Because he's a creepy, stalky little midget off the internet.
I saw Boris a couple of years ago at Cargo and was blown away. They are way better than Bumm Hole)))))))))).
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Aug 2012, 8:27, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

He's not my favourite anymore.
The position is open to New applicants. Please reply here as to why you're the best.

Thank you for your time, I'm afraid we can not reply in person to every applicant, but we assure you that every effort is made to consider each candidate fully.

Good luck.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 2 Aug 2012, 8:40, Reply)

I don't care if I'm your favourite or not. You're new here and as far as I'm concerned, you should be pandering to me, not the other way around.
So, tell me why YOU'RE the best, and I'll decide whether or not I should abstain from mercilessly bullying you.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Aug 2012, 8:43, Reply)

How DARE you talk to Windy Pig like that!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Aug 2012, 8:46, Reply)

i've got at least 6 quid in chanhe in my wallet.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 2 Aug 2012, 8:46, Reply)

hmm.
No. Not good enough. Try harder.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Aug 2012, 8:50, Reply)

oyster card, receipt for a train ticket,
2 debit cards, nectar card, waterstones card, a toe nail, a dollar, and my name badge from a conference 2 weeks ago.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 2 Aug 2012, 9:29, Reply)

Dear Sir
I feel that I best suited to the role of Your Favourite for the following reasons:

1) I am not creepy, neither am I a midget nor indeed stalky
2) My pronouncements on the merits (or otherwise) of musical performance, films, television and news items are without exception correct and filled with otherworldly wisdom
3) Oh go on PLEEZ I'll buy you a present

Yours faithfully

Rt Hon. Montgomery Peregrine St John Boyce
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 2 Aug 2012, 8:45, Reply)

Can I just be your favourite again?
You admire my swift wit, unerring command of language and suave way with the ladies.

Go on Winders, plz.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 2 Aug 2012, 8:50, Reply)

no.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 2 Aug 2012, 9:31, Reply)