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well that thread was a miserable failure wasn't it
I only recently realised that Haysi Fantayzee's 1982 hit John Wayne is Big Leggy has a thinly-veiled reference to bumsex, what did you realise recently?

alt: shotgun gimme gimme lowdown fun boy

alt alt: ok yeah showdown
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 19:24, archived)

Having two Mate Dates in the same evening means sitting in a pub on my own for an hour like some lonely old tramp.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 19:28, archived)

~~like~~ with
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 19:29, archived)

I wish.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 19:30, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXu8hd49ZZM
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 19:32, archived)

I'd come and keep you company but I'm washing my anus tonight.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 19:29, archived)

Make sure you check your piles in the wing mirror.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 19:30, archived)

is that a thing now, "mate dates", is that what we call meeting someone in a pub, it's a fucking "mate date" now is it, you fucking sicken me you do

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 19:31, archived)

Yeah. Why not.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 19:34, archived)

Also somebody should tell mcbeef that I'm now having a pint of Constantine. Ta.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 19:37, archived)

k, taking this to mean you're fellating Keanu Reeves

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 19:43, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/7854895
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 19:43, archived)

this whole mate date thing just sounds sordid and unsavoury

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 19:48, archived)

hold on, is sitting in a pub on your own a bad thing now

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 19:49, archived)

he's not on his own, he's got a dirty old tramp and Keanu Reeves with him

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 19:52, archived)

They are all social media managers

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 20:14, archived)

underpants inside out buys you another week
just saying
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 20:23, archived)

superman gets four weeks from his outfit

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 20:29, archived)

still thinking about dinner
i know i shouldn't have pasta but i really want pasta.
(

brb pussy in bio, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 18:17, archived)

why shouldn't you have pasta?
i'm having pasta.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 19:05, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/7854856
(

brb pussy in bio, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 19:16, archived)

doesn't really answer anything,
i often have pasta two days running, i'm sure the Italians do it all the time, and i've really no idea what cheese has to do with it, unless the only pasta you do is lasagne
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 19:21, archived)

you have piles

(

brb pussy in bio, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 21:26, archived)

yeah
three weeks of fried breakfasts did that, i think.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 22:49, archived)

I thought you were going to live off pure mayonnaise for a bit.
God. You are such a plop tease.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 19:18, archived)

no that was just hypothetical,
it seems you have difficulty with abstract thought, have you considered becoming a lawyer?
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 19:22, archived)

You mentioned it on the internet.
I'm pretty certain that is a binding commitment under the eyes of The Lord.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 19:23, archived)

unless it's a sex thing,
in which case it never happened
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 19:27, archived)

Them's the rules.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 19:28, archived)

mayonnaise is definitely a sex thing

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 19:33, archived)

I ... we need to talk about your mayonnaise recipe.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 19:35, archived)

well that thread was a miserable failure wasn't it
who likes breasts and fannies and ladies' bottoms and that?
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 17:31, archived)

The corrs are my favorite girl band

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 17:33, archived)

that's an odd coincidence because I'd like to punch Taylor Swift right in the fucking face

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 17:36, archived)

I see her in the news but I've never seen her do anything

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 17:37, archived)

Is Taylor even a girls name or a name at all

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 17:38, archived)

it was the original bloke's name in planet of the apes so maybe not, dunno, bit confused now

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 17:39, archived)

Mark walberg?

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 17:51, archived)

no you fucking spiner

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 17:53, archived)

Well tim Roth was deffo a monkey

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 18:05, archived)

I've just seen an advert for yakult light, we're they using fat cunt bacteria before? this world puzzles me

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 18:30, archived)

racist

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 19:04, archived)

woman I know named her daughter 'tayla'

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 17:59, archived)

I'd bash her between the legs with my fat winky

(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 17:59, archived)

I'll gaz robtoo

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 18:43, archived)

Me! Me! Me!
/ac
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 19:06, archived)

what's for dinner tonight?
i want pasta but had pasta last night so probably wont have pasta tonight and also i'm running low on cheese so probably pasta is a bad idea.
(

brb pussy in bio, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 17:20, archived)

F000000000000oooooooooooooooooooooooood

(

broadsword w⚓, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 17:26, archived)

braw! have chips with that

(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 17:28, archived)

I'm going in a bit
see you tomorrow xx
(

MONO!, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:21, archived)

Why don't you fuck off back to mayalsia then if you think its so fucking great

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:23, archived)

sort your life out

(

MONO!, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:25, archived)

"mayalsia"

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:48, archived)

this is why almost no one posted in the last thread

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:48, archived)

I'm very disappointed

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:48, archived)

it's

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:52, archived)

your fault if you miss a Baggenfock post

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:23, archived)

I'm glad

(

MONO!, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:25, archived)

bit disappointed by the lukewarm response to the Baggenfock appreciation thread tbh

