Imma start a new thread.
This here: christinalouisemartin.blogspot.co.uk/2014/07/the-wit-wisdom-of-paul-daniels.html has amused me.

I'm now fairly certain, having read that, that Paul Daniels probably posted on here at some point, possibly under the user name 'Spanky Hanky'. Who else on here is secretly a celebrity?

Alt: how come that fucker Daniels has never been Yewtree'd?

altalt: alright
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 11:51, 131 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

I am secretly Christina Aguliera
I'm surprised no one has twigged, I mean, we look so much alike!
Alt: Dunno. We have a yewtree dead pool going on at the moment. Pretty much any 60's and 70's male radio/TV star is in it.
Altalt: I will be once I get to grips with this fucking Uni tender.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:02, Reply)

I couldn't be arsed to read any of that. Is there anything about fucking alsatians?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:04, Reply)

Maybe.....

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:10, Reply)

you bothered to read that?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:05, Reply)

Oh ha ha someone might be a nonce!!! Original stuff!!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:06, Reply)

Oh man, I wonder if there's some kind of years old list that took an hour or two to compile that I could mention as well?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:07, Reply)

yeah just brush it off as a couple of hours, definitely less embarrassing now, well done

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:10, Reply)

Blimey, are you another Happy Phantom sockpuppet?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:11, Reply)

Yes of course, it must all be the same person, it's seriously unlikely that more than one person would think that you're a bit of a knob

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:13, Reply)

i can think of at least 3
you, me, his wife...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:21, Reply)

...his morbidly obese wife

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:23, Reply)

He's gone a bit quiet, I hope he's not upset, I was only 'TTT'*
*Trolling The Trolls, that's what 'we' call it, cool eh???!!!
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:25, Reply)

alright 'The Mock Turtle'

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:28, Reply)

Alright 'Gary Cranley'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:30, Reply)

alright 'Tim Stilton'

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:31, Reply)

alright 'tangledupintwo'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:32, Reply)

alright PsychoChomp

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:34, Reply)

Watch it mate, or I'll bully you until you run away too

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:36, Reply)

I'm usually the best looking guy in the room.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:38, Reply)

When the room has you, tangles and battered in it, yer

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:39, Reply)

NO GOING OUT FOR A FAG
NOT EVEN A BENT E-FAG
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:39, Reply)

fuck off you fat psycho cunt

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:41, Reply)

man, the tears of portly rage and sweat that must have been squeezed out when writing that
lol
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:44, Reply)

Laugh all you want, you still pity fucked him.

( Peej, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:34, Reply)

hi

(Gerald was innocent, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:36, Reply)

hi doctor frog

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:36, Reply)

alright hodor

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:47, Reply)

I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:48, Reply)

brb, walking the dog.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:01, Reply)

shush, she's lovely
go and suck the air out of your dying cat
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:25, Reply)

She might be, but we're still allowed to call her fat, just like AB does with you.
For once Dozer is correct.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:29, Reply)

no no no no no
too late. somewhere in york, an already massive head has finally exploded, and killed a number of people with shards of flying metal :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:31, Reply)

Leeds, not York

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:32, Reply)

aha
who said it was YOUR head?

busted!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:34, Reply)

but you were referring to me though
PWNED AGAIN!!!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:37, Reply)

it is amusing that you assumed that
thereby admitting that you have a massive head. mmm-kay?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:38, Reply)

but you meant me

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:46, Reply)

no, i meant your hamster
i am assuming you left it in york, and don't really insert it into your arse every morning
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:47, Reply)

arse insertion is an evening event

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:57, Reply)

Isn't Christina Martin a regular contributor to the Viz Letterbocks page?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:06, Reply)

There's not a lot of evidence

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:11, Reply)

Hello Rory Mcbeef.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:18, Reply)

I'm 'secretly' The Resident Loon

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:12, Reply)

Well
Monty is Del Preston, Stunned is Rodney Dangerfield and Battered is Warwick Davis.

Alt, because he hasn't sexually assaulted anyone except all those prostitutes?
( Peej, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:18, Reply)

You know these wankers who walk down the street with music blaring from their mobile phones
Why is it always hip hop? You never hear some decent rock, or maybe something nice like The Carpenters.

Also, wouldn't the sound quality be significantly better through headphones?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:39, Reply)

I used to get the bus to work with groups of people playing music in this way on it.
Sometimes you'd get Bangra/Hip Hop/Some Beyonce type trash all meshed together in a satanic cacophony.

Awful
( Locus213 Slightly to the left of Bakunin, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:18, Reply)

I secretly really am indeed 'Bill Clay'
Anyone else that says they are is a liar, fraud or Hans Gruber.

