Come on then!
Ahll fuggin knack the lorrer yaz

Tell me tales of your fights - be they physical or not
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:29, 205 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

You should punch jase for stomping you

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:30, Reply)

I'll punch you in a minute, Worzel.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:32, Reply)

Ooh yeah, everyone wants to hear the tale of me vs depression

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:30, Reply)

Yeah, go on then

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:30, Reply)

Catharsis

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:31, Reply)

I fucking wish
Talking about it is basically winning the battle for the other guy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:32, Reply)

Really?
Genuine question
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:41, Reply)

Afraid so
Talking about it always seems to reinforce its influence, I can only cope when I'm not thinking about it. Appreciate that "ignore it and it might go away" doesn't really work with mental illness so I'm going to have to get past this eventually
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:42, Reply)

Interesting
I genuinely have no experience with this
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:43, Reply)

The doctor tried to prescribe me medication when I left my job at Sky.
I was depressed but not clinically.
It was scary how easy they give you the drugs though.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:45, Reply)

Actually for years my doctors sent me on self-esteem building courses rather than dole out drugs
Which are a better idea in the long run but proved ineffective. What was scary was when I did get some drugs, and they had fuck all effect
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:49, Reply)

So what are you doing/taking now?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:51, Reply)

men/a cock in the arse

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:54, Reply)

is that what "man the fuck up" means?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:57, Reply)

in Darth Fuckup's case, yes.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:59, Reply)

150-300mg of Trazodone (antidepressant)
and 25-100mg of Quetiapine (antipsychotic) each day

The former does seems to have a numbing effect which makes it the best of its kind I've tried so far, the latter is very effective in getting me to sleep
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:59, Reply)

Hey, as long as its working

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:00, Reply)

Yeah it's been a lifesaver tbh mate
Don't know what kind of state I'd have been in the last few months if I hadn't got past the insomnia. If you're still struggling with that I recommend Quetiapine. It doesn't make you drowsy per se but it quiets the mind, so if you can't sleep because your brain won't shut up, it's very effective.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:05, Reply)

Its more waking up early that I have a problem with, not going to sleep

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:20, Reply)

have you tried GIN
We here at GIN enterprises recommend GIN for all sleep related problems... Also coming soon BABY GIN get over those teething nightmares with new BABY GIN
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:25, Reply)

I'm IN for GIN
I actually had three last night and I slept the whole night through
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:29, Reply)

Proof
That the miracle of GIN will work, we here at GIN enterprises thank you for your custom.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:33, Reply)

"I give it FIVE Saphhire stars" - Sportscow, Whitley Bay

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:35, Reply)

hahaha

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:39, Reply)

Is that you Sporters, or have I missed a meme?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:40, Reply)

Its my LinkedIn pic from years ago
AA mentioned it earlier
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:41, Reply)

See how you lure the gaybos in with your "Look"

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:44, Reply)

Any (brown) holes a goal

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:44, Reply)

^ jelly

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:56, Reply)

I don't think he's ready

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:57, Reply)

Yeah I suppose it does take more than just numbing yourself
Work shops etc could be a massive boost if it is esteem that falls, but depression has so many sub categories.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:52, Reply)

The problem with workshops and by extension counselling
is that they effectively ask you to believe in yourself, or at least attempt exercises which will help you to do so.

If your self-esteem is shot to fuck it can be very difficult to even try
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:01, Reply)

Have you tried just cheering up a bit?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:04, Reply)

best website ever, as most of us probably know. and apparently she nails this depression thing. anyway, she covers your point.
hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co.uk/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html


hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/depression-part-two.html
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:06, Reply)

maybe if he stopped wearing the guyliner, binned the trenchcoat and stopped listening to terrible 'cybergoth' bands
Then the general improvement in his life may be reflected in an improvement in his mental health.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:06, Reply)

You might not believe this, but your posts are actually quite helpful, old boy
Because no matter how unhappy I might be with my lot in life, I'm not you.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:09, Reply)

I believe ZING is the term

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:10, Reply)

nah
it was CHING from all the edgy facial piercings knocking together
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:13, Reply)

Lacist

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:15, Reply)

^

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:13, Reply)

well yes, it's much better to be a sexually confused lifefailure with severe mental health problems and a job in a 'contact centre'
This is where I've been going wrong all this time.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:28, Reply)

^^^Trying too hard to be Rory this week

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:56, Reply)

Yeah, I also tried "just going to sleep"
I only pretend they didn't work to make people talk to me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:07, Reply)

Mad how a slight chemical imbalance can fuck up your feelings an that.
Glad you have got it seen to though!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:05, Reply)

Cheers Jay :-)

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:06, Reply)

*throws pills*

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:32, Reply)

Im glad you did that, my offer was shite.
I've not even had a chance to grab a cup of coffee yet :(

I've had a fair few scraps in my time, normally defending mates.
Mens way of fighting is a lot better than women. Once one party is knocked over, that seems to be it.
Women on the other hand will lock their hand in their opponents hair and keep scrapping even after the loser is down and out.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:31, Reply)

I fucked over this guy who looked at me funny
Prick
( Peej, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:32, Reply)

I broke a bloke's nose once
True story. Me. Me!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:33, Reply)

Excessive pelvic thrust?

