Good evening Off Topic, I've had a takeaway and am watching telly. How exciting will your Friday evening be?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 19:49, 100 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Steak, cajun pasta salad, glass of wine, fourth cool water bath of the day, water courgettes, read, bed by 9.30.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 19:52, Reply)

Steak sounds good, we have some nice stuff in the freezer, I just couldn't be bothered to go and cook stuff. Chinese to the door was the better option.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:03, Reply)

Small steak with a cold pasta salad is just what I want. Nothing more that in this heat.
Even most lardies (B3th aside) eat less when it's warm. Me included.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:06, Reply)

bit gay

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 21:02, Reply)

I won't be eating much tonight, it's too damn hot
I may have a small amount of various cooked meats/sausages with my deeply chilled San Miguel.
I'll be in bed early - I'm very tired after doing a totally pointless* university tender.

*Same one as the one we did 3 months ago - same machine, from the same company, to the same department in the same timeframe - yet we still had to fill out the frickin forms which included all of the same information. I think universities run on wasted paper and repeated words
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 19:57, Reply)

Might do some washing up, maybe water the garden
Definitely no drinking whatsoever
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:03, Reply)

Woah! Go steady with that lifestyle.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:06, Reply)

Taking it to THE EDGE, right here

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:08, Reply)

I hope you have an easily identifiable emergency number in your mobile just in case things get out of hand.
Washing up is very dangerous.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:12, Reply)

the old sock in the bathtub joke, eh?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:16, Reply)

would it not be easier just to have "g spot" as a username?

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:18, Reply)

Nah.
Edit: plus, I couldn't find that.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:19, Reply)

*insert short joke here*

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:24, Reply)

TTJ

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:30, Reply)

strikethrough, etc
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 21:14, Reply)

i haz beer and the tv
too hot for anything else
(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:05, Reply)

More exciting than that

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:05, Reply)

I have cycled 12 miles round the various paths of Hyde park.
Lovely evening out there innit. I'm going to open a pint sized can of Stella now and drink it on the balcony like a chav on holiday. Which, in many ways, I am.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:13, Reply)

I wish I had a balcony

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:17, Reply)

They are hers rather than mine. I only have two gardens.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:18, Reply)

well they do make your moobs look fantastic

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:19, Reply)

We will have a balcony when we get the pub, it's a bit of a crap view though.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:22, Reply)

I'd much rather have a balcony than a garden, it's a good vantage point to evade pesky neighbours

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:24, Reply)

Where abouts is this pub?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:24, Reply)

Near where we live, Kentville. Debating whether to flog the house or not, I say yes, wife , kid and accountant say no.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:37, Reply)

Gaz me which one, I want to know if I've been there.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:38, Reply)

Listen to accountant. Ignore wife.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:40, Reply)

If I had a balcony at the back of my place - the view is over open countryside
It'd be awesome
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:27, Reply)

I love mine
it's a bit small though.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:38, Reply)

UH-OH!!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:39, Reply)

What about your balcony?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:52, Reply)

ba-dum-tish

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 21:01, Reply)

I'm currently setting up my home office in the spare room
I've made my own computer desk using high end kitchen units from an old showroom display, must admit I'm rather pround of it, just waiting to get virgin media to hook a brother up tomorrow.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:20, Reply)

Evening Mr Hare.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:23, Reply)

word up Doc

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:27, Reply)

High fives dude.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:38, Reply)

Typical sambo, wanting others to do the work. Just ponce a neighbours broadband.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:24, Reply)

Fucking cunts have em all on lock down

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:26, Reply)

One of the local ones is named 'Lock up your kids and pets'

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:31, Reply)

the rest of it didn't fit on
" from the bollock headed nonce"
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:35, Reply)

Mowed the lawn, chippy tea, couple of cans, gonna walk the dogs then go meet my dad for a pint.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:31, Reply)

Mrs away?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:31, Reply)

She's off at some thing with her mum about something.
I think it's a dress thing. I dunno.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:36, Reply)

I like your interest in the doris.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:39, Reply)

I'm only kidding.
They have an appointment with a fancy Chinese tailor. Comes over once a year, they go down and choose styles and fabrics and get all measured, and then he goes back to his sweatshop and sends them cheap bespoke high quality out fits.
It's all very nice.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Jul 2014, 21:12, Reply)

Like Raja fashions who make suits

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 21:18, Reply)

Yeah well fuck you, you hear me...FUCK YOU
Came to my Manor and didn't even think to gaz me :(
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:32, Reply)

Sorry hh,
It's a long drive and too hot.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:35, Reply)