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:29, archived)

I recon they must have all poped out for a cigarette m8.
I'm sure it'll pick up in a minute.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:31, archived)

I hope you get run over by a bin lorry on your way home

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:30, archived)

Baggenfock appreciation thread
I think it's high time we had a thread to celebrate our mate Baggenfock, let's discuss why he's the best person on /talk, maybe link some of his classic posts and just tell him how much we appreciate his contributions here

alt: what's the worst fruit, I hate pomegranates
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:18, archived)

dunno who that is, soz , the worst fruit is beetroot, grim

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:20, archived)

Hold on I've changed my mind, pumpkin

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:21, archived)

I honestly thought they were animals

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:22, archived)

oh god yeah, no one likes that stuff, absolutely no one
I wouldn't mind if it was eradicated and all the DNA samples destroyed and we never spoke about it ever again

and the same for beetroot
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:22, archived)

no wait, MONO! has something important to say

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:22, archived)

Joan Baez y/n?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:23, archived)

she reminds me of Oddbod from Carry on screaming
/ac
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:24, archived)

Cause when you're screaming I know that you're dreaming of meeeeeee
Sung by Jim Dale, I believe
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:26, archived)

here's a thing right, the bass player in my old band in Newcastle was Jim Dale's cousin
and he looked a bit like Jim Dale

and the theme song was sung by Ray Pilgrim you stupid fucking nonce cunt
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:32, archived)

She's 74, 2H.
Do people still do it at that age?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:25, archived)

Hmm, good question
Ok, I'll rethink this.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:26, archived)

she was good enough for Dylan

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:26, archived)

Yeah, but so was....that other thing
Harmonicas
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:27, archived)

cheers pal

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:24, archived)

Pub o'clock.
What can I get you? Bearing in mind that whatever you say I'm just going to buy Bacardi Breezers and Cheesy Moments.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:47, archived)

you fucking cunt
I'll have something nice and local please
(

MONO!, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:47, archived)

Pegasus or Justinian?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:50, archived)

sounds shit
I'll have a glass of water please
(

MONO!, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:53, archived)

have they got any blue wkd?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:50, archived)

alcohol is for weaklings

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:50, archived)

sounds like the kind of thing a nappy-headed terrorist would say.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:53, archived)

a pint glass full of dogs business

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:51, archived)

i'll have 10 skittle bombs pls

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:56, archived)

still waiting, someones not going to be telling me to brace myself as they examine the contents of my podka dot panties tonight

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:09, archived)

tell you what, see if the last pack of Big D covering the nudey lady's titties is about to go, I'll have that

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:56, archived)

Isn't exposed female skin forbidden in your country?

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:58, archived)

A pint of Old Harbiton's Punnet Drizzler, please.
For a snack, I would like three handcut vegetable chips (3 different root vegetables, of equal girth and length), served in a hod.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:59, archived)

haha, fucking "root vegetables", like anyone actually eats that shit hahaha good one

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:00, archived)

my favourite root vegetable is probably rhubarb

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:02, archived)

nah, i've changed my minds, onions

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:04, archived)

haha, fucking "onions", why don't you just eat a big gay plant instead like a big gay

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:05, archived)

onions are very versatile , you can have them many ways, raw or cooked, maybe even others, dunno

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:08, archived)

the only vegetables a heterosexual man needs to know about are green chillies

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:14, archived)

They're still a fruit, though.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 16:19, archived)

someone's left a pair of jeans in the car park
when did you last lose a pair of jeans in the car park?
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:12, archived)

I never have
I wonder why this person had to remove their jeans so quickly
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:13, archived)

it's a proper fucking mystery and no mistake

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:14, archived)

zoinks yo

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:14, archived)

sexual congress

(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:15, archived)

^old romantic

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:15, archived)

are you still flush with that 'new jeans owner' glow?

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:37, archived)

I sure am
My lower half has never been so comfortable
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:38, archived)

did you try that game i recommended?
why not?
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:43, archived)

which one?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:49, archived)

9/11 simulator

(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:53, archived)

9th November?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:54, archived)

why not
what you got planned for 9th November?
(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:54, archived)

What, you plod or saink?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:03, archived)

broforce

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:09, archived)

I bought that ages ago and just noticed they properly released it a few days ago

(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:10, archived)

yeah, it finally got a full release
it's fun times though. did you play the alien invasion update?
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:38, archived)

I hate the aliens
they are such a pain in the arse to kill
(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:45, archived)

i quite like them, the ones with acid blood really make for some good chain reactions

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:49, archived)

is this a sex thing?

