I've just been talking to a man about an upcoming boxing match conspiracy.
Apparently the Floyd vs Mayweather fight is a false flag catalyst for a race war, and I've even been shown an advert for actors in Las Vegas to be part of a crowd on the same weekend. Apparently this is proof.

Who is the craziest person you know? If you're McBeef, we know it's your ex, so maybe go with second craziest.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:44, archived)

since the mocking-is-aggression bloke left my firm, I don't associate with many mentals these days
except you lot!!!11!1!1!
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:49, archived)

I don't actually know them
but theres some utter fucking nutjob who is openly having a breakdown on Twitter and has been sending me dms to help sort their life out. I tried to be sympathetic but their dms were fucking constant. Fuck all that, I've got my own shit going on. Apparently because I have a husband I have no idea of what problems real life throws at you. Fucking nutter.
Hello.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:50, archived)

Yikes
He sounds slightly dangerous. Also, hello.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:54, archived)

no need to drag our private discussions onto here, BS :(((((

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:55, archived)

Alright you revolting pervert
/ac
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:55, archived)

surely by having a husband like yours, it just adds a whole NEW bunch of problems?

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:58, archived)

Touché

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:03, archived)

timehop reminded me of that photo of him punching me today

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:05, archived)

I'd like to see a photo of you getting punched.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:22, archived)

you're one of the few people that could see it on facebook, but ok
i.imgur.com/nrpZT0b.png
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:27, archived)

^no-sell

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:27, archived)

I'm not going searching through your old Facebook photos like some sort of pervert.
You're selling that punch like a Bollywood b movie.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:28, archived)

haha

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:29, archived)

+again

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:33, archived)

The best you can do to help them is screenshot all the mad stuff and post it here for us to read.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:00, archived)

Block.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:49, archived)

i'm mad me, i just don't give a hoot

( mongychops, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:52, archived)

^chicken oriental

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:54, archived)

frinkiac.com/video/S01E12/L7puNoRznljGv2Q5uIf3ZVqIBEE=.gif
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:00, archived)

Madlad! ^^^

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:00, archived)

^radio rental

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:02, archived)

how many novelty ties do you own?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:12, archived)

none, i'm cray

( mongychops, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:33, archived)

dunno. a know a few people who believe in jesus and/or ghosts

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:57, archived)

or JESUS GHOSTS

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:59, archived)

the ghosts of christmas jesus

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:00, archived)

I know some people who super believe in ghosts.
Tell stories about seeing the hanged nun at Godstow and all sorts of bollocks.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:02, archived)

Me too
Their argument to me is always "you can't prove they DON'T exist".
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:03, archived)

easy
show me the ghost of a horse
( $$ ✅, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:08, archived)

Pervert

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:10, archived)

you never see caveman ghosts, do you

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:13, archived)

How many cavemen lived in spooky Victorian houses though?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:22, archived)

good point
I withdraw my remarks
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:23, archived)

I hide in the toilets and cry

( $$ ✅, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:58, archived)

because of the coming race war?

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:01, archived)

frinkiac.com/gif/S07E02/1104352/1106187/VEhJTksgQUJPVVQgSVQu
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:05, archived)

Two Hats

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:59, archived)

mods

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:00, archived)

^ see what I mean?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:04, archived)

*does nothing*

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:04, archived)

I'd pay good money to see Keith Floyd vs Mayweather

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:01, archived)

RIP

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:04, archived)

I dunno, my credulous ex wasn't crazy but she sure believed in some ridiculous bullshit.
She paid to attend a seminar on how to communicate with elementals and gave this complete charlatan €300 to spend a weekend listening to him spout the most outrageous tripe about embracing your inner slut; when she got home and told me about what he'd said, I got properly angry with her thinking about how that money could have been better spent. She also believes in elves and fairies and thinks that some people were put on this Earth in order to be sacrificed, the corollary of which is that the victims of the Holocaust were asking for it.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:05, archived)

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:06, archived)

Well, that ended in a place I wasn't expecting

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:07, archived)

Tell me about it.
She casually mentioned it in bed one night; I was so pissed off at the implications that I almost got dressed and went home.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:10, archived)

Poland?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:12, archived)

Pretty much every lady who has ever encountered my shrivelled winky
think I ejaculate mad cow disease. And shit, obv.
( broadsword w⚓, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:12, archived)

I'm not allowed to donate blood because of mad cow disease

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:14, archived)

^scared of needles

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:15, archived)

that too

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:24, archived)

Likewise.
Mad cow disease, tattoos, having had male sexual partners...I think the only box I don't tick on their 'exclude' list is 'intravenous drug user'.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:18, archived)

Mike Lindup

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:14, archived)

delete this please

( $$ ✅, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:17, archived)

^delete THIS please

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:18, archived)

^delete this *points at crotch*

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:20, archived)

media.tenor.com/images/c7e66a3efb9c5a53e988bca97df8f2d4/tenor.gif
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:22, archived)

tremendous!

