b3ta.com qotw

Home » Question of the Week » Off Topic » Post 733817 | Search

Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(

rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1

« Go Back | Popular

It's question and answer time.
Ask me anything you like and I will attempt to answer it.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:40, 619 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

why do people in management have no concept on how offices work?

(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:41, Reply)

Because they are cunts.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:41, Reply)

Sounds about right.
Why is it so long until we can all come play up northwith you and pickleface?
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:43, Reply)

Just take each day at a time.
I am : )
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:45, Reply)

Do you like my picture?
I made it really good

www.b3tards.com/u/e908521f1c6e8c370697/thewrongtrousers1.jpg
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:42, Reply)

It's ok I guess.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:43, Reply)

You're not my friend anymore
I spent ages doing that
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:43, Reply)

Practice makes perfect.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:57, Reply)

That's why I'm so good
at wanking
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:59, Reply)

I keep having quick, fleeting flashbacks to another existence.
Is there a parallel universe that is leaking into my head?
(

crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:42, Reply)

are you in lost?

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:42, Reply)

I hope not. I stopped watching it when it turned out they were just randomly clipping together footage they'd found

(

crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:43, Reply)

No it's your hormones.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:43, Reply)

Last night I dreamt I rescued a baby otter.
I fed it bits of frozen fishfingers.
(

crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:44, Reply)

I love otters.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:46, Reply)

:D
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Awwwwwww!

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:52, Reply)

Are you serious
Because I get that. Its like flashbacks to memories that aren't mine and I always feel really sick after they happen. They last about 20 seconds but the sick feeling lasts over an hour.
(

Peej, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:17, Reply)

My mum used to get that
She would pass out too.
It stopped in her 30s.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:23, Reply)

The weird thing is
Whilst its happening I can recall in detail what I'm thinking and know 100% they aren't my memories but I can't remember them afterwards they fade really quickly like dreams. I have tried to talk to people whilst its happening and get them to remember for me but I can't get the words out.

I hope it stops when I am 30!
(

Peej, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:46, Reply)

Why does everyone - EVERYONE (with the possible exception of Amberl) - think I'm gay?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:43, Reply)

Let's see, you've posted how many threads about Glee now?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:44, Reply)

BECAUSE YOU FUCK MEN

(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:44, Reply)

Because you are a ballroom dancer, have had sex with a man and like Glee amongst other things.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:44, Reply)

I haven't had sex with a man. Or men.
and I persist in my belief that having a girlfriend should overcome any suppositions to be made about the sort of man who likes Glee
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:46, Reply)

I thought you said you'd once bumped uglies with a bloke or kissed one or something.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:47, Reply)

There's a hell of a difference between kissing a man when you're off your tits in the middle of an orgy
and actual full-on bumsex
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:50, Reply)

I guess so but there's no smoke without fire.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:51, Reply)

What about smoke machines?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:53, Reply)

They go well with the glitter balls and the scatter cushions

(

crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:54, Reply)

And dancing otters?
BTW Are you drugged or delirious with the joys of pregnancy?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:56, Reply)

Gearing up for puerperal psychosis.

(

crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:08, Reply)

Might as well start early.
How much longer to go?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:33, Reply)

Six weeks or so.
I'm hoping the temperature doesn't go above 21 degrees or so in that period of time. Yesterday was frickin' unbearable. I'm wearing flight socks to try and keep the swelling down. Not a great look.
(

crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Which of these is the preferable response to a pregnant woman re her appearance?
1. "You are glowing. Pregant women are so naturally beautiful."
2. "You don't need to look good when you're 'up the pole'."
3. "It will all be over soon enough."
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:43, Reply)

1 and 3.
And don't do whale song impersonations when they get in the bath.
(

crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:46, Reply)

They are all incorrect.
I got shouted at for all three at various stages of the pregnancy. The correct answer is that there is no correct answer.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:51, Reply)

~~smoke~~ cock
~~fire~~ Darth Foxtrot
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Elton John was married
Point voided
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:47, Reply)

My girlfriend's hotter than Elton John's ex-wife
whoever she was
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:04, Reply)

Kathy Burke.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:44, Reply)

Elton John married a woman.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:47, Reply)

so did Barrymore

(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:48, Reply)

Drew?
Whoa!
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:52, Reply)

Tom Green was a cunt, not a woman
although there are similarities
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:54, Reply)

What happened to him?
He went quiet after he became a unipod.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:57, Reply)

Well, you would, wouldn't you?

(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:59, Reply)

I suppose you would be less ballsy.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:02, Reply)

Everyone realised that he wasn't funny

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:01, Reply)

This^

(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:14, Reply)

~~unipod~~ monorchid. Pedant alert.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 25 May 2010, 16:49, Reply)

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:47, Reply)

Which one is he?

(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:47, Reply)

The one on the right looks like Fairuza Balk

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:48, Reply)

the one on the left
looks like a young Gary Newman
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:49, Reply)

r
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:51, Reply)

That's a bastard-huge compliment
Bert you old charmer
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:51, Reply)

He was a bumder too, wasn't he?

(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:52, Reply)

you are correct

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:52, Reply)

That's my best friend
She'll be flattered, well she fucking should be at least
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:01, Reply)

because you divide your time between trying to convince people you're not gay
and then going out of your way to show off your more flamboyant tendancies, in some kind of weird bluff/double bluff thing.

You either protest too much or not enough.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:08, Reply)

Why am I better than you?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:43, Reply)

I think it's all down to perspective.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:43, Reply)

What shall I do now?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:44, Reply)

Send me a gaz.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:44, Reply)

I want to buy a manbag.
I think I want a messenger style bag, something that'll take a book, some tablets, my ipad, phone, keys, wallet, and a few other bits'n'bobs. Nothing poncy like leather and nothing studenty like army surplus.

I want one because I wear a jacket with the only intention is because it's got pockets to keep things in, but it's to hot for that.

Also, I want to do something different with my hair, what do you recomend? I'm getting my haircut over the next couple of days.

One last thing, I think it's time for me to bite the bullet and get my tattoo, I think I'll get one this week.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:46, Reply)

Ebay for the bag.
Skinhead.

A tattoo of a bullet would be bad.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:48, Reply)

I kindda want to see the bag first, before I buy it, there are a few local shops that might sale a good one, or a charity shop, I donno.
Deffo not doing a skinhead, it's not a good look on chubby people, makes their head look like a potato.

