So the new strategy for growth which will definitely work this time
is that the government will lift planning restrictions so you can do anything you like to your house, and developers which have been sitting on huge land banks for years and years will suddenly realise that now is the time to start the projects that they've been putting off for ages.

So it clearly won't work.

When did you last build something? Tell me about it.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:39, 100 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

So everybody will suddenly find the money
to buy all these new properties because the Government says you can build whatever you want? Is that about the gist of it?
( Kroney, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:41, Reply)

I want chocolate.

( Kroney, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:41, Reply)

chocolate cock.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:43, Reply)

makes life easier for bond villans.
no need to buy an island now.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:43, Reply)

My shed.
8' x 6' tongue & groove, fitted with a wooden racking system and workbench, both designed & built by me. Electricity will be added in the next few weeks.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:41, Reply)

I hope it says thank you, but you forget it did and then subject it to loads of abuse only to have your face rubbed in it when it shows that it did in fact say thanks.


I was going to let that one go wasn't I.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:43, Reply)

Heh.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:43, Reply)

I heard you love a bit of tongue and groove.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:53, Reply)

Oh yes indeed.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:05, Reply)

we should fuck up more of the countryside.
concrete is way easier to look after.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:42, Reply)

That's teh other great plan
You can build on the greenbelt, as long as you can identify some other bits of land outside the green belt to make up for the bit you're building on.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:43, Reply)

it's a smashing plan. like giving mother nature a tattoo.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:44, Reply)

"There's a field over there, look"
*paves paradise*
( Kroney, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:45, Reply)

*something something parking lot*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:00, Reply)

I'm gonna build a mittal orbiter on the roof of my flat

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:43, Reply)

i used to build jumps in our garden for show jumping
but as i was never allowed a pony - apparently riding lessons made me spoiled enough - my friends and i used to jump fake horses over them. poor deprived children that we were. i think that may have been the last time i lifted a brick.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:44, Reply)

that's pretty sad swipey.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:45, Reply)

i know, right?
my friend nicola had a real pony called bailey, and he could swig bud straight from the bottle. how unfair is that?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:04, Reply)

That's wildly unfair.
There is no possible way anybody could ever accuse you of appearing spoiled. I fully expect you were the humblest of all the humble children.
( Kroney, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:46, Reply)

I bet when other kids preteneded to have a sweet shop, she used to set up a branch of harrods in the front room

(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:47, Reply)

I used to make car parks with my matchbox cars.
I expect she had a fully functioning scale model of Monaco's fucking harbour.
( Kroney, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:50, Reply)

I reckon she noshed off horses.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:56, Reply)

Best of all the blowjobs

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:57, Reply)

Very satisfying.
Quaffing down that rich creamy horse ejaculate.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:00, Reply)

you've got rich creamy horse ejaculate all over your face

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:05, Reply)

WRITTEN all over your face. Tsk.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:16, Reply)

oh how i missed you

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:59, Reply)

THANKS

( Kroney, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:01, Reply)

Can I touch your ass?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:01, Reply)

kroney, i think he's talking to you

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:03, Reply)

Been there. Done that.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:04, Reply)

is it as good as he claims?
or was that just LIES ON THE INTERNET?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:05, Reply)

Well played.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:06, Reply)

which front room, darling?
the morning room, the drawing room, the library, the gentleman's smoking room or the ballroom on the first floor (that we haven't used since about 1820) - they're all at the front.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:01, Reply)

I feel so bad right now that I could cry...
... I didn't feel well yesterday, had a pretty bad last 24 hours, so yesterday I worked from home, but I was so rough that I didn't get much work done. And now I've got an email today saying monday's deadline is actually due at 3:30 today and it was extremely tight with me working all weekend normally, let alone it being moved from the 10th to today at 3:30. I think whats happen is that deadline includes review-time by the client but if I knew that I would have said "Guys, there is no way thats possible". And now I'm all panicy and I still feel rough from yesterday but far worst today.

OH WOE IS ME
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:45, Reply)

ask for an extention to the deadline.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:46, Reply)

Yup, thats what I'm gonna have to do, I'm waiting for my manager to get back to his desk and will call him.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:49, Reply)

no point stressing g-dizzle, have a choccie biccie and calm the fuck down.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:50, Reply)

Add some more opiates, everything will seem better and fuzzier
Like a seventies fanny
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:47, Reply)

Click for imagery

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:50, Reply)

You rang?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:03, Reply)

Ha ha.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:06, Reply)

I liked this and I clicked.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:24, Reply)

RAGE
Today I am building RAGE by the hour
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:46, Reply)

*throws mug*
AAaaaAAaaaAAaAAaAAArgh
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:47, Reply)

Have you bought your house yet?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:47, Reply)

