Got 1st mortgage at 30.
Inherited house/money (sold house, invested money very carefully), paid off mortgage on 1st house. Leased to a good friend at a very friendly rate. Bought current home outright (no mortgage or debt ever again. Ever.) Own both cars.
10 years later, investment dividends provide nice annual income by "skimming the cream" without having to touch the capital - the missus and I only work because we choose to.

Insure your parents and make sure you have a good alibi.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 22 Jul 2013, 1:26, 3 replies)

nobody cares.
have you tried reddit?
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 5:49, closed)

janet,
if what I have to say so annoys you that you must post rude and disrespectful responses to pretty much each and every post I make - have you thought of maybe putting me on "Ignore"?

I'm sure it would save you a lot of aggro and upset.

Unfortunately for me it would mean that I couldn't post these glib replies that seem to enrage you so much... But, I can live with that. That being said if I'm logged out and happen to come across one your seething, boiled-piss posts I may have trouble not commenting - but just think, everyone apart from you would be able to see it.
That's got to be better than all the diazepam and vodka in world, right?
NB.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 22 Jul 2013, 5:57, closed)

disrespectful?
have you suffered some sort of brain injury?
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 13:12, closed)

Be nice.
Having relatives die and living off their money is the only thing that's keeping the poor fat fuck off the breadline.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 7:58, closed)

0758.
Shouldn't you be at work shambo?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 22 Jul 2013, 10:55, closed)

Shambo,
I don't really get why you are trying to goad me into being pissed off about my mother dying.
Trust me, after watching her manage to get her PhD whilst the cancer spread from her lungs to her brain - anything you say is lightweight.
I say this sincerely - if your parents are still alive, I hope they die peacefully asleep in their beds.
If not, well keep trying to goad me. And enjoy your break from here.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 22 Jul 2013, 11:08, closed)

I'm sure you're not pissed off.
It's allowed you to maintain the lower middle class life you'd never have achieved on your own.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 11:19, closed)

Boring post about house ownership aside, McUglywife is right about not wanting to watch your parents die of cancer. You really don't.
( chthonic, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 15:51, closed)

Pretty sure I knew that and didn't suggest otherwise ... you know ... what with not being a monstrous psychopath.
But thanks like.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 15:59, closed)

"if your parents are still alive, I hope they die"
EHRMAHGURD!!1! MODS!!!1
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 11:29, closed)

what's the point of getting a PhD on your deathbed?
that takes showing off to ridiculous heights.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 13:15, closed)

I should imagine it distracted her from the disappointment of her son
and gave her something to do while she developed the cancer cover story and took her own life.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 14:11, closed)

Pfft!
Now that's cruelty!

Well done that man.
(Queen of the Harpies, a dedicated Marshmallow puppet, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 17:18, closed)

This isn't quite smug enough.
Nice try, Ringo, but you're no LIEmallow.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 9:51, closed)

Liemallow bought all his imaginary houses with imaginary money that he imagined himself.
He's not a porky poshboy immigrant living off mummy's pennies.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 10:04, closed)

More than just
"living off" & much more than "pennies".

Remember that when you are sitting there at work. :-)

My mum would be well proud, and she was a stingy bitch!
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 22 Jul 2013, 10:15, closed)

This is more like it!
Could you maybe drain your pool, then fill it with all those pennies and swim about like Scrooge McDuck?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 10:23, closed)

No. But there's freshly roasted
Huey, Dewey and Louie at the next bbq for all attendees.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 22 Jul 2013, 10:30, closed)

i have only ever eaten duck when cooked in a chinese.
I may have to try it on the barbie
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 11:41, closed)

I wouldn't.
Magret is too fatty. You can griddle it but if you lob it straight on the grill it'll shoot flames eight foot high. And legs need slow cooking.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 11:44, closed)

slow cooked duck
might be an option then in a nice sauce.
Though 8 foot high flames sounds fun
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 11:58, closed)

I once set fire to a lilac with duck fat flames
in what Guinness have officially recorded the most middle-class arson EVER.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 12:03, closed)

Did you insist that they use Perrier to put it out?

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 12:37, closed)

Yup.
As I sit here making the world better I'm constantly wishing I was a chinless underachiever who's satisfied with a life more mediocre than the one he was born into.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 10:29, closed)

Oh Fucking Jesus God!
Finally a benchmark that I can work towards.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 22 Jul 2013, 10:31, closed)

I'm well acquainted with Jesus.
That's not Him.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 11:06, closed)

I bet that hippy cunt never had a property empire.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 11:16, closed)

His dad had a thriving carpentry business
until he went bankrupt from the pressure of having to fund his son when he went and joined that Wacky cult thing. The worst of it was he wasnt even his real dad!!!
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 11:43, closed)

Typical crustafarian.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 11:45, closed)

there was the time
all his mates came round and got stoned but there wasn't enough food in the house and all he had to feed them with was cod in breadcrumbs
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 11:59, closed)

Or cashed in on a terrorist attack with his moped.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 11:17, closed)

Or hacked tweenage girls' email.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 11:17, closed)

Forgot to mention his SUV and 40,000 litre walrus tank

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 18:35, closed)

No, he drove Liemallow away.
The bastard.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 19:52, closed)

h8erz gonna h8

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 23 Jul 2013, 0:50, closed)