Alt: Cause he's a 'right laugh' with all his different ways of going 'ha-ha'

I had a weird double bill of How To Train Your Dragon 2 and Sightseers last night. Both were really good, actually HTTYD2 was fucking superb. An intelligent and well structured kids film is a rare treat in an age of Smurf sequels.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:41, Reply)

alright Reginald Donkeyfuck

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:43, Reply)

alright mince you flucken count
how's the hoover snout?
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:44, Reply)

that ent mince 'bill clay'

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:48, Reply)

Yeah, but maybe he doesn't know that
*taps nose*
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:51, Reply)

Mince was Reginald?!
Christ, it's like the end of The Sixth Sense in here.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:02, Reply)

Thats cool
I like the bit where they send old spectacles to Africa to help people with poor eyesight
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:24, Reply)

Yes, I'm very famous, but I'd rather not reveal my true identity on here.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:48, Reply)

I can, if you like.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:48, Reply)

You misunderstand - it's not that I am unable to, more that I am unwilling.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:50, Reply)

I'm saying I am willing, if you aren't

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:51, Reply)

This is the worst rape joke ever.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:58, Reply)

What's the best one?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:04, Reply)

The 9 out of 10 people one

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:20, Reply)

^
Or let's not turn it into a murder.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:24, Reply)

what a load of fucking shit.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:59, Reply)

Don't panic Jase, only 9 days left

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:00, Reply)

Im still not having this meme.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:02, Reply)

I'm getting my bestest bullying out the way just in case

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:04, Reply)

Yer.
Are we all going to move to talk?
Or just abuse each other on Twitter?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:06, Reply)

Do what you like mate, I'm going back to real life

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:08, Reply)

I'm probably just going to keep posting on here

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:09, Reply)

Obviously I will keep in touch with everyone by posting on here, but I will have left forever other than that

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:10, Reply)

DON'T LEAVE ME HERE WITH THEM!

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:10, Reply)

You're coming with me, it was meant to be a surprise

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:10, Reply)

Christ.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:21, Reply)

Me
I'm two Premier League footballers as of a few years ago and an American President. BEAT THAT
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:00, Reply)

MAN 39, IN OFFER ON HOUSE SHOCKER

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:01, Reply)

\o/

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:02, Reply)

Although sorry you're so very old

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:02, Reply)

Me too
I rather suit grey hair though
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:03, Reply)

You're very dashing, it's true.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:03, Reply)

*flutters eyelashes*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:37, Reply)

Shut it youngsters

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:55, Reply)

£5k under the asking price but from last night's viewing
Two more viewings tonight
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:03, Reply)

That's more like it!! Nice one.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:03, Reply)

Sell it. SELL IT!!!
Put some flowers about the place or summat. Or a bowl of fruit.

Make it a show home!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:04, Reply)

Its empty!
No furniture at all!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:04, Reply)

A welcome home banner?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:06, Reply)

^ Further evidence of paramountcy of the gays' influence

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:08, Reply)

I'll give you a tenner and a Murray mint for it.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:09, Reply)

go for the max 249,950
Or wait until the next budget when the 2% band comes in.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:11, Reply)

clickin diss

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:12, Reply)

the 15k NISA limit is a 'big deal' as well.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:14, Reply)

Fuck me
You'd get a lot of groceries in there for that
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:36, Reply)

I need the cash now chief

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:34, Reply)

5k
is a fair offer to be honest, happy days with more viewings as well as you can play them off.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:36, Reply)

This is the plan, yes
Bloke showed his hand too much when he turned up in a private reg 911
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:36, Reply)

You can get a boy band from the 90's to carry you around now?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:40, Reply)

An A1 suggestion

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:43, Reply)

Ha-Ha this a way
Ha-Ha that a way
Ha-Ha this a way
My oh my
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:03, Reply)

I'm a Canadian footballer for the Bc lions and an American Footballer for the Dallas Cowboys.
I just wanted to say, also, that you're obsession with paedophiles worries me.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:06, Reply)

and biffa's

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:07, Reply)

He likes bins?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:09, Reply)

NAY TRUBBLE
MARE LEEK A BASTAD
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:38, Reply)

I'm sweatier than a fat boy's posing pouch.
What a day to be in an office
( Kroney, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:26, Reply)

It is rather warm

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:38, Reply)

I am actually Sasha Grey

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:31, Reply)

I think I've seen your anatomy

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:34, Reply)

Dont keep ants soz

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:35, Reply)

Just pants

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:36, Reply)

Dont own pants soz

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:36, Reply)

Not even those ones you nick from washing lines?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:37, Reply)

they get eaten almost instantly

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:38, Reply)

officelol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:38, Reply)

I'mstill the one with a rodent up my cow.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:48, Reply)

I dont even own a rodent

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:51, Reply)

I bet your hand is on a mouse right now

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:52, Reply)

Fuck!
So it is
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:53, Reply)

mouse childs fanny
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:54, Reply)

I ent no Ape

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:55, Reply)

In the same way that a car doesnt own a garage
you just provide temporary accommodation
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 13:54, Reply)