Bizler the old twat
Use to work in a bar and without fail every morning this old fart use to come in bang on opening and winge about everything.

This morning he came in and was wingeing on about the football he was watching the night previously:

"Was watching the football last night, not a single white bastard on the pitch, they where all black niggas, diving about like bloody hooligans, wasn't a game, no wingers"

I kind of thought this was strange as I didn't think there was any football on the night before, so I checked.

Turns out the old fucker had been watching a Africa Cup of Nations game.
(thecapt, Fri 2 Apr 2010, 22:06, 11 replies)

So, your story is 'old man watches football'?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 2 Apr 2010, 22:37, closed)

So your story is "I missed the point of what was being said"?

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 3 Apr 2010, 1:11, closed)

Boy does he tell that one a lot...

(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Sun 4 Apr 2010, 15:14, closed)

Well
that made me laugh out loud.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Fri 2 Apr 2010, 23:05, closed)

Don't read the Anecdote Kings section of the Archive, you'll have an asthma attack.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 2 Apr 2010, 23:16, closed)

But
I don't have asthma.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Fri 2 Apr 2010, 23:25, closed)

Apparently
you do.
(horizons, Fri 2 Apr 2010, 23:49, closed)

*gasps*
*wheeeeze*
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Sat 3 Apr 2010, 0:11, closed)

This
is EPIC WIN - best laugh I've had in ages.
(zero.coke, Sat 3 Apr 2010, 0:05, closed)

Sounds like an old guy in a pub I used to work in.
(reesy22, Sat 3 Apr 2010, 0:08, closed)

You used to work in an old guy in a pub?
*snigger*
( snee held his breath since, Tue 6 Apr 2010, 12:23, closed)