morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 7:18, archived)

good morrow to ya!
I am going for to fetch me some grub and some slurp. eat, drink and be merry!
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 7:24, archived)

Even after ten years here
I still know absolutely nothing about you
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 7:34, archived)

there will come a day when all shall be revealed
I'm just keeping a very low profile because things "aren't right" yet
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 7:55, archived)

If you keep putting it off then it'll never happen

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 8:09, archived)

Thorneing /talk

( H.B.Mupps, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 7:28, archived)

I don't even know who Willie Thorne is

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 7:33, archived)

Me either, even with the internet in my hand I've never looked him up

( H.B.Mupps, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 7:40, archived)

Ringmorn

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Apr 2017, 7:49, archived)

ringworm
I had that infection quite a few times when I was a preteen in the US
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 7:53, archived)

It really is a 3rd world country.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Apr 2017, 7:55, archived)

sho nuff is when you grow up in the projects

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 7:56, archived)

I got that when I adopted Prrrmachine
I hugged her to my chest to keep her warm, and next day I went to see a client without wearing a tie and they pointed out a perfect ringworm scab just below my adam's apple, like I'm some sort or scrofulous immigrant peasant.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 8:09, archived)

Are you gonna climb out of my TV?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 7:55, archived)

No

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Apr 2017, 8:06, archived)

'Sup, honkies?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 7:54, archived)

*honks*

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 7:55, archived)

Smashing, don't you know.
Tickety-boo.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 8:10, archived)

I don't know if this banter is reminiscent of our imperial built-on-the-blood-of-slaves era
or our valiant WW2 defend-Europe-at-all-costs era, so I don't know whether to be proud or disgusted with you.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 8:15, archived)

It's more 'stiff upper lip' than 'rivers of blood'.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 8:18, archived)

suppressing our emotions is how we let the Tories win

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 8:34, archived)

happy chernobyl day

( $$ ✅, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 8:15, archived)

I'd like to go there
STALKER was my favourite series of games
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 8:16, archived)

I bet ISIS try and blow it up

( $$ ✅, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 8:21, archived)

I'd also like to go there

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 8:21, archived)

me too

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 8:46, archived)

jeremy wade went fishing there, he found mutant fish but no river monsters in the cooling ponds

( mongychops, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 8:21, archived)

damn, if there's no monsters I might as well go to the other side of Warsaw
It's got the same deteriorating 80s block slums.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 8:23, archived)

I meant that as a joke, but now I've researched it
Pripyat and the sarcophagus

Warsaw's Sadyba district
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 8:25, archived)

that's the new sarcophagus, have they rolled it over it yet? it was being built on tracks

( mongychops, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 8:29, archived)

yep, all done

( $$ ✅, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 8:30, archived)

i'll sleep soundly now

( mongychops, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 8:34, archived)

yer, happened a day or two ago
imgur.com/gallery/fsjPO
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 8:30, archived)

wow, i await the tv program

( mongychops, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 8:33, archived)

Yeah there was a documentary on bbc4 a while back of them doing it.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 9:03, archived)

Good morning Grrrmachine
The weather is beautiful here today. I might go out in the car with the roof down.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 8:46, archived)

it's pissing it down here
and it's predicted to all the way through the upcoming 5-day weekend, o ho ho
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 8:51, archived)

It's brass monkeys and dark over here.
Let the internet record reflect that I am WEARING A JUMPER.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 8:59, archived)

hi

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 9:02, archived)

you can be more than this

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 9:28, archived)

I'm not sure that I can, you know

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 9:35, archived)

Alright 'Brian Ferry'.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 9:37, archived)

Gosport ferry, more like

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 9:38, archived)

Stromeferry (No ferry)

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 9:42, archived)

ho

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 9:06, archived)

silver

( mongychops, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 9:07, archived)

away

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 9:25, archived)

away - Theme from 'Boon'
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 9:44, archived)

had to google that
never heard of it
( $$ ✅, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 9:54, archived)

morning

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 9:49, archived)

alright MGT
I researched that Atari; I never even knew the firm was bought out by the Poles
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 9:51, archived)

the Tories are evil and incompetent
and i am going to bed
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 22:18, archived)

Would it be worse if they were evil and competent, though?

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 22:39, archived)

i'm honestly not sure,
because when they fuck up their own evil plans, it doesn't mean anything good comes out of it, it just seems to produce more evils they never thought of.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 26 Apr 2017, 9:43, archived)

Nope.
Just evil by the look of it
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Apr 2017, 23:03, archived)

Theresa May is just a bully with no real firmly held beliefs, easily led by the cuntiest person in the room.
This fetishisation of strong leadership will not end well.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 23:09, archived)

Is gay sex a sin?
Asking for a friend
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:28, archived)

no
now drop your pants
( $$ ✅, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:29, archived)

like what you see?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:41, archived)

hell yeah!

