2 hours and 15 mins til hometime
if you could be doing anything right now (except for anyone's mum), what would it be?

alt: this is my 3rd day with no diet coke. it's going better than i thought, in that i haven't killed anyone yet. what should you really give up?

altalt: what was the last word you said aloud? why?

altaltalt: so from tomorrow it will be a criminal offence to squat in a resi property. punishable by up to a year in prison and £5,000. thoughts?

i predict monty's: a year with a free roof over their heads and none of them will have £5 never mind £5,000, so why bother...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:16, 63 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Playing with my kid in a sunny park.
Alt: hahahahahahah

Altalt: 'cunts'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:17, Reply)

haha i should have asked "why" for the altalt..

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:20, Reply)

Three of my staff all signed off a load stuff we shipped at vast expense to Hong Kong.
It's 75% the wrong stuff and the dozy fucking spastics didn't notice. The customer paid us £840 in carriage. As I say, 'cunts'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:23, Reply)

how did they not notice?
inept
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:30, Reply)

Because they are cunts.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:48, Reply)

i think you should cancel all their holidays

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:49, Reply)

I think I may cancel their JOBS.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:58, Reply)

i concur

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 16:03, Reply)

I'm impressed
I've tried giving up diet coke before but I've only ever lasted 2 days - I got evil headaches and refused to power through! :(

Altalt: Frimpong
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:18, Reply)

i am doing a ridiculous 500 cal a day diet for a month and it's banned because citric acid kicks you out of ketosis
this is the only thing that has motivated me to give it up. every single other attempt (ie every single new years day) has lasted about 1 hour...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:20, Reply)

Aww that sounds hard going!
500 cal is not a lot, what on earth are you eating?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:22, Reply)

ugh, shakes and soups
the first few days suck, hence the beakering, but by tomorrow i will hopefully be on a happy ketosis high!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:23, Reply)

Blimey!
Well good luck to you, I have 0% staying power when it comes to diets and stuff so I'm impressed when anyone sticks with it.

I have to start doing something this month in prep for holiday-beach-shame so I might find a gym to join - hurumph
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:25, Reply)

me too normally
but this is so expensive that i can't bring myself to cheat. it also stops me going shopping. except for shoes. and make-up. hmmm.

gym is a much better way to do it. if i could pull it off, i'd say "you go girl"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:29, Reply)

Haha if it's costing you monies then that's good incentive to carry on,
or bail and spend all the cash on Roast Beef flavoured Monster Munch... then shoes or a tote bag for all the crisps! :)

Oooh *does the crazy finger snap thing* I will, I will go girl! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:34, Reply)

roast beef monster munch dipped in houmous
(preferably pesto topped houmous) is the kind of shit that the ancient greek gods used to eat. mmmmmm.

you did it better than me. i cannot get the head thing right. sad times.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:36, Reply)

I love monster munch
They're just so damn tasty!

Haha I have perfected the art of the wobble-head.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:41, Reply)

esp the roast beef ones
anyone who goes on about pickled onion is a filthy heathen

i need a litre of vodka, then i can wobble my head perfectly
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:44, Reply)

Haha
I do like pickled onion, but I can only eat 1 normal sized bag before I feel a bit sick. Whereas I could easily polish off one of those giant bags of the roast beef ones and hunger for more - nom.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:47, Reply)

oh i have just remembered the flaming hot ones
hmmmm.

i would like half those and half roast beef, please.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:49, Reply)

Or dead

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:26, Reply)

i would so haunt you

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:29, Reply)

Is that the one that makes your breath smell like a dead tramp's anus?
More than normal, I mean.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:40, Reply)

it does with some people
i didn't find that last time, no. which i was pleased about, but also the huge amounts of cash i spent on breath fresheners and tongue scrapers annoyed me.

i think it's more an atkins thing, because of all the meat, maybe?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:42, Reply)

You
Alt: Pandering

AltAlt: "I'm going to catch hell for this" (under my breath)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:19, Reply)

hell for this" (under my breath) AIDS, what with my reckless gay sexploits
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:22, Reply)

Drinking beer in the pub
Alt:
Drinking beer in the pub

AltAlt:
Maltesers

AltAltAlt:
They should fuck off out of people's properties
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:27, Reply)

This^^
except I am drinking beer in the pub, and the last word I said out loud was "Oh."
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:30, Reply)

I'm chilling in the park at the mo, nothinh much.
Alt, booze, definitely.
Alt alt, "today". part of "It's out the freezer, they have to cook it today". Riveting stuff to be sure.
Alt alt alt, none really. I've squatted in the past, luckily it was only civil law then.
Don't pick on Monty, he's special.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:33, Reply)

Having sex while scuba diving the antartic under the ice in a cave with disco lights.
Why are you even giving up diet coke? a can a day isn't exactly exgravigent or bad for you.
I think it was "you" saying "Thank you" to my Ma' for taking me down PC world this morning so I can fix my laptop.
Good, I fucking hate squaters, they're scum, proper scum.

