chocolate hostage
if your like me and your not too keen on sitting on other peoples toilet seats, whether they be scummy public toilets or just not your own, i have developed a habit that i do every time i drop off a chocolate hostage. often in the past i used to resort to the very uncomfortable and unreliable "hover" over the bowl technique, sitting on my hands, laying toilet paper out neatly covering the toilet seat, or just braving the chill factor and just going bare-assed.

i told my mates this and they just laughed but i think its a stroke of genius. simple really... when you pull your trousers down about to take said shit... dont pull your boxers down all the way. you can easily pull your underwear down half way, sit on them and not shit yourself. if you have a penis, like me, you can tuck it under your underwear so it is facing in the bowl. because we all know when you take a shit that little bit of piss comes out too.

it saves time, its comfortable.

im thinking of developing this and going on dragons den with a boxer/toiletseat warmer prototype. although im too scared their just going to poo-poo my idea.
(arse_biscuit, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 15:42, Reply)

I'll tell ye what, arse biscuit...
...I'm oot.
(Dr Skagra Only water passes my lips, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 13:23, Reply)

listen to your mates
more
(Ring Of Fire YOU LOOKING AT ME! that's nice, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 22:54, Reply)

Hold on
"sitting on your hands"?

You don't want you arse to touch someone else's loo seat but you are happy to touch it with your hands!
( Mrs Liveinabin is the only person left who uses indicators, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 15:57, Reply)

I think he just doesn't like the cold
Brrrr
( Pigeoncow is lurking on, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 10:21, Reply)

This sounds like a mental disorder.
Get help.
(FelchMyBelch looking forward to an eternity in Hell since, Sat 1 Nov 2008, 15:31, Reply)

Not that strange...
A lot of women do this (that I know anyway). It's either toilet paper or hover.
(misstrix, Sun 16 Nov 2008, 1:55, Reply)