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:57, archived)

Ah, no

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:10, archived)

tsk

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:38, archived)

never
ever
(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:15, archived)

when someone says that we should do something pragmatically in my company
what they mean is do it quickly without following due diligence
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:15, archived)

dark times :(

(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:18, archived)

the most popular word at the moment is delta
we need to analyse the delta, doing this should highlight the delta etc.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:19, archived)

wankers

(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:23, archived)

So 1990s. It's all about the epsilon these days.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:25, archived)

fuck! I'm still here with my gamma in my hands

(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:27, archived)

Six Sigma

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:27, archived)

My favourite Gerry Anderson shoe.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:28, archived)

fucking jobsworth

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:19, archived)

i'm more about doing very little, very slowly

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:20, archived)

The secret to good analingus.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:24, archived)

put your trousers back on frank

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:15, archived)

I see those wacky /board paedophiles are up to their old tricks
www.b3ta.com/board/11174738
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:46, archived)

I left a pair of socks next to a pile of jalfrazi shit after getting caught short in a park

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:15, archived)

I remember this story
I wish I didn't remember this story
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:16, archived)

Proper explosion curry dump, bet a dog ate it

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:17, archived)

this is all getting a bit Bob Todd now

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:18, archived)

She'd of kept the shitty socks in her pocket

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:19, archived)

have

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:21, archived)

Have you?
Why would you do that?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:22, archived)

have you seen the price of them these days?!

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:23, archived)

Bob Todd's shits?
I'm surprised there's a market for them.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:24, archived)

No point in buying luxury washing machines and not washing shit covered socks in it to impress guests

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:24, archived)

You should scrape the bigger bits off with some poncy knives first though.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:26, archived)

I believe those machines come with a shit spatula at the rear of the powder draw

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:27, archived)

Fancy as fuck.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:28, archived)

yes she of

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:22, archived)

She used to pretend she was asexual, no love it's just even a dog wouldn't fuck you

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:26, archived)

She got awful angry when I suggested that being asexual wasn't a sexuality.
Probably cos she fancied me or sutin.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:27, archived)

Probably married with kids now the daft cow

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:28, archived)

Christ. Imagine the potty training.
:(
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:29, archived)

She was only about 14 when I vanished from b3ta,
so this all sounds a wee bit creepy.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:44, archived)

b3ta, a magnet for predatory paedophiles?
Well I never ...
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:49, archived)

You'll forever be able to tell the tale of "the one that got away".

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:51, archived)

i think you are confusing her with comma

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:03, archived)

Yeah. I think Todd was a bit older but just had a mental age of six.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:19, archived)

You could be right.
To be on the safe side, I'll assume everyone here is a 14 year old girl.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:57, archived)

so did mother Theresa, bet she was all over swinger sites and contact mags though

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:31, archived)

her surname is Green
lol
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:53, archived)

oh teeheehee

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:54, archived)

^The Sarcastic Titter
good name for a pub
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:08, archived)

they wouldn't be lost if I knew they were in the car park

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:35, archived)

there

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:36, archived)

oh now honestly

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:40, archived)

Some prickhole has voted somebody who isn't MGT onto the MGT Plops page. Ffs.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:40, archived)

no one cares

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:44, archived)

what makes you think that?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:52, archived)

He seems a bit lost and lonely.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:54, archived)

awww you are making me feel sorry for it now

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:01, archived)

It just needs a cuddle.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:18, archived)

calm down
I'm quite a bit older than 14.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:25, archived)

faith in humanity

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:56, archived)

sorry, you've lost me

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:05, archived)

wan't me, I don't recall ever liking anything anyone has posted here

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:10, archived)

landshark shit machines
www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/13879216.UPDATE___He_ate_her_down_to_the_bone___Neighbours_in_shock_after_woman_attacked_by_dog_in_Woolwich
(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:19, archived)

serves her right, she knew the risks, I've no bloody sympathy

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:28, archived)

Anybody who keeps animals in their living quarters is a filthy cunt and should probably go live in a fucking cave.
/ac
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:29, archived)

says the man with children

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:31, archived)

They might have the wrong number of chromosomes, but they're still technically human.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:33, archived)

Look at this, it looks like the man is riding a giant lady
i.imgur.com/bSGJy.jpg
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:35, archived)

i.imgur.com/Qye30xQ.jpg
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:37, archived)

Mine haven't shit in my bed or bitten off my face in weeks.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:43, archived)

ngbufydg5y h4 uh903uirjh
is a good name for a band
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:12, archived)

(shit joke about dogging)

(

Zuowan, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:30, archived)

(dog joke about shitting)

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:42, archived)

(picture of a dog taking a shit into a lady's mouth)

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 15:44, archived)

