybe some kind of drawstring arrangement to control flow..


i'm overthinking this aren't i?
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:22, Reply)

You kept the fake arse, didn't you?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:19, Reply)

nah
i found it with my girlfriend. she has a real arse. i gave it to my friend, who is a certified, fourth-dan wrongun.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:20, Reply)

You gave BP a fleshlight?

( Peej, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:24, Reply)

i love that you knew who it was simply by my description
yes i did :D as far as i know, it's unused. he SAYS. it's a freaky rubber anus you'd struggloe to fit a pinky through in fairness. not exactly fantasy material.
the fact we found it on the train made it that bit wronger.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:33, Reply)

I'd have tried it out

( Peej, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 12:42, Reply)