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:34, Reply)

*does the time warp again*

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:35, Reply)

Hahaha!
Actually he called my (then) girlfriend a donkey (not to her face) so I hit him. I was very drunk and took a while to come to the realisation of what I'd done. This was quickly followed by FEAR. Luckily, he was a goth.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:38, Reply)

he was right though

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:41, Reply)

hahhaa!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:41, Reply)

She did have a very big cock

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:41, Reply)

officelol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:42, Reply)

*punches in face*
Let me know when you feel it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:43, Reply)

that was a limp-wristed tap
Not a punch.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:44, Reply)

You've missed a quality opportunity
for "That's what she said", here
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:46, Reply)

me too!
Although it wasn't a fight it was cricket and he kept hitting round the ground so I bounced him. Blood everywhere
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:36, Reply)

Now that is a MAN's response
I shall henceforth call you Whispering Ape
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:37, Reply)

Bad case of the Trotts

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:39, Reply)

I gave a batsman a depressed fracture of the cheekbone
I was slightly nippy in my youth
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:41, Reply)

No, that was Bruce Wayne

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:42, Reply)

what sort of vulgarian actually partakes in an activity as undignified as fighting?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:34, Reply)

Isn't it an ingrained part of the 'culture' in your country?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:35, Reply)

Needs moar whisky

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:36, Reply)

among the lower orders, yes
Much as it is in your 'culture'.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:38, Reply)

I have never been in a fight.
How repulsively common.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:34, Reply)

I've never instigated one, but if someone has a go, Im gonna defend myself.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:36, Reply)

You just threatened me up there ^

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:37, Reply)

You was askin' forrit

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:40, Reply)

Really? I go out looking for a fight most nights. Specially paki kids and the poofs.
They're askin for it
( Peej, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:38, Reply)

Do you come across many of them on nights out in Cornwall?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:38, Reply)

ur al fiting flab innit lol

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:36, Reply)

It very nearly kicked off yesterday while I was in the pub.
Luckily, the coked-up, pissed young twat who was the culprit was given a sobering reality check by a friend* of mine.

*lovely guy with a massive potential for violence and the skills to make it stick.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:38, Reply)

WOOOOOWWWW.
You're so cool, Captain Placid.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:41, Reply)

captain placid likes pretending that he's cool

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:42, Reply)

captain placid likes publicly tickling his cock

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:46, Reply)

Who doesn't?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:47, Reply)

captain placid likes punching the hospital chaplain

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:47, Reply)

captain placid likes peter the hound-catcher

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:49, Reply)

captain placid likes purple turtle heathen cats

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:50, Reply)

captain placid likes puppies tasting his coffee

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:56, Reply)

captain placid likes plaice, turbot, hake, cod.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:57, Reply)

I'm imagining these as google auto-fills

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:37, Reply)

You, sir, are a racist pot

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:48, Reply)

the joke just flew right over your hideously deformed head

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:49, Reply)

Darth Toxie

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:53, Reply)

Pol the other one

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:53, Reply)

^ BOLLOCKHEAD ^

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:02, Reply)

I once fought for my right to party

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:40, Reply)

and you'll cry if you want to!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:41, Reply)

*removes pornography*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:41, Reply)

Such a drag...

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:43, Reply)

man, the Beastie Boys sucked at that point

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:43, Reply)

I hated the Beastie Boys before they were famous.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:48, Reply)

still in transistion from punk band to rappers

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:07, Reply)

I fought the law
The outcome was not entirely favourable
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:44, Reply)

That guy whose nob got cut off by pikeys? Mistaken identity, apparently. The pikeys were after someone else.
Woops.
( Kroney, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:45, Reply)

Cocked that one up, eh?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:46, Reply)

PUMP UP THE VOLUME

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:47, Reply)

Happy Harry Hard-On.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:48, Reply)

shit
Someone cocked up there.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:46, Reply)

Don't fuck a pikey. Don't even look like somebody else that might fuck a pikey.

( Kroney, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:52, Reply)

I don't associate with uncouth elements

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:55, Reply)

we can rebuild him

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:47, Reply)

The Middlesbrough dude?
Serves him right for living there.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:47, Reply)

I haven't been in a fight since 1st year at high school
When I was maybe about 17-18 I nearly got involved in a rammy in a pub in Moffat on the way back from a cricket match in Glasgow.

We'd stopped off for a pint on the way home, having not realised that it was Moffat's gala day - basically the entire population out on the piss all day.