Has there been a lunch thread yet? I know some prick was wittering on about condiments but I don't really think that counts.
I'm having some chocolate chip brioche from Sainsburys.
You can order them here:
www.sainsburys.co.uk/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/gb/groceries/sainsburys-milk-chocolate-chip-brioche-roll-x8?langId=44&storeId=10151&krypto=QQukhRQF71O5brTUAJY0t1C2EPYZOGQXk%2Bp%2FHdsfLVPflaaXmULM7vm19H852hSHtpwwcJ4fWxhO%0AGn84PZmMXW0d2fMqOHqQjTOZ%2BUqkbEognkVLci9qEZp17wj6foiI&ddkey=http:gb/groceries/sainsburys-milk-chocolate-chip-brioche-roll-x8
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:40, archived)

I think mushrooms are my favorite vegetables

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:42, archived)

I don't think mushrooms are a vegetable but I am not confident enough about this to publicly ridicule you

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:43, archived)

People who use the botanical definition of "fruit" in normal conversation are almost inevitably fans of vaping.
~~fruit~~ vegetable
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:45, archived)

vapists

(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:46, archived)

Mushrooms are my favourite vegetable is a good name for a band

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:47, archived)

"Mushrooms are my favourite vegetable is a good name for a band" is a good name for a band.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:01, archived)

children's food

(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:44, archived)

^ takes candy from babies

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:45, archived)

That's breakfast food.
Tsk.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:45, archived)

It's ok, I didn't have breakfast.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:47, archived)

If you're too busy for breakfast then you've failed at life and should probably take up vaping.
/ac
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:48, archived)

^ vapist

(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:49, archived)

You should keep a tray of pastries on your desk.
You'd never miss breakfast, plus you could scoff them whilst telling patients that they're too fat for surgery.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:50, archived)

I don't actually have too much of a problem with fat patients. My room is upstairs and there's no lift so they usually see the downstairs doctors.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:55, archived)

Think they are called gynecologists ..

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:58, archived)

Oh hahaha

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:58, archived)

I like this idea.
Now that PCGONEMAD has stopped GPs having whisky and cigars on the go.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:56, archived)

Maybe Jeremy Hunt could placate all the angry doctors by giving us our whisky and cigars back.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:04, archived)

^"Doctor" Jimmy Saville

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:05, archived)

Well I did fix it for someone to have a robotic prostatectomy this morning.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:12, archived)

OMG!
You're making Cybermen!!!!1!!!!1!
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:21, archived)

Yes and they all have erectile dysfunction and urinary incontinence.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:27, archived)

I had meatballs. They were ok.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:46, archived)

You can eat them cold straight from the tin, perfect for the busy person

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:49, archived)

not a very balanced meal that

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:48, archived)

It would be if he held four in each hand ahahajajajaha dadjokeslol.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:49, archived)

well that thread's pretty much played itself out now
what do you expect to die of and why

alt: there's never been a good film about werewolves, prove me wrong

alt alt: more fannies
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:38, archived)

car accident
not my fault though. Just unlucky.
(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:38, archived)

Cancer
Dog soldiers was alright

Lexi belle
(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:40, archived)

How many fannies does she have?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:46, archived)

I'm with mongychops for all answers

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:46, archived)

I'm hoping a meteorite will land on my house while I'm sleeping
Just large enough to vaporise the house & me, so no-one will have to find my rotting body/ sort through all the crap I've been hoarding all these years.
(

fuscous, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 14:50, archived)

morning

(

brb pussy in bio, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:31, archived)

not really, no

(

MONO!, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:37, archived)

I don't think much of that condiment thought experiment.
It is making me hungry, though. I wish I had some piccalilli to go with my sandwich.

What's the best offal?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:43, archived)

birdseye potato w-offal

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:47, archived)

Gold star for manolith.
Mainly because I'm pleased to see him, but also because I appreciated the pun and I'm rather partial to a potato waffle.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:48, archived)

^mods pet

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:51, archived)

~~mod~~ up
p
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:57, archived)

jelly?

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:33, archived)

+ dog

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:15, archived)

alright monster munch
been a bit busy lately
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:27, archived)

I'd hate to think you were neglecting your mod duties, manolith.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:31, archived)

well, no-one ever told me what they are
so i assume i've been a massive success from day one
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:33, archived)

We don't have manolith appreciation day for nothing, y'know.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:34, archived)

manolith I'm being harrased on the forum, I think it's a cry baby from qftw
www.b3ta.com/talk/7854526
(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:51, archived)

awww, he had a little strop and deleted
poor poppet.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:24, archived)

He's also a paedophile

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:25, archived)

you make it sound like a bad thing

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:28, archived)

i don't think that pussyole is capable of harassment, m

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:29, archived)

ok fair enough

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:32, archived)

I like all of it
I've never eaten an internal organ I didn't like
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:48, archived)

I bet you've had a few external ones in your mouth as well.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:58, archived)

external organ?
is that a real thing?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:58, archived)

I've seen someone play one of those in the street

(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:59, archived)

oh yeah, one of those
why would I put one of those in my mouth?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:00, archived)

the pink oboe?

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:01, archived)

Skin.
Big organ, on the outside.

