right, it's 9.30 and my trousers aren't staying on a minute longer

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 21:32, archived)

a sex thing etc

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 21:36, archived)

did you plop yourself again?

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 21:41, archived)

I'm not doing plops, I'm saving them up for a hot date with MGT

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 21:46, archived)

cor!

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 21:53, archived)

I don't where trousers

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 21:43, archived)

there trousers
there castle
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 21:46, archived)

I don't;
where trousers?
( CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 21:48, archived)

there on the stare

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 21:51, archived)

Well I declare

( CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 21:57, archived)

wears the soap?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 23:01, archived)

oh no.
I love them!
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 23:01, archived)

So you've had your baggies off for 40 minutes now
Have you been served yet?
( CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 22:10, archived)

you fuckin wot m8?

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 23:00, archived)

Pace
Fret ye not.
( CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 23:16, archived)

seth rogen eh, fucking hell

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 23:21, archived)

alright

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 20:05, archived)

Evening gorgeous. Can I get you a Malibu and some Scampi Fries?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 20:10, archived)

Cheesey moments ta I'm off fish... eh

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 20:12, archived)

Typical feminist.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 20:23, archived)

hiya

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 20:22, archived)

hi Hi

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 20:34, archived)

manolith touched a dog on the bumhole

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 20:30, archived)

He's gone, we are mod less

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 20:35, archived)

I don't blame him, this place is full of people just posting shit non-stop all day

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 20:46, archived)

I noticed this a while back
It's the employed gloating at the rest of us.
( CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 21:04, archived)

You might be over thinking this

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 21:20, archived)

I'll be honest with you, I believe unemployeds and spastics should be burned at the stake
/ac
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 21:24, archived)

Let's smash this place up.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 20:49, archived)

The damage is done

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 20:58, archived)

I hope no one's blaming me

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 21:01, archived)

I doubt it you flouncd

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 21:18, archived)

I'm in the clear then

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 21:24, archived)

you know when the bosses have meetings and they get caterers to deliver a buffet and there's some left over and they let the pleb workers pick at the remains, shovelling half-stale lychee and kumquat on guatemalan hay bread into their foetid maws
well I hate that, I never eat any
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:12, archived)

I always make sure to lick any leftovers at the end of a meeting.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:14, archived)

I imagine most middle management would wipe their sexual organs over their employees' food then laugh about it
so yeah, not sure why I started this thread
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:16, archived)

We don't really have any plebs working here except the catering staff.
They probably lick all the food before they give it to us.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:17, archived)

I hate plebs

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:14, archived)

Even the ones with lovely big knockers?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:16, archived)

phwoar! knockers!

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:18, archived)

Knockers are fucking great.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:20, archived)

I do like knockers, but not plebs. I'm not sure how I'd feel about pleb boobs.
Is there anywhere to find videos or photos of them so I could check in relative comfort?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:24, archived)

i.imgur.com/HBY3vX4.jpg
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:26, archived)

now everyone's afraid to click that

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:27, archived)

That's horrible.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:29, archived)

at least now you know never to ask again

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:31, archived)

Try opening Mosaic and typing www.altavista.com into the address bar.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:27, archived)

i love it when that happens, i even take some home

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:15, archived)

I heard they deliberately wipe dogshit on the vol au vents

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:18, archived)

i don't blame them, pret sandwich platters need the flavour

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:28, archived)

this is almost as unhygienic as MGT

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:55, archived)

i'm unhygienic for washing now,
i can't believe it
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 18:09, archived)

No, I have a proper job.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:17, archived)

You put your fingers up pensioners and then eat refrigerated supermarket sandwiches over the keyboard of your Windows 95 NHS PC.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:18, archived)

Actually we all got upgraded to windows 7 after Microsoft stopped supporting XP.
I currently have a dual monitor setup, a samsung pro SSD and gaming macro keyboard and mouse with each button linked to an antibiotic so I can prescribe them faster.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:20, archived)

Whoa. Check out doctor 2009 here!

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:26, archived)

I have one screen for looking at patients notes and another for reading the news and checking things on wikipedia

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:36, archived)

I had a smashing German GP recently who spent most of the appointment googling for pictures of eardrums so we could discuss computer vision methods of testing for infections.
Fascinating, brian. Do tell us more.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:40, archived)

I had a long discussion about bitcoins with one of my patients.
The next one wanted to talk about farming chickens which was less relevant to my interests.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:57, archived)

This is how flu epidemics start.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 17:04, archived)

woah

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:28, archived)

Bullshit.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:29, archived)

do you have loads of unnecessary programs installed that you hassled IT for?

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:31, archived)

Haha no, I gave myself admin access.
As the IT lead for our surgery I get do do what I like with the computers.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:33, archived)

let's hope your hard drive doesn't get confiscated by the police

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:47, archived)

If it does it will be mongy's fault for making me google all those favourite porn stars of his.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:56, archived)

I call bullshit on this.
No GP I've ever met has been interested in any IT equipment that wasn't their iPad. Except the one who had a Surface.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:51, archived)

As an FY1 doctor my reg was a GP who'd got bored, went off and started his own IT business and then got bored of that too and went back into hospital medicine.
He looked like comic book guy minus the beard and everyone hated him.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 17:00, archived)

worst
reg
ever
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 18:12, archived)

If he'd had a good catchphrase we might have hated him less.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 18:36, archived)

I've been in those meetings and I've rarely seen anyone actually eat any of the buffet.

