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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I've just got to write a conclusion and my Bollocks Essay is, barring references DONE.
Other than MM, what have you nearly done?
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 12:45, 143 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
I've just got to write a conclusion and my Bollocks Essay is, barring references DONE.
Other than MM, what have you nearly done?
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 12:45, 143 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
Applied for another job.
I've just got the 'why I'm the person for the job bit' to do. So, naturally, I'm dicking around on the internet.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 12:47, Reply)
I've just got the 'why I'm the person for the job bit' to do. So, naturally, I'm dicking around on the internet.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 12:47, Reply)
It's for the best, you'd spend all day tripping over rucksacks and bad hip hop CDs
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 12:56, Reply)
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 12:56, Reply)
I've also nearly done the laundry; it's just gone onto its spin cycle.
Unfortunately I appear to have been locked in this morning so I can't hang it out until the wife gets back. First world problems, right here!
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 12:51, Reply)
Unfortunately I appear to have been locked in this morning so I can't hang it out until the wife gets back. First world problems, right here!
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 12:51, Reply)
OK, so some doors are lockable, right?
If you turn the key the opposite way than you do to open the door, then it engages the lock. Unless you have a key to hand, you can't open the door again. There are even rumours of a "dead-lock". Usually this involves turning the key so as to lock the door, then carrying on until you've gone through a full revolution. This engages a second lock, which you will require a key to open.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 12:59, Reply)
If you turn the key the opposite way than you do to open the door, then it engages the lock. Unless you have a key to hand, you can't open the door again. There are even rumours of a "dead-lock". Usually this involves turning the key so as to lock the door, then carrying on until you've gone through a full revolution. This engages a second lock, which you will require a key to open.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 12:59, Reply)
Because the missus has gone to work in the car, taking the keyring with my keys on it
as well as her bag with her keys in it. Stepson has gone to college not long afterwards, and has evidently locked the door. Which is good security, granted, but I WAS IN THE FUCKING HOUSE ANYWAY!!!
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:00, Reply)
as well as her bag with her keys in it. Stepson has gone to college not long afterwards, and has evidently locked the door. Which is good security, granted, but I WAS IN THE FUCKING HOUSE ANYWAY!!!
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:00, Reply)
I thought bobs worth and Silvia-something were runaway favourites
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:08, Reply)
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:08, Reply)
.
www.oddschecker.com/horse-racing-betting/cheltenham/15:20/winner
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:11, Reply)
www.oddschecker.com/horse-racing-betting/cheltenham/15:20/winner
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:11, Reply)
I just got a text message asking me to pick up a steak and a bottle of red on the way home
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:09, Reply)
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:09, Reply)
They gave the internet to Americans and this is what they came up with
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:13, Reply)
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:13, Reply)
Misogynistic LADS kick back against Valentine's Day tradition
by attempting to ritually humiliate their glorious female partners.
/Greer
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:14, Reply)
by attempting to ritually humiliate their glorious female partners.
/Greer
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:14, Reply)
Exactly one month after valentines day has been declared as steak and blowjob day.
I've also just realised it's the 11th anniversary of me meeting the missus.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:14, Reply)
I've also just realised it's the 11th anniversary of me meeting the missus.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:14, Reply)
Some yank pricks
Thought that since valentines day is targeted towards men getting gifts for women they would invent a male version 1 month after.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:14, Reply)
Thought that since valentines day is targeted towards men getting gifts for women they would invent a male version 1 month after.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:14, Reply)
^ And there are five men whose partners have refused to acknowledge this calendar non-event
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:16, Reply)
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:16, Reply)
When you look like me
you are happy that a woman will occasionally touch your winky... Best not to push your luck
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:18, Reply)
you are happy that a woman will occasionally touch your winky... Best not to push your luck
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:18, Reply)
every day is steak and bj day for frog
the lucky, lucky amphibious beast
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:27, Reply)
the lucky, lucky amphibious beast
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:27, Reply)
just make sure your asset allocation is aligned with your attitude to risk, yeah?
And Hedge Funds are inappropriate for all but highly sophisticated investors with a large capacity for loss.
JSYK
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:33, Reply)
And Hedge Funds are inappropriate for all but highly sophisticated investors with a large capacity for loss.