Also, vaginas - this was explained to me once but I wasn't convinced.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:01, archived)

oh yeah, the skin is an organ isn't it

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:03, archived)

Lamb chops

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:48, archived)

that's not offal you feeble minded cretin

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:49, archived)

K reporting this to the mods

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:50, archived)

look, this isn't /qftw, you're allowed to talk to people like a normal human would.
Give it a go.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:58, archived)

This is its comedy, good innit

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:03, archived)

oh, its schtick is being a tedious wanker? I thought we already had one of them.

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:04, archived)

Its OK I've reported it to the mods

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:10, archived)

one?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:20, archived)

two

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:36, archived)

buckle my shoe

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:38, archived)

do it yourself, you lazy prick

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:49, archived)

I'm too fat to bend :(

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:51, archived)

that's not what i've heard

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:04, archived)

woah, this is news to me, who is it?

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:28, archived)

you're just trying to initiate a brouhaha

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:56, archived)

balderdash, ballyhoo
it's only /talk
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:59, archived)

You're the best offal

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:51, archived)

kebab

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:53, archived)

I had a sort of kebab yesterday

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:54, archived)

I had microwave kebabs once, I should get some more of those in, tasty and easy to prepare, what's not to like

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:01, archived)

I don't think a kebab is offal m8, strictly speaking.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:55, archived)

I reckon it is,
if you disregard the sawdust content.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:59, archived)

there's very little meat in these gym mats

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:34, archived)

^food babe

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:36, archived)

my secret shame!

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:18, archived)

all offal should be binned

(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:56, archived)

Bit wasteful.
What about liver?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:03, archived)

Offal soup is "popular" over here
in the sense that anyone under 50 thinks it's utterly revolting.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:57, archived)

I had tripe once
I didn't eat it, I just tasted it for the merest fraction of a second then gobbed it out and ran to the fridge to find something to take the taste out of my mouth, a bit like your missus does every time you make her kiss your winky.
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:59, archived)

in my first week here
my boss made me a bowl of tripe soup, then interrogated me for 20 minutes about my life without giving me the chance to eat. "But anyway, try your soup!" she eventually said, and gazed at me intently as I tried so swallow mouthful after mouthful of room-temperature rubberized innards in a lukewarm broth.

I can still taste that rancid fatty dishwater in my mouth 11 years later.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:04, archived)

Try brushing your teeth, it's quite popular in the West, you know.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:05, archived)

Decadent capitalist pigdog!

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:21, archived)

Never tried tripe.
Not likely to, either. Likewise eyeballs and brain matter.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:02, archived)

mmmm, sweetbreads

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:03, archived)

Isn't that glands?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:04, archived)

OH FUCK

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:07, archived)

I tried an eyeball in turkey
it tasted like a squashball injected with seawater.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:05, archived)

:(
Ick.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:18, archived)

BOOTIFUL!

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:19, archived)

mechanically separated chicken

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:02, archived)

NOT OFFAL

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:04, archived)

as far as I can remember it all tasted 'offal'
(sounds a bit like 'awful')
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:03, archived)

there's always one isn't there

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:03, archived)

hahaha

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:04, archived)

yeah, I was going to do that but thought better of it.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:05, archived)

feel free to apply that policy to all your posts

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:30, archived)

hahaha

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:35, archived)

i am bound to say haggis,
but i do like a nice steak and kidney pudding
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:04, archived)

ok, things just got sexy

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:05, archived)

you wait until she shits it out

(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:07, archived)

I can't wait all day, you know
time is money
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:14, archived)

i had two massive poos yesterday,
and still managed another perfectly respectable one this morning, i must have been backed up to the ears
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:21, archived)

well I don't know about you, but I'm rigid

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:24, archived)

That's just impacted stools pressing against your prostate.
A big bowl of prunes and you'll be as impotent as usual.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:02, archived)

impacted stools pressing against your prostate would be a great band name

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:06, archived)

Imma call my band "Live At The Dublin Castle"

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:07, archived)

k, taking this to mean you wash yourself with tepid cow's urine

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:06, archived)

Pedigree Chum

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:06, archived)

McNuggets

(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:07, archived)

kfc chicken popcorn

(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:07, archived)

boneless pork rectums

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:07, archived)

i.imgur.com/y5TdPb4.jpg
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:10, archived)

not clicking that, might be boneless pork rectums

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:12, archived)

Boneless Pork Rectums would be a great band name

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:17, archived)

As long as they're not inverted

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:18, archived)

Is that how fleshlights are made?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:30, archived)

something about bones in pig rectums and referencing david cameron

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:10, archived)

I'm eating something called a 'Harvest Chewee'
I prefer lamb's heart, tbh
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:08, archived)

sounds sexual

(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:08, archived)

It was more sensual than sexual

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:09, archived)

hey it says here that cow tonsils are prohibited by law from entering the human food chain, who knew

