A Friend who used to be an air hostess
was referred to as "the Flying Mattress" by her disapproving grandmother.
( Roland E O'Dorant R Tape loading error, 0:1, Thu 18 May 2006, 20:36, Reply)

I am ginger
and I have collected many names over the years

Ginge
Ginger
Ginger Minge
The Ginger Whinger
The Ginger Ninja
Carrot Top
Copper Nob
Duracell
Tango Man
Lucozade (!!?!!?)
Jaffa
Outspan
etc.

I'm interested if anyone can beat this list.
( Roland E O'Dorant R Tape loading error, 0:1, Thu 18 May 2006, 20:34, Reply)

Humper
I have a friend called Humper, because during the first week of university, when we have the whole Frosh Week dealie, he did everything he was told.

During one event, the frosh leader pointed at something and said "Hey, go hump that!"

He did.

This developed into a repeated pattern for the entire week.

Seven years later, many people don't know his real name. I actually had to think for a while to remember what it is just now.
(dragonrose, Thu 18 May 2006, 20:33, Reply)

Nik Nak
There was this kid when I was at school people called 'Nik Nak'... not because he bore any resemblance to a Bond villain, but because he had some kind of deformity that meant his head was mishapen like the crisp... harsh...
(Siu Loong, Thu 18 May 2006, 20:33, Reply)

Pirate
There's this guy called James Taylor that I know (no, not the singer/songwriter), who was once called pirate by some people because they said his dad looked like one, or something like that. Now, 4 or so years later, no-one calls him anything BUT pirate. When I introduce him to people, I still go "this is pir- i mean, err.. what's your name again"

Nicknames are fun for everyone except the nicknamee.

I was once called Frock, because of a rumour that circulated, stating I had a very small freckle dead pan in the centre of my knob. Freckle + Cock. Get it?


It wasn't a rumour.
( Naive Amoeba Bored Cig, Thu 18 May 2006, 20:33, Reply)

Everyone in our company has a nickname
up to the point that I have no idea what some people's names are.
Ripper, Egghead, Pablo, Mule, Lidl Caaant, Inchy, Piggy, Sapper, Shrek, Lurch, Bollock, Whisty, Toby, Mongoose, Chopper, Mirrorman, the list is endless, and they all have nice little stories as to how each person gained there name.
Except Cuntface, he's just a bastard.
( nnnndave, Thu 18 May 2006, 20:32, Reply)

fit fit fit
There was a kid at school called Raymond.

We called him "fit" because if you chanted "fit" at him, he had one.

If we'd all been born a few years later, we'd have called him Rain Man.
( finnbar has officially retired, Thu 18 May 2006, 20:28, Reply)

Worst school trip ever.
Somehow in my early secondary school years I had aquired the nickname 'Moonface', apparently because my head was round and white (it wasn't). I hated this nickname, and anyone who called me it faced the reply of 'fuck off cuntshoes'. Eventually though, I just started ignoring it.

However, we took at school trip to the jurassic coast for a joint geography/history project. All was going swimmingly until lunchtime when about half the opposite class (our school was divided into tiers, upper to lower, which were divided into upper and lower again and then split in two) started chanting 'MOONFACE' at me.

I'd like to say that I went up to one one of them and put him in intensive care. However, I wasn't that sort of kid. I just ignored it. I did, however toy with the idea of jumping off the cliff; not because I was emo or anything, just to teach them a lesson.

Thankfully my intense ignoring led to the nickname being forgotten completely by GCSEs, although during then I aquired another one, 'Liam Lloyd' because I apparently looked like a science teacher called Mr. Lloyd. Said science teacher fell out of a tree and died shortly after people started calling me that though, so that was alright then.
( Lightguy hail satan, Thu 18 May 2006, 20:25, Reply)

There's a reason I suggested this as a QOTW
When we were at school, we had a kid in a wheelchair, whose real name escapes me.

We called him Biff, because Spina Bifida was too long.
( Roland E O'Dorant R Tape loading error, 0:1, Thu 18 May 2006, 20:23, Reply)

Sucy Dinks
...In grown up language, 'Lucy (my name)Stinks'

I was subjected to this for many years from my younger cousin/evil brother after sliding down a slide said cousin had pissed all over.

I should have known when he warned me, but of course, I knew better...
(loochery, Thu 18 May 2006, 20:20, Reply)

I've had more than a couple
A brief selection:

Hamburger / Cheeseburger - from the latter years of junior school. No idea.