I'm getting some hebrew tattoed, I did a design but I was then told it would be extreamly painful, so I'm going to re-design it.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:58, Reply)

Ooo
What you getting done?

Go for a fauxhawk on the haircut too :)
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:48, Reply)

Should I be afraid of what will happen at the next bash?

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:48, Reply)

I doubt it unless you're scared of the dark.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:48, Reply)

Sweet, no problem for me then!

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:48, Reply)

Or scared of marker pens

(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:49, Reply)

I thought they'd been banned?
I am somewhat against their use, aye
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:52, Reply)

Do you think if I took the Volvic 14 day water challenge
I would feel refreshed and revitalised… or do you think I would just feel all jiggly from all the water consumption?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 13:48, Reply)

Do that challenge but do it with tap water
fuck the system yeah!
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:49, Reply)

I like this idea more
It would save me money, but would the water be as nice… it wouldn’t have been ‘uniquely filtered through 6 layers of volcanic rock’… more like 6 layers of dodgy Victorian pipework.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 13:52, Reply)

Tap water has been filtered through thousands of layers of volcanic rock.
Just not as recently.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:53, Reply)

:)
Another good point. Just keep in mind that my tap water poisoned Al… its quite grim. I might just carry on drinking Diet Coke until all my teeth fall out, this being healthy shit isn’t for me.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 13:56, Reply)

Get a brita filter jug. They are fucking brilliant.
Our tapwater is almost undrinkable due to the flavour of chlorine and metals. Brita filter and hey presto drinkable. And doesn't scale up the kettle either.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 25 May 2010, 16:25, Reply)

I think you'd waste most of the day peeing.
This is why I gave up trying to drink 1 litre of water a day.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:49, Reply)

A valid point
I had not considered this... buggeration.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 13:53, Reply)

~~feel all jiggly~~ stink like piss
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:50, Reply)

That was clearly implied...
wasn't it!?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 13:53, Reply)

By use of the word 'jiggly'?
Nuh-uh!
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:54, Reply)

Need to book a family holiday very soon...
Where do you recommend? (Must have beaches, sunshine, good food and a reasonable standard of marijuana.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Jamaica.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:50, Reply)

No she went of her....

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:51, Reply)

yes!

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Family Holiday?
Try Tenerife or Ibiza.

I'm wanting to get something organised with the lemon curd and somewhere in Portugal is on my agenda. Maybe Cyprus also.
(

whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Pssst.
Don't go to Cyprus - I hear Wayne and Waynetta Boyce are going there.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:47, Reply)

Christ
*Strokes off list*
(

whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:01, Reply)

~~List~~
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:15, Reply)

What should I do tonight?

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Stop sleeping with strange men.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:52, Reply)

~~stop ing~~
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:53, Reply)

I've not done that in ages.

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:55, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post733919
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:57, Reply)

Creepy

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:01, Reply)

Slightly :D

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:03, Reply)

I hate/adore you Gonz
You're like an earworm, ever since you said 'Super mega fuck yeah awesome' I've been saying it all the time, I've even turned it into a fucking song
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:13, Reply)

stop stealing Psychochomp's job

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:11, Reply)

fuck me
and psychochomp, too
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:13, Reply)

Shut it flatty.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:47, Reply)

Then keep it up.
The longer you stop sleeping with strange men then the better you will get at it.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:58, Reply)

I guess
Only offers I get are from strange men!
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:01, Reply)

Not all of us are strange...
Well, that strange...
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:03, Reply)

Actually, the person I most want to sleep with is quite strange
a massive geek, and hung up on his ex-girlfriend leaving England for America, quite possibly failing this year, but very deep and thoughtful.

And pretty.
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:05, Reply)

Sleeping with b3tans:
The odds are good, but the goods are odd.
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:06, Reply)

Bahahahaha
I like this!
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:12, Reply)

Deep and thoughtful
Surely he's only a student?
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:06, Reply)

Philosophy

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:07, Reply)

OMG I studied philosphy, you must mean me!
But I'm with someone, don't have an ex I'm hung up on, nor one who's moving to America, and I've graduated.

You obviously don't know me very well.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:10, Reply)

I don't know if his name is even better than yours.

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:11, Reply)

It's not
My name's awesome.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:13, Reply)

Then you don't mean "deep and thoughtful",
you mean "arrogant and pretentious"
(

crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:11, Reply)

ha!

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:11, Reply)

Stunning

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:11, Reply)

He can be a bit of a cunt
He did the whole "I'M NOT VOTING FUCKING DEMOCRACY DOESN'T WORK". It got a bit annoying
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:12, Reply)

Is his name Enzyme?
My comment still stands.
(

crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:13, Reply)

Two in a row
CHCB's on a roll!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:14, Reply)

Pfffft
A little younger than Enzyme...
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:16, Reply)

Even if the guy had studied philosophy his entire life
Spent time with monks in Tibet, and walked alone for years with nothing for company but his own thoughts, if he described himself as 'deep and thoughtful', I'd still think him a rampant tosspot.
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:11, Reply)

He didn't, I did

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:12, Reply)

That makes it better then

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:20, Reply)

fuck me

(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:56, Reply)

Hello Bert
I don't think I've ever really talked to you before, though of course I remember you.

How are you?
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:01, Reply)

What
is the best flavour of cake?
(berk, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:52, Reply)

Cheese.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:53, Reply)

OH GOD YES.

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:12, Reply)

Om nom nom
annoyingly cheesecake is one of the few cakes I'm actually a bit shit at making. It is :the: business though. I spotted a pistachio and white chocolate cheesecake in a cafe the other day which I might have a go at making.
(berk, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:22, Reply)

I saw one for peanut butter cheesecake
I am so on that shit.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:26, Reply)

I made a boss rocky road cheesecake this weekend

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:26, Reply)

Both of these
would be ace if I liked peanut butter or marshmallows.
I'll see yours and raise you an oreo cheesecake :P
(berk, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:33, Reply)

What should I say to the inevitable repetitive questions that I'll get when I tell people I don't drink?

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Tell them to fuck off.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:54, Reply)

A bit anti-social, but ok.

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:54, Reply)

It's your business.
Not theirs.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:59, Reply)

tell them it's because you were having too much drunken anonymous sex

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:54, Reply)

I like this one.

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:00, Reply)

Just hit them
but, since you're more than likely a limp-wristed, teetotal girlpants, they'll probably hit you back much harder.