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:13, archived)

Does it say why?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:14, archived)

it probably does but I closed the tab now so I'm going to choose to believe that MGT buys them all and writhes around in them for some kind of perverted cow tonsil cheap thrill

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:15, archived)

she should be ashamed of herself, really

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:16, archived)

The eldest is on at me to get some hearts.
D'you reckon it's worth getting them pre-sliced, or getting them whole and doing the trimming myself?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:21, archived)

trimming them is a fucking ball ache
but it depends. I bought a whole heart to show the boys what one looks like when you take it apart, but sliced when we want to eat it.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:24, archived)

Cheers, 2H.
Might have to be a whole one first time, pre-sliced thereafter. Getting to that "hearty stew" sort of climate, now, so maybe I'll indulge the boy. Oxtail might be worth a punt, too.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:28, archived)

Definitely
And if you're slow cooking a stew, have a look for ox cheek. It's cheap and stews up a treat.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:30, archived)

stew is just hot meaty vomit for povvos to eat

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:32, archived)

Look, another foodwrong.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:36, archived)

unless you call it cawl and serve it with rarebit
then it's lush
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:39, archived)

Nice.
He put in a request for a whole pig's head, the other day, but I think that might be taking things too far (unless he's got political aspirations).
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:33, archived)

Oof
Do you have good knives? Mine aren't great unfortunately.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:35, archived)

my knife set is terrible. none of them are sharp and they seem to be beyond the capabilities of my sharpening dealie
i should get some more but can't really afford to at the mo
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:51, archived)

I have a set of Sabatier's that I keep reasonably sharp, plus a cleaver that hardly ever gets used.
There's also a massive knife, that looks like it'd be ideal for disembowelling teenagers, in the knife block, that the father-in-law keeps proper sharp. If that fails, there's a chainsaw in the garage.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:54, archived)

Sabatier isn't a trade name or protected mark. It's just a word any old shitty cutlery maker can put on their knives. Soz.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:04, archived)

I'm well aware of that, smarty pants.
Fortunately, what I have is a perfectly serviceable set of knives, that I've used for many years.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:13, archived)

lol shit knives

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:15, archived)

You call that a knife ...

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:13, archived)

What knives should I buy to show off to my neighbors

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:13, archived)

german ones

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:14, archived)

That one Sonny Landham used in Predator.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:18, archived)

This has made me smile.
And reminded me of this: youtu.be/C-c4U6XRtvc
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:25, archived)

i ate a chicken heart once at viva brazil
it was ok
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:35, archived)

There was a big plate of chicken hearts at a family BBQ we attended.
The Greek side of the family were mad for them.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:56, archived)

you should definitely take one of those out and chew on it for elevenses

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:31, archived)

meat paste

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:09, archived)

I've changed my mind, gonna say paté now

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:09, archived)

good stuff

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:32, archived)

mango chutney

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:10, archived)

What about that mint sauce the give you for popodoms eh, that's nice

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:13, archived)

sure, I'll eat that as long as you get the lime pickle

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:14, archived)

missed a comma there.

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:15, archived)

lol

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:16, archived)

Steady on gonz might try and mount me

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 12:17, archived)

Bits of dead dog.
Turns out that dogs are all the asians' fault
www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-34577200

Can't say I'm surprised.
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:25, archived)

The central asians is us.
Fucking bunch of furries.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 13:29, archived)

So yeah, that thread where I asked what table condiment you would live on forever and I said soy sauce, I've been thinking about it and I'm changing my answer to mango chutney
alt: what's the best gorilla that isn't king Kong

alt alt: fannies
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 10:41, archived)

how can I be sure you won't change your mind again?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 10:47, archived)

dude, srsly
mango chutney
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 10:51, archived)

I'm just not satisfied that you have considered all table sauces and may yet change your mind again

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 10:54, archived)

ok, name one better sauce or condiment, I'll be fucking well impressed if you or anyone else can, you can't can you

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 10:55, archived)

semen

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 10:59, archived)

Yeah, but you have to really smack the container to get any out.
Either that, or jam a knife down the neck to loosen it.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:03, archived)

[ hilarious tomato ketchup masturbation joke here ]

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:04, archived)

encona hot pepper sauce

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:01, archived)

you fucking idiot

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:01, archived)

y'see threads like this can never work if you won't allow subjectivity

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:03, archived)

ok, there's fruit in mango chutney, that's a whole food group full of vitamins not found in your Encona hot sauce
plus there'll be a lot more carbohydrates, I reckon you could live on mango chutney for WAY longer and suffer no ill effects
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:05, archived)

I reckon piccalilli is more nutritious though.