I was wearing quite a loud 'Living Colour' t-shirt - I know, FFS. A rather refreshed gentleman approached me and asked me if I was wearing it for a bet. Now ordinarily I would have meekly laughed it off, but he was wearing a Rangers shirt at the time. I may have been a little sarcastic in my response.

He was just about to lunge at me when his more sober mate, having realised that I'd just walked in with an entire cricket team, interjected and saved us both from a shoeing.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:47, Reply)

I quite like Living Colour

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:48, Reply)

QOTFW lols

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:56, Reply)

Are you having one of your turns?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:58, Reply)

vagabond spams qotw with execrable attempts at comedy, with all the humorous merit of dogshit pizza

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:00, Reply)

I did have a quick look to see if he was referring us to something humorous.
If he was, I didn't get it.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:07, Reply)

vagabond spams qotw dozer posts
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:07, Reply)

your strikethroughs fail as often as your lovelife

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:08, Reply)

how is mrs dozer?
still buried in 2001?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:12, Reply)

oh right I see, if it's not talked about on here, it doesn't actually exist, gotcha

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:26, Reply)

no
there is no way any real life woman would go out with you. that is all.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:32, Reply)

Whereas 100% of your output is nicked by Billy Connolly, because it's monumentally hilarious.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:12, Reply)

*throws popcorn*

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:16, Reply)

^ upset

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:25, Reply)

even Andy Parsons is funnier than you.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:31, Reply)

^ an excellent insult ^

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:41, Reply)

|Even andy Parsons is taller the you

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:54, Reply)

Well - you know the old saying ...
"It's not the size of the dog in the fight. Dozer is a prick."
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:02, Reply)

You should see the size of the "dog" in Dozer's bed
it looks like a whale fucked a manegy spaniel
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:03, Reply)

I like Andy Parsons, although his delivery can get quite tiring quite quickly.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:51, Reply)

this does not surprise me

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 15:00, Reply)

I beat up women too. Equal rights and equal wrongs I say. Serves them right for being paki poofs

( Peej, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:06, Reply)

Going back to your question about Ukraine
What I want to know is what FEMEN are doing about it all, surely there should be an option for me to see boobs at a protest about now.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:08, Reply)

the last fight i had was with some fucking disgusting chav bitches that someone in my flats had actually allowed into the vicinity
i was waiting to come out of our electric gates as they were waiting to get in. they let me go first - as you really should, in a "let passengers off the tube first" logistics kind of a way - and i nodded and smiled at one of them by way of thanks.

her nasty chavved up mate was too busy blooblooing about something and didn't see me nod. as i walked past, she yelled, "ER YOU COULD SAY FANK YOU," at me.

normally i ignore people like that, but i was in a strop about something else, and it was my own fucking block of flats i'd just let her into, so i turned and said icily, "i did say thank you. it is not my fault you were too deaf to hear me." her mate was also nudging her, but it was too late, i was properly furious. so i looked at the wine bottles she was carrying, and said, "maybe if you weren't so pissed, you might have done."

she gaped like a goldfish, and her mate said, "oi! 'ere, she's sober." so i snapped, "well god help you after she's drunk all that lot then, if she's so rude when she's 'sober'". and then i left them to it. chav cunts, shouldn't be allowed into decent postcodes.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:12, Reply)

That's not a fight really.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:15, Reply)

Good comebacks though

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:22, Reply)

it's as close as i've ever gotten
oh and the twunt at the tube station who cut in line for the ticket machine, when i asked the people in front of me politely if they were together or not. he grunted that i was "taking too long."

i shouted at him that i was being polite, but he ignored me. then he totally fucked up his transaction and took ages. i swept past him and said, "now THAT'S taking too long."

which you never normally get to do.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:23, Reply)

Mmmhmm... *z snaps*

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:30, Reply)

Shared residency & contact.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:15, Reply)

Any more news on that?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:22, Reply)

The weekday access is currently shafted, Weekends (for now) are being adhered to.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:23, Reply)

Any chance of weekdays coming back?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:31, Reply)

Only Wednesdays - Not Mondays or Fridays.
With the 'every other weekend' thing this would mean me going a week (from Wed to Wed without seeing her. Not fair her.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:34, Reply)

Have you considered knocking some some other bird
You might as well give up and start with a new one
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:38, Reply)

Ooof. You cunt.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:41, Reply)

Yeah
soz
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:43, Reply)

the contact should be your fist and her jaw
stupid woman
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:23, Reply)

Leigh-on-Sea was excellent, thanks for the suggestion. Did you get the picture I sent you?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:24, Reply)

Does it still have the faint smell of cockles

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:28, Reply)