You wannet
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:55, Reply)

Say you were born with four kidneys
so no matter how much you drink it doesn't get you drunk, so you might as well buy cheaper soft drinks.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:57, Reply)

Duly noted and plenty of room for improvisation here.

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:02, Reply)

Tell them
that you're allergic to alcohol and that you'll die, then look at them in a way that'll make them feel guilty for being such piss-artists themselves.
(berk, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:03, Reply)

I'm definitely going down the more obscure route
I think I'll see how many different unusual explanations I can have flying around this small town.
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:08, Reply)

I forgot to ask...
How was your trip to New York? Did you slap any taxis?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:04, Reply)

It was great, it's an excellent city
I didn't slap a taxi but I did have an argument with a taxi driver who took exception that the 30% tip I gave him was in coins. Silly americans.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:12, Reply)

Awww
When I go I'll slap one for you! :)

Ooooh arguments about tips, how very British of you. You should have hit him in the face with your passport and called him ma laddie!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:19, Reply)

Tell them
You like to stay sober so you can pickpocket all your drunken friends with simplicity and ease.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:06, Reply)

Yes!
I missed you Flim, where ya been?
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:09, Reply)

I bin workin'
Its really quite overrated but I got a pay rise so my departure from B3ta has at least got me some cash to splash!

How have you been?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:18, Reply)

Super-splendid thanks miss.
Life's pretty fucking good at the mo.
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:22, Reply)

Jolly glad to hear it! :)
I like it when people are happy, it makes me grin!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:23, Reply)

tell them you're the subject of an ancient curse
and everytime you drink alcohol dolphins get one step closer to evolutionary superiority over humans.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:15, Reply)

Haha
*writes down*
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:26, Reply)

Can I bagsy a sofa at yours for the bash?
And:
Who's the sexiest b3tan? (male, female and inbetween)
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:58, Reply)

Labia Majora
That is what you wanted me to say, isn't it?
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 May 2010, 13:58, Reply)

It is indeed
I r John The Fisherman.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:03, Reply)

You won't fit on the sofa. It's not very long.
I have plenty of sleeping space in the attic. Just bring a sleeping bag.

Oh and my ex.....the cunt.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:01, Reply)

I know who that is
And thanks! Will you also stop TGB from putting her freezing cold feet on me?
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:03, Reply)

I have a room for the boys and a room for the girls.
Woo! No naughty shennanigans.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:07, Reply)

I can imagine you shouting
"Hey! We'll have none o' that, not under my roof!"
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:09, Reply)

Nobody is getting any while I'm not.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:16, Reply)

It wouldn't stop me
not that I'm invited or coming or anything
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:11, Reply)

I've heard your cock can penetrate dry wall
Is this true?
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:12, Reply)

I'll give it a bash tonight

(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:14, Reply)

Which one am I in?

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:12, Reply)

The hallway

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:12, Reply)

My sleeping bag

(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:14, Reply)

~~sleeping~~ wrinkly ball
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:15, Reply)

Ugh, really?
I don't see that in the slightest.
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:05, Reply)

I have strange taste in men.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:07, Reply)

Ain't that the truth!
:)
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:10, Reply)

Get them to brush their teeth and polish their cocks first

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:10, Reply)

Well done!

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:12, Reply)

Who's your ex then?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:13, Reply)

it's me.

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:16, Reply)

You bitch
you broke BGB's heart. I've got a good mind to give you what-for
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:19, Reply)

ooh matron!

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:24, Reply)

~~what-for~~ one
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:39, Reply)

A B3tan.
I'm sure if you go digging about you could find out who.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:17, Reply)

Meh

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:18, Reply)

~~digging~~ dogging
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:21, Reply)

What work should I do next?
Finance
Planning
Shitstorm
Creative

These are general headings to protect my innocence, whisch despite several attempts by Foxtrot, remains intact.
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:04, Reply)

Creative shitstorming.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:08, Reply)

Sounds like a plan!

Actually I'm going to go and tell someone I want 10k off them or I'll break their legs. Management 101 right there.
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:09, Reply)

what do you think is the best animal ever and why?

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:04, Reply)

Otters!
They're so cute and love to run around and play like little scamps!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:08, Reply)

I hovered.
FUCK YOU
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:11, Reply)

That link is already purple, this worries me and is stopping me from clicking...

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:11, Reply)

I totally fell for that.

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:16, Reply)

So long as I claim one
I'm happy.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:17, Reply)

Otters.
Because they are sooooooo cute.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:10, Reply)

what's the orbital velocity of the moon?

(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:12, Reply)

1.03 km/s mean

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:17, Reply)

awesome
i was wondering
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:17, Reply)

He was asking me.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:17, Reply)

indeed i was
it's also an extraordinarily obscure pratchett quote ;)
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:19, Reply)

what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:18, Reply)

african or european?

(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:19, Reply)

I...I don't know!
*boing*
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:20, Reply)

:D

(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:21, Reply)

I don't know.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:18, Reply)

How could Becky
have gone anywhere near the tactless, witless, irritating, unfunny spastic we all know as Bert Monkeysex?
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:19, Reply)

All women have shit taste in men,
fact.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:20, Reply)

this^
I think she must have been going through a rough patch
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:21, Reply)

She certainly did when she went down on you
Trim that shit.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:22, Reply)

I trim SOOO much
but it comes back thicker, faster, smarter, stronger
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:26, Reply)

I concurr.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:22, Reply)

hahaha

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:23, Reply)

Why is that funny?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:24, Reply)

because you sound really bitter about it

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:33, Reply)

I'm bitter about everything.
At least that fact means I occasionally have sex.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:35, Reply)

that's the kind of thing BGB would say....you've become everything you hate!
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:36, Reply)

I wasn't aware he hated me : (

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:37, Reply)

I don't hate you.

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:40, Reply)

Well I should hope not after I allowed you access to my boobs.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:40, Reply)

Seriously, that period of 4 days was spectacular
I think the boobs were the highest point
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:42, Reply)

~~highest~~ lowest
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 25 May 2010, 16:35, Reply)

I am thankful for this fact everyday

(

Peej, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:25, Reply)

I am stunned that Al has not yet cited Ms Foxtrot as an example of this

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:31, Reply)

he's dead
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/wear/8702821.stm
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:45, Reply)

Oh man I shouldn't laugh
Justice for that poor tree!
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:48, Reply)

better yet, Montgomery
she's actually gazzing me as we speak, asking me out and everything
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:26, Reply)

I'm fairly sure it's a trap
but it's one I'm more than happy to fall into
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:30, Reply)

'offering you out'
and 'asking you out' are not the same, you oaf.
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:39, Reply)

What does the former mean?