Still waiting for part-ex valuations

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:50, Reply)

that's a good solid way of losing money

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:55, Reply)

Hence the wait
We have also put it on the market
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:57, Reply)

Hulkcow MAAAAAD!!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:49, Reply)

Hulkcow SMASH

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:50, Reply)

Hulkcow REALISES THE FUTILITY OF VANDALISM
has bacon roll instead
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:08, Reply)

Done already before work

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:13, Reply)

The best thing to say to somebody seething with rage?
"Cheer up mate, it might never happen".
( Kroney, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:52, Reply)

Calm down also works well

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:53, Reply)

Planning regulations will always be a ballache, even when they're supposedly 'simplified'
I'm always building stuff, I'm well cool
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:51, Reply)

Also, what's the point in temporarily relaxing them?
If people build bigger extensions, say, then that sets the standard for what's Ok in the immediate area?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:55, Reply)

The answer is, there is no point in relaxing them
it gives that useless cunt somethng spout off about on the news like he's actually got a plan, but it means nothing and will do nothing.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 10:59, Reply)

That's a very cynical attitude.
Did you vote at the last general election?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:02, Reply)

He sounds like a man who's always extolled the virtue of voting for the least bad candidate
becuase otherwise you're just voting for the incumbent, only then to find out that the guy he's voted for is an even more pathetic, greasy shitbag than the guy he replaced.

You know, call me a cynic.
( Kroney, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:04, Reply)

You sound like a man who can't get a girlfriend for love nor money.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:06, Reply)

ah al
i thought you were a man who was down with the gossip
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:07, Reply)

There is gossip?
Do tell.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:08, Reply)

He bought a Slovenian retard for £9.99
They're marrying next Friday.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:17, Reply)

Bit mean.
She's a lovely, friendly girl. Always smiling.
( Kroney, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:21, Reply)

Looks constantly surprised? :-0

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:23, Reply)

smiling dribbling
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:23, Reply)

It's not a cynical attitude, it's looking at the problem from a realistic point of view. Companies aren't not building houses because they have problems getting planning
they have planning permission for huge numbers of houses, they aren't building them because there is no demand because nobody has the money to buy a house.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:05, Reply)

I read this as 'Peter Storm brand, £29.99 but the water does still come through a bit'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:08, Reply)

I read this as "I have no money because of my own incompetance"

(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:09, Reply)

No
Amongst other considerations there's the mass of the existing building, and allowances already in place under the GPDO. Crying through blubbery tears and pointing at what your neighbour has in years to come aint gonna work. See all teh horrendous 60's and 70's extensions thrown up as carbuncles on listed buildings
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:07, Reply)

I built a spliff last night man, innit.
Unfortunately I am potless in both senses so this isn't even true :o(

Making up drug lies on the internet. Oh Monty, how did things come to this?

I found out last night that my ex has had one of her benefits stopped. Whilst this is in some ways lol it is mainly bad news. She's been enough of a cunt about money as it is. This won't help.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:06, Reply)

This is the worst drugs lie ever

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:08, Reply)

have you tried man the fuck up and getting a proper job?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:08, Reply)

Yes.
Actually even if I got a job today with double my salary my creditors would get it all so it'd make zero day-to-day difference.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:08, Reply)

and how did that work out?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:09, Reply)

I got offered chairmanship of ICI
but I turned it down because I didn't like the chairs.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:10, Reply)

have you tried killing yourself and not being a whiney little prick?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:10, Reply)

I couldn't even do that right.
:o(((((((((((((
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:11, Reply)

fucking hell, no wonder she left you for battered.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:11, Reply)

What can I say, my mum's fickle like that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:12, Reply)

she must have a dwarf fetish.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:13, Reply)

Dopey

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:14, Reply)

haha! yeah and battered is prick.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:15, Reply)

They are shit
there is no lumber support.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:10, Reply)

That's what I told them.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:11, Reply)

For the lols
ls gs
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:14, Reply)

He had no money so he came to an agreement with his creditors

(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:10, Reply)

the creditors suggested he be a smelly tramp?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:11, Reply)

No - ha! That was my idea ACTUALLY.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:12, Reply)

well played.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:12, Reply)

Have you had your court thing yet?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:09, Reply)

Not yet: hoping to file my proposed amended court order within the next fortnight.
It's a slow business.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:10, Reply)

Best of luck with that.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:11, Reply)

Thank you

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:13, Reply)

Morning Monty.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:15, Reply)

It certainly is.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:15, Reply)

I buily a barbecue a few years ago, out of bricks. Took all day, but was worth it.
It had 2 different bays, so meat and vegis wouldn't mix, and different heights for the grill. It was ace.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:14, Reply)

We'll never see the likes of those days again.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:19, Reply)

you must have felt so stoopid when it melted

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 11:19, Reply)