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:35, archived)

My mother, but that is years of reading the Daily Mail
That shit has rotted her brain.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:17, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 7:15, archived)

Mornang

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 7:28, archived)

I never forget a face
but in your case I'm prepared to make an exception
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 7:33, archived)

'ning

(dozers You big spazzer!, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 7:30, archived)

I'm on a whisky diet
I've lost 3 days already
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 7:34, archived)

Morning
Left my phone on all night and the battery is just about dead
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 7:53, archived)

Start the day with a smile
and get it over with.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 7:57, archived)

Alright.
Some wanker has put a side car on a transalp. And won't sell them separately. Might go down there to have a look and push it over.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:05, archived)

that was me, m8

( $$ ✅, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:10, archived)

Take the side car off. Get in it. And roll yourself off a pier.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:15, archived)

I'm more of a marina guy

( $$ ✅, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:17, archived)

ri a u a
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:20, archived)

that too

( $$ ✅, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:21, archived)

Chopsticks are the reason the Chinese never invented custard

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:23, archived)

7 ways to love

( $$ ✅, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:10, archived)

If you want to know what God thinks of money
look at all the people he gave it to
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:23, archived)

bestimmt mein oberstmorgenführer

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:11, archived)

google translate is shit

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:12, archived)

Every time a friend success
I die a little
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:23, archived)

What up, he who roams the plains of bison grass?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:11, archived)

I have kleptomania
When it gets too bad, I take something for it
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:24, archived)

Night in a hotel, and an "all you can eat" breakfast, so this counts as being on holiday.
Morning.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:17, archived)

wife kicked you out?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:18, archived)

make sure to spread the cornflakes over the counter and leave toast crumbs everywhere

( $$ ✅, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:22, archived)

Never trust a man with short legs
His brain's too near his bottom
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:24, archived)

That makes no sense.
What if he had a regular length body?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:30, archived)

take it up with Noel Coward m8

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:35, archived)

I I just took a ride in a Grrrmachine and I'm still feeling mean

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:22, archived)

gay

( $$ ✅, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:25, archived)

Don't sweat the petty things
and don't pet the sweaty things
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:25, archived)

Never hurry, never worry,
never fill your hat with curry.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:29, archived)

wiser words were never spoken

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:30, archived)

although if you are going to fill a hat with chilli
it's best to use a beanie
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:31, archived)

and after you've eaten
put on your fed-ora
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:31, archived)

You could have enough chilli to fill a bowl-er.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:33, archived)

30 years since that slag Michael Ryan went a bit spaz
It still freaks my nut out to this day.
(dozers You big spazzer!, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:26, archived)

I do appreciate a man who uses an M1 carbine

( $$ ✅, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:29, archived)

I wonder if illiterate people get the full benefit from alphabet soup

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:30, archived)

you have to be a muslim to do that nowadays, political correctness gone mad

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:34, archived)

member the good old days, when all our terror attacks and murders were by white non muslims, member

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:54, archived)

member when it was catholics planting nailbombs in high streets? good old days

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:30, archived)

PayPal's steam- and hamster-driven servers are on the fritz again.
Tried to wire some money out last night and was told that they needed proof of my identity, again, despite having received it on 15 July. So I sent off a scan of my passport again. Got an e-mail from them this morning saying they needed proof of address. Logged into my account, was able to wire money, everything was fine. k.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 8:59, archived)

The emails weren't actually from PayPal, hth

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:04, archived)

Luckily I sent nothing via e-mail, and I did get the original notification from my online PayPal account space.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:08, archived)

You've just allowed a nigerian to use your passport to get into the EU
I hope you're satisfied
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:06, archived)

Come on, those FIFTY MILLION EUROPEAN POUNDS were just burning a hole in his pocket.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:08, archived)

Regretting taking my cheap tent.
Top pole split as I was putting it up.

Wind caught it and I trod on one of the cleats running after it.

Woke up to spray coming through the zip.

