A few days after I split up with my ex-wife...
...I met a couple of her church buddies for lunch. One of whom spent the whole hour berating me, including the immortal line (delivered complete with Wagging Finger of Truth) "You haven't done all you could to save your marriage, therefore God isn't going to bless your current situation!"

A couple of days later I got a phone call from a chap at Guitarist magazine, who said "Do you remember entering a competition for an ESP guitar? Well you've won! Where would you like it delivered?"

A couple more days later and I was the proud owner of one of these :)
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 15:33, 15 replies)

Your ex-wife's church buddy was correct. God didn't bless that.
The Devil has all the best tunes, remember?
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 15:35, closed)

Haha!
Oh yeah, I forgot about that :)
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 16:05, closed)

Holy crap that's pretty!
Last time I entered a Total Guitar comp, I got a phone call a week or two later and almost wet my pants but all they wanted was a subscription renewal :( pissflaps.
( SauronWibble I'll hold it, you lick it..., Thu 28 Apr 2011, 15:38, closed)

no-one else entered the competition as that guitar is complete shite*

*has no idea, but it's not a banjo . . . ergo . . . SHITE!


( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 15:39, closed)

I
love my Banjo.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 15:47, closed)

How often?
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 15:48, closed)

Daaaaaaaaaaayve!
*running glomps*

It's like a banjo... erm... kind of...
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 16:07, closed)

how is it?
I strongly dislike Les Pauls and am thus dubious about anything the same shape
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 15:50, closed)

Very, very nice :)
So nice in fact, that I bought another one - in purple.

I don't usually name my guitars, but this one is Jess
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 16:13, closed)

that purple one is really very nice.
appropriate.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 16:28, closed)

Rather than just "very very nice", a little explanation:
It's thinner and lighter than a Les Paul, with a slightly smaller neck and 24 frets. Generally more user-friendly on stage; easier top-fret access, less back-ache at the end of the gig :)
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 16:17, closed)

sounds like they have got a Les Paul and changed the bad bits then :-)

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 16:27, closed)

Pretty much, yeah!
The EMG pickups too, are just IMMENSE. Forgot to mention them :)
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 16:40, closed)

The ankh and the colour make me think of Prince.
No idea whether this is like any of Prince's guitars or not, as I know nowt about guitars, but it looks like a lovely bit of instrument.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 16:33, closed)

Nice win!

(dchurch bah, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 16:00, closed)