JSYK
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:33, Reply)
I did and those words are very prudent in relation to investment.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:37, Reply)
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:37, Reply)
yeah, but not because people were interested in YOU
nobody cares what you do
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:58, Reply)
nobody cares what you do
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:58, Reply)
I believe the medical profession terms it "functioning alcoholic"
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:56, Reply)
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:56, Reply)
Yep, that fits with the signs and symptoms
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-functioning_alcoholic
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:58, Reply)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-functioning_alcoholic
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 13:58, Reply)
none of this is unusual
When they have one drink, they experience a craving to have more and cannot predict what their alcohol intake will be
They obsess about the next time they will be able to drink alcohol
They behave in ways that are not characteristic of themselves while drunk and continue to repeat these behaviors and patterns
Surround themselves socially with heavy drinkers
Getting drunk before arriving at social engagements
Setting drinking limits (e.g., only having three drinks, only drinking three days per week) and not being able to adhere to them
Driving drunk and not getting arrested or involved in an accident
Always having to finish an alcoholic beverage or even another person's unfinished beverage
Using alcohol as a reward
Having memory lapse due to excessive drinking (blackouts)
Taking breaks from drinking and then increasing alcohol consumption when they resume drinking after a long period of time
Not being able to imagine their life without alcohol in it
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 14:26, Reply)
When they have one drink, they experience a craving to have more and cannot predict what their alcohol intake will be
They obsess about the next time they will be able to drink alcohol
They behave in ways that are not characteristic of themselves while drunk and continue to repeat these behaviors and patterns
Surround themselves socially with heavy drinkers
Getting drunk before arriving at social engagements
Setting drinking limits (e.g., only having three drinks, only drinking three days per week) and not being able to adhere to them
Driving drunk and not getting arrested or involved in an accident
Always having to finish an alcoholic beverage or even another person's unfinished beverage
Using alcohol as a reward
Having memory lapse due to excessive drinking (blackouts)
Taking breaks from drinking and then increasing alcohol consumption when they resume drinking after a long period of time
Not being able to imagine their life without alcohol in it
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 14:26, Reply)
There was a man called naked ape
A spastic, angular of shape
He once took a punt
Touched a kid on the cunt
And committed lots of child rape.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 14:19, Reply)
A spastic, angular of shape
He once took a punt
Touched a kid on the cunt
And committed lots of child rape.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 14:19, Reply)
Yay for the pub.
I went to the pub and the knobbers were hassling me to buy a gold cup horse. I relented and then picked the fave. It's all coming up Team Stunned.
Back at 3.10 to watch the race and perhaps pick up some winnings.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 14:16, Reply)
I went to the pub and the knobbers were hassling me to buy a gold cup horse. I relented and then picked the fave. It's all coming up Team Stunned.
Back at 3.10 to watch the race and perhaps pick up some winnings.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 14:16, Reply)
Taking daughter and idiot dog to the pub, for the aGold Cup. Their crisp scrounging skills are those of legend.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 14:19, Reply)
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 14:19, Reply)
Why is it people feel the need to tell me their life stories?
:(
I don't care about the bloody ear infection that forced you to work from home. Just tell me what's broken.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 14:39, Reply)
:(
I don't care about the bloody ear infection that forced you to work from home. Just tell me what's broken.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 14:39, Reply)
I'm good at fixing things.
I've never pretended to like people. I have no idea whatsoever why somebody ringing me in a professional capacity would think I'd want to hear about their repugnant medical condition.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 15:00, Reply)
I've never pretended to like people. I have no idea whatsoever why somebody ringing me in a professional capacity would think I'd want to hear about their repugnant medical condition.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 15:00, Reply)
When I was a benefits monkey
we had a client called Suckchit Kaur.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 14:57, Reply)
we had a client called Suckchit Kaur.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 14:57, Reply)
Hahaha. Nice.
One of our IT monkeys is called Dikshit.
IT monkeys, they are well funny.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 15:02, Reply)
One of our IT monkeys is called Dikshit.
IT monkeys, they are well funny.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 15:02, Reply)
We had a Sandy Beaver working here a few years ago.
That caused many childish lols.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 15:04, Reply)
That caused many childish lols.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 15:04, Reply)
We had an American lecturer at uni called Randy Fleisch (pronounced 'Flesh' apparently)
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 15:28, Reply)
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 15:28, Reply)
Because he's a skiving malingerer with all the resilience of a quadriplegic toddler?
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 14:51, Reply)
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 14:51, Reply)
this^
Earache
Fucks sake. If you can work at home, you can work at work.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 14:55, Reply)
Earache
Fucks sake. If you can work at home, you can work at work.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 14:55, Reply)
not if you are masssive house whale that can't leave the house without the aid of the firebridgade and a JCB
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 15:01, Reply)
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 15:01, Reply)
Because she's a whiny old windbag.
She's one of my least favourite users.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 15:02, Reply)
She's one of my least favourite users.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 15:02, Reply)
Not true!
Most of them I merely dislike, some I'm ambivalent towards and one I actually really like. One out of twelve hundred ain't fucking bad.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 15:22, Reply)
Most of them I merely dislike, some I'm ambivalent towards and one I actually really like. One out of twelve hundred ain't fucking bad.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 15:22, Reply)
I'd have taken great pleasure in telling you you can't recall external emails.
I'd have relished it. You'd almost have been able to *hear* my hate-bongle bouncing off the underside of my desk.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 15:24, Reply)
I'd have relished it. You'd almost have been able to *hear* my hate-bongle bouncing off the underside of my desk.
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 15:24, Reply)
I got it all sorted withoutn too much fuss, thanks for you concern
dick
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 15:29, Reply)
dick
( , Fri 14 Mar 2014, 15:29, Reply)
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