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:18, archived)

I always eat the buffet. What sorry class of cunt doesn't eat savoury pastry items when they're placed in front of him?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:31, archived)

one who doesn't want toxocara worms in his or her cinnamon bun

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:33, archived)

I prefer it when they take us out of for a meal

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:33, archived)

Buffet for lunch. Beer and steak in the evening.
This is Standard Food Operating Procedure for doing business.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:34, archived)

ok cool

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:20, archived)

Everyone loves a curly sandwich!
I like to get in quick, nab all the choicest morsels. Doesn't happen since we got moved to the adjacent office, though.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:49, archived)

I only just found out there were six Three Stooges
I mean, obviously I knew about the Curly and Shemp thing but six, that shit's bananas
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 17:12, archived)

There are 4 chuckle brothers who all appear in the tv shows, I kid you not

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 17:31, archived)

you're just making this up, trying to make me buy a telly

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 17:33, archived)

Nah one of the older brothers just married a 25 year old chucklette

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 17:35, archived)

Yeah it's like with lassie, every time one dies they replace them with a lookalike and after a few episodes people stop noticing that they look different.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 17:40, archived)

Its not like that at all you fucking idiot, there are 4 different brothers, do keep up

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 17:42, archived)

They're all played by the same actor with special effects, you fool.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 17:49, archived)

Will you all either do some chuckle brothers research or shut up, showing yourselves up

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 17:58, archived)

I Binged and it told me that Harpo Marx was a homosexual.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 18:14, archived)

Shut up you Neva

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 18:47, archived)

Ok you made me google it, happy now?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 18:50, archived)

See his new missus, cor

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 19:16, archived)

jesus fucking christ

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 19:31, archived)

yeah they're always arranged by the sort of people
who think quiche should be served cold, the fucking idiots
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 17:58, archived)

Egg flan should never be served

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 18:00, archived)

I like how something that our mums used to make when they'd run low on housekeeping
has somehow turned into a thing people choose to eat.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 19:02, archived)

My mum wasn't poor, she just pissed money away

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 19:17, archived)

that's pretty much most things, i think

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 19:17, archived)

You're right. Whenever my mum was short she'd always knock up black truffles and fillet steak.
Herrdurrburrrderrp!
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 19:21, archived)

two examples does not constitute "most things"

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 19:22, archived)

Yeah. You're right. All the posh food we eat is the kind of thing a penniless mum would knock up before payday
you ridiculous fucking dickwad.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 19:26, archived)

hundreds of years ago,
yes, obviously things get developed, you imagination-challenged buffoon
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 19:27, archived)

Can you just once try not being an ornery prick? Just for five minutes.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 19:29, archived)

the lack of self-awareness here is astonishing,
either that or the lack of knowing what "ornery" means.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 19:33, archived)

You're either being deliberately contradictory or you're unfathomably thick.
I'm being charitable.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 20:08, archived)

you're being ornery, as usual,
and i wonder how long it will be before you're banned again
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 20:19, archived)

Yerr. You suggesting that most posh food is what our mothers used to cook when they were skint was an entirely reasonable thing to say. You daft twat.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 20:27, archived)

that's not what i said at all,
but do keep verbally flailing about
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 21:10, archived)

Read the thread again, you dosy old fuck.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 22:20, archived)

Two examples do not etc
Though I agree parentheses could alter that.
( CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 19:43, archived)

let's have fewer

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 19:43, archived)

With a Rebel Yell he cried........

( CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 19:44, archived)

Shit, yeah
she.
( CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 19:56, archived)

Penny for your thoughts?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:05, archived)

due to inflation i can accept no less than 28p +vat for a single thought

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:10, archived)

I think I'll have a beer.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:12, archived)

Anybody got any issues of Forum they want to share?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:54, archived)

no

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:00, archived)

manolith touched a dog on the bumhole

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:07, archived)

anyone got any forum issues they would like to discuss?

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:04, archived)

manolith touched a dog on the bumhole

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:04, archived)

woah

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:06, archived)

We need a campaign to attract new and exciting posters to our great forum.
I suggest some sort of joke raffle.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:05, archived)

and a free gift

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:07, archived)

How about we have a dash cam give away!

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:11, archived)

yes!

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:12, archived)

So we can bully them?
great idea!
( MONO!, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:12, archived)

Why would we bully them?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:21, archived)

because they'll probably be about as shit as the rest of you

( MONO!, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:25, archived)

I haven't been asked to prove that I'm not a robot.
I am quite concerned that the security of my account is at risk.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:07, archived)

nothing can possibly go wrong

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:08, archived)

Are you a robot?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:11, archived)

I really don't know any more.
Ever since they showed me that owl I've been having existential doubts.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:23, archived)

there are at least 42 too many users regularly using /talk

( MONO!, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:11, archived)

Prove it.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:12, archived)

http://b3ta.com/board_stats/talkboard-users.html

( MONO!, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:13, archived)

30+4=42

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:16, archived)

erm, not really, no

( MONO!, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:18, archived)

you are so stupid

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:25, archived)

how stupid am i?

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:45, archived)

so

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:46, archived)

exactly

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:29, archived)

not enough convoluted pun threads

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:12, archived)

I don't understand why the arbitrary limit of 500 posts are needed before you can post on the for sale section, could this not be lowered now due to the lack of threads?