Garrota - after the composting accelerator, it would appear. Scouts.

Jezebel - scouts. Annoying.

Smelly - developed by a Billy Bunter-alike, to place me on the lowest level of the pecking order at school. That he was four years younger than me didn't help. Nor did having a hundred first-years chanting at me. Ho-hum.

Click-click - from a ridiculous photographic rumour at school, that I shall not elaborate upon.

Jez - an entire persona I inadvertently developed at university, after having discovered that people liked me. Well, it was a new sensation.

Knowledge / Knowledge Man. First year at university - developed from my talent for remembering pointless facts, as is illustrated in my profile.

Simmo - from my surname. University Rugby club, imaginative as ever...

As for others, I think the worst I came across was "Child Molestor" - also from those lovely fellows the Rugby Club.
( Parmesan Quality b4 Quantity, Thu 18 May 2006, 20:15, Reply)

Derivatives of names and whatnot
My best friend's nickname is Sushi, a mutilated version of her actual name, Anushka. From Anushka, she went to the short-lived Nushi, to finally Sushi, which stuck quite well.

There's Shorty Corty, who's a short girl who bears the name Cortezia, hence the added Corty.

I was referred to as Doc by a friend of mine, as part of an old conversation.
(Aquabeast, Thu 18 May 2006, 20:14, Reply)

why dave???
Well my real name is Pete, but one day one of my brothers mates decide I look like I should be called Dave.

So anyway my brother and his mates start calling me Dave all the time; at first I found this very annoying but the more I complained the more they did so I just let it go in an attempt to get them to stop.(You know "if you rise above it they will eventually stop" thing)

It didn't work.

So my brother and his mates called me Dave all the time wether I complained or not so I got used to it.

Then after a while my entire family start calling me Dave so now I'm stuck with it - it has got to the point that if someone calls me Pete I don't look around as I think they must mean someone else!
(Wonners ooooooooo JAM!!!, Thu 18 May 2006, 20:13, Reply)

"what is the length of the average erect penis?"
there was a kid in my year at school called steven hinchley, and to put it simply, he should have been aborted.

in one sex education lesson, we did a quiz to see how much we knew about the subject, and one particular question was "what is the length of the average erect penis?" when the teacher asked around afterwards, he put his hand up and gave the response "4 inches?"

from that moment on he was known as steven four inchley
(harrietthespy, Thu 18 May 2006, 20:09, Reply)

mate from skool
real name jack his hair got slightly blonder because of the sun people thourght he had dyed it he hadnt he has been called jok for years.
(fwack bang on it, Thu 18 May 2006, 20:02, Reply)

No real reason for either...
I went to school with a boy named Dale. We all called him Dale-do. I never did get around to asking him what size batteries he needed, though he probably wouldn't've appreciated it.

Also went to school with Mary Coomer. Called her Hairy Cooter. One band director used the name once, unknowing of it's meaning.
(Elronds_Twins, Thu 18 May 2006, 20:00, Reply)

BECAUSE HE IS!!!
I worked with a guy that was seriously crazy. Not the mad as a biker crazy but proper mental illness. Absolutely brilliant at the various operating systems and the program that was his speciality, but very odd.

He would come in red faced and smelly and bobbing and weaving as though against an invisible opponent. He wore the same clothes all week and although earning about USD$1200 per day he took all his belongings about in old plastic supermarket bags.

His nickname..."Mental Mickey" or just "mental" to his friends. When anyone asked why we called him mental the standard reply was "BECAUSE HE FUCKING IS!!"

I have various friends called some good nicknames, Krusty, LL Cool Mikey D, The Badger, Robbotron, Stick.