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:40, Reply)

suggesting you might like a fight

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:40, Reply)

Thank you

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:41, Reply)

offering you out
is asking them to step outside for a fight, if i'm not mistaken.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:41, Reply)

TOO SLOW ARSEBANDIT!

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:42, Reply)

And I thought we were friends

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:44, Reply)

Thank you Slowpoke :)

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:46, Reply)

Where the hell has Flim-Flam been?

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:28, Reply)

She's been to London to see the Queen.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:28, Reply)

What did she there?

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:29, Reply)

THE QUEEN
BGB said so, are you retarded? Jesus, pay attention!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:29, Reply)

BGB said she'd been to SEE her
not DO her.
So YOU pay fucking attention you cocker knocker!
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:30, Reply)

WHERE IS "DO" IN YOUR ORIGINAL COMMENT?!
I LIKE SHOUTING!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:32, Reply)

TRIIIIIO!

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:42, Reply)

She frightened a little mouse under her chair.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:30, Reply)

Awww
I'm picturing Flim-Flam with whiskers and ears
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:31, Reply)

*snuffles*

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:31, Reply)

*treats*

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:33, Reply)

*dances for cheese*

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:34, Reply)

Listen to her little paws tapping!!!

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:35, Reply)

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:45, Reply)

Oh my...

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:45, Reply)

That's ridiculously cute

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:32, Reply)

The Queen of meh?

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:29, Reply)

Up a tree... drinking tea...
with DA MAAAAAN!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:29, Reply)

Welcome back, Kotter

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:30, Reply)

Bonza skippy!
How are you doing most lovely of all the ladies!?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:31, Reply)

Tell your husband to stop bullying me.........online.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:32, Reply)

Where is this occuring?!
Why do I have a feeling you're going to say the bookyface?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:33, Reply)

It's occuring........online.
He keeps picking on me when I say something stupid.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:35, Reply)

He's policing your stupidity, which as I have found is like nailing jelly to a wall
And don't be getting his poor whiskery wife involved
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Haha! I like that description.
I just want her to keep him in check like she should be doing.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:38, Reply)

I do keep him in check
Once a month I go upside his head just so he remembers who's da boss.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:41, Reply)

Glad to hear it girlfriend.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:42, Reply)

*sings big pimpin'*

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:43, Reply)

I'm freaking untameable, me.

(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:46, Reply)

Tru dat

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:47, Reply)

I noticed that wild look in your eyes that night.
www.flickr.com/photos/xsgerry/2797557846/
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:51, Reply)

Ah well
Maybe stop saying stupid things then... crisis averted! Flim-Flam AWAAAAY! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:37, Reply)

I am doing totally bonza, thanksfrasking
Have you been making or drawing recently?
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:34, Reply)

I have been a bit crap recently and haven't done much painting
I did however take some piccys recently that I am going to paint onto canvas, I just need BIG canvas! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Could you not use a tent?

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:37, Reply)

I could...
But then what would I use for camping?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:41, Reply)

Darth Foxtrot's blouses

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Ooooh
They're so floaty!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:45, Reply)

If a farmer pays someone to errect a fence using materials the farmer has purchased himself
does the cost of labour get allocated to "Repairs and Renewals" or "Contract Labour"? Bearing in mind that contract labour is generally regarded as a direct cost of sale, not an expense.
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:40, Reply)

Repairs and renewals.
That's where I stick everything.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:41, Reply)

yeah, when I typed that out I answered my own question didn't I
I just hate dumping everything in R&R, seems lazy somehow
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Pfft!
I let the accountants sort it out at the year end.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:52, Reply)

*Bursts into tears*
but I AM the accountant...
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Hahahahahaha!
*does L sign on forehead*
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:56, Reply)

my sister is my accountant.
she said I'm one of those "nightmare clients who we tack a load of money onto the end of their bill for being annoying"
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:01, Reply)

I'm not annoying. Just aware that accountants know better than me so should fix my errors.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:01, Reply)

I would NEVER do that
*looks side-to-side in a shifty manner*
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:03, Reply)

What's more painful?
Punched on the boobs?
Or kicked on the fanny?
(

whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:42, Reply)

Kicked in the fanny

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:43, Reply)

nah I think it's the boobs,
depending on where you hit them. If it's a full on central punch that would really fucking hurt. I've bashed both parts on my pole (no pun intended) and it's definitely the boob that hurts the longest.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:02, Reply)

Fanny, every time.
Also don't call it a fanny there are ladies present… call it a foof or don’t call it at all.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Axe wound

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:46, Reply)

Is that a request?
Give me an axe and I'll see what I can do! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:47, Reply)

I wouldn't even give you scissors.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:50, Reply)

Who needs scissors
when they carry around a 'lucky chainsaw'
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:52, Reply)

Yes, don't
Call it a clunge
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:46, Reply)

what about 'The Pleasure Vulture"
?
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:47, Reply)

They get angry if you don't call them

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:47, Reply)

*nods head*

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:48, Reply)

Minge?

(

whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:47, Reply)

Flange?

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:48, Reply)

Flinge!

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:52, Reply)

Flapinger?

(

whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:58, Reply)

squish mitten

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:02, Reply)

Lala

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:04, Reply)

Fluffy sausage wallet?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:49, Reply)

"Mimsey" is pretty harmless
They even made a film out of it, "The Last Mimsey"
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:50, Reply)

The Queen had a corgi called Mimsey.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:56, Reply)

It's grip on life was quite flimsy
It jumped off the roof
But to tell you the truth
It missed and got stuck in the chimney.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:59, Reply)

Ha Ha!
you are the poet laury ate
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:01, Reply)

"Rat"

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:51, Reply)

Filth hole

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:52, Reply)

Fanny
My boobs soften any blows.
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:46, Reply)

Awooga!

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:03, Reply)

What is your favourite type of cheese?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:44, Reply)

Mexicana

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:48, Reply)

Gruyer.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:52, Reply)

is office sex really as hawt as it seems?

(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:47, Reply)

Ask a photocopier!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:48, Reply)

pfft

(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:50, Reply)

No, a photocopier.