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:12, archived)

i'll gaz robtoo and get it fixed

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:13, archived)

just create a spam bot to get around the 500 post requirement set in place to combat spam bots

( MONO!, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:14, archived)

I still don't know who the magic donkey is

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:14, archived)

prolly HappyToast

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:16, archived)

aw that wanker?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:19, archived)

Every now and then he lulls me into thinking he's not a massive spastic wanker.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:24, archived)

oh and i would like to know the secret password please

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:15, archived)

9/11

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:16, archived)

doesn't work :/

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:18, archived)

I'd like manolith to stop sulking and give me my old account back
who knows, I might be less of a dickhead if I was actually concerned about being banned
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:15, archived)

i'll gaz robtoo

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:16, archived)

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAA

( MONO!, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:19, archived)

This seems likely.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:25, archived)

this forum would look a lot better with a gifs all over the place

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:26, archived)

We should get these guys to give b3ta an overhaul
www.fabricland.co.uk/
( MONO!, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:28, archived)

MAGNIFICENT

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:29, archived)

it's beautiful in its simplicity
needs more gifs though, like this www.homerswebpage.com/
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:38, archived)

I'd like more JollyJack humourless cartoon cheesecake and child pornography.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:28, archived)

QFTW is a great place to dump gifs
even though it has caused a few people to ignore me.
( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:29, archived)

They're a proper bunch of weepy fucking bloobloos.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:30, archived)

my favourite was a guy shitting out of a moving car
someone actually ran to a mod and dobbed me in, wankers.
( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:31, archived)

The Mod is the weepiest of all the bloobloos.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:36, archived)

who's that then?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:39, archived)

Some weepy cunt.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:41, archived)

naming them gets you put on the naughty step

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:41, archived)

just gaz me their name then
so i know where to aim my hate
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 15:45, archived)

if you could push any animal through a woodchipper then what animal would you push through a woodchipper

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:33, archived)

an imaginary parrot

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:34, archived)

a dog

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:34, archived)

i have no desire to push an animal through a woodchipper

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:35, archived)

alt: what's the worst thing about Scotland

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:35, archived)

The people

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:36, archived)

haha, they're all unemployed and obese and addicted to heroin

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:38, archived)

hey i'm not obese

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 14:09, archived)

maybe not but you probably talk like och aye hoooo the auchtermuchty wey gwanna fer tae oot the hooos cannae wey arrrrrrrr, like that, all the fucking time, non fucking stop

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 14:17, archived)

mgt

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:38, archived)

Aberdeen.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:38, archived)

I've got a funny story about something that happened at a gig in Aberdeen
well, not really a story, more an anecdote and not all that amusing, might post it on qotw, probably win this week
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:40, archived)

I'll definitely vote for it.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:41, archived)

bit try-hard m8

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:35, archived)

Pugs

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:35, archived)

you'd push them through backwards and wank in their stupid little mutated faces

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:42, archived)

that one from the Muppets

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:36, archived)

Yoda?

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:40, archived)

Wombat.
Smug fat cunts.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:38, archived)

he really was a terrible paedophile

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:39, archived)

He was never prosecuted which makes him quite a successful paedophile.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:42, archived)

You'd have to be pretty thick to be outwitted by a 5 year old.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:49, archived)

you've obviously never met my dog

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 14:05, archived)

a woodchuck
see how much wood it could fucking chuck then
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:58, archived)

why would you do that?
that's horrid
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 14:10, archived)

it's hypothetical.
i think.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 14:12, archived)

yeah, keep telling yourself that

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 14:32, archived)

I don't have a television

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 14:31, archived)

have you tried listening to the radio instead?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 14:49, archived)

do you get to see any tit?

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 14:59, archived)

a human called frank
because he's a cunt
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 14:20, archived)

Lunch thread:
Not having any lunch. MGT has completely put me off eating.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:24, archived)

farting pissy shit everywhere and not cleaning it up

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:25, archived)

that's not really helping now is it?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:26, archived)

we've got a jar of nutella i'm not sure what to do with,
i never had it before, Spacefish ate most of it but i licked some off a spoon and it was quite nice, but what do you actually do with it?

i suppose i could just get a spoon and eat it straight out the jar
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:27, archived)

smear it over your haemorrhoids and get a dog to lick them clean.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:29, archived)

that's not really helping now is it?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:30, archived)

sorry I was channeling frank for a second there. You should smear it over your haemorrhoids and get a spacefish to lick them clean.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:32, archived)

Ah yes. The Fleshy Profiterole.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:40, archived)

I thought it was The Chocolate Doughnut?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:46, archived)

on toast
I think it's rank, too grainy for my tastes.
( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:30, archived)

i kind of feel it ought to go on something sweet,
like maybe a sponge cake or some shortbread or something
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:57, archived)

i had a tuna salad

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:29, archived)

ok

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:34, archived)

fuck off monday you cunt

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:41, archived)

I bet you went to the Hacienda when Shaun Ryder was playing there

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:43, archived)

well no, because I shitting well hated all that shitty Madchester shit
it was shit
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:45, archived)

nah, you were proper mad for it, sorted for e's and whizz and all that

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:47, archived)

ok

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:49, archived)

lol

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:45, archived)

any more MGT revelations today, I can't be arsed scrolling down, has she been massaging excrement into her distended leathery udders or something?