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:44, archived)

Whatever today's pope says

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:31, archived)

today's pope, tomorrow's chip poper

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:42, archived)

It depends

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:32, archived)

on what?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:43, archived)

Which way round they do it.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Apr 2017, 18:00, archived)

It is the way *I* do it!
hahahahaha
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:35, archived)

pervert

( $$ ✅, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:40, archived)

Well a dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste!
hahahahahaha
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:42, archived)

I'm so going to bum you

( $$ ✅, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:45, archived)

Tits first, I'm not a slag

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:51, archived)

yeah, go to hell for it

( mongychops, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:35, archived)

I bet they'd like that though dirty bastards

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:44, archived)

they'd be forced to sex women for eternity

( mongychops, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:54, archived)

Hang on, this gives me an idea...

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:59, archived)

I don't remember it being on the ten commandments tablet
Or being featured in the movie 'Seven'

So Im going to say no.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:50, archived)

Do I look like Neil Tennant to you?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:52, archived)

no but it is 'ass in'!
does that work?
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 18:03, archived)

yes

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 18:04, archived)

Yeah, it's quite good actually

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Apr 2017, 18:05, archived)

hang on I voted brexit so we didn't have to talk like americans any more

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 18:43, archived)

Ass-king for a friend, more like

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 18:18, archived)

Everything I've ever done
Everything I ever do
Ever place I've ever been
Every where I'm going to
It's a sin
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 18:58, archived)

Stick it up your bottom.

(ian rush's inadequate flushes, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 19:02, archived)

ok now what?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 19:04, archived)

Take it out again, give it to the dog to sniff
His reaction will shock you!
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 19:08, archived)

More like a SPIN, geddit????

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 20:20, archived)

"No moaning" thread:
Why are you so happy?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:17, archived)

the wheely bins were collected on time and put back tidily on the pavement

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:26, archived)

I haven't put my bins out for months
brb hasn't been here to remind me :(
( H.B.Mupps, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:53, archived)

I've got some nice new recipes from this cookery thing I was at on the weekend.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:28, archived)

Never mind the recipes, did you get to meet a new "lady friend"?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:31, archived)

such as?

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:42, archived)

snooker all week, party saturday
and the blanket i'm making for my niece will be finished by tomorrow morning
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:33, archived)

Prozac in the water supply to mask the arsenic, at least we'll die with a smile on our faces, like in the only good Batman film

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:37, archived)

Batman & Robin is a batmasterpiece.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:40, archived)

It certainly resurrected the 60s high camp element, bit of a reaction to all the grim darkness, DC could probably do with a shot of that now

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:43, archived)

They tried that with suicide squad

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:30, archived)

Battyman and Robin, more like.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:43, archived)

that was hilariously camp
but it left me wanting a necklace just like Nora Freeze's
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:48, archived)

^ This
Big budget, all star cast, and Batman's suit had nipples, truly a masterpiece
( H.B.Mupps, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:02, archived)

BRRRRAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPP BRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPO POP POP BANG BANG POP BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPP

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:45, archived)

RIP you legend

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 14:56, archived)

I did a really satisfying poo

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:10, archived)

and I just finished another Lego video

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:11, archived)

can't compete with that

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:12, archived)

All boxes ticked?
Minimal wiping required
No splashback
Not painful
You now feel 1 stone lighter
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:15, archived)

Actually I don't want to know

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:18, archived)

I had biryani for lunch every day last week and things went from their usual 'tipping an eel out of a wellie' to actually having to strain.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:20, archived)

tipping an eel out of a wellie
why is that making me laugh so much?
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:33, archived)

TICKS ACROSS THE BOARD

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:40, archived)

Nothing about a no nonsense flush?
You've either got good plumbing or a lack of fibre in your diet.
( fuscous, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:45, archived)

A good toilet

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:56, archived)

There's something odd with the one at work, it's the only lav I consistently leave looking like the starting line at Brands Hatch.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:41, archived)

I have just received a cheque from the council for £500 (almost) for overpayment of council tax
And I am booking a holiday to the Dominican Republic. These things have cheered me up.