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:51, Reply)

Not in the server room
because servers need to be cooled to be reliable so server rooms are usually quite chilly
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:48, Reply)

that sounds nice actually, you won't get all hot and sweaty

(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:51, Reply)

Woo!
You're getting all factual on everyone's asses!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:51, Reply)

I'm facting arses everywhere.
Are you coming to Al thing on the 18th?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:52, Reply)

I am
I am assuming you are which means that we will be able to continue our very detailed conversation concerning DFS sofas. I am looking forward to this.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:53, Reply)

Ha, I was going to say something about reasearching sofas before we meet again.
I just got a new table for my birthday, I'll tell you all about it.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:54, Reply)

Fantastic
I shall bring a notebook and overhead projector!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:56, Reply)

Making a powerpoint spreadsheet now.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:07, Reply)

Make it better than your excel spreadsheet
Yeah?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:14, Reply)

also the IT guy would be all anal and not in a good way
he'd be all "you can't sit there, that's where the flux capacitor goes" and there would be no sweeping of stuff off the desk, things would be gently displaced.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:04, Reply)

It was when I did it.
I had to walk like John Wayne all the way home.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:53, Reply)

Slightly beardy and drunk?

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:54, Reply)

Officelol with added coffee squirt through nose!

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:58, Reply)

*curtsies*

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 14:59, Reply)

so should I?

(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:54, Reply)

No it was a big mistake.
Learn from my mistakes.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:55, Reply)

that doesn't even make any sense
nothing you said alluded to it being a mistake
(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:58, Reply)

See post below.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:59, Reply)

sorry, still doesn't make sense
what's the point in saying it was hot and then telling me not to make the same mistake you did?
(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:10, Reply)

Because it was hot but had I known what a pillock he was then I wouldn't have bothered.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:11, Reply)

you would've

(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:13, Reply)

Wouldn't.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:15, Reply)

welllllllll we all make mistakes

(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:18, Reply)

Me more than most it seems.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:19, Reply)

nah, I reckon I've made a shit load of mistakes
we'll continue to do so
(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:23, Reply)

That's a shame.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:34, Reply)

Depends who it's with
If you're both single (look at me with my values and morals), both attracted to each other, both adult to be on the same page, then sure go for it.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:57, Reply)

That's true.
The guy I was with was another cunt I made the mistake of hooking up with. Your guy may differ.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:58, Reply)

I don't understand this whole "morals" business.

(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:08, Reply)

They're a mushroom aren't they?

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:09, Reply)

Then bend over the desk/photocopier/water fountain
And let him fuck you.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:11, Reply)

I didn't realise that was the standard office sex position
besides, who's to say it is a man?
(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:15, Reply)

You soon will

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:16, Reply)

With spurs on?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 14:54, Reply)

What is the record for most replies to a post?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:00, Reply)

Let's keep going and see, shall we?

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:02, Reply)

I want to help.

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:05, Reply)

What colour of pepparami do you endorse?

(

whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:06, Reply)

None.
I'm a vegetarian. Have a piece of fruit instead.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:07, Reply)

As a vegetarian
Are there some animals that you think are more eatable than others?

For example, a puppy dog would be a big no-no, but a tasty pig? Surely?
(

whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:08, Reply)

I really hope she replies with
"hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'll never know because I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker"
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:09, Reply)

Fish are fair game. Slippery little fuckers.
I eat fish.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:09, Reply)

That's fine
they do taste splendid. Grilled Mackarel being my favourite.
(

whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:12, Reply)

then you're not a vegetarian
*possible inflammatory remark*
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:45, Reply)

I'm one of those funny named vegetarians innit.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:49, Reply)

pescatarian?

(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:50, Reply)

aye
that's the jobby
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:54, Reply)

don't listen to BGB
have the red one
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:08, Reply)

Blue.
Blue is the way to go.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:11, Reply)

there's a blue one?

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:12, Reply)

No,
I don't know what pepperami is.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:13, Reply)

More massive lies from applebite.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:15, Reply)

I think the answer you were looking for was
"no, I don't know what peperami is"
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:15, Reply)

The true answer to all is BLACK
like the answer to anything to do with sausage.
(

whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:16, Reply)

is the black one the really hot one?
or is there one in a bun or something? (which may have been blue)
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:20, Reply)

Yes
a.k.a. Fire Stick. It's not as hot as Dave's insanity sauce but enough to tingle my tongue.
(

whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:24, Reply)

Then I was right!
Maybe
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:27, Reply)

possibly
google didn't return anything conclusive either way

admittedly I didn't look very hard
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:28, Reply)

Oh sorry
Better?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:18, Reply)

yep much
thanks
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:20, Reply)

To be honest.
I read the original post as pepperoni rather than pepperami.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:21, Reply)

Now my reply doesn't make sense.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:21, Reply)

double points for Applebite then

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:23, Reply)

don't encourage her.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:24, Reply)

HAHAHA
In your face, loser.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:27, Reply)

When did Bert come back?
Recently!?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 15:07, Reply)

today or yesterday
he has yet to be funny
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:08, Reply)

he's been angry and creepy,
he's working up to funny.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:09, Reply)

he got stuck right in to 'dangerously close to the line'

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:11, Reply)

Really?
Oh dear, so he probably won't be around for long then!?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 15:13, Reply)

Ah okay
I did wonder.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 15:11, Reply)

I have my review at work on Friday,
What should I wear to impress?
(

Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:10, Reply)

arseless chaps

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:11, Reply)

Gah!
I was just about to put that.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:12, Reply)

I thought all chaps are arseless
Else they're called 'trousers'.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:12, Reply)

not quite as funny if you leave off the arseless bit

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:15, Reply)

Cowboy bender pants?

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:17, Reply)

is how they will be known from now on

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:18, Reply)

Some of the guys are a bit areseless

(

Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Your boss' daughter or son as a feed bag

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:12, Reply)

A great big 80's power suit
with big ol' shoulder pads! Its just screams 'I'M TOTALLY BRILLZO'
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 15:12, Reply)

I've got one, but the moths have been at it.
It screams of WINO, more than anything else.
(

Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:18, Reply)

Gimp mask.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:12, Reply)

bit difficult to make eye contact.
and terribly sweaty in this weather.
(

Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:19, Reply)

A dark grey suit with a white shirt and pink tie.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:12, Reply)

only gays and the welsh wear pink
(yes chompy, I'm homophobic and racist)
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:13, Reply)

Only real men wear pink.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:16, Reply)

is that because real man have no idea about what looks good?

