I'VE HAD A BRILLIANT IDEA!!!!!!
What we need is yet another interminable discussion about different types of mobile telephone!!!

GO!

Actually could we not? Just for one day? If I say please?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:16, 99 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I want one with a dial.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:19, Reply)

Soz Monts
That was my fault I'll not mention them again
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:20, Reply)

Someone I know spotted some hipster prick round our way
with an old-style bakelite handset plugged into their iPhone.

The mind boggles.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:23, Reply)

seen that advertised
worst one I've seen is the case that looks like a cassette tape, so when they're videoing something it looks like they're holding a shitty cassette up to their face.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:29, Reply)

My one makes it look like the back of a black mobile phone
It's super realistic
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:33, Reply)

I swear at mine every single day without fail
My contract doesn't run out until March. CUNTING THING.

HTC Desire by the way. Not HD, not S, not KGB or whatever.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:21, Reply)

It's cloudy and warm today
I don't like it Sir...not one little bit.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:22, Reply)

Cool!
I have the Spazmatic Deacon-S plus - it's a 'WAP phone' which means I get Teletext on it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:24, Reply)

Isn't that the one you have to lick the screen to unlock?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:25, Reply)

Yup. It's 'way cool'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:26, Reply)

I have an empty bean can with a bit of string attached
Jel?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:27, Reply)

Jel doesn't come near.
I used to have the Onken Munch Bunch Desire but the reception was terrible so I returned it to the Belfast Gang off Why Don't You? who I got it from .
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:29, Reply)

My lunchbox says it's 4G
But it ain't :(
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:31, Reply)

Mine says it's 'Gremlins'
but I'm fairly sure the cup SLASH lid on the flask is ACTUALLY 'Muppet Show'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:33, Reply)

Rather than a volume control
Can you go to page 888 and have conversations sub titled?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:29, Reply)

The holidays you can get on there are amazing.
The graphics are so ironic.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:30, Reply)

Too many to choose from
I'd be 'bamboozled' by the selection.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:33, Reply)

holy shit...

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:33, Reply)

i actually really miss teletext.
can anyone link me to a Bamboozle emulator? thks.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:33, Reply)

GO TEAM BT!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:26, Reply)

There's a girl that works in the same technology park as me
That looks a bit like a porn star. Does that mean she's fair game? I just want to know where I stand here.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:28, Reply)

Green for go.
Fill yer boots, son.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:29, Reply)

YES!

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:30, Reply)

She'd probably be well up for some sex when you tell her about your band.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:32, Reply)

You reckon?
Oh man...maybe I could show her some of my SWEET CHOPS
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:34, Reply)

Is it Dirk Diggler?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:33, Reply)

Lexington Steele

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:34, Reply)

I'm going to watch Olympic Weightlifting tonight
It's the mens 77kg and there are no British entrants, so should I support the Korean, the Egyptian, the Pole, the Chinese, the other Chinese, the Thai, the Cuban or the Armenian?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:31, Reply)

The Armenian.
St George was Armenian, so that's nearly TEAM GB.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:32, Reply)

Pedantry alert
Wasnt it Palestine?
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:37, Reply)

I thought that
But I'm scared of Monty's brash claims of superior knowledge in all historical matters, possibly on account of having witnessed many of them first-hand.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:39, Reply)

I just made it up.
My 'lives of the saints' expertise is a little suspect to say the least.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:40, Reply)

And I thought that you really knew those twins, the big nosed one and the black one.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:42, Reply)

Do you know the Aussie punk band The Saints?
Their single 'I'm Stranded' is a masterpiece of sub-Stooges genius.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:43, Reply)

I do not.
Are they one of those rare exceptions to the All Aussie bands are shit rule then?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:45, Reply)

Along with Pete Murray, The Superjesus and AC/DC.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:47, Reply)

I regard 'DC as Scottish.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:52, Reply)

That would be because you're a fucking moron

(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:14, Reply)

You're right, Bon Scott was English.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:16, Reply)

The Easybeats, Nick Cave and Angry Anderson.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:55, Reply)

Suddenly
I've gone off you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:56, Reply)

I'v You'r
gone off you seeing me, just the way I am
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:04, Reply)

The Missing Links' Rich With Nothin is
a) a garage classic and
b) Australian
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:55, Reply)

oh turn it in, you fucking ponce.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:55, Reply)

I don't know that one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:56, Reply)

it was brilliant, but then everyone else had heard of it and i went RIGHT off it.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:04, Reply)

He floats around giving it the big internet hard man
In a Simon Sharma style.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:41, Reply)

How the fuck would I know?
Do I look like a fucking A-rab or some shit?????
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:40, Reply)

The one with the best looking entrance

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:33, Reply)

the one who looks most likely to have a comedy prolapse.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:33, Reply)

Dammit Janet

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:34, Reply)

WHAT??

