fat.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 3 Sep 2012, 10:57, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

Pah, fuck that
I'd rather enjoy food for the rest of my life than be skinny and miserable.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 10:58, Reply)

speaking of skinny and miserable
fancy some gossip?
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 10:58, Reply)

Boy, do I!
dish!
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 10:59, Reply)

Did you just hit a cymbal?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:03, Reply)

I'm always hitting something or other
The law of averages says that occasionally a cymbal will get in the way
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:06, Reply)

right well
joe and kev hired a new telesales girl for our new company last month, Allison.

Allison's skin-ny-as-fuck and got a bit of a rat face, BUT Malc fancied the pants off her. Right?
Well, Malc flirted with her outrageously for the couple of weeks she was here, despite the fact she has a boyfriend, is a recent divorcee, and malc's got a girlfriend too. Right?

So anyway, malc ramped up his charm offensive, sent her some flirtatious texts and whatnot, there's even a little love note on the whiteboard next to her desk with TWO kisses on it. Right?

Except Allison hasn't been into work since. She's booked off 4 weeks sick due to 'anxiety', totally fucked us over because she was our first new employee.

Turns out her boyfriend saw the texts, fucked her shit RIGHT UP, and won't let her back to work. Ummmmmmmmm!
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:06, Reply)

Woah, seriously?
That's pretty mental
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:07, Reply)

indeed it is
we don't know if anything more than flirting happened, but they both stayed late in the office when everyone else was gone, and there was a sticky patch on the corner of my desk.

ok, the sticky patch was from my choux bun, but still
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:10, Reply)

Choux buns make me moist
Just sayin'
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:11, Reply)

i pretended i was a tiny man eating a giant profiterole
it was the best day of my entire life
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:13, Reply)

I'd give Malc a right bollocking for that shit right there.
Or make him pay her 4 weeks wages.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:08, Reply)

malc's kind of not really an intern, he doesn't make money, we just cover his expenses
he won't be coming over to the new company now
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:09, Reply)

Yeah, but it's proving that Malc is directly responsible, isn't it?
And even if the company got any kind of 'evidence' that he was to blame, he could contest it. But you're right...Malc's a prick, and needs to be taken down a peg or two.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:11, Reply)

fortunately, malcolm is not an employee

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:13, Reply)

Writing a love note on a whiteboard to another member of staff in an office
Would get you into shit here, probably formal disiplinary even if there wasn't a complaint.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:14, Reply)

Sure
Depends on the nature of the note, but fair enough.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:15, Reply)

something along the lines of it "not being the same here without her xx"

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:15, Reply)

I guess Malc's character adds to the whole thing
For instance, if another girl wrote that, it probably wouldn't have been treated so seriously.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:17, Reply)

we're not a very serious office, malc's not going to get a bollocking as he isn't staff
he's always been a naughty boy, and he knows now that because of his misbehaviour he's pissed us off and won't be getting a job next year.

Allison was ridiculous at telesales, she was pulling in 2-3 appointments per day, compared to most girls not geting that each week
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:19, Reply)

Ah well, hopefully he's realised what he's done and won't do it again
Feel sorry for the girl though.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:20, Reply)

me too, apparently she was in an abusive relationship before
so malc's just made her life much more difficult than it needed to be. Still, she encouraged it and is old enough to know better.

That fucking malc though, eh? what a prick, he's done similar with tracey, sasha and a girl at a company we do a lot of business with. i don't think he got anywhere with any of them, but still.
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:22, Reply)

it's like you are working in The Office!

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:25, Reply)

Unfortunately I have a good friend that (I believe) is a bit like Malc while at work
I'm amazed that he's still there. That being said, the girls he works with have a combined IQ of 46, so I don't think the phrase 'sexual harrassment' would ever occur to them. Doesn't make it ok of course.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:25, Reply)

oh Baldmonkey.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:52, Reply)

Pfft
I said "work"
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:54, Reply)

Amen.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:01, Reply)

I do enjoy food
If I fast for two days a week I can eat like a fucking pig the rest of the time. That's the dream, baby.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:04, Reply)

Sensible

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:06, Reply)

How do you fast?
and don't just say "don't eat"
(PsychoChomp, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:08, Reply)

a day with 600 calories for men
weetabix in the morning, apple for lunch, chicken breast and peas this evening for me. Lots of water.

To be honest I don't know if I can hack it, but it seems worth a try given the benefits. www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-19112549
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:12, Reply)

That is the biggest most spastic lump of utter fucking shite since Racelswipe last wrote on this board.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:18, Reply)

Yeah, those scientists, eh? What do they know?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:20, Reply)

I must agree with Mr Badger here.
What a stupid way to eat.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:21, Reply)

What's wrong with smaller portions and no snacks?
And, you know...a bit of exercise? Even a brisk 30 minute stroll every day will make a difference over time.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:22, Reply)

Exercise? Smaller portions, and cut down on snacking?
My God, you'll be advocating limiting the Doners and Curly Wurlies next.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:23, Reply)

Look, I'm not saying it's not radical
But it's worth a try, right?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:24, Reply)

Well, in the case of what you're trying, absolutely fuck all since they've not done any trials whatsoever
the 5:2 idea is entirely based on conjecture with no evidence to support it.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:22, Reply)

Also, that is almost to the letter a perfect example of a "science" article that contains no fucking science at all
Where is the evidence of peer reviewed published articles? There is only one "scientist" mentioned and no details of how they are qualified, the article starts by talking about fasting then immediately jumps to talking about growth hormone.

Seriously, it couldn't be more wishy washy if it was written by Gillian McKeith in a fucking laundry.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:24, Reply)

Whenever The Sun publishes "scientific" stuff,
it's always "boffins" who come up with the facts. This sounds on a par with that nonsense.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:27, Reply)

Hi Doctor Nick!
Y'know, from that programme.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:29, Reply)

it's not exactly clear cut,
there are some hilarious inconsistencies between studies that should be quite similar. Many of the early studies of mice and primates frequently used to justify this compared calorie restricted animals to animals free to eat as much feed as possible rather than a set higher number of calories, and those feeds were garbage as they assumed calories ar calories whatever is in there.

I wouldn't base my life around something on the bbc website, considering how many other science articles on there are just nonsense
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:29, Reply)

Meh
I can certainly benefit from being more aware of what I eat. I'm giving it a go, I shall see what it does for me.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:37, Reply)

I guess you could do it as LARP diet and go to asda once a week wearing only a dirty loin cloth and a spear

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:43, Reply)

Asda? You pleb
I do my hunter-gathering in Sainsburys.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:49, Reply)

waitrose right here
fuck you
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:54, Reply)

£81 on a week's food shopping this weekend
i live alone.

fuck you.
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:55, Reply)

I walk to and from work
so usually pop in for about £15 worth two or three times a week on the way home. Never got the hang of the "weekly shop".

I know someone who does a big cook on a Sunday and a Wednesday their meals for the entire week as that way they can e.g. cook a load of mince and then make chili and bolognese and curry without having a pack of greying meat sitting in the fridge. Way too organised for me though.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 3 Sep 2012, 11:58, Reply)