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Only hetero guys who are confidant with their sexuality wear pink.
See above.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:17, Reply)

pink doesn't look good
that's the main issue I have with it
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Then you haven't tried the right shade of pink.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:18, Reply)

you know what shades of pink look good?
the ones that are red or white
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:19, Reply)

Pink doesn't really look good on anybody

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:18, Reply)

I knew I could count on you

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:20, Reply)

If only I still had my extra toes
You could have counted further
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:20, Reply)

I beg to differ.
I look good in pink......surprisingly.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:20, Reply)

*sings*
"Prettyyyyy in piiiinnnnkkkk. Isn't she pretty in pink....."
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:25, Reply)

*squeezes brain*
Nope can't remember! who sang it?
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:26, Reply)

The Psychedelic Furs.
Edit - I was about to add that it was used in a crap 80s film but couldn't remember the name of it. After googling I have discovered that the film is "Pretty in Pink." which is rather obvious.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:34, Reply)

I knew it had an F in it somewhere.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:49, Reply)

^ this
although i'll allow my daughter to get away with it. she's 7.
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:21, Reply)

No!
Don't encourage it.
She'll grow up loving it and even buying pink tape measures and hammers.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:22, Reply)

Khaki and pink looks fantastic.
I used to wear khaki combats and pink t-shirts, but dark pink and not pale pink.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:24, Reply)

Oh good god no
My auntie gave me a hoodie in those colours.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:26, Reply)

Did you watch timewarp wives last night.
It was about couples living and dressing in the forties and fifties.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:28, Reply)

Ooh no but I've seen one of those before :)

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:29, Reply)

They looked awesome.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:31, Reply)

I'd love to live like that

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:33, Reply)

I thought you might : )

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:36, Reply)

well we don't drastically
her mum and I generally hunt for clothes that aren't that colour. but when you're buying stuff for small girls, finding nice things that aren't pink can be a struggle!

i think we have it under control for the moment.
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:30, Reply)

I approve

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:30, Reply)

marvellous!

(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:33, Reply)

Looking around my office, three guys are wearing pink shirts
All of them are bellends.
Science doesn't lie.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:18, Reply)

Pink is essential; I have many pink shirts and I am awesome

Denying pink as a good colour is the same as that boy at school overly protesting that he wasn't gay only to be caught noshing off a Tory MP on his 18th birthday on Hampstead Heath.

Your scared of the envitability that your fear of pink will lead you to suck off William Hague.
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:32, Reply)

Pink is a double bluff.
The wearers are in Narnia.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Wedding Dress

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:13, Reply)

Ding ding ding
WINNAH!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Dress and talk like a pirate.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:18, Reply)

I sort of do already
except for the parrot, crutch, hat, wild hair, etc, etc.

I do feel like a pirate, at any rate.
(

Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:22, Reply)

Bring a sword and mention 'booty'.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:39, Reply)

I'll borrow one of Monty's

(

Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:44, Reply)

Don't touch his pink one.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:53, Reply)

Noted.

(

Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:59, Reply)

Brown corduroy

I initially thought, there's no way that's the correct spelling. But it is.
(

whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:18, Reply)

don't diss brown corduroy

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:19, Reply)

Brown corduroy
Is boring and shit.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:20, Reply)

would you accept brown corduroy flares as acceptable work attire in a fairly casual office?

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:21, Reply)

No.
Corduroy is for old people. If you're old, then that's fine.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:25, Reply)

bugger

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:30, Reply)

Flares are never acceptable unless live in the 60's or are a 14 year old girl.

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:33, Reply)

I look good in flares.
Skinny jeans make my legs look like tiny little pins.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:33, Reply)

don't be ridiculous
I look like a fucking spastic with straight trousers, as do a lot of people

bootcut is for women, so flares are the only option.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:35, Reply)

Skinny jeans are what you want, everyone looks good in those
Seriously though I suspect you've never found a decent pair of trousers to fit you if you think all straight legs look spastic.
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:42, Reply)

I've been buying and wearing trousers for some time believe it or not
I wear straight trousers with a suit, which is fine

but when talking about jeans it is definitely better to have some bagginess over the shoe region.

I'm not talking massive volcano looking flares by any means. They don't have extra triangles of cloth sewn in or anything.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:44, Reply)

fat legs in skinny jeans look like carrots

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:09, Reply)

Not if it looks like you're wearing volcanoes for trousers

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:23, Reply)

they're not that flared :-P

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:24, Reply)

This is the only acceptable use of brown corduroy trousers.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:24, Reply)

I'm not dissing!
I think it would be wonderful to wear an all-in-one brown corduroy garment to a review.
(

whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:20, Reply)

I'm wearing black corduroy trousers
Yeeaaahhhh
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:22, Reply)

Only Marcus Brigstocke can wear this and get away with it

(

Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:26, Reply)

Morph suit!

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:19, Reply)

Morph into what?

(

Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:25, Reply)

www.morphsuits.com/
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:26, Reply)

I like the idea,
but my bollocks would be too prominent.
(

Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:29, Reply)

Nah, they wouldn't
You really can't tell that much.

Or, wear a normal suit with one of these underneath.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:31, Reply)

Depending on who is reviewing you
that could be beneficial!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 15:31, Reply)

I've seen a couple of people wearing those around town.
The people that wear them are without exception, cunts.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:29, Reply)

Morphsuits are ace,
You're just OLD and BORING
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:32, Reply)

You're just a FIRST year STUDENT
even you'll hate them when you get to the third year.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:34, Reply)

First day of the second year I suppose.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:34, Reply)

Nope.
I do intend to retain my sense of humour throughout uni.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:37, Reply)

it will be a student sense of humour though
not worth having.

novelty things are generally not amusing
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Trust me on this,
I'm correct.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:40, Reply)

I saw someone dressed as the Chief
outside the cinema. It was awesome.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:10, Reply)

They look like zentai suits to me

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:34, Reply)

A great 'team player'

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 15:27, Reply)

I'm a team player, but only if I'm the captain.

(

Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:30, Reply)

How long is it permissable to be in a changing room after a gym session,
before I'm an official shirter.
Rather than an unofficial one obviously.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 25 May 2010, 15:25, Reply)

It depends which school you break into and how old they are.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:48, Reply)

Why did the chicken cross the road?