Also has anyone ever bought any 'shrooms off the dark web?
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:15, archived)

If you're going to risk the whole dark web/ postage deal
Why not get something you can't pick for free in 6 months or so?
( fuscous, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:23, archived)

dunno

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:17, archived)

maybe you're not

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:27, archived)

Oh, I'm definitely not
But that's not what he asked
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:33, archived)

Think outside the box, 2H.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:24, archived)

Ok
Now what?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:30, archived)

What's it like out there?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 17:20, archived)

i bought some stuff from a fella who just got 16m for handling stolen goods, my bits were not stolen goods, thanks fuck

( mongychops, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:45, archived)

because I'm Jewish

( $$ ✅, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:59, archived)

^Jewvial

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:01, archived)

I'm also not spanishfly which helps

( $$ ✅, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:02, archived)

+maybe it's
+that I love Jewson builders merchants
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:05, archived)

so true

( $$ ✅, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:26, archived)

Because I have saved an extra 25% on goods from the Adidas website
So happy was I, that I emailed details to mcbeef.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 16:48, archived)

Alright dudes!
What's going in your neighbourhood that you'd like to whinge about? There's an open garden event on my road, which sounds like a good excuse to go and have a nose round some other people's houses, maybe Nick a stereo or something.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:25, archived)

I have moaned about my neighbours on here before
and doing so just angers up my blood and reminds me of all the reasons why I dislike living here. So if you'll excuse me, I will not be participating in this thread. I will forever remain, TH x
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:31, archived)

^triggered

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:37, archived)

seem to be a lot of yoots about on mountain bikes lately, all over the roads and pavements, lucky the police have now started confiscating the bikes

( mongychops, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:34, archived)

Wont they just go steal some more from outside posh north London flat blocks?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:37, archived)

i live in se lahndahn so no

( mongychops, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:02, archived)

People who cycle on pavements shouldn't be allowed to die, let alone live.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:44, archived)

Loads of that around where I work.
Some twat had the gall to tinkle her bell at me, rather than just go around me or, perish the thought, cycle on the empty road.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:50, archived)

I've had that. It got my blood right up.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:50, archived)

If I wasn't so unfailingly polite, I'd have pushed her over.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:51, archived)

Member the good old days, when you could physically assault anyone whose behaviour didn't meet your personal standards
and if they went crying to the police they'd probably get a sound thrashing and told to man the fuck up, member
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:07, archived)

A lack of parking, and an abundance of rubbish pubs.
These are perennial issues, though, and the parking issue likely isn't helped by the 4 cars that my household contributes to those parked on the road.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:34, archived)

You know what.
This is a shit idea for a thread
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:42, archived)

I thought it was bad enough when me and TH were comparing ailments, but now you've opened it up for moany old sods with petty complaints about where people place their wheely bins

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:44, archived)

I was supposed to go to the quacks this morning but the doctor threw a sickie so I'm going tomorrow now.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:45, archived)

And then some.
Let's go back to talking about shoes.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:45, archived)

First world problems, I'm concerned with how expensive nommy cadbury chocolate will be after poland won't give the recipe back, because brexit

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:24, archived)

6 music are playing some dodgy radio edit of Leave Them All Behind rather than the 8-minute version.
Why bother?
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:35, archived)

Because god forbid you go 10 minutes without Lauren Laverne whittering on about nothing.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:40, archived)

I don't mind her too much.
Nemone seems to select better tunes and talk fewer when she's covering for her though.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:42, archived)

Far too often, I find myself switching off 6 Music as, despite the name, it has a level of chat that can rival Radio 4.
Found that someone has taken to publishing their playlists on Deezer, which is ideal.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:48, archived)

I enjoyed Tom Ravenscroft sitting in for her, and his obvious disdain for the biorhythms stuff.

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:58, archived)

Yeah Ravenscroft is alright. He's more than happy to play records and do little more than say what they are every now and then.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:03, archived)

I'd ask little else from a dj on a music station.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:11, archived)

And yet Radcliffe and Maconi are like a Smashy and Nicey tribute act.
Member Pat 'The Darth Vader of the Master Fader' Sharp being hot stuff on Capital for being able to talk bollocks? 'member?
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:14, archived)

Fortunately not.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:19, archived)

some students moved in next door
and they set their alarms for 6:00 and then hit snooze half a dozen times, and I can hear every sodding tone they've set on their fucking phones.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:37, archived)

Pop round and have a word.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:41, archived)

last time I grabbed a block of wood and a hammer
and pounded on the wall a few times. That shut them up.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:47, archived)

Very passive aggressive.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:50, archived)

I don't think there's anything passive about using a hammer m8

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:57, archived)

Maybe not if you were bludgeoning someone with it.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:58, archived)

Maybe you should punch one or two

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:42, archived)

ask which one is the hardest and then punch him

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:48, archived)

