What's making you feel like shit today?
I had to get up at 4.30 to leave at 5.00 to get to Birmingham for a 7.30 meeting. Not impressed.

Alt: ketchup or brown sauce?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:03, 122 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Hangover.
Broken.

Send help.
( Kroney, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:04, Reply)

Apathy!
Alt: ketchup.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:08, Reply)

Who cares?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:19, Reply)

Not me, that's for sure.

( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:20, Reply)

It's policy at my place that I shouldn't have to leave my house before 7am to get to any meeting.
If I do, then I get a hotel the night before.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:10, Reply)

I could have travelled up the night before, but then I don't get to see my daughter.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:10, Reply)

Ah, stop moaning then.
Still a 7:30am meeting is weird, people won't be fully awake.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:12, Reply)

Slap dash public sector practices.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:13, Reply)

Makes sense, 7:30 offsite meetings discriminate against people with young children, people with disabilities
People caring for elderly relatives. Shouldn't happen.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:19, Reply)

I hear what you say. `
Trouble is in the private sector you can't say much about it unless you are the top man. If my senior mgmt want to do this sort of thing, and they frequently do, then your arse is in the meeting at 7.30.

I would have gone up on the train the night before, first class, gone out for a curry and got a bit shedded and stayed in a hotel. And they'd have paid for all of it.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:24, Reply)

That may be the difference, here that's a perfectly legitimate thing to say to anyone,
you're not making any trouble or being akward, just suggesting something that could help a number of staff.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:29, Reply)

fucking hell
we have 7.30am meetings all the time. ditto meetings that start at 7.30pm and go on overnight. if you're on a tight deadline to completion for contract races or tax deadlines or a court hearing etc etc, you have no choice.

this is how big businesses work.

it's also how they pay for the public sector!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:06, Reply)

ahem. you missed this. Just after "pay for"

"top end tax accountants to completely avoid paying for"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:21, Reply)

omg it's yesterday again
omg it's yesterday again
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:42, Reply)

Giving Battered the advantage he needs.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:14, Reply)

why? is she invisible for the rest of the year?
prick
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:14, Reply)

I like to spend as much as I can wIth her.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:21, Reply)

+anking
you edited
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:21, Reply)

Yes. Typing on an iPad.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:23, Reply)

unless she's dying you'll have plenty of time with her, one evening won't hurt

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:24, Reply)

Wait until you're a parent. You'll view things differently then.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:36, Reply)

its ok
i already want to spend every night with your daughter
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:42, Reply)

jeeeeeeeeeeeesus battered
don't encourage him to give up the glove
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:03, Reply)

So that's where shes gone
Fucking cheating oven glove bitch!
( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:06, Reply)

my terminally retarded shitcunt employees
do you reckon it would be ok for me to sack them all and start again?

alt: Brown
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:12, Reply)

the better solution is to substitute them for marmite, or something like chilli jam

( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:15, Reply)

Try finding a good hard working engineer and then complain.

( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:15, Reply)

I wouldn't listen.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:16, Reply)

do you know, i actually know at least two damn good, reliable and capable engineers
but the rest are shit
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:16, Reply)

You should sack them all and then get the government to give you free workers from the jobseekers.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:17, Reply)

we've got free labour (well, almost) from HMP Wandsworth
they're part of the problem
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:18, Reply)

Get more, make them sleep under bridges.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:22, Reply)

i don't even own a bridge
we had 2, but then one (who was in for fraud) was caught with a secret bank account and taken back inside.

he's due out next month too, the dodgey cunt
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:23, Reply)

Sometimes I think you might be the only decent one who works there, Quentin.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:24, Reply)

nah, kev and joe and great
sue's a fucking diamond, jackie rocks the shit, and irene's the most professional person i've ever met

but the other three darwin award contenders seem to be competing in a race to be the first self-lobotomised chav retard shitcunts in the world
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:28, Reply)

I didn't think prisoners were allowed to tweet from jail

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:27, Reply)

you can have mobiles in prison, with permission from the prison
but it can't have a camera on it
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:28, Reply)

Try paying for labour, you might get better results.*
*You might not.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:22, Reply)

we have plenty of employees, just the one convict
and tbh honest, they're worse than the con, it's actually their influence on him that's dragging HIM down
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:23, Reply)

They should pack it all in and go to university to get a decent degree

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:22, Reply)

the only thing they could get a degree in is burns from the kettle
i'm amazed they can cross the road to get to work in the mornings
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:30, Reply)