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:53, archived)

all sorts
she farted pissy shit everywhere and refused to clean it up
( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:08, archived)

alright

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:45, archived)

yo mongyhopper
this contract's shit, I might just print off hundreds of pages of donkey grot on the colour printers until they tell me to go home
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:49, archived)

Just get up and leave at lunch, I did that once

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:56, archived)

yeah, that's always fun
you don't even need to answer the phone to them, they eventually realise that you can't be arsed working for them and stop calling you
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:57, archived)

STOP

( MONO!, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:48, archived)

alright MONO
how's your parrot
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:50, archived)

Yeah, alright
she got a bit too horny and chewed my hand up the other day though
yours?
( MONO!, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:53, archived)

haha, your parrot fancies you
Momo just continues at the same level of charming stupidity, he got into the bedroom last week and wouldn't fuck off
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:55, archived)

Can you eat parrots, are they tasty

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:58, archived)

not much meat on a conure, might get a few sandwiches out of a macaw

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:59, archived)

yeah, she's a fucking prick.

( MONO!, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:20, archived)

today's poo was quite soft and gentle,
and flushed away in one go without any fuss at all. very civilised.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:54, archived)

3/10
Not up to the horrific standards of previous episodes.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:56, archived)

well yeah but it's hardening on the back of your legs now it's been exposed to the air for a few hours

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:57, archived)

nah it wasn't that long ago,
and i went in the shower straight after
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:00, archived)

nah it wasn't that long ago,
and i went in the shower straight after I walk round caked in my own festering excrement for months on end
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:02, archived)

this is b3ta, not your OKCupid profile

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:06, archived)

fuck okcupid, that's from my CV

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:09, archived)

Copros Vitae?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:16, archived)

Do your piles make it come out like a cake icing nozzle?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:58, archived)

no but i'll tell you about yesterday's in relation to confectionery,
because when it came out it was a rich dark brown, but as it slowly eroded it revealed underneath that it looked like the nougat inside a Toblerone, as if it were full of nuts or somesuch, which it may well have been because i've been eating a lot of peanuts lately.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:03, archived)

This is the sort of report I'd expect from Soviet engineers drilling a core sample out of a dung heap

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:04, archived)

i haven't had a poo yet today, would you like me to post on here how it goes when i next do a poo?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:59, archived)

I don't

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:00, archived)

that's one vote for no

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:01, archived)

No thanks
Mongychops is interested in poo stuff though, maybe just gaz him directly
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:10, archived)

of all people i thought you'd be most interested in a stool sample

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:11, archived)

he collects them

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:12, archived)

Nah, I just use that to get rid of people who won't shut up. I give then a little pot with a spoon in it and tell them to drop it to reception who send it to the lab, then it's their problem.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:13, archived)

I have no interest in forum users toilet habits, never have never will

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:14, archived)

God dammit MGT, your stupid fat arse has almost pushed me off the popular page.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:18, archived)

I'm having a smashing day.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:56, archived)

do people still say smashing, I thought that all stopped in the 1930s

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:58, archived)

in the wrecking ball, instant potato or pumpkins sense?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:59, archived)

I think he meant it as in 'having his back door smashed in'

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:11, archived)

You fuck off

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:57, archived)

there's no need for that now is there

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:04, archived)

You can fuck off and all

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:10, archived)

well really

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:14, archived)

alright garfield
maybe go cheer yourself up with a nice big lasagne yeah you fat prick
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 13:08, archived)

DON'T FUCKING PANIC!

( MONO!, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:17, archived)

MONO! you unscrupulous scoundrel.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:19, archived)

alright guffs

( MONO!, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:20, archived)

Aye. Not so bad.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:37, archived)

I heard MONO sold his last scruple down the market for 20 Benson and Hedges

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:20, archived)

you spelt boring cunt wrong

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:33, archived)

Alright monomonomono

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:27, archived)

heyyyoooooooooo

( MONO!, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:30, archived)

How's your Bum for spots?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:35, archived)

fine
yours?
( MONO!, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:36, archived)

Good now. I had a bit if a Bum thing, but the doc gave me some pills and it's cleared up.
I was worried they'd be up the bum pills, but they were normal pills.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:44, archived)

I hope you took them up the bum anyway
just to be sure
( MONO!, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:48, archived)

let's keep talking about poo

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:27, archived)

nah

( MONO!, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:30, archived)

oh ok

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:38, archived)

Yeah you can fuck off now, everyone's much more interested in MGT's bumhole.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:33, archived)

wrong

( MONO!, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:34, archived)

Don't make me do one of those minipoll things...

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:36, archived)

go on

( MONO!, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:36, archived)

wrong

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:37, archived)

do people really think that just washing my arse now and then is such a weird thing to do?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:20, archived)

I think posting about it on the internet is a weird thing to do

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:21, archived)

ok i grant you,
but it's only because i mentioned spraying suds all over the mirror that the subject came up, i thought that was a perfectly valid use of internet
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:23, archived)

I'd read that bit again
it was good internet
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:54, archived)

I keep checking /links for webcam footage.
I am disappoint.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:08, archived)

it's Frank hoarding all the dashcams
d g
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:09, archived)

I'm fairly certain this is a sex thing and it's making me feel ill

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:23, archived)

I think literally every aspect of your life is ridiculous.
Charitably I'd like to think that it's a series of attention-seeking affectations but at the back of my head is the awful suspicion that you genuinely don't understand what a revolting freak you are.

No offence like.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:25, archived)

coming from you, this is hilarious.

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:26, archived)

I think people are in awe of the sense of ritual that you have developed around it
a bit like tourists watching the Changing of the Guard, but with slightly less bear fur.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:25, archived)

slightly less considerably more
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:26, archived)

It's the logistics of the thing, over a sink with a mirror, if you were talking about a bidet or whatever that would be different.