Sometimes I snooze my alarm for two hours. Don't bring it.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:43, archived)

you are worse than hitler

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:05, archived)

It's not my fault. It's societies fault for expecting me to get out of bed and go to work.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:10, archived)

The houses on both sides of mine seem to be empty, by a stroke of fate.
What sort of people my neighbours will turn out to be might emerge in a month or so as soon as the builders have finished.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:45, archived)

too many immigrants
in fact, the whole city has been made up of immigrants and the children of immigrants for my entire life
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:47, archived)

My downstairs neighbour leaves her dogends on the doorstep but does tend to pick them up daily to be fair.
I'm not really that bothered by it but she could put them in a plant pot or something.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:48, archived)

living in scotchland you should be grateful it's only dog ends and not syringes

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:50, archived)

I didn't know the phrase 'dog ends' so I just thought you meant dog poos

( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 15:32, archived)

hardly anyone turns up to the neighbourhood watch meetings that I go to a lot of trouble to arrange

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:54, archived)

Alright, Lynda Snell.
How's the llamas?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:57, archived)

I have something for this.
mobile.twitter.com/Toadsanime/status/855760304285896704
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:11, archived)

I hope there's a circle of hell, reserved for those who film with their phone in portrait.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:14, archived)

Better than that is those who keep turning the phone between portrait and landscape, just to stop you enjoying the file after rotating 90 degrees in VLC

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:22, archived)

Looks like Rob's venturing into edgy satire again.
twitter.com/robmanuel/status/856827745891954689
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:20, archived)

what exactly has Teresa done to make everyone hate her?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:23, archived)

Well for starters she's massively authoritarian, seems to despise civil liberties, doctors reports that goes against her own ideology, wants to dismantle the NHS and is completely unable to give a straight answer to any question.
Oh and she's tore countless families apart by fucking around with non-eu migration mostly to try and appear 'tough'.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:26, archived)

^
Although, "she's a Tory" would have sufficed, for me.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:46, archived)

pbs.twimg.com/media/C-Mypa8WAAA6zvz.jpg
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:00, archived)

Well, that's my nightmare sorted for tonight.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:02, archived)

Not had children
that seems to be sufficient for most
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:27, archived)

Well everyone seems to hate diane abbot for non-specific grounds that aren't totally about trying to cloak their own racism.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:29, archived)

I dislike her because sending her kids to private school was an act of rank hypocrisy, and because she made some weird comment about black women being better mothers.
Most of all, though, I just find her voice to be really annoying.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:44, archived)

you're just trying to cloak your own racism here

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:46, archived)

I think you're right.
No black in the Union Jack, after all.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:50, archived)

tggi

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:54, archived)

is it a black cloak?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:03, archived)

while you were out partying
I was cloaking my racism
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:04, archived)

i think she is wonderful

( mongychops, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:35, archived)

the video for smack my bitch up was considered by many to be misogynistic

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:39, archived)

A proper gentleman allows his lady wife to inject first

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:43, archived)

She's very popular down here in the workshop

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:50, archived)

some cunt's moaning that he's had his new garden parasol nicked
apart from that, not much
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 12:57, archived)

Maybe you should give it back?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:03, archived)

i don't go in the garden much
and have no need for a parasol
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:05, archived)

Is he sure it's not just blown away?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:04, archived)

that seems to be the general consensus
but he's convinced someone's had it off
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:05, archived)

Well if he didn't want his parasol to not get nicked or blown away perhaps he should keep it in a shed when he's not sat under it.
They go all manky left out anyway.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:20, archived)

he's a bit of a showoff

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:21, archived)

Police are looking for a suspect described as invisible with a warm front
capable of gusts up to 40mph
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:05, archived)

yep

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:09, archived)

Mcbeef's had the Kevin Bacon treatment?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:15, archived)

Tits

( broadsword w⚓, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:22, archived)

Bazongas.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:47, archived)

no thanks, already got some

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 13:58, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 7:27, archived)

Orite Grrry

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 7:43, archived)

wotchamate mupps
didn't know you were a vapist
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 7:45, archived)

Filthy hipster vapist, been on it for a couple of years now
Although giving tips and advice to people getting on it make me look like the guy on the left
( H.B.Mupps, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 7:51, archived)

Whatever will you all do when 'they' prove that it causes cancer more than fags

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 7:53, archived)

Blaze it probably
Then go ingest some other carcinogen, theres loads to pick from
( H.B.Mupps, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:00, archived)

I hear that the cool kids are all snorting phthalates

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:02, archived)

cthulu is a dealer?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:10, archived)

Snap!'s less successful zzzzzzz...