(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 25 May 2010, 15:25, Reply)

To get to the other side.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:26, Reply)

Could life really be that simple?

(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 25 May 2010, 15:29, Reply)

It is for chickens.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:32, Reply)

I feel this exchange should be in webcomic format.

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:11, Reply)

Knickers:
Silk or lace?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:29, Reply)

Lace
Frenchies FTW
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:30, Reply)

^this

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:32, Reply)

Let me answer that.
Silk, every time, with a little bit of lace detail.
(

Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:31, Reply)

Lace,
I'm not a fan of silk.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:31, Reply)

Lace for everyday
But silk can be magic
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:32, Reply)

Also if you wear silk knickers
and dive onto the bed, you'll slide right off - they're a bloody health hazard is what they are!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 15:34, Reply)

You can also go slidey on your husband though...

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:35, Reply)

I could but he'd have to catch me in mid-slide
I'd probably end up braining him!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 15:37, Reply)

Hugby tackle!

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:38, Reply)

I once bought a satin duvet and sheet set
and everytime you turn over the duvet slides right off the bed, it's so fucking annoying.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:12, Reply)

gross
silk is gross
lace is delicate and pretty
(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:37, Reply)

How's it gross?
You is krazy, Kristine!
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:38, Reply)

I place silk and velvet in the same skanky category.
Would you wear velvet pants?
(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:41, Reply)

Velvet is fluffy!!
Are you sure you're not thinking of satin or sateen?
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:43, Reply)

oh you so caught me, I WAS thinking of satin.
However, Velvet is still gross.
(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:47, Reply)

Yeah it is that little bit sweatier.
But aesthetically it clings well so I'll forgive it. Silk is fresh and smooth.
Somebody bought me velveteen underwear once. Blurgh.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:48, Reply)

I'm wearing silky ones today,
Not actual silk though *sadface*
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Satin has its merits

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:42, Reply)

You're going against the general opinion of offtopic
gutted.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:44, Reply)

They're the only pair of silky ones I own.
All my others are lace and/or seethrough.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:47, Reply)

Lies
I bet you have a pair of big, old, comfy pants for certain times of the month. Every girl does.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:48, Reply)

Nope
None of my knickers are big, and I love underwear shopping so much that I have to throw out the old to make room for the new on a regular basis.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:50, Reply)

Some of my knicks are 'big' ie shorts
but they are still lacy and nice.
I do not do vicar's nicars
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:51, Reply)

Oh yeah.
I have a couple of pairs of short-type ones. But these are my most sexy see through ones, a red pair, and a white and navy pair I like to call my sailor knickers.
Me neither, No white cotton full cover briefs for me, thank you very much!
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:57, Reply)

No they don't

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:50, Reply)

Ok, every girl I've had a relationship with does
Although that really isn't saying much.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:51, Reply)

I just have black ones for that time of the month
they're not particularly granny like.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:13, Reply)

red with polka dots on:)

(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:31, Reply)

:(

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:32, Reply)

hahaha

(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:41, Reply)

Silk for posing and feeling delicious
Lace for no VPL
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:31, Reply)

None.

(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 25 May 2010, 15:31, Reply)

cotton.

(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:32, Reply)

~~cotton~~ massive
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:32, Reply)

No, that's boring.

(

Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:33, Reply)

ARE YOU WEARING THEM?
I want to wear cotton.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:34, Reply)

Silk boxers today
allowing a little breeze in.

and a gale out.
(

Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:37, Reply)

I don't like cotton ones.
Lace is much more comfortable.

And see through.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:34, Reply)

See through is a huge plus

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:37, Reply)

Like a trailer for a film

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:42, Reply)

100% agree with this

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:46, Reply)

ruining the best punchlines?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:47, Reply)

Punchlines?
Hate to break it to you, but not everyone's genitals provoke laughter...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:57, Reply)

ha!

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:16, Reply)

Merkin

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:34, Reply)

What?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:35, Reply)

Pubic wig

popularised by prostitutes in olden days as they ahd to shave to keep the lice away, but punters still liked a bit of bush.

Also slang for an American, because they're all cunts
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:38, Reply)

Ahhh, I see.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:39, Reply)

*coughs*
Apart from Kristine.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Of course, I won't stoop to a winky smilie to denote cheekiness
people can work it out for themselves
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:44, Reply)

that's right, I kissed a midget, you fucks better love me
ta, BGB xx
(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:48, Reply)

Nice.

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Hahahahaha

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 15:38, Reply)

Lace
Frenchies or thongs.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:35, Reply)

Thongs are NOT aesthetically pleasing
No matter how fine the wearer is
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:37, Reply)

^This
Urgh!
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:37, Reply)

Thirded
Thongs are nothing but a glorified, permanent wedgie.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:38, Reply)

^This

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Agreed
Urgh
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:41, Reply)

I disagree
It does depend on the wearer, but a hot girl in a thong is a thing of beauty.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:37, Reply)

Too true
But eventually she'd get orange-bum and you'd have to take her thongs away... do you want to do that?!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Could make an angel look like a complete dog

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Only if this angel has an arse like the moon
In size and consistency.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Nope
They're vile and cheap, and not in a cool slutty way
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:41, Reply)

I'm not talking about the chavs with their Primark thongs sticking out the waistband of their trackies
Eugh.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:42, Reply)

please see O'Neil sponsored beach babe competitions for confirmation.
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:39, Reply)

They're all freaks
Those Reef girls have circle bums, how is this possible, they must never sit down... EVER!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Oh reef sorry
I suspect that they have inflatable arses, that way they can double as life saving floats.
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:43, Reply)

You can tell I have a husband who likes the ladies bottoms
I know they're Reef girls! :)

Life-saving buttocks!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 15:44, Reply)

Dragons Den here we come!

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:45, Reply)

Woo woo!
I'm bloody in!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 15:46, Reply)

but the same girl would look a shitload better with the arse wrapped in some lacy french knickers

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:40, Reply)

I do prefer girls in lacy french knickers
But also think a hot girl in a thong is boner-worthy.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:41, Reply)

Jeremy Kyle-worthy
And she has chlamydia
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:41, Reply)

SCUUUUM!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 15:42, Reply)

Such anger and hatred
I didn't invent them, I just thing SOME girls can pull them off (hurr hurr), and do indeed think that lacy french knicks are made of win.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:44, Reply)

THIS

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:41, Reply)

Lace
Though I guess silk would be ok for special occasions
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:42, Reply)

Shirley...
Lace for knickers, silk for a negligée?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:50, Reply)

latex!
www.etsy.com/listing/45023077/latex-polka-dot-panties?ref=sr_list_16&ga_search_query=latex+polka+dot&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_page=&includes[]=tags&includes[]=title
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:18, Reply)

Why can't I do quick reply anymore?