( Zuowan, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:26, archived)

who said anything about over a sink?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:27, archived)

Or crouching over a limpid pool in a romantic glen.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:28, archived)

how did you unblock yours?
I haven't got a plunger and I've just clogged mine with an XXL chod
( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:31, archived)

unblock my arse?
well i went vegetarian for a couple of days, that really helped.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:32, archived)

You need:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=LzvrzLJxnko
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:34, archived)

Break it up with your boner.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:45, archived)

shit on top of it
the gravity will push it down
( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:56, archived)

Typical muslim

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:49, archived)

it's the manner in which you wash your arse
you could quite easily jump in the shower and spray your arse with the shower head and give it a quick scrub, why go through the effort of squatting over a mirror?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:00, archived)

Can't see if it's clean without a mirror though.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:02, archived)

you just keep scrubbing until the flannel doesn't come back smelling of shit

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:03, archived)

I guess that works.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:04, archived)

She actually uses one of Frank's dashcams

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:02, archived)

aww man, i wish i had a dash cam

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:06, archived)

splash cam more like amirite?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:09, archived)

that IS what i do,
the mirror is on the wall, i never said otherwise

well i don't get in "the shower" because it is a bath, but otherwise yes, that's pretty much how it works.

then i get out and spread my cheeks in front of the mirror, and you know the rest
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:26, archived)

oh yeah, ok that's fine
i take it all back, we all look at our arseholes in the mirror for a hygiene check
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:28, archived)

not just that,
i want to see how my piles are doing, if they're getting any better or worse
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:31, archived)

and are they?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:34, archived)

I think we need an independent panel of experts to decide.
Would you like to chair?
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:37, archived)

I don't really consider myself an expert
more an enthusiastic amateur
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:48, archived)

too early to say,
i should be taking photos really so i can compare them, maybe draw a graph
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:39, archived)

I've been looking at some html5 data visualisation tools recently.
Throbbing globes is quite a common theme.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:55, archived)

yeah with the bit about spray
bit weird
( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:02, archived)

I just don't see why. And I have a couple of questions.
If it's not over a sink, why do you have a Bum height mirror?
Do you not get bummy water on the floor?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:03, archived)

best ask Spacefish that,
he put the mirrors up
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:30, archived)

GET A GRIP OF YOURSELVES EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU THIS IS ABSOLUTELY ENOUGH YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES ITS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE PLAYING AT

( vladimir, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:03, archived)

well wash my arse, look who it is

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:05, archived)

alright the doveston

( vladimir, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:12, archived)

alright vlad
how is literally any aspect of your life?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:26, archived)

thanks for your interest, there is at least one aspect of my life that's good
I hope this is the case for you too The Doveston, as a minimum
( vladimir, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:34, archived)

yes

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:38, archived)

Alright, Vlad.
How clean is your arse?
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:07, archived)

alright. however I'm not getting into discussing this

( vladimir, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:11, archived)

I can't get a grip, I'm still covered in soap

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:08, archived)

I wonder if, with appropriate whittling
you could turn a bar of Imperial Leather into a lipstick, for rectal application.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:09, archived)

You should definitely google "soap buttplug" if you're at work or on a public internet

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:13, archived)

damn, I just can't choose which is best
www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPCSMvGsEak

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLj0FV_ZS74
( vladimir, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:15, archived)

I like the second one
Since both parents are dark-haired and the child is blonde, it reinforces the rumour that '80s elites were able to steal other people's children for bizarre sex antics.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:24, archived)

it's troo

( vladimir, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:33, archived)

^ YOU SEE? this is exactly what I'm talking about. I blame you for this MGT. they were all nice normal boys who talked about lego and doctor who before you confused them with this interminable arsetalk

( vladimir, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:10, archived)

^ unscrubbed arsehole

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:11, archived)

I refer the honourable board member to the reply I gave some moments ago

( vladimir, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:17, archived)

A 2x10 Lego brick makes an excellent tool for removing stubborn clags if you're too busy for a shower.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:16, archived)

what colour though?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:23, archived)

white
so you know you've got rid of it all
( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:24, archived)

Brown with subtle streaks of red. Like a damp fieldfare's chest.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:39, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 7:11, archived)

Undeniably.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 7:33, archived)

is it?

( Zuowan, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:01, archived)

in the civilised world, yes

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:02, archived)

something something maybe you should emigrate somewhere civilised something something
dumplings
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:24, archived)

I think maybe you just haven't found the right dumplings yet

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:34, archived)

I like breasts.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:42, archived)

the right dumplings
( Zuowan, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:22, archived)

gaylord
media.247sports.com/Uploads/Assets/922/615/615922.gif
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:25, archived)

That really is terribly hypnotic.
I like breasts.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:27, archived)

yes, I have seen these breasts on the internet before

( Zuowan, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:30, archived)

And if i have anything to do with it then you will see them again.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:32, archived)

yeah ok
let's up the sexy stakes a little
( Zuowan, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:36, archived)

I like it when she sang "I wish I could fly".
Keith Harris was a very talented performer.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:38, archived)

Terrible bullying of all the women on b3ta.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:48, archived)

All three of them.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:50, archived)

What they lack in numbers they make up for in mass.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:52, archived)

+ tonnes

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 10:11, archived)

Those ones have been contaminated by the plate above

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:26, archived)

Garlic breasts.
It's the future.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:42, archived)

"Scientists create disgusting boobs; sentencing due at The Hague"

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:44, archived)

She loves it when I spread my passata on her chest,
then lick it off and spit in her mouth.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:47, archived)

so is someone going to send me a dashcam or what?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:04, archived)

not today, soz

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:29, archived)