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:17, archived)

I've got a couple of 18650 cells I use for projects
vapists love talking about them, right?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 7:59, archived)

Not to my knowledge, they're just the standard batteries for box mods
Although I'll say having bought several its amazing how prolific knock offs and rewrapped cells are online
( H.B.Mupps, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:05, archived)

Morning.
Bike wasn't running rich, it was misfiring because the connection to the voltage regulator was loose. Also explains why the battery was dying.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Apr 2017, 7:57, archived)

that sounds like a really obvious fix

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:02, archived)

Yeah,
I feel a bit daft for not checking. problem with reading plugs is a misfire looks almost identical to a rich mix.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:09, archived)

I avoid this issue by not working on anything with shitty stoneage carburetted engines

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:10, archived)

Woah now.
Angry
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:20, archived)

I had a carbed VW engine in my Audi
hateful piece of 8V shit
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:21, archived)

Ah. I get it now.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:28, archived)

Yeah, I was gonna say that.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:12, archived)

ball so hard motherfuckers wanna fine me

( mongychops, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 7:58, archived)

you listen to Kanye now?
I've lost the last scrap of respect I had for you
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:02, archived)

Well, i read today that grime artists support Jeremy Corbyn, so I'm going to start listening to grime

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:10, archived)

there is some good stuff out there

( mongychops, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:02, archived)

of the little I've heard, some of them need to move their lyrics on from US hip hop tropes, but we're due a great album from one of them soon

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:43, archived)

I like that Stormzy fella

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:36, archived)

shut up

( mongychops, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:40, archived)

He was on Radio 4, the other week, so I've heard of him.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:57, archived)

I quite liked the early-2000's UK hip hop stuff.
Kid Acne, Braintax, Jehst and Klashnekoff were all quite good.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:37, archived)

what about mercury award winning mr rascal eh

( mongychops, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:41, archived)

mercury award schmercury award

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:51, archived)

oooiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
fix up look sharp
( mongychops, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:16, archived)

I just looked up who he was up against
certainly none of the others deserved any prizes
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:21, archived)

Based on the shortlists shown in Wikipedia,
it looks like 2005 was the last time I paid any attention to music.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:30, archived)

it's all just noise anyway
there's nary a tune you can whistle to
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:42, archived)

wow, an award shared by the likes of M People and Gomez
what an honour
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:59, archived)

that gomez album was great

( mongychops, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:12, archived)

I didn't like his funny voice

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:19, archived)

The Mercury award strikes me as something of a musical kiss of death.
Or maybe it's just that the nominees are thrust into the spotlight, then sink back into the obscurity from whence they came, once it's all over.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 11:21, archived)

i've always listened to kanye

( mongychops, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:01, archived)

Morning.
The sun is shining and the birds are singing and all that l33t sort of stuff is happening.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:16, archived)

I walked a mile and a half
then cycled a mile and a half
and now I'm sitting at a desk in front of multiple monitors with the blinds down trying to pretend that Outside doesn't exist.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:21, archived)

Sounds bizarrely similar to my morning so far.
With less walking and more cycling, but still. The birdsong has been replaced by the sound of the ceiling fan.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:25, archived)

I drove to work and am now sitting on my arse with my back to the outside
yet I still don't need some silly fat girls' diet
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:45, archived)

it's not a fat girls diet
it's a beasting in the pit, well dench diet, which is a hundred times worse. Still, I've lost half a stone so far.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:48, archived)

^ gym bunny

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:05, archived)

remember: celery = negative calories
stay strong hun xx
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:08, archived)

fibre offsets carbs, so Imma chomp that shit right up

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:28, archived)

Tell me more about these silly fat girls, pls

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:54, archived)

they'll do owt for a bit of chocolate cake

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:02, archived)

Low self-esteem in the streets, beast in the sheets

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:09, archived)

It's not all about you, Two Hats.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:16, archived)

w

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:58, archived)

o

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:02, archived)

r

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:04, archived)

m

( $$ ✅, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:07, archived)

considering you're all bent
one can only presume this worm has turned
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:09, archived)

y

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:09, archived)

mid-morning

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:41, archived)

how you living, tang?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:43, archived)

hanging on by a thread
how are your guts?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:43, archived)

Sorry to hear that
Day four (today) is normally when I start feeling better, so I'm holding on to that.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:47, archived)

gonna climb inside a big machine tomorrow

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:04, archived)

Wow
Well good luck x
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:09, archived)

"Deh Foor in Two Hat's Guts, and the new inhabitants are finally settlin' in"
Diverticulitis goes to the diary room"
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:31, archived)

y rhoea
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 10:50, archived)

woofer morning m8

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Apr 2017, 9:50, archived)

Any of you hipster cunts smoke a electronic cigarette?
I started about 6 weeks ago. Doing he trick.