In turn I have been given many nicknames, polar bear, panda, hunter, dr A, bozo, drew, macduff, harry, huntros huntros gali and quite a few others. Pretty much the only thing I don't get called is my actual name.
(unclehunty, Thu 18 May 2006, 19:54, Reply)

skeletor or spider
due to me being a thin, bony child.
(pixiebelle, Thu 18 May 2006, 19:45, Reply)

I went to Devon with my school for a week
my mother decided to buy me a wonderfull bright pink coat because it was cold my other one was 'too nice to get dirty'.
It's awfull on its on but then add a pair of proper combat trousers and boots (I'm in the ATC and them trousers are very comfey)

"army barbie" was born

It was horrible. They still call me that. I hate it

I burnt the pink 'thing' a few weeks later but it still haunts me
(Tiny T have you ever seen cannibalistic squirrels?, Thu 18 May 2006, 19:41, Reply)

Teachers are cunts!
Well I shall begin by letting you in on a little known fact that my real name is Vicky.
Well, it was years ago when I was at infant school -which would make be about 6- all us little children were sat on the carpet and we were each being assigned a nickname, by the teacher, for that day. The nickname had to involve a word that rhymed with our own name, most likely with the orginal intention of teaching us about rhymes.
So everyone gets a namebadge. There's Sandy Andy, Great Kate and Sicky Vicky.
I had to walk round for an entire day with "Sicky Vicky" pinned to my chest on a piece of vibrant yellow card . . . I was not a happy little girl.
( Fluffy elephants, Thu 18 May 2006, 19:40, Reply)

xlent nickname!
Working for a carpenter in my misspent youth, there was a fellow who had a large port wine stain on a large part of his face. We affectionately called him "spleen eye"
Went over big in deli's, " Hey spleen-eye, grab me a soda!" That got lots of angry looks.
He was a nice chappy, though....
(Welsh Rarebit Corgi Parts, Thu 18 May 2006, 19:37, Reply)

Mm cheesy
Well... my real non-pandary name is Kate, and my friend calls me Bukka-Kate in reference to my Japanese porn fetish.

I win :)
(theneuroticpanda, Thu 18 May 2006, 19:36, Reply)

I was called rudolph by the bullies at my school
Thank to the acne I suffered from then, causing my nose to be red alot. My birthday's on boxing day but I doubt that was a factor.

One of my best friends Charlie (Charlotte) one day sterted to be called Dave and it stuck for 5 years. Still dont know why, neither does she but it might be because she liked a lot of things and people called dave , like Dave Moffatt.
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Thu 18 May 2006, 19:33, Reply)

Naughty Nutter
That's the nickname of one of my colleagues. Why? His real name is Natter, a rather normal German surname. 2 years ago we did a training for some Aussie guys, who immediately saw the obvious relation. On one evening out with the Aussies, Nutter performed a rather idiotic trick, lighting Sambuca in his mouth (kids, don't try this at home, it is VERY dangerous!). Since then he is known as "Nutter". "Naughty", because he did that trick to impress a Chinese girl, who consequently - impressed with this trick - went to bed with him. Now imagine a department of 80 colleagues, all knowing him as "Naughty Nutter".
( RedWine President of the S.C.U.M., Thu 18 May 2006, 19:32, Reply)

wasnt called this myself
but this has to be the most affectionate nickname ever. shitboy. left school years ago still call him shitboy basically came about because he shit himself after a bad kebab or somesuch
(fwack bang on it, Thu 18 May 2006, 19:30, Reply)

George with a J
There was this one kid at school we dubbed 'Jorge'.

Why? Because he was seen writing some essay about George Bush and had spelt it as 'Jorge Bush'.

Sure, it doesn't sound like something to earn a nickname about...only his own name was actually George!

His excuse? "I'm numerically dyslexic".
(Chav In A Box? Was busy stealing your Vauxhall Nova on, Thu 18 May 2006, 19:28, Reply)

mine's boring....
gopher. why? surname's bennett, which meant everyone called me Gordon, and then that Gopher came about and it changed to that.

A mate of mine's called Trolley because on his 18th birthday a group of us took him to the pub for his first (legal) piss up in a boozer.

He drank so much he couldn't walk so we nicked a budgens trolley, wheeled him home (he threw up all over himself too!) rang his doorbell for his parents to answer and scarpered before they did!
(bdgr can't think of anything witty to type here, Thu 18 May 2006, 19:26, Reply)

ugly girl in our year
called nicole

hence "nicole the troll"
or "nitroll"
(General Arfarfarnarf He who hesitates, Masturbates!, Thu 18 May 2006, 19:26, Reply)

Back when I was starting 'big school', a mere 12 years of age
a girl started who was called Kelly Smith. We gave her a nickname which proved popular with other classes, schools, even the teachers. Probably even her parents, I don't know.

13 years on and one mild nervous breakdown later she's still referred to as Smelly Whiff.
(Northern Lovely, Thu 18 May 2006, 19:19, Reply)