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:43, Reply)

Because you're gay

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:45, Reply)

Yes, exactly; I've butt fucked the reply mechanism into breaking

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:49, Reply)

OH WELL THAT'S JUST FUCKING TYPICAL, ISN'T IT?
THE MODS GIVE US THIS FANCY NEW FEATURE AND YOU BUM IT TO PIECES.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:51, Reply)

It seems to come and go
like a snail in the night.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 15:45, Reply)

Is that how you explain the curious trail of slimy stuff you find on your belly each morning?
_{If so, I'm in the clear...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:46, Reply)

Good lord man!
And I thought you were so nice when I met you - all debonair and shit. Sad face.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 15:49, Reply)

Debonair? Moi?
I'm obviously more deceptive than I'd given myself credit for...being able to make polite conversation doesn't make me any less of a colossal pervert than anybody else on this board, I'm afraid.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:51, Reply)

I feel cheated
:(
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 15:57, Reply)

To be honest, I'm surprised you don't wake up
As I clamber in through your window and set up my snail grand prix, complete with running commentary, on your stomach.

_{That's exactly what I meant. Honest.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:03, Reply)

Hmmm...
Well I'm closing my windows tonight... so HA!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 16:08, Reply)

ARSE
FOILED AGAIN!

Where am I to race my snails now?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:14, Reply)

I can,

(

Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:46, Reply)

God damn it I clicked this expecting to say "I CAN"
but it took me straight here. Odd.

Though yes, it's coming and going.
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:48, Reply)

Like a rapist.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:50, Reply)

I cannot wait for you to come down
I had a feeling of guilt about youknowwhat, but then realised he deserves it.
We need to work out details ;)
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:52, Reply)

Oh my god are you two going to do a Brandy & Monica on some guy you both did??

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:53, Reply)

Applebite and I have not shared a man
That would be hitting out of our leagues for both of us, in opposite ways
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:55, Reply)

We do both like gayish, girly types though.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:59, Reply)

Ah, pretty boys <3

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:00, Reply)

you may as well just start lezzing it up

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:00, Reply)

Ooh quick reply's back.
I don't like minge. I like girls and breasts, but not minge

(I had this conversation on Saturday :D )
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:03, Reply)

You should go to Thailand

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:04, Reply)

that's what I was going to say
or you could roger each other with a double ended dildo
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:05, Reply)

I wish I was all hip and groovy and
was all curious and kissed ladies.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 16:11, Reply)

I wish I was all hip and groovy
and kissed ladies.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:13, Reply)

One day...
one day... perhaps we should go chasing tail together?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 16:14, Reply)

The judge said I wasn't allowed to
and said I had to wear a funny bracelet on my ankle.

And my mother sighed like she normally does and looked disappointed. She said the bracelet meant I wouldn't be able to leave the house or the garden, and if I took it off then I'd be in lots and lots of trouble, and the men would take me away again and they'd make me stay somewhere far away from her.

But at night I take it off. I take it off and sneak out of the house. Nobody's seen me yet. As long as I'm back home before the sun comes up and I've got the bracelet back on, they'll never know, and I can carry on looking for people to play with.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:19, Reply)

Wicked groovy!
What's your time limit like, we'll work something out - you don't need to tell your mum and you can bring your snails too!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 16:21, Reply)

The summertime works against me
With its late sunsets and early sunrises.

It's important that nobody sees me...if I get caught, they'll take me away from Mummy and my snails...but I need to play. Mummy kept saying I needed to find friends of my own age, so that's all I'm doing.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:30, Reply)

I kiss ladies
It's fun. Very fun.

A friend came out to me while I was straddling her lap in my ex's and her current boyfriend's garden. Loooooool.
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:14, Reply)

No, half chinese-Malaysian for me plz :(

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:07, Reply)

Yeah, I like minge
But I'm currently fancying the pants off my unavailable flatmate.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:06, Reply)

Male or female?

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:08, Reply)

My flatmate is female.
But I've also realised I'm still nuts about my ex who's just returned to the country.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:10, Reply)

do you know anyone you don't fancy?

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:14, Reply)

You

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:19, Reply)

she doesn't really know me

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:20, Reply)

True
I think you and I are too old (and too attached) to care though.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:21, Reply)

this is true
also, I'm definitely not her type.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:27, Reply)

Bummer :(
Well, you never know. You might find the right person down in london... ;)
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:15, Reply)

Oh, it's something far more epic
If they're discussing what I think they're discussing.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:55, Reply)

Did I tell you? I think I did

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:56, Reply)

You did outline the gist of your maniacal plan to me last Friday
But fear not, my beak is sealed.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:00, Reply)

I'm getting more excited by the day :D
Haha, no doubt it was only fleeting. We do! But not now, I'm about to go out. I need to pop to fallowfield before I head into town for Poletimes with Kitty.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:55, Reply)

I'll gaz you soon.
I'm actually cackling to myself. Enjoy the poles. I miss Fallowfield :(
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:56, Reply)

Righto.
I'm rubbing my hands together in evil glee.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:58, Reply)

I can't wait to see what hilarious pranks you have in store for this unnamed person.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:18, Reply)

Right I'm off to the gym.
Make it an epic thread my fellow B3tans.
(

girlinthehole, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:52, Reply)

Some 559 replies...
You must be going for a record here.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:53, Reply)

It's getting a bit unreadable.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:55, Reply)

When has that ever stopped us?

(

Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:57, Reply)

Let's break the record
~~the record~~ the servers
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 15:57, Reply)

b3ta is just hosted on a desktop computer,
cr3 linked to a photo of it once.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:00, Reply)

So much hangs in the balance...

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:02, Reply)

Is this the biggest OT thread since records began?

(

Peej, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:13, Reply)

Our Answermaster has buggered off to the gym
We'll never know!!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 25 May 2010, 16:15, Reply)

it's still going pretty well though

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:38, Reply)

I think someone needs to go through all 300+ pages of /OT and see if they can find a longer one
Fnar, fnar.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 25 May 2010, 16:46, Reply)

« Go Back | Reply To This »

Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1