Any recommendations on the best oils?

Ta in advance.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:39, archived)

started, as in, instead of normal cigs?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:42, archived)

Yes I might be a kiddy fiddler
But I am not a fucking monster!
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:45, archived)

well you never know these days do you

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:53, archived)

This is true.

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 20:06, archived)

Snake.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:53, archived)

What have I ever done to you?

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 20:06, archived)

SNAAAAAAKE!
/Col. Campbell
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 20:10, archived)

Castrol GTX

( $$ ✅, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 21:01, archived)

no. and not hipster. cunt, perhaps.

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 21:13, archived)

I can recommend nectarine with a drop of JUSTSTOPFUCKINGSMOKINGALREADYFORGOODNESSSAKES

( vladimir, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 22:19, archived)

What kind of ecig do you have? The weaker stick ones work best with thicker juices
Whereas the box types (with removeable batteries and the like) are a bit more powerful and work better with the thinner (high VG) juices.

This place is a good site for juices, there's a ton of choice and for the most part it's decent stuff, and the search refinement lets you narrow down particular flavour types, strengths, etc.

This site is alright too, they have a different juice on offer each week so you can give it a shot without spending too much or buy a lot if you like a flavour.

*awaits inevitable flaming*
( H.B.Mupps, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 22:40, archived)

Nerd alert
I just grabbed an Atari 130XE out of the bin hut in my apartment block. Still plastic wrapped, in its box, with the original price tag and cables and shit. Polish ebay says its worth about 100 quid.

What have you skanked for free like some unscrupulous bin-diving capitalist pigdog?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 17:46, archived)

the hearts and minds of a nation

( $$ ✅, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 17:52, archived)

Are you Theresa May?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 18:28, archived)

About 3000 copies of Windows XP. Which made a pretty penny.
Multiple laptops. An old Toshiba Satellite that still works to this day running Windows 3.11
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 17:58, archived)

I pick up any money I find, money is money in my book which is probably a bit miserly
/ac
( mongychops, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 18:56, archived)

THE MONEY BOOK

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:14, archived)

Khaching

( mongychops, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:20, archived)

Took a whole copper cylinder from outside a house being renovated.
Probably upset that plumber a bit. Scrap wasn't even that much.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:05, archived)

A brass microscope, a 1/3 size replica human skull and various other stuff when I worked as a school lab tech.
A denim jacket when I worked at Cardiff Airport.
I don't know if any of that counts though, the school stuff I took before it actually got skipped and the jacket had been left in the locker I was assigned.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:13, archived)

shit yeah that's a bloody good find,
you gonna start writing demos?
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:13, archived)

whenever i see a discarded CRT
i go through it and pull out all the ferrites
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:14, archived)

Be careful of the teeth

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:19, archived)

i said CRT not shark

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:21, archived)

Poor spacefish

( mongychops, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:19, archived)

oi he benefits from the common mode noise suppression just as much as i do

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:32, archived)

I can't believe he calls you that, he's a good fella

( mongychops, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:41, archived)

A complete, new set of Teflon pans;
a black leather satchel bag in perfect condition that became my laptop bag for the next five years; and an exercise bike that just needed a new battery for it to work fine. I did get a boatload of Tupperware boxes for free from my ex's uncle, who works in the transport business and said the client 'forgot about them', but he's a bit of a Del Boy so I'm not sure that counts.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:43, archived)

why does an exercise bike need a battery

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:49, archived)

For the display, innit.
So you can see how far you've gone, how many calories you've burned, what your heart rate is, etc.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:54, archived)

mate just put a dynamo on it

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 19:54, archived)

But how would you know where you've been

( mongychops, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 20:01, archived)

take photos

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 20:07, archived)

I never did, and i will not start now

( mongychops, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 20:13, archived)

morning
shaved into an aesthetically pleasing style for garidead
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 7:31, archived)

No point greeting gari - no doubt he's been kidnapped, already.
Morning, all.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 7:37, archived)

I feel sad for the kidnappers
since no-one will care enough to pay the ransom
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 7:51, archived)

maybe they enjoy cutting bits off people

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:56, archived)

I find more fun sewing them back together again

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:59, archived)

although it's a murder finding those little white stickers that you used to put around hole-punched paper
since Woolworths closed. They're great for stopping the flesh from tearing when you tighten the threads.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:59, archived)

Use sail eyelets, much sturdier.