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:06, archived)

I reckon the level of nutrients in either is negligible

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:08, archived)

It's the lack of carbs that'll do for you quickest though.
You'll have starved on piccalili before scurvy gets you. I'm afraid Frank is correct on the mango chutney front.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:10, archived)

To be absolutely clear: this is the ONLY thing he is correct about.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:11, archived)

taking this to mean everyone agrees with me all the time about everything

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:12, archived)

english mustards alright

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:14, archived)

he's not asking which one you like most, you fucking stuipid cunt

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:26, archived)

http://b3ta.com/talk/7854472

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:28, archived)

get fucked brian clough's pitchside guffs

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:30, archived)

Oh is this one of them, explains a lot, I didn't know what it was

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:34, archived)

hahahaha yeah

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:31, archived)

pity it tastes like shit though

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:10, archived)

wait, I'm only allowed to live on the sauce I choose?
this is a fucking ridiculous premise
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:07, archived)

this was the premise of the original thread, yes

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:09, archived)

you fucking idiot

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:16, archived)

oh right, this is how you behave when the debate's not going your way, VERY mature of you I'm sure

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:17, archived)

I'd enjoy watching your body crumble away as malnutrition set in.
Alt: Mecha King Kong
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 10:51, archived)

woah, I need to start paying more attention to movie releases

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 10:52, archived)

Mango chutney goes with practically everything
but I'm not sure I'd enjoy it with nothing at all.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:02, archived)

ok, you're shit at thought experiments

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:06, archived)

But I'm excellent at sucking cock.
Swings and roundabouts.

Is where I mostly suck cock.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:08, archived)

dunno, can't wait for one of the qftw people to pop over here and get upset at you tho

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:08, archived)

I don't know what I've ever done to offend them

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:11, archived)

they are a big fat collective, upset one and it upsets them all

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:12, archived)

You probably didn't show enough simpering attention to a bloobloo fat chick.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:12, archived)

dreadful bullying of Rachelswipe

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:15, archived)

She's too thick to bully.
You might as well bounce rocks off her gunt.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:16, archived)

is that the gay one that gets upset at you?

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:17, archived)

it's one of them

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:18, archived)

i hope they die

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:20, archived)

u need 2 b a bit more inclusive and tolerant of diversity m8

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:41, archived)

nothing egg based

(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:13, archived)

mayonnaise
it's like a savoury yoghurt
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:15, archived)

woah!

(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:16, archived)

ok, this is the stupidest answer to any question ever

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:16, archived)

it's what i'm here for!

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:18, archived)

alright MGT

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:21, archived)

alright Dave

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:24, archived)

That would make for some truly fascinating plop stories.
I say you give it a try.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:29, archived)

they'd just glide round the u-bend with almost zero friction

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:32, archived)

~~So yeah, that thread where I asked what table condiment you would live on forever and I said soy sauce, I've been thinking about it and~~
~~changing my answer to m~~
~~ngo~~
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:19, archived)

I would probably say mango chutney too, but seeing as how you've already said it
I'm going for Horseradish sauce. Or tartare. I'm not sure.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:24, archived)

christ just listen to yourself will you

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:26, archived)

^overtired

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:27, archived)

I think he might be locked inside his flat and is eating all the sauces in the kitchen

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:27, archived)

his flat mate will be furious

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:30, archived)

erm

(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:28, archived)

+sp

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:29, archived)

ermsp

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:34, archived)

www.b3ta.com/board/11174719
(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:36, archived)

having researched the nutritional values, I recon mayo is the best bet.

yeah, I'm partial to the odd fanny
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 11:29, archived)

fuck that beaker
what's the biggest thing you've ever put in your mouth?
(

MONO!, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:46, archived)

I got a whole orange in there once
and not a pathetic little mandarin or clementine either.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:50, archived)

nice

(

MONO!, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:55, archived)

That's a lot of amyl nitrite.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 10:05, archived)

I don't think anyone outside your local public toilet is going to understand that joke
if, of course, that's what it is.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 10:20, archived)

^Bit racist that

(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 10:21, archived)

fuck off

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:51, archived)

you alright mongy?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:54, archived)

sweet as , you ?

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 10:00, archived)

yer, got time off this week, gonna live it up large
Might drink a beer or summink.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 10:01, archived)

you go easy that beer stuff can be moreish

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 10:05, archived)

got any pro tips?
I haven't had a drink in a pub in yonks.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 10:21, archived)

The bloated head of my own mighty wang.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 10:06, archived)

<s> my own mighty....<\s>chung

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 10:08, archived)

MONO's bumhole

(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 10:26, archived)

Oh, come on! You can do better than that! One more time:
morning
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:28, archived)

PANTS & ASS

(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:29, archived)

Fuck this shit

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:31, archived)

HE'S BEHIND YOU!

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:33, archived)

HARK! What light through yonder window breaks?
'Tis no light, 'tis a rapist, here to plunder your arsehole.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:34, archived)

^ erotic Shakespeare fanfic

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:35, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7854417
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:37, archived)

OH NO HE ISN'T!