Alright, Danny Baker?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:16, Reply)

Cheeky cunt.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:21, Reply)

yesterday's bike ride
on the upside, it's the first time back on a bike since i cunted my knee in the fuck, and it would appear- touch wood *shoves hand into trousers* that my anterior cruciate ligament has ceased it's vendetta against me doing anything physical involving my legs.. on the downside, i feel like i got kicked in the arse by a donkey.

alt 'chup
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:16, Reply)

Wuss
I don't even have anterior cruciate ligaments anymore and I still cycle. Anterior cruciate ligaments are for losers, losers and gays. Mark at school told me that if you have anterior cruciate ligaments there's a 90% chance you'll turn gay.
( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:31, Reply)

p.s. your synopsis on my job is a tad out of date mister loaf sir
I am now the apple systems developer which is much more fun and important sounding.
( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:34, Reply)

apple themed spanner monkey
wanting to spend more time tinkering and less time sneding emails and talking to real humanoids

better? :D
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:39, Reply)

Nope, I manage servers these days, Don't go near spanners

( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:41, Reply)

apple themed server monkkey
with spanner aspirations, a black eye, and an oven glove full of congealing jism

better?
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:48, Reply)

My issue with apple is they have made an unupgradable, unfixable laptop.
I just think its unethical. Sure its less work for people like me but if I had just spunked out £2k on a laptop only to be told "sorry your hard drive has failed after 18 months (which they do ALOT!) No you can't put in a new drive, either pay us a daft amount of money or buy a new one" Id be pretty pissed of. Also the soldered on ram thing is fucking gay. Toshiba did it on a few laptops and if the ram failed you had to buy a new laptop, which sucks. No expansion slot so no ram upgrades possible either unless you buy them at time of purchase. £160 for 8gb ram which is about 5 times what it should be.
( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:49, Reply)

perfectly fair
but the fact that it means LESS work for you not more is still valid.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:51, Reply)

less work is never a good thing for any business

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:57, Reply)

Its a real pain though
I fix it myself its done same day. Apple don't do onsite repair so we drop it off at a repair center who send it off. Usual turn around is 2 weeks them we have to drive back out to newquay to pick it up. 2 weeks without their laptop turns the staff member in to an even bigger twat. Then they get it back to find Apple have wiped their drive and they have not got a backup because they are morons.
( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:05, Reply)

you work in an orchard?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:41, Reply)

Yup, You want zum zider?

( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:42, Reply)

i fucking well want zum zyder
moi 'ansome
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:49, Reply)

I'm making you Zum Zyder me old mucker!

( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:50, Reply)

so when are you and wifey/glovey coming up?
reckon you'll make santacon this year?
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:54, Reply)

Unlikely :P No-one will look after BOTH kids
Bastards
( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:58, Reply)

seperate them, an action movie where they meet when they're much older will ensue

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:05, Reply)

yes but you have a handy surgical replacement.
i just have the spannered original bit of fleshy fail.
the doc compared it to ripping a rawlplug halfway out of a wall then the plaster healing behind it.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:40, Reply)

Only one leg got the replacement
the other leg is just fucking hard. Also I tore them when I was 12 and didn't get the repair until I was 23 which makes me super hard and cool and that's why ladies all want to shag me and stuff.
( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:43, Reply)

the other leg wasn't damaged
was it? other than being attached to you i mean :D
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:48, Reply)

Yeh second went a few years later.
Genetic defect inherited from my father
( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:03, Reply)

Irritating women are irritating today.
UNREASONABLE.

Alt: Ketchup although I am a recent convert to Heinz BBQ sauce.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:19, Reply)

I spent all my money last night
So you'll have to get by without me on Sat. Will you be able to cope? No, don't cry, you know I hate it when you cry. Oh, come on, there there. I'll buy you a pretty dress to make up for it.
( Kroney, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:21, Reply)

What with? Magic beans? Povvo

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:23, Reply)

Shame.
Will see you another time then.

Nice Gingham dress would be nice.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:26, Reply)

I bet it would, you trollop.

( Kroney, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:28, Reply)

*taps fingers on desk*

( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:21, Reply)

Stop that annoying tapping.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:26, Reply)

*taps louder*

( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:29, Reply)

i was really nice to you last night!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:26, Reply)

You were. You're not the problem.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:27, Reply)

Did Lusty refuse to sleep on the sofa?

