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This is a question Off Topic

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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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So, got anything you want to share with the group?
Anything at all, just go for it.

alt: I have been writing a specialist round about cats, cats are shit, except the aristocats, and Stray Cats, and Cat Stevens. What's your favourite cat?
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 18 Sep 2012, 15:45, 147 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
AIDS

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 15:48, Reply)
Oh no! Terrible news
The girl with the nicest bottom in Slough, who just so happens to sit next to me in the office, is leaving. Never again will those two pert globes make their way across my eyeline in perfect harmony. I'm gutted, sad times.

And before you chumps start saying that the bar isn't set very high. I would say that it is at least regional if not national levels of bottyness.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 15:53, Reply)
Hire Kroney, he's obviously shit at IT due to him breaking 2000 internets
but he does have a nice arse and he is in Slough.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 15:54, Reply)
I didn't break it :(

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 15:55, Reply)
Yeah, that excuse may work if one or two sites went down.
But if 2000, went down who else is to blame apart from central IT.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 15:56, Reply)
Probably the global lot.
They look after all the central network gubbinry.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 15:57, Reply)
It's this sort of buck passing and vague replies that makes IT professionals the most loved people in an office.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 15:57, Reply)
I'm UK support.
The head sits in the central data cluster. The central data cluster is supported by the global lot.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 15:59, Reply)
"before I fix anything I'll just explain the managment structure of the entire IT deptment"
You sound JUST like our IT deptment.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:17, Reply)
No one cares, just fix it IT monkey

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:18, Reply)
I hate users.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:19, Reply)
Spoken like a true IT monkey.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:21, Reply)
God I hate them, with their BO, massive bags of Cheetos, neck beards, snorting laughter and wacky tshirts

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:28, Reply)
HEY
I don't have any wacky tshirts :(
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:29, Reply)
Sorry 'Dungeons and Dragons' t shirts

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:34, Reply)
I'm 0 from 6 on this
IT FAIL
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:34, Reply)
We know about your IT FAIL already!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:39, Reply)
His arse may be nice now, but its bound to be heading South soon.
Also, being french, he has a hairy crack.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:00, Reply)
It's true.
The Black Forest is less dense.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:02, Reply)
I'm gateaux-ed at this

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:06, Reply)
Do *you* have a BL car, Windy?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 15:53, Reply)
I KNEW it

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 15:54, Reply)
yes

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 18 Sep 2012, 15:55, Reply)
Damn it.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 15:56, Reply)
Kroney is a fucking racist
CONSTANTLY getting you and me mixed up. I'm going to speak to my solicitor.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 15:57, Reply)
i dunno,
i can't think of anyone else i'd rather be.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 18 Sep 2012, 15:59, Reply)
I've never loved you more
still calling my solicitor though.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:00, Reply)
Can't you just get an old BL motor too?
Then I wouldn't be racist as you'd both have them :)
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:02, Reply)
Well maybe, we'll see

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:05, Reply)
If you could get a pub and a bald head too, that'd be smashing.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:08, Reply)
ugh

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:10, Reply)
I'm just trying to make this easy on all of us.
Except you. But then you are the one causing the problem, so...
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:16, Reply)
This is an outrage

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:20, Reply)
You're really not being much of a team player, Windy.
You need some attitude realignment.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:25, Reply)
Where does it end, Windy?
Where does it all end?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 15:54, Reply)
Land's end.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:01, Reply)
Well that's where Cornwall ends, sure
But what about it. How does it all end?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:02, Reply)
Not well, I fear.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:05, Reply)
I suspected as much
Cats are ridiculous, aren't they? I mean, I was pretty sure they used to be. Why do people like them so much?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:06, Reply)
I prefer dogs
You can control a dog. A cat controls you.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:08, Reply)
I also hate dogs
I never know what they're thinking
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:09, Reply)
Confuscius say, "In life, it is better to be like a dog"
"If it cannot be eaten, drunk, or fucked, then piss on it."
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:11, Reply)
Confucius he say 'why can no cunt spell my fucking name?'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:21, Reply)
Should have had an easier name
like Fred, or something.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:25, Reply)
The letter t?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:02, Reply)
You and I are going to fall out, sunshine

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:04, Reply)
somewhere near the finnish

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:02, Reply)
Really? Did you read that somewhere?
Because that seems quite likely
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:05, Reply)
bible says so

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:06, Reply)
Do you believe in rock and roll?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:08, Reply)
but i like it

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:10, Reply)
My favourite cat is Jon Spencer's first band Pussy Galore.
Their first LP 'Sugarshit Sharp' was an 80s must-have round my house.

Other than that, I'm gonna say the Catovellauni, a pre-Roman British tribe from the South East. I am saying this because I am a very, very bored prick.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:03, Reply)
I heard a band the other night called Knickers,
and their album was called Knackers Knockers.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:06, Reply)
My cousin and I once formed a band called Cracker
Mainly so that we could release a Christmas album and call it "Christmas Cracker". It never happened.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:07, Reply)
You and your cousin sound like right cards!
CHRISTMAS CARDS, DO YOU SEE?????
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:18, Reply)
OH!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:20, Reply)

cards puddings



etc
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:23, Reply)
Alt: KitKat chunky

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:04, Reply)
Cats are awesome, you gay.
My favourite cat is the Serval.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:05, Reply)
You like cats because in your native tongue they are 'chat'
Said out loud that sounds like 'shat'. You are a space docking FREAK so that appeals to you.