^ ponce
in the sense of trying to scrounge things, not a gay slur
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:35, archived)

scrounge? i was offered a dashcam and i accepted
what sort of world is this where people can't be held accountable to things they've said on the internet?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:53, archived)

well, mongy offered to send me a christmas present once and that never happened
which pretty much killed my last drop of faith in humanity.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 10:03, archived)

you are welcome

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 10:06, archived)

oh that's clever
his present was the gift of apathy
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 10:39, archived)

so?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 10:53, archived)

do you want to join the voter apathy party?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 10:57, archived)

nah screw it

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:10, archived)

welcome aboard brother

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:58, archived)

You ain't nothing but a hound dog.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:24, archived)

yeah? well you ain't nothin' but a bearcat

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:28, archived)

h r
d h
+ eating all the time
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:36, archived)

Yo dudes!

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:25, archived)

surf's up!

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:32, archived)

Tubular!

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:46, archived)

mooning

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:28, archived)

put it away, no-one wants to see that before breakfast

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:33, archived)

you're only jealous of my pert little bottom

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:35, archived)

pert it is, but little it ain't.
a small boy could climb aboard it and sail to New York
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:38, archived)

I think you must have mistaken me for someone else's bottom

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:40, archived)

maybe, you are quite often taken for an arse.

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:53, archived)

well this is hurtful

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:59, archived)

might do a shit in the bog and leave it to fester for a couple of hours

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:29, archived)

we should call it a Poo Brew

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:33, archived)

I like to sprinkle mine with arse dandruff.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:45, archived)

Cey-log

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:46, archived)

Ass-am

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:46, archived)

Earl Brown

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:47, archived)

Poolong

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:51, archived)

Pu-ehr

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:51, archived)

Typhoo One Plop

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:47, archived)

I once nailed my penis to a plank as a magic trick
It was a trick penis with a hole through it that could take a quarter-inch nail through.

So I basically aligned the nail with the hole and whacked it with the hammer. That way it barely touches the sides on the way through and the nail comes out the other side of the piece of wood.

Should have seen the look on the faces of the Women's Institute Committee.
( Lord Gnome, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 8:58, archived)

^ Jo Brand

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:18, archived)

dunno

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:03, archived)

it wasn't a question

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:18, archived)

Monday, too.
Fuck it.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:09, archived)

how do you fuck a Monday?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:33, archived)

Send him on an expenses paid holiday to the crack cocaine capital of the Caribbean.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:34, archived)

Quickly, before anyone notices.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:34, archived)

i met this girl on monday

( Zuowan, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:37, archived)

We won't believe what happens next!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:39, archived)

take away his maracas
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:39, archived)

morning

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:28, archived)

alright MGT
I'd like to congratulate you your dominance of the poopular page
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:31, archived)

well,
they always said the popular page was shit
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 10:05, archived)

This place would be dead on its arse without MGT's arse.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 10:38, archived)

dun a ploppy yet?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:33, archived)

not yet,
i'll keep you posted
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 10:08, archived)

although there is another thing you might find interesting,
last night i was washing my arse, and looking in the mirror to see if i'd missed a bit, when i did a big trump and sprayed soapy water all over the mirror.

i don't think i'll ever be able to stop laughing.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 10:11, archived)

either you have a magic mirror that doesn't get steamed up or you wash yourself with a rag on a stick

( Zuowan, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 10:34, archived)

it does get steamed up,
but not the instant i turn the tap on, i don't know how long it takes you to wash your arse
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 10:40, archived)

Are we talking about wiping here or having a shower?
Because I don't know why seperate washing would be required if you don't wear a nappy.
( Zuowan, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 10:47, archived)

just washing my arse,
a good idea if you've got piles, not sure why i should have to explain everything like this
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 10:49, archived)

You wash your arse from a tap whilst crouched over a mirror.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 10:56, archived)

a tap...
where water comes from... yes
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 10:57, archived)

is this normal behaviour in the uk now?
will i be expected to do this if i come back?
( Zuowan, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 10:57, archived)

in front of the Queen,
she'll be taking notes and giving you a score out of 10
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 10:59, archived)

can't believe you've never just washed your arse,
it is good to go to bed with a clean bottom.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 10:59, archived)

i don't know, i just have showers like a regular person, that seems to be sufficient

( Zuowan, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:02, archived)

for the effort required to wash your arse alone you might as well just jump in the shower

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:02, archived)

you what,
i can't believe you people, of course washing my entire body and hair is more effort than just washing my bum, it takes 15 minutes just to dry my hair, i can wash my bum in like a minute or two
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:05, archived)

Thats a hairy arse you have

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:06, archived)

i see what you did there

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:07, archived)

how about your face?
do you ever just wash your face or do you have to completely undress and get in the shower every time you get some nutella on your lip?
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:07, archived)

Stop pretending that your ridiculous toilet habits are normal.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:15, archived)

i never did,
it's not "normal" even for me, it's not like i always do it, but i'm genuinely quite puzzled that the very idea of just washing my arse has generated such a hullabaloo
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:18, archived)

Its a scottish thing only

( mongychops, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 10:59, archived)

No. It's not normal.
No matter how indignant mgt becomes, it is categorically and unequivocally not normal. Even in the most backwards corners of Scotland.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:14, archived)

you know, if I'd done some sweaty DIY during the weekend I'd probably take a shower before my Sunday roast
which would be about 5pm, then I'd eat and watch a film and maybe have a glass of wine, at which point my other half would groggily suggest that we retire to bed for an early night. Since red wine lowers her inhibitions, I'd wager that this early night is more than a few lazy minutes of groin-thrusting, and might actually involve more exotic delights such as ball-fondling, giving her The Shark and maybe getting a rimjob. So that the waft of my sunday-sofa-besweated arsecrack doesn't make her upchuck Yorkshire pudding all over my bollocks, I'd probably nip into the bathroom and soap up my brown eye, but without taking a full-on Badados-lathered shower since I'd had one just a few hours earlier.