Not that I noticed.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:28, Reply)

not now his mum's left

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:29, Reply)

ahahaha
It has been about 25 odd years since I was last there, they used to have mounds of cockle shells down the front
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:35, Reply)

also
Is it The Smack that's right on the front, I recall going there as a kid and they used to have whelks and cockles on the bar
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:36, Reply)

i don't know anywhere called that now
there is a lovely restaurant right on the seafront called the boathouse, maybe it turned into that? or lots of pubs that do that sort of thing, all along the front.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:51, Reply)

The other one I remember is Peter Boat
I am sure they used to do a Mayday thing there with greased pole fighting etc. (70's childhood blog)
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:57, Reply)

the peter boat is still there, i'm sure it is

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:33, Reply)

We just cant find it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:34, Reply)

no!!!!!
please re-send, i'd love that!

old leigh is lovely, some really cool shops. so glad you had fun together.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:29, Reply)

Done.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:31, Reply)

gracias!
i love going to see my brother and kids there. it's proper enid blyton five go down to the sea stuff.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:32, Reply)

In other news, this is a shame
www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/03/17/clarissa-dickson-wright-dead-two-fat-ladies-chef-dies-aged-66_n_4977902.html?1395053885

I thought she was excellent, she wrote a great book that Monty & Lusty bought me for my birthday last year that I really enjoyed.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:25, Reply)

They were both delightfully English
MOAR butter
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:32, Reply)

The whole thing about eating badgers was hilarious.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:33, Reply)

I couldn't watch their program cos old fat people make me feel ill

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 13:50, Reply)

Read this. It's really good.
www.amazon.co.uk/History-English-Clarissa-Dickson-Wright/dp/009951494X/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1395064855&sr=1-4&keywords=clarrisa+dickson+wright
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:01, Reply)

Don't get me wrong, likle liked what they cooked and what they stood for. But seeing them took my appetite away
Similarly, The ghastly "hairy bikers" have some decent recipes, but I can't watch them as they are fat and northern and it puts me off my supper.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:05, Reply)

The hairy bikers are cunts. As are Rick Stein & Gary Rhodes.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:06, Reply)

agreed, but again I like some of stein's recipes

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:07, Reply)

Try his recipe for goan fish curry. Superb, as is the one for smoked haddock en croute.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:12, Reply)

I didn't know Mrs.Doyle was that adventurous

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:12, Reply)

Any opportunity

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:16, Reply)

Disagree, I quite like the bikers, they're just painfully shit presenters
The other two can fuck right off.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:07, Reply)

yeah, but you're northern and common so you're used to listening to and looking at the lower classes

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:10, Reply)

And look at this, I'm even talking to one right now.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:13, Reply)

pffft

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:14, Reply)

Lover, not a fighter, etc
I tend to find enough violence at gigs without seeking it out anywhere else. Think that's likely why the kicking last year didn't actually bother me too much, have taken worse at gigs.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:05, Reply)

*skips in a circle*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:07, Reply)

*wotsits in a square*

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:11, Reply)

golf claps
now get out
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:12, Reply)

Someone start a new thread please

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:21, Reply)

goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan
goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan goan
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:23, Reply)

curry?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:24, Reply)

moi son

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:24, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2238920
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:24, Reply)

My wife went to India...

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:25, Reply)

Jamaica?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:29, Reply)

No, when I get hard it says welcome to jamaica, have a nice day

(Bazongaloid, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:31, Reply)

it says "hi" doesn't it?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:35, Reply)

in 3 point size font.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:36, Reply)

I took a woman to see India once.
At The Oval!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:32, Reply)

I am going to India in December to watch cricket & eat smelly food.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:33, Reply)

am going to india in December to watch cricket & eat y food
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:34, Reply)

surely "I am smelly" would have been a lot easier?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:43, Reply)

I hope you don't get dysentery and shit yourself to death

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:35, Reply)

Have you been before?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:35, Reply)

+ to a Harvester

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:35, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2238940
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:39, Reply)

I hear they're very similar

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:40, Reply)

Nope. Closet I have been is Nepal, which I understand has a certain level of similarity.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:35, Reply)

Not even close.
You won't be prepared for the poverty. But will have a great time.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:37, Reply)

he lives in Kilburn, he'll be fine

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:38, Reply)

That isn't where he lives
It's what THE VOICES tell him to do
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:39, Reply)

Fucking St Patrick's Day today. Kilburn is full of micks.
I will be staying in tonight. Fucking spudwogs.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:39, Reply)

Terrible bullying of Rory

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 17 Mar 2014, 15:10, Reply)

I saw dreadful poverty in Kathmandu - children who had been maimed by their parents to generate sympathy when the child is sent out begging, gutters overflowing with raw sewage etc.
I do expect to see this sort of thing on a worse scale in India though.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:41, Reply)

Wouldn't want Tibet on it

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:38, Reply)

Don't Dalai
Stat a new thread ...errr... todai!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:39, Reply)