Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Hello there offtopicers and Tim StiltonsHere are some questions:
When was the last time you pretended to understand or find funny something that everyone else was pissing themselves laughing about but sailed a countrymile over your head?
ALTERNATIVE 1: Do you have any bongle-inspiring workmates that have sent you waddling to the work toilet to ease the pressure?
ALTERNATIVE 2: I thought everyone knew who everyone was so what's the problem with this real name thing anyhow?
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:00, 190 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
Yeah, you're a complete mystery(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:14,
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I have an easter egg and some fizzy haribo(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:04,
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The other day i walked in on someone taking a dump, I don't know why he didn't lock the door.Luckly there was a scream before any eye contact happened.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:04,
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University Students are mostly aged between 18 and 21This years fashion is those really tight leggings that show off the arse.
I work at a university. Does that answer the first alternative question?
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Peej, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:06,
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no wonder your wife is a paranoid mess of blobbing rage(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:07,
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he's a creepy internet creeperbut i doubt he perves on girls who are closer in age to his kids than to himself
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:14,
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You're saying the university students are fair game for his perving then?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:16,
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old enouigh to know better than to have an eybrow piercing(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:17,
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well, if they are 18and your kid is 5, that's a 13 year difference.
13 years from 18 is 31 - i reckon you're at least that.
and that gap is only going to get bigger...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:43,
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Ok so I'm not allowed the 18 year olds. But the 19-21 year olds are fair game.(
Peej, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:44,
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for nowbut the problem is, you will think about this creepy comparison, and how creepy it makes you, and you'll think GODDAMMIT SWIPE, CAN I NOT EVEN HAVE A WANK IN PEACE?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:49,
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it's a shame your dad didn't have a vasectomy at 16(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:51,
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I don't understand girls who wear those tight clothes that make their bum stick out like a shelf.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:08,
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:08,
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I WANNA KNOW WHAT LOVE IS, AND I WANT YOU TO SHOW ME.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:13,
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the whole cheese-gate saga has made me laugh i like gonz's new name the best
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:15,
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This and "Rob Fairholme" over on qotw are proving that this nearly dead site can still be funny(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:17,
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Someone needs to fuck dat niggah up pretty fucking tout de suite ya get me?(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:29, Reply)
I don't pretend, if I'm being stupid I'm honest about it. I'm stupid a lot, I doubt I'd fool anyone otherwise.alt: Not recently, no. All birded up, innit. However, I've heard on the grapevine that the employee that won the Best Boobs Award in 2008 is coming back to the company soon. That'll brighten the place up a little.
alt: bloo bloo bloo bloobloobloo bloo bloo bloobloo bloo waaaaaaaah bloobloobloo
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Kroney, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:29,
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I think I am getting a cold, I feel like shitstupid children with their lurgy
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:34,
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Fucking Easter. The little turds are everywhere at the moment.Screaming and tantruming and getting underfoot. I wish it were legal to boot 'em.
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Kroney, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:37,
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I used to do a lot of work on top of YM in the 1970's. Back when bush hair used to get matted.
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:34, Reply)
Whereabouts in the 1970s?You're not my dad, are you? He was from Woolwich, too. Seems a hell of coincidence.
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Kroney, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:36,
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Good tiems. Especially if a bird was riding you and a couple of hairs would get caught on the tip of your dick on the downstroke pulling the pissflap up inside.
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:43, Reply)
what the.......................................you are a very WRONG human being
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:43,
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The Indian girl I was seeing for a while was a bit furry, but that's the closest I've got.I feel like I've missed out.
What I don't like is when they complain about stubble grazing their face and I'm all like "yeah and what about my ballbag?" No consideration, stunner.
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Kroney, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:48,
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No consideration at all. It's almost like they are indifferent to sex once they know you want sex all the time. Thus creating a barter system for their affections.
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:52, Reply)
i was watching cameron diaz on the graham norton show begging women not to permanently get rid of their pubesbecause they might want them one day, and that permanent shit is permanent.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:51,
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No. She looks attractive and like she goes like the clappers. Mexican innit. Altho' I've heard she is an "environmentalist".
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:56, Reply)
she's not the hottest actress out there, but she's extremely attractivealthough russell crowe couldn't get far enough away from her and more on top of kylie
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:00,
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So who went crying to the mods then. I've obviously missed something.(
Peej, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:34,
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i assume it was the person whos'e real name is closest to Tim Stilton(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:35,
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Yeah, but I have your phone number so I'll just bombard you with texts instead.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:50,
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Swipey thinks I look older than I am.Do I have a case to go blooblooooobloooooiong to the mods?