But then, even then, when the satisfaction of my prostate depending on it, I wouldn't examine the results with a propped-up mirror.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:24, archived)

it's screwed to the wall,
if it helps.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:27, archived)

in that case
I'd strike a pose before fleeting to the bedroom to let my other half rummage through my colon with her tongue.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 11:38, archived)

"Don't strain, eat grain"

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:34, archived)

RTPYBO;IRTW.

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 0:08, archived)

Actually Jim, I've just been bumraped by a tramp

( Zuowan, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 4:26, archived)

alright

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 20:21, archived)

alright Grrrrrrrrmechanism
you you flush the khazi after you've had a shit? or do you leave your filth poking six inches clear of the waterline for the rest of the day?
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 20:40, archived)

in the rare event that one of my ultralogs won't go round the bend
I break it up with something disposable, like a chopstick, rather than leave a biohazard festering a few feet away from my fucking toothbrush, I mean, jesus fucking christ, I knew the Scots were barbaric but I didn't know dysentry was their national fucking hobby for crying out loud.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 20:54, archived)

well that's a very detailed answer, I liked the chopstick detail, 8.5/10 would read again

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 20:57, archived)

it's "dysentery" by the way

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 21:41, archived)

alright Grrrmachine

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 21:05, archived)

alright milknosugar
turns out MGT just shits on the living room carpet and leaves it there, who knew eh
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 21:12, archived)

poor spacefish

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 21:18, archived)

He's lucky. Grrrmachismo would have broken him up with a chopstick and flushed him away.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 21:43, archived)

i'm glad i've given you all something to talk about, anyway

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 22:15, archived)

That is exactly what Hitler said.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 22:35, archived)

ok
Monday tomorrow though.
( theniwokeup has been awake since, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 21:31, archived)

Yer

( mongychops, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 22:23, archived)

well this is a lot of fun

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 14:45, archived)

I had fun today

( mongychops, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 14:53, archived)

did you run a dog over?

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 16:13, archived)

hell yeah!

( $$ ✅, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 15:11, archived)

just been watching DS9

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 15:35, archived)

how many pints of water have you had today?

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 15:43, archived)

two cups of tea,
a cup of coffee and a glass of juice

that's probably about 2 pints i guess
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 16:00, archived)

carry on

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 16:04, archived)

just having another glass of juice

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 16:53, archived)

that poo i did this morning
is now wedged sideways right across the front of the U bend

it be like "none shall pass"
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 17:43, archived)

You've left a lump of shit in your bog all day?
You rank cunt.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 17:46, archived)

what am i supposed to do,
fish it out with my hands? if it won't go, it won't go.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 17:49, archived)

Yeah. Fair play. Leaving a shit to fester in your bog is a perfectly normal thing for an adult to do oh no wait it's fucking rank.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 17:50, archived)

well my attitude is,
it's not embarrassing me, it's only embarrassing itself.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 17:54, archived)

timestamped pic of the khazi or it's still there

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 17:59, archived)

i almost took a photo of it when i first did it,
it was such a masterpiece
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 18:02, archived)

see this, this is your khazi
this is your khazi in the house where you live
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 18:06, archived)

clicking all these

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 18:26, archived)

I won't be happy until the popular board is entirely full of Bob Todd faecal failures.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 19:00, archived)

FAILURES?
How very dare you!
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 19:26, archived)

You live with human effluent floating around your house.
If that isn't a catastrophic life failure then I don't want to know what is.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 19:39, archived)

floating around?
come on that's a bit hyperbolic isn't it? it was most certainly a sinker.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 20:00, archived)

this is right up there with the Bob Todd jamrag saga

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 17:51, archived)

sorry to disappoint
but i just pissed on it and it's gone now
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 17:53, archived)

congratulations, your level of hygiene returned to slightly above that of a bag lady

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 17:54, archived)

i'm just glad i'm no longer shitting my own veins out,
at one point i thought it was going to emit a kidney
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 17:56, archived)

b3ta.com/questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post2578331
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 18:36, archived)

star trek is the only thing shitter than dr who and star wars
/ac
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 16:14, archived)

DS9 is better than Dr Who,
it's the only Star Trek i can bear to watch
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 16:45, archived)

this is you
all these people are you

i.imgur.com/uUn7r37.png
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 17:10, archived)

poss nsfw

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 17:10, archived)

shoe polish on your bell end, now that's commitment

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 17:18, archived)

ha,
i'm getting a bit worried actually, that watching so much of it is turning us both into trekkies
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 17:16, archived)

i ain't watching fucking Voyager though

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 17:26, archived)

wanky wanky wank wank wanky wank

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 17:50, archived)

Is this a sex thing? Is ha

( mongychops, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 18:20, archived)

I didn't realise they made eight sequels to Dog Stabber.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 16:20, archived)

I've had a smashing day.
SMYLS
(blah di blah di blah blah, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 16:20, archived)

every day you wake up and you're not baldmonkey is a good day

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 17:18, archived)

That's for damn sure.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 17:25, archived)