(immadme, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 10:45, archived)

I live 400km from the coast, in the middle of Europe's largest plain
they're not exactly easy to get here
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 10:47, archived)

Hi

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Apr 2017, 7:46, archived)

wotcha

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 7:51, archived)

Good weekend?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:29, archived)

not bad
filmed another lego project, saw some family, lost some weight. You got that bike running yet?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:31, archived)

Not quite .
Did an oil change on Sat, cleaned and reset the carb and took it out. Ran like a dream. Went out again on Sunday and it ran fine for an hour and then just started missing and stalling and wouldn't idle, even pinking a little. Pulled the plug and it's black and sooty, so it's running way too rich and probably a bit hot.

I think it's partly my fault, I keep forgetting you can't just cruise to a stop with the throttle closed as it won't get enough air. Probably need to pull the exhaust and get all the carbon deposits as well, I know it's not such a big deal with modern petrol, but it won't hurt.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:01, archived)

Oil change? I thought it was a two-stroke.

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:03, archived)

Wet clutch. Gear oil

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:07, archived)

gay sex

( $$ ✅, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:10, archived)

Leather and a big helmet

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:13, archived)

phwoar

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:12, archived)

Turtle Power!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:46, archived)

i.imgur.com/rFnqQFd.jpg
( $$ ✅, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:30, archived)

you wouldn't harm a fly

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:40, archived)

wooooooooo

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:49, archived)

w p
( $$ ✅, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:50, archived)

don't put words into my mouth, m8
words poo
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:52, archived)

don't mess yourself

( $$ ✅, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:03, archived)

I'll try :(

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:04, archived)

Sorry you didn't survive the weekend, Mr Hats.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:52, archived)

it's the tablets, Ems
they make me go sideways
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:53, archived)

^ ain't drinking no fucking Merlot

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:56, archived)

uh huh

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:18, archived)

Alright Spanishfly

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:34, archived)

ghostly woo or flaming bender woo?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:53, archived)

More like a dizzy, spinny woo

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:54, archived)

Tommy Roe or Vic Reeves?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:55, archived)

yer

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:55, archived)

Mike Melvoin and the Deadbeats

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:01, archived)

no way am I doing five days this week
I've got too used to a four day week now
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:49, archived)

you get back to work before I beat you

( $$ ✅, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:50, archived)

well ok, but I'm not coming in on Wednesday

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:57, archived)

Take next Monday off.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:51, archived)

that's not this week

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:58, archived)

I'e got next mon and weds off
but not tuesday
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:53, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8067742
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 8:59, archived)

You'll have to wait until Harry gets married
we'll have another couple of short weeks
( $$ ✅, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:09, archived)

Corbyn says we'll get a bank holiday every week if he gets elected

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:35, archived)

I'm aff today. Get it wrapped right round you.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:19, archived)

Yarss, back in the office to get chewed out for not doing three people's jobs properly.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:18, archived)

don't be passive aggressive m8
if they try and bollock you, say clearly that they'll get three people's work when they pay three people's salary, and until then they should accept that some work will be delayed.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:20, archived)

They seem to have more or less got their heads around that concept, but it's not stopping them bitching and moaning.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:29, archived)

Just be really shit at everything they ask you to do.
Eventually they will stop asking you to do it.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:35, archived)

They will also stop paying me.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:40, archived)

i.imgur.com/k4BE1xv.jpg
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:46, archived)

lol

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:50, archived)

tell them to shut the fuck up unless they want to do the work of four people

( $$ ✅, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:37, archived)

The thing is that they can't do my job and I can't do theirs.
Of course, they got me to do their jobs anyway when they fucked off on holiday for a fortnight.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:47, archived)

Go to HR and tell them that your boss asked to touch your willy
you're welcome
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:40, archived)

^this

( $$ ✅, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:44, archived)

Just start crying and say that you've been trying your hardest but it's just that you're going through some personal stuff right now

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:42, archived)

^not this

( $$ ✅, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:45, archived)

Don't get me wrong, it's very much a last resort

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:48, archived)

Ask which one of them is the hardest, and punch the first one who speaks
then ask who's the second hardest
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:43, archived)

classic Douglas Hurd technique

( $$ ✅, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:44, archived)

that man was fucking nails

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:48, archived)

tell them you've been confused about your gender identity and are thinking of undergoing reassignment

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:44, archived)

"I've tucked it in today, but tomorrow is going to be a different kettle of fish."