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Peej, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:45,
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What I got from that is, that since I don't have kids, I'm allowed to perv at 18 year olds.SCORE
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Kroney, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:49,
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just think how you'd feel about someone that much older perving on your daughtersthat'll wilt your tulip
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:54,
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If my 18 year old daughter got with a 31 year old I would probably think along the lines of "She's 18 she can do what she likes"(
Peej, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:55,
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imma print this offand post it to him when they are teenagers. he'll need something to mop up his tears of rage.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 14:59,
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16 or 17 I would have issue with itBut once someone is an adult its really not up to me is it. My sister had older boyfriends in her late teens and early 20s and she calmed down eventually.
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Peej, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:02,
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this is exactly how you will see it when some raddled grizzled old pervert has his meaty hands all over your daughter/s(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:05,
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Hopefully my daughters won't be interested in people like StunnedTHere are normal 31 year olds. You have met me grandma
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Peej, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:07,
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that isn't the pointthe point is, when you are perving over teenagers, you think of some horrible old internet porno creep doing that to your girls, and it'll soon sort you out.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:12,
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your image of a hair catching on a bellend should be a particular highlight (
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:15,
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Oddly enough this started off with you say you doubt I perve at themthen you seemed to switch sides.
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Peej, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:59,
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it's almost like i have no idea what i'm talking about(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:59,
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We'll see how you feel in 2027 when Stunned moves in across the street (
Kroney, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:06,
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They'll be falling all over themselves to give you a sponge bath.(
Kroney, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:18,
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They're used to people with peg legs in cornwall(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:14,
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*Half your age plus seven / double your age minus seven*18, 36, 29.... m'lurd.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:17,
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Linda McCartney and Martha StewartWINK
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:26,
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22 and 53 for me.www.imdb.com/search/name?birth_year=1961&gender=female&sort=starmeter,asc
Oh god, I've just thought up a really creepy web-app.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:23,
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You can totally bang Stifler's "mom"I've got Kim Basinger and Chaka Khan in my list. Score!
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Kroney, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:24,
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She's ruined it in that film about the two slags who make a cupcake shop thats always on E4.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:26,
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Two broke girls. The brunette with the massive norks would get it.
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:29, Reply)
That's the one.No thanks, even a cheeky wank over them will get you a brain-STI.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:32,
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I have to say that the 1st half of the equation interests me, but the latter part doesn't.(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:22, Reply)
TBH, it's normally the same 'actress', it's just that in the first one she's wearing a cheerleader costume with pigtails...... and in the second one she's wearing a pencil-skirt, black-rimmed glasses and has those tights that come up to the bellybutton.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:32,
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I often laugh at jokes I didn't hear, because I'm too busy not listening to the stupid cunt telling the joke. I am nobody.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:10,
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I'M EVERY WOMAN! (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:18,
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Supermarkets? In Cornwall?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:25,
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I believe they forage in the hedgerows adn steal the pic -a -nic baskets of visitors(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:37,
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there's a tiny tesco near my dad's placei don't think the locals know what it is
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:37,
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There's a tiny Sainsbury's in Newquay as well, but it didn't really stock anything(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:39,
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^ this ^but the bits around it are stunning.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:43,
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just thinking about italways thinking about it
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:46,
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It really isThere is fuck all there
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:50,
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i tried to go to the gym therebut it was all derelict and closed down. turned out that it was actually open, just on the top floor only (why?), and that most of the time they trained cage fighters up there. at least, that's what it looked like. i did my 30 min jog and ran out of there much more quickly.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:52,
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That's pretty much the same as my experience trying to go to a pub there(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:55,
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No locals go to Newquay on account of it being full of cunts.this is the second time I have posted this.
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Peej, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:56,
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I knowI didn't choose to go there
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 16:05,
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Oh, btw, I got that Ribeye today whilst I was near a posh butchers, 13 ounces of perfect steak.I also got a beef tomarto, a portabellow mushroom and some aspagous. And some potatos that i'll boil and then fry to make sautay potatoes.
Whatcha reckon though, blue cheese sauce or bernaise? I ain't had bernaise sauce before.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:45,
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bernaise deffoit can go wrong though, so treat it gently
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:46,
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I saw James Martin cook some last week, it looked good. I'm not sure what tarragon tastes like off-hand.I'll pick myself up a mini food processor for it.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:48,
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Cool, I know it wouldn't be the same, but could I make it with Dill? I fucking love Dill.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:53,
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Cool, i'll make it how it's supposed to be for first time, save the Customisation 'till when I've got it right.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 16:02,
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What Ape says. Warm it slowly and gently though or you'll kill it.
(, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:48, Reply)
Cool.I worked out how to make Turkish Rice over the weekend, that was fucking lush.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:50,
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HI STUNNED POSTER!Tesco in Redruth, Tesco Extra in Pool. There is a shop in Lanner too but its not big. You could go the other way and go to Asda in Penryn.
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Peej, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:48,
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Theres a couple of supermarkets in Redruth town centre but AVOID REDRUTH ITS FULL OF SCUM!(
Peej, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 15:48,
Reply)
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