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:40, archived)

cunt

(

MONO!, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:38, archived)

tomorrow is the 21st of October 2015
I am disappointed that we do not have hoverboards yet.
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:40, archived)

Bear in mind, Blade Runner is set in 2019 and describes the hunt for a four-year-old replicant
so we ought to be pumping out synthetic Rutger Hauers any day now.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:44, archived)

I don't see why I should bother when you didn't acknowledge my response last time

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:40, archived)

^ upset

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:40, archived)

Hi, tangles!
You're far and away my favourite b3ta contributor. Would you like a signed photo?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:41, archived)

of who?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:42, archived)

Caesar the Boogieman

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:44, archived)

and who is it signed by?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:46, archived)

It's certainly not me holding a pen in my non-dominant hand.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:50, archived)

I hope you have your non-dom status removed

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:54, archived)

My right hand is spending a year dead
for tax purposes.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:57, archived)

so it feels like someone else is paying the tax?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 10:03, archived)

Paying the tax AND touching someone else's willy.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 10:08, archived)

morning

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 8:57, archived)

hi

(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 8:57, archived)

at last, someone decent starts a thread
don't let me down, MM
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:06, archived)

Wanna buy some ejuice?
Maybe a dashcam?
No? Got some stale burgers you might be interested in.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:10, archived)

I would be interested in a dashcam
Warsaw drivers are absolutely mental.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:20, archived)

morning monster munch

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:17, archived)

nah

(

MONO!, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:27, archived)

enough of that
someone's asked me to sort out their "website" and by "website" they mean subreddit

reddit's a bit shit innit
(

MONO!, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 8:55, archived)

reddit's shit if you want to abuse it for any sort of marketing
because of their 10% rule
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:06, archived)

Mroning

(

MONO!, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 7:57, archived)

that says it all really

(

MONO!, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 7:58, archived)

morning tony

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 7:59, archived)

Your Bumholiness

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 8:08, archived)

prick

(

mongychops, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 8:15, archived)

MONOing

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 8:27, archived)

try to sell me something or fuck off

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 8:29, archived)

Dashcam. £6 plus postage.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 8:41, archived)

14 months now, and still the mods do nothing
b3ta.com/search/posts/87421/latest
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 8:51, archived)

They've got more important things to do like ... you know ... banning Frank and tolerating cartoon child pornography.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 8:53, archived)

if that was on /links someone would have dobbed him in by now

(

$$ ✅, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 8:55, archived)

I could post a new link, to this thread, but they'd probably all start shouting 'GC!' or some shit

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:03, archived)

mods are all hopped up on PACT coffee and e-cigs.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:47, archived)

Top o' the mornin' to ya, Mr O'Ning

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 8:36, archived)

Morning everyone! As a busy GP I don't have time for breakfast but if I was going to I would probably get an egg mcmuffin from McDonalds (http://www.mcdonalds.com/us/en/food/product_nutrition.breakfast.46.egg-mcmuffin.html).
Where do you guys like to get your breakfast?
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 7:16, archived)

I get my breakfast from my kitchen, because I'm not on benefits.

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 7:32, archived)

Morning 2Can
I see the McDonalds sponsorship is still going well then. Do you recommend big Macs to all your morbidly obese fucktard patients?
(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 7:55, archived)

not anywhere where some selfish cunt thinks that "vaping" indoors is perfectly acceptable behaviour

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 7:55, archived)

If you're too busy for breakfast then you've failed at life and should probably take up vaping.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 8:27, archived)

is this official nhs advice?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 8:35, archived)

As I may have mentioned before, Addenbrookes has its own Burger King.
The NHS takes obesity really seriously.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:15, archived)

chavs are more likely to be in hospital though what with their smoking and drinking and shit diet and drugs and wife beating and

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:18, archived)

that's not how the This Is Jinsy theme goes.

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 9:45, archived)

Ecigs
Are you guys vaping or no? I have found a great company named Jvapes.com They have fucking stellar juice selection and their shipping is fast. Who do you guys like?
(jerseymoss www.youtube.com/spaffordmusic, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 1:01, archived)

electronic cigarettes give you cancer, hth

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 1:11, archived)

This is 100% trufax

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 7:17, archived)

Vaping is for paedophiles and jvapes sponsor terrorism.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 3:53, archived)

A Jvapes.com e-cigarette and a cup of PACT coffee is a great way to start the day if you are a paedophile.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 7:12, archived)

I like mine while listening to V!ce

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 8:09, archived)

I've been on one for over a year now
Always got my juices from Innovapours, fast delivery and good service. I recommend Fusion Vapours (USA) juice, especially Endless Summer and Gummi Blood

EDIT: Spamcunt fuck off
(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 20 Oct 2015, 7:53, archived)

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