Only joking, I've been stuck around
Blackpool and Preston way all day
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:37, Reply)

Also you're a tedious prick who no one in their right mind would want to meet

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 21:07, Reply)

How was your birthday evening?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:32, Reply)

Nice and chilled.
Followed by an argument with lady pig because she's not so good on the champagne
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:35, Reply)

Ah, all forgotten in the morning though eh?
Glad the rest of it was good, if anyone deserves it, you do.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:37, Reply)

Yeah, course, it wasn't a proper fight. Silly thing she is.
Oh god, I hope she doesn't leave me.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Jul 2014, 21:14, Reply)

Bitchtits was the same.
One glass = fine.
Second glass = slightly grumpy.
Third glass = critical of everything.
Fourth glass = apologetic.
Fifth = asleep.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:39, Reply)

Sixth, good hard anal?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:42, Reply)

Divorce.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:44, Reply)

he'd probably need an eighth or three

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:45, Reply)

GREGG WALLACE DOESN'T BECOME A BIGGER CUNT THAN THIS.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:32, Reply)

What's he done now?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:36, Reply)

Breathe.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:39, Reply)

Celebrity masterchef is shit and watched by shit cunts

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 21:06, Reply)

Yes. Also presented by them.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 21:11, Reply)

Torode has a fucking stupid face and voice, Wallance is just an idiot
I only like the professional series, but without Roux Jr could be shit
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 21:19, Reply)

I had a cheeseburger meal from the dodgy grill on the corner of the road
and watched an old episode of HIGNFY on Dave while I ate it. I shall watch a bit of telly and go for an early night I reckon.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:52, Reply)

The rock and roll life here continues, I'm going to watch Doc Martin, then complain.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 21:02, Reply)

tell us more about your pub?
It's gotta be hard to leave behind a £100k+ GP job
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 21:31, Reply)

I had italian meatballs, pasta and home grown courgettes
because i'm not some sort of girl that can't eat because it's a "bit hot"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 21:05, Reply)

My courgettes are coming on really well. Can't wait to eat the early crop.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 21:11, Reply)

picking already while they are sweet
french beans are ten a penny and genuinely better than supermarket, also my purple carrots look almost ready
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 21:15, Reply)

Put my gay electronic cigarette through the wash. Still works.
#winning
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 21:31, Reply)

how have I missed the first half hour of "the joy of the guitar riff"?


hang on they're trying to suggest girls can do rock, i'm switching off
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 21:34, Reply)

Swipey thinks I'm sexist for not liking female singers.
I mean I am, but not for that reason.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 21:35, Reply)

yeah I have almost no female music
it's just a bi bent innit/?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 21:37, Reply)

Oh no, I hate disco :(

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 21:39, Reply)

I just can't enjoy it, because no matter how appealing to my sense of hearing it may be, I can't shake the fact that women are very stupid.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 21:39, Reply)

VERY stupid

It wouldn't surprise if Lemmy sold Swipe a time share
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 21:41, Reply)

He's making a new noise today, like a laser gun. It's cool.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 21:42, Reply)

do you think he sneaks out during the day to go to laser quest?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 21:44, Reply)

It wouldn't surprise me, although I think he's just been watching battlestar galactica. The old one with face man in it.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 21:46, Reply)

i dunt watch sci fi, cos it's shit and for cunts

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 21:52, Reply)

Make the most of a Friday night off now.
You won't have one for a while.
( wanderlust, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 22:10, Reply)

Hello.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 22:14, Reply)

hello

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 22:14, Reply)

uh-oh
the wurzels have arrived
(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 22:15, Reply)

must be their different timezone that brings them out at night

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 22:17, Reply)

yer, the 1950s

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 22:24, Reply)

7 minutes innit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 22:24, Reply)

wut?

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 22:33, Reply)

they are 7 minutes behind london, FACT

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 22:36, Reply)

It's Nakers innit, expect stuff like this from him...
He even mistaken me for Dozer earlier in this thread
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 22:38, Reply)

i am correct

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 22:39, Reply)

hello

( wanderlust, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 23:26, Reply)

YES.....Home office stage 1 complete

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 22:28, Reply)

wot?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 22:30, Reply)

I'm creating a new home office in a spare room, but not from shitty flat pack ikea crap

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 22:32, Reply)

from old newspapers and fizzy pop bottles?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 22:37, Reply)

Don't be silly you save that stuff to make a replica of Tracy Island.
#bluepeter/oldskool
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 22:41, Reply)

go on then show us a picture of your new home office

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 22:42, Reply)

I too have a sex dungeon.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 23:09, Reply)