( Kroney, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:30, Reply)

WITh a sPoon!!!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:30, Reply)

5am rape barry hahaha

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:38, Reply)

did you let him shit on you?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:27, Reply)

Sadly not.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:46, Reply)

not for the want of trying, mind

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:00, Reply)

My internet has been borked twice today - not happy!
:Alt NEITHER! Sauces are the devil's own semen mixed with the smegma of dead lepers.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:22, Reply)

HP Fruity sauce
is the only true religion. Get thee behind me, ketchup.
( Kroney, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:22, Reply)

^ WITH BELLS ON !!!
Yay and verily...
( b3tz, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:38, Reply)

Alt: Encona Hot Pepper Sauce

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:23, Reply)

Nowt, chipper is me.
Alt: reggae reggae sauce
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:23, Reply)

can you be more specific?
I'll have ketchup on a bacon sarnie but brown sauce on a steak pie.
fucking hell battered, get it together man!
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:24, Reply)

That is completely backwards

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:05, Reply)

A bottle of MiP Rose, and many Fursty Ferrets
alt: Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup Ketchup
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:26, Reply)

So. You're a ketchup man then?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:27, Reply)

STRIKETHOUGH LOLS!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:27, Reply)

Bobby is going to punch you in the ear later, he said so last night
If I was you I'd invest in some ear defenders
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:30, Reply)

This is why you lost in the poll against Q. Autism Cunt.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:36, Reply)

uh-oh looks like Naked Ape's ripe for an ear punching too!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:37, Reply)

I decided i was going to be nice to bobby today after he got all upset about his twitter
Now I'm not so sure
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:01, Reply)

Sorry cuntrag, I'm off out now. Enjoy your day at work.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:02, Reply)

MAYBE I WILL!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:05, Reply)

he's being very abusive to you now, ape
i'd be afraid if i were you
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:05, Reply)

I've got my big headphones on
hopefully that'll be enough
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:11, Reply)

Cheap plonk hangover...

I drank a lot less yesterday than I did the day before but I mixed my drinks yesterday - lethal.

Alt: It depends - Ketchup for chips, brown for bacon butties.
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:34, Reply)

The 'Arthur' of tuesday was fairly epic
Especially as I had the place to myself when I got home so the Co-Op vodka flowed freely!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:39, Reply)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2162506/One-young-Tibetan-dead-critical-condition-setting-protest-Chinese-rule.html
If the Chinese wait long enough there won't be any Tibetans left to worry about. They'll all be toast.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:37, Reply)

So ronery.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:46, Reply)

not getting to bed till after 1 the nights this week
All my own fault too. I'm definitely a night owl.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:49, Reply)

Twit

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:00, Reply)

Drinking on a school night is definitely not clever.

( Kroney, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:00, Reply)

i only got your texts this morning, left the phone in the lounge
did you get home ok??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:02, Reply)

Hah, yeah, just caught the 1:34.
Otherwise I'd have been sat in Paddington until 3:30. Daft tit.
( Kroney, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:03, Reply)

see my comments yesterday about proles coming into london
tut tut
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:04, Reply)

like lambs to the slaughter

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:05, Reply)

I always forget to check the last times of everything.
Hilariously, I feel asleep on the train home and nearly ended up in Reading.
( Kroney, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:06, Reply)

shudder
there is NOTHING hilarious about ending up in reading.

vile soul-destroying place.

almost as bad as slou- oh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:07, Reply)

Missing Slough and ending up in Reading
Like some sort of ironic punishment.
( Kroney, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:08, Reply)

but it is big?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:03, Reply)

My wine subscription arrived
it would have been churlish not to sample a couple.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:06, Reply)

Oh? What did you go for in the end?

( Kroney, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:07, Reply)

wine...he siad so up there ^

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:11, Reply)

I think I'm going to punch you in the ear, too.

( Kroney, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:13, Reply)

hahaha

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:14, Reply)

New World Reds
Also a 6 bottle case of "tempting reds" which was half price and bumped it up to the point I got free delivery and could use my £10 off.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:32, Reply)

I'm now hungry
www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/gallery/2012/may/08/how-cook-grilled-lobster-in-pictures#/?picture=389278140&index=0
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:23, Reply)

b3ta.turb0t.net/questions/offtopic/post1647959
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:25, Reply)

I'm not as fat as the US. Yay!

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:34, Reply)