( $$ ✅, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:48, archived)

Ask them if this is a race thing

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:48, archived)

They'd just say "Yeah, the RAT RACE" and give each other high-fives.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:53, archived)

the
RACE FANS
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 10:59, archived)

insist that all the work has been done and that if they can't see that it's their problem not yours

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:50, archived)

just light up a cigarette at your desk and stare them out without saying a word

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:51, archived)

get your willy out and see where that goes

( $$ ✅, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:52, archived)

Second willy reference so far in this thread; good job we're deciding by consensus.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:56, archived)

Take a shit in the wastepaper bin without breaking eye contact

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:54, archived)

add noises if you wish
that ramps up the intensity
( $$ ✅, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:55, archived)

In business, it's known as 'power-grunting'

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:57, archived)

How to succeed in business, for howler monkeys

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:58, archived)

Aga do do do push pineapple up your bum

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:58, archived)

jesus

( $$ ✅, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 9:59, archived)

aight

( mongychops, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 10:00, archived)

what time do you call this?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 10:17, archived)

mid morning i suppose, although i don't tend to classify it

( mongychops, Mon 24 Apr 2017, 10:23, archived)

Morning

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 7:15, archived)

Praise Jesus.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 8:06, archived)

morning monster munch

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 8:20, archived)

St George's parade, today.
I get to abandon my kids in a Catholic church. :/
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 11:32, archived)

And what do they get?
It's ok, we all know what they get.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 13:03, archived)

it's just started snowing
this is taking the piss
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 23 Apr 2017, 10:57, archived)

I've just made a blow dart gun thing.
It's surprisingly accurate and powerful. Have you made anything today?
(immadme, Sat 22 Apr 2017, 18:43, archived)

A mess mostly

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 22 Apr 2017, 19:42, archived)

Pigs
in space.
( the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Sat 22 Apr 2017, 20:41, archived)

some software I use a lot has forced a new version with a complete redesign
so I've made lots of petulant ineffectual fists which I've waved at my monitor while sobbing copiously.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 22 Apr 2017, 21:50, archived)

Vi doesn't have this problem #justsaying

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 22 Apr 2017, 23:23, archived)

I regularly make a bald man cry.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 22 Apr 2017, 22:56, archived)

yes

( vladimir, Sat 22 Apr 2017, 23:11, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 22 Apr 2017, 7:01, archived)

I guess so.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 22 Apr 2017, 7:52, archived)

this is not up for debate

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 22 Apr 2017, 8:01, archived)

yawning
have a splendid Earth Day!
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 22 Apr 2017, 8:37, archived)

What exactly is a buffalo stance?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 22 Apr 2017, 9:24, archived)

It's how you stand so you can clean your feet in the washbison.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 22 Apr 2017, 9:47, archived)

Get out

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 22 Apr 2017, 9:51, archived)

Lol gud 1 m8

( H.B.Mupps, Sat 22 Apr 2017, 13:19, archived)

Vg

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 22 Apr 2017, 14:09, archived)

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
🐃
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 22 Apr 2017, 9:52, archived)

Don>Neneh>Eagle Eye

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 22 Apr 2017, 11:40, archived)

That akward squat when you're shitting into a wheelie bin.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 22 Apr 2017, 13:36, archived)

It sure is buddy

( broadsword w⚓, Sat 22 Apr 2017, 10:40, archived)

don't call me buddy, pal

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 22 Apr 2017, 11:38, archived)

p you can call me
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 22 Apr 2017, 12:21, archived)

No it isn't

( H.B.Mupps, Sat 22 Apr 2017, 12:08, archived)

Yeah. I think I might have watched that Kirsten Dust video a few more times too many.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 22 Apr 2017, 13:37, archived)

?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 22 Apr 2017, 14:02, archived)

Nope, Sailor Moon costume with some upskirt flashes, so NSFW:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0X3CLJVMJU
For those that don't wan't to click its grown up Kirsten Dunst with blue hair in Tokyo in a Sailor Moon costume singing the Vapours 'Turning Japanese' and surprisingly good.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 22 Apr 2017, 14:04, archived)

Needs more tentacles

( H.B.Mupps, Sat 22 Apr 2017, 14:24, archived)

There is probably a video of that out there, but I ain't looking for it.
Everyone knows that Dunst loves UToL
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 22 Apr 2017, 14:26, archived)

I really regret clicking that

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 22 Apr 2017, 14:27, archived)

Aye, she's a good looking lass and I love a lot of things about Japan
But I've never been one for that kawaii nonsense. Also it sounds like Avril Lavigne
( H.B.Mupps, Sat 22 Apr 2017, 14:31, archived)

I quite like Avril Lavigne.
There. I said it.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 22 Apr 2017, 21:25, archived)

There is a black metal cover out there somewhere Grrry.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 22 Apr 2017, 21:24, archived)

meh

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 22 Apr 2017, 14:45, archived)