NO MORE QUESTIONS, YOUR HONOUR.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:07, Reply)
That is an extraordinary example
of logical thinking, right there.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:08, Reply)
NO MORE QUESTIONS ATM

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:09, Reply)
Arse to mouth?
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:09, Reply)
ATM
At The Moment
Ass To Mouth

It's a joke, you see
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:13, Reply)
Yes, do you know I believe I do?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:19, Reply)
AUTOMATED TELLING MACHINE

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:10, Reply)
+machine

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:23, Reply)
tautology lulz

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:28, Reply)
Scottish Fold, cos I've only just found out they exist.
Again.
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:08, Reply)
You wouldn't happen to know why this block cancel completed successfully but didn't cancel anything, would you?
It's been doing my nut in all day.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:15, Reply)
I do but I'm afraid I'm not allowed to tell you. Soz.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:22, Reply)
I shall point Goldman Sachs in your direction the next time they phone up about it then

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 17:05, Reply)
gremlins
In other news, it has just fucking belted down with hailstones and thundered for about two mins with a completely blue sky, then stopped.
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:23, Reply)
Ballroom Dancing
Glitter
Cock
Comics
Battlestar Gallactica
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:23, Reply)
Darth?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:23, Reply)
Yeah I'm trying to summon him.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:24, Reply)
He doesn't appear to be on here very often these days

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:24, Reply)
Prick,
I want to find a nice place to have lunch in Norwich on Friday.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:25, Reply)
I'm sure this was where I ate
www.lamthai.co.uk/

DISCLAIMER:
About 6 years ago
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:28, Reply)
Already eaten there.
Pretty good, but want to try somewhere new.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:30, Reply)
Text-a-bender

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:32, Reply)
Phone-a-homo

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:33, Reply)
ETs lesser known follow up movie

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:34, Reply)
*lights brown finger*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:35, Reply)
You should shove that up Gonz

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:46, Reply)
That's great, thanks so much.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:24, Reply)
Aye up ! I saw a Japanese Shebu dog yesterday that I got to give a little stroke, sorted me right out that did.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:30, Reply)
Woop!
How are the guts?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:32, Reply)
Hey Gonz.
Glad to see you're still dogging.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:45, Reply)

I do not feel prepared for my final year at Uni. However my lead lecturer is still a milf.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:35, Reply)
Maybe less spliffs, war hammer marathons and neck beard styling would give you more time to prepare
Hth xx
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:45, Reply)
not helping.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:46, Reply)
Hey bobs.
Be nice to nakers will you, then I won't have to choose between you (you'd win)
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:46, Reply)
I dont even know why he hates me CQ
It's the not knowing that's the worst
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:48, Reply)
He said something about my jib
I think he means to nonce me :(
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:50, Reply)
possibly posts like this:
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1731335
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:50, Reply)
That's good advice!!
I've done uni I know how hard it can be to concentrate, he needs to knuckle down for the year, consolidate his loans and burn his banana man pyjamas
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:54, Reply)
I've uni, too

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:55, Reply)
You own a university?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:57, Reply)
The Sor-fucking-bonne, no less.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 17:01, Reply)
Tricksy ninja cunt

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 17:02, Reply)
Chill out 'Gollum'

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 17:05, Reply)
I'm just glad I went before Chompy's race of hyper-intelligent super-kids were around.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:58, Reply)
I secretly like shit processed cheese.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:37, Reply)

It aint a student bbq without shit cheese
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:38, Reply)
Salisburys Savers Full Flavour Cheddar is surprisingly nice.
I feel dirty for liking it though.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:47, Reply)
Fucking hell

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:49, Reply)
your nob must be awfully hot!

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:49, Reply)
I GET THIS JOKE!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:56, Reply)
awesum

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:56, Reply)
Best of all the excel formulas

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:58, Reply)
Where's chomp to lol at my joke?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 17:01, Reply)
Killed himself.
He told me to tell you it was your fault with that shit, shit 'joke'.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 17:02, Reply)
I'll gaz swipes the good news

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 17:06, Reply)
I'm not feeling great today Q.
Tell me something funny about kerrazy kev or tricky or someone please.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:56, Reply)
tricky's leaving today! woo!
fired the fucker for using malc's personal email!!!!!
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 17:01, Reply)
Oh result.
Who's next for the chop? Hopefully that wanker Kev, right?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 17:02, Reply)
Kev's a fucking MD, how are we supposed to give him the shove?
he was talking to this guy james from the takeover company earlier,a nd the two of them were spouting the filthiest most racist stuff i've ever heard.

good ol' kev
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 17:03, Reply)
Oh shit, that could be hard.
Tell everyone he's been trying to push drugs in the office? Racist drugs?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 17:04, Reply)
could i buy some off you to plant on him?
calss As, whizzers or fizzpops would be best
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 17:05, Reply)
No probz
I'll even turn up at your office looking well dodge and asking of Kev's got any 'shit' if you like.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 17:06, Reply)
WKD!
Kev's the one that looks like phil collins, come on over baby!
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 17:07, Reply)
C U IN 20!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 17:13, Reply)
Fuck you tricky you can take your underground trip hop and shove up your cocknend

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 17:03, Reply)
Well it is
But that's more likely to be a urinary infection
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 16:58, Reply)
which one?

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 18 Sep 2012, 17:02, Reply)

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