F5 F5 F5

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 13:31, archived)

hey I'm doing my best here
not my fault the place is dead on its arse
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 13:38, archived)

bump

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 13:43, archived)

wanky wanky wank wank wanky wank

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 13:43, archived)

yeah well,
your best is frankly embarrassing
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 13:45, archived)

harsh

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 13:46, archived)

shut up, MGT

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 13:46, archived)

shut up MGT

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 14:27, archived)

what cunt clicked that?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 17:26, archived)

ok, we'll just sit back and enjoy this great thread you started then

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 13:46, archived)

it's doing better than yours so far,
let's be honest
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 13:46, archived)

because I replied

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 13:52, archived)

wanky wanky wank wank wanky wank

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 13:55, archived)

suplex city
clap clap clapclapclap
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 14:11, archived)

hey it's ok, I'm here now

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 12:55, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 9:01, archived)

Hows the honeymoon

( mongychops, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 10:06, archived)

s'alright, might pop out for a celebratory quarter pounder or something

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 11:01, archived)

have you got married then, I'm not up to speed on this

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 12:53, archived)

Gays can get married now...oh hahaha

( mongychops, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 13:17, archived)

they always could get married.
just not to each other.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 13:24, archived)

I'm just not clear on this though
b3ta.com/talk/5968861
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 13:31, archived)

Morning. So did you actually get married yesterday?
If so congratulations!
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 11:24, archived)

bit nosey m8

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 11:26, archived)

yer I did, what of it?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 11:32, archived)

Welcome to the club, married life is great.
Like yesterday I got to drive to Birmingham and spend half a months pay on a handbag and then another hundred quid on a dinner that she sicked up all over my car on the way home.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 11:57, archived)

wow what kind of a handbag costs £450?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 13:29, archived)

gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

( $$ ✅, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 12:12, archived)

morning,
i did a huge poo that won't flush down, it was a lot easier to pass than it has been lately but i don't know if i'm any less constipated or whether i've just stretched my bumhole.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 11:28, archived)

you really have got popular paging down to a fine art

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 11:38, archived)

well it's either that or rocking back and forth

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 11:40, archived)

rock poop
+ forever
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 11:58, archived)

taking it in turns to act as toilet

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 12:03, archived)

The concept is explained adequately here.
m.youtube.com/watch?v=KQoJo81lujk
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 12:06, archived)

I like my idea better, armitage shanks cosplay

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 12:43, archived)

poo flex shitty
crap crap crapcrapcrap
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 14:26, archived)

wanky wanky wank wank wanky wank

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 12:39, archived)

sixty-eight days to christmas!

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 22:15, archived)

alright Frank

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 22:49, archived)

shit

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 0:49, archived)

 

( ° L °)




 
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 2:28, archived)

so what's the betting on this being the last christmas for b3ta

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 16:08, archived)

i think as long as we all work together like a family b3ta will never close
it's more than just a forum, it's our home
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 16:10, archived)

Bob has always stated that even if nobody is here the site will carry on, he's a cunt

( mongychops, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 16:10, archived)

I'm happy as long as I get my newsletter every week

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 16:12, archived)

I don't care you fat wanker, ts

( mongychops, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 20:35, archived)

this place is fine,
we've matured. we no longer feel the need to constantly post all the time, comfortable just to be in each other's company, silently rocking back and forth and pressing F5 all day.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 16:30, archived)

alright MGT you horrendous fishwife

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 16:37, archived)

alright

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 17:08, archived)

Dover Athletic 2, Macclesfield 1, can you believe it eh

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 20:25, archived)

soz, all football results look the same to me

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 20:52, archived)

you fat idiot

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 21:15, archived)

matured beyond the point of thinking penis shaped balloon hats are funny

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 17:27, archived)

Not me, soz, lol

( mongychops, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 17:39, archived)

:-D

( vladimir, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 20:55, archived)

hopefully

( $$ ✅, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 16:32, archived)

that would be sadder than the little match girl

( vladimir, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 20:55, archived)

she stole stock from her workplace, she deserved everything she got, thieving pikey bitch

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 21:10, archived)

thanks for that ian duncan smith

( vladimir, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 21:19, archived)

I'll be honest with you, I believe unemployeds and spastics should be burned at the stake

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 21:25, archived)

believe unemployeds and spastics should be burned at the stake just really really love kate bush and all her work
( vladimir, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 21:38, archived)

I'd have given her a thump up the knickers 30 years ago, that's as far as it goes

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 22:06, archived)

NZ by 20-25 points.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 21:00, archived)

when's dr who on?

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 21:09, archived)

watch this instead, it's like dr who and it's also got hugh laurie and jennifer saunders in it www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTUcoR8_pyE
( vladimir, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 21:11, archived)

no wait the other one, I mean dawn french, sorry dawn!
( vladimir, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 21:12, archived)

I don't like any of those people

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 21:14, archived)

it's got kate bush in it too, does that make it any easier
( vladimir, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 21:16, archived)

do you actually think I like her? I mean, have you ever read any of my posts here ever?

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 21:24, archived)

I think this post is pretty much 100% kate bush
b3ta.com/talk/7853612
( vladimir, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 21:32, archived)

it could equally be construed as 100% Chas and Dave you daft cunt

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sat 17 Oct 2015, 22:06, archived)

I had to click that I wasn't a fucking robot
0110011001110101011000110110101100100000011101000110100001100001011101000010000001110011011010000110100101110100
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 0:47, archived)

no, fuck YOUR shit

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 18:11, archived)