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:36, Reply)

I offered you a ride on the TH Express earlier
and I was snubbed. SNUBBED!
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:37, Reply)

I SAID YES!!!

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:54, Reply)

LUNCH!
Monts. I've been bullied into helping the family business on my day off.
What sort of bullshit is that?
Anyway, I've got a raise and will get 2 bonuses at the end of the year with my other job and if I don't blow it allll I'm going to pop by, k?
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:34, Reply)

I'll tell you which kind: CRAZY DAMN BULLSHIT. That's what.
That sounds fucking SUPER-COOL. You have FREE ACCOMMODATION in a TOP CENTRAL LONDON LOCATION just waiting for you whenever you like.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:37, Reply)

Have you moved?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:42, Reply)

I was 'moved on'.
I now live in the doorway of Top Shop, Oxford St.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:45, Reply)

Oxford Street is the best part of London BY FAR

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:45, Reply)

I love all the shops with funny T-shirts.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:46, Reply)

where else will i get my large union jack felt top hat's from?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:50, Reply)

Dozer sells them on his Scottish boat.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:57, Reply)

i dont know
I snore pretty badly
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:47, Reply)

I sleep-wank, myself.
We should form a band!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:55, Reply)

Oh man that would totes be like so awesome and shit!!!!!

(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:43, Reply)

tremazing!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:43, Reply)

oh hush

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:47, Reply)

I was being serious :(
I hope you come over to see us.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:51, Reply)

oh well in that case, yes i am coming to see you!
Next check is going to be passport application!
Oh man, do I get to have my own bash? This is so exciting!
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:55, Reply)

Of course you do.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:56, Reply)

I can't make it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:58, Reply)

i was going to bring you pudding and everything

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:00, Reply)

American pudding or english pudding?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:01, Reply)

Also can you please bring some "grits" and some "Biscuits" and some "gravy" Thanks.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:02, Reply)

american

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:02, Reply)

oh man I wish i was free

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:04, Reply)

it's cool bro
You wouldn't have fun anyway
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:09, Reply)

Oh really? Can't we just meet her for a drink rather than having to announce it among this bunch of fucking inbred peados?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:59, Reply)

private meeting with al and monty?
:\
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:01, Reply)

don't leave your drink

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:02, Reply)

She'll need it to wash down the Rohypnol.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:06, Reply)

I'm thinking of getting a new carrier bag
ideally one that I could carry a mobile phone in.
Has anyone got any tips/strong opinions worth arguing on the internet about?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:41, Reply)

make sure it's waterproof

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:42, Reply)

make sure its got handles
I cant stand it when a shop gives you a bag without handles, and you have to grab the bag all the way home.
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:35, Reply)

I am on a conference call using my Blackberry curve, I can't really hear anything

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:41, Reply)

Turn the volume up.

( Kroney, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:42, Reply)

tried that, the quality is shit
It's mainly bad news so i don't care too much
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:43, Reply)

you have to put it on speakerphone.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:55, Reply)

not sure the rest of the office I'm squatting in would like that

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:56, Reply)

You should just go to the toilet.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:59, Reply)

I haven't done a poo today...but what happens if I'm asked something
*echos ominously*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:04, Reply)

As someone who carries a Pay and Go phone which has not had any credit for two years in case I fall off my bike and need an ambulance
I admire how these phone companies have convinced the masses that they not only want one but that they are absolutely necessary. 1200 free text messages a month? Fuck off why would anyone actually need that, 1200 free minutes? What for? Also, free? "Well Phil, I pay £40 a month but I get loads of free minutes!" No you don't, you pay £480 a year to talk to other people when 9 times out of 10 you don't need too. That's more than one of Swipeys haircuts! Also text messaging is retarded.
( Peej, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:56, Reply)

Your all retarded

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:57, Reply)

How do you send pictures of your cock?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:57, Reply)

Email

( Peej, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 13:59, Reply)

Also camera phones are shit
Instagram is also shit

People have spent years making photography better and then shit like instagram which makes your pictures look even worse gets bought for a billion
( Peej, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:00, Reply)

Camera phones are great, you're wrong

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:03, Reply)

they are great, when they are clean
the majority of photos I see are misty white washed poorly composed drivel.
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:34, Reply)

Camera phones and speakers are shit for the same reasons.
too small, ye canna change the laws of physics, cap'n.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 1 Aug 2012, 14:44, Reply)