On the radio yesterday it said some masionary fell on a women's head in mayfair, I hope that costs someone a _lot_ of money. I thought it was proper horrific 'cus it could happen to anyone at any time in pretty much any urban enviroment.

I'm getting thai food tonight 'cus I well fancy it and wanted some for like two weeks now. I'm gonna get this crispy tofu stuff and prawn pad thai and thai crackers.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:35, Reply)

the pad thai -v- thai curry debate is a difficult one, up there with pizza-v-pasta
best to get both i reckon
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:37, Reply)

How the hell is it possible that you're out there on the market, with such great ideas?
Coconut rice you say? next morning you say? Ohhh 'swipe, you do say such sweat words.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 16:12, Reply)

Reheating rice you say? With a digestive system illness?
Sounds like a winner.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 16:18, Reply)

Masturbating
This answer serves for all the questions.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:39, Reply)

Anyway why have you given it up?
Because of all the crap in it?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:40, Reply)

because of the diet
but giving up DC was a big part of doing the diet. if i can do 1-2 months without any, i will hopefully cut down a LOT. i prob drink about 2 cans a day (i only ever drink half a can then bin it), sometimes 3, so def too much.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:41, Reply)

Oh yeah I remember the diet.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:43, Reply)

i expect i will be hunting you down and butchering you like a hog
so i can sell off your spare parts for diet coke tomorrow
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:45, Reply)

sell off your spare parts for diet coke tomorrow finally eat meat.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:54, Reply)

oh dear god no
meat is vile
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:57, Reply)

And I suspect you wouldn't get the highest quality from Bear Pookie

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 16:06, Reply)

well I've just got in and it's almost 1am.
Much more mellow night out this time.
So I think if I could do anything, and I will, it'll be to snuggle into my bed, stick on some friends, and fall asleep to canned laughter.

alt: chocolate. and bread. And pasta. Namely because all these things have stuff in them that I seem to be becoming more and more sensitive to, and I don't like being sick from food.

altalt: BYE!
alalalala? wha?
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:51, Reply)

what would you do if you HAD to give up chocolate or cheese?
rice or pasta?

bread or potatoes?

meat or fish?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:57, Reply)

Well I don't eat meat OR fish. so that's fine.
Cheese is okay in small amounts, rice is fine, potatoes are pretty versatile....
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 15:59, Reply)

cheese is the meaning of life

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 16:03, Reply)

I concur
It's gouda :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 31 Aug 2012, 16:07, Reply)

I'd like to be sipping a beer,
on a bar overlooking the sea, with some rock and roll playing, and the knowledge that I have no responsibility to do anything whatsoever with my evening.

Alt: If you are impressed that you can go 3 days without something, then i would say you probably have problems, or are a disgusting addict. I don't think there is anything I ought to give up, my doctor would disagree, but fuck him, he's probably a paedophile.

altalt: Bye

altaltalt: About fucking time.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 16:10, Reply)

altaltalt: If property owners took more care and responsibility for their premises' security, they wouldn't have to worry about squatters in the first place.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 16:10, Reply)

They are clever buggers,
and can break and enter without it looking like it. The buggers got me, luckily they settle for £20 each and a cup of tea to leave.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 16:12, Reply)

Silly Windy, those were your parents

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 16:17, Reply)

With respect, that's complete nonsense.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 16:44, Reply)

show your working

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 16:46, Reply)

My brother was a squatter for ten years.
It's a subject I am something of an expert on.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 16:47, Reply)

if this is the sort of evidence you're going to use in court,
I might lend you the cash for a lawyer.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 Aug 2012, 16:55, Reply)

the squatters are pretty well-organised about it all
they have websites where you can share details of nice houses that might be empty and download "legal" notices and all-sorts.

one of my clients had the misfortune to own the building next door to the "squatters advisory service" in london. it came vacant. i think we had 3 sets of applications to tip people out before we could sell it, and that was with every precaution you could think of, even security.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 16:58, Reply)

Strange finishing time 5:31pm.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 16:27, Reply)

Oh Jeffrey.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 16:30, Reply)

^^ oh a thousand times this ^^

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 16:38, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQZmFgfchwM
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 16:42, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 16:47, Reply)

Sitting in the back garden
With a large joint and a beer.

Alt: I've already given up smoking weed, I'm not giving up beer or sitting in the garden.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 16:32, Reply)

I'd like to be chilling in the sunshine with a nice cold beer
Shame it probably won't happen again this year.

Alt: Booze, probably.

AltAlt: Cunt.

AltAltAlt: Fuck em.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 16:40, Reply)

I'd like to stroke a ray

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 16:49, Reply)

Charles?
He's pretty easy to sneak up on.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 16:56, Reply)

No he's not
Haven't you seen Blues Brothers?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 17:29, Reply)

drinking
Straight up
nothing other than that, just an awesome day full of partying like a mother fucken rockstar
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 16:53, Reply)

I'm quite happy right now
Hair do looking good. Just need a different face, now. I suppose I would like to be out being all sophisticated or something. Preferably with wine

altalt: "Evening, gentlemen." It's how I greet the guinea pigs on returning home. I am not mad
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 31 Aug 2012, 17:51, Reply)