One less thing to cart home I guess.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:24, archived)

Trying is the first step towards failure m8

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:28, archived)

I've stopped it wobbling in the wind by lashing the top poles together with a guy rope.
For some reason I forgot my usual roll of tape and tie wraps for emergency tent repair.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:37, archived)

Waking up to spray coming through the zip is a symptom of eight beers and tight jeans.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:32, archived)

Lightweight

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:38, archived)

morning
cunting tab key doesn't work on this stupid fucking work mac
might kill myself
( broadsword w⚓, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:44, archived)

bit radical m8

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:46, archived)

"work mac" always feels like an oxymoron to me

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 9:47, archived)

I reckon most of the advantages are due to them not integrating with the plethora of 'enterprise' software.
Sharepoint, office Live, symantec, mcafee et al.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 10:20, archived)

morning

(dozers You big spazzer!, Fri 18 Aug 2017, 7:11, archived)

Just remembered my password.
Fuck off.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:39, archived)

Dunno who you are, soz

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:44, archived)

Better than Dozer.
Is that sufficient?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:54, archived)

Not sure you alt-doz are better than the ban-doz to be honest , certainly better than them is objective, but what do I know eh

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:11, archived)

Riddick just starting on film 4, never made a bad film eva

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:05, archived)

Alright jeff

(dozers You big spazzer!, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:51, archived)

Aye.
You? If you are the real
Dozer.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:54, archived)

Yeah it's me you Savile wanker

(dozers You big spazzer!, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:19, archived)

Well done

( broadsword w⚓, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:54, archived)

Thanks. I like online validation.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:54, archived)

Hi

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:59, archived)

I might have a small rum.
What do you think?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:00, archived)

Why small?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:06, archived)

Because I only have pint glasses
And any measure deemed large in such a drinking vessel might be deemed excessive.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:09, archived)

Drink it by the swallow then

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:12, archived)

Finish the bottle, it's the only solution
it'll only go flat if you open it and leave it
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:31, archived)

That's why people buy it in tins now

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:37, archived)

Flebthread

(dozers You big spazzer!, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 17:27, archived)

i read that as flatbread at first
now i know it's flebthread i don't think i now how to contribute

alt - sympathy reply
( sock more tea vicar?, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:15, archived)

Is that anything like phlebotomy?

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:31, archived)

Tools down, sod off dahn the pub.
I've got naff-all to do today and it's raining like a pissing cow, as the French say. How goes it, fellow flebeians?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:19, archived)

Have you got poor old cadders on ignore?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:21, archived)

Not at all, it was an unintentional threadstomp caused by posting at exactly the same time as him.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:26, archived)

It's alright, he was always a complete bellend anyway.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:27, archived)

Thank you sir, may I have another?

(CADmonkey rollllllllled another one, just like the other one, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:34, archived)

nah

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:24, archived)

just got a hole in one, good times

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:26, archived)

IBYD, YDOB

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:28, archived)

now i'm in the rough, ffs

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:29, archived)

That's Portuguese birds for you.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:32, archived)

it's a play off for the 6000 coins..

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:33, archived)

i lost, fuck you golf clash :(

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:35, archived)

and none of you told me about this because....
www.flamefest.co.uk/
( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:03, archived)

Helena Von Kuntz didn't want you there, soz

( $$ ✅, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:27, archived)

she needs to grow up

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:28, archived)

poo shit wee wee

( $$ ✅, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:27, archived)

bum pissy-wissy

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:37, archived)

listen to the boys with the shrivelled little willies

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:40, archived)

bit sticky

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:34, archived)

Yeah, not bad. Just got my 19th Front Page, one more and I can leave here forever

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:35, archived)

I'm clicking every single one of your posts m8

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:39, archived)

Called home for an emergency
Now working from the sofa. Turned out reet nice.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:35, archived)

Did you program your sofa this morning to call you this afternoon?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:40, archived)

I got a distress signal from it
Came through on the sofa emergency hotline
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:50, archived)

"I'm king low!"

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:47, archived)

Still very warm here
Just cleaned the kitchen, which was a bad idea. Now everything else looks dirty.
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:48, archived)

The solution is to cook something messy involving as many pans as possible, so your kitchen will match the rest again.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:52, archived)

shit on the floor

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:54, archived)

+ get schwifty

( H.B.Mupps, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 17:20, archived)

can't decide if I want to go to a six hour+ gig on sunday

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:38, archived)

oh
what a terrible dilemma
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:41, archived)

six hours outside m8
and one of the bands is Opeth. I'll be surrounded by blade-studiers.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:46, archived)

don't go then

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:49, archived)

but I like those bands
and I won't get the chance to see them again for ages
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 17:06, archived)

It's not even proper music, just noise, there

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 17:27, archived)

soz, I like the music
at least 4 of the 5 bands playing, might just come later and see the main acts.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 17:58, archived)

Would there be a Nazi contingent there?

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 18:04, archived)

Almost certainly.
Loads of proper unpleasant racists in metal.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Aug 2017, 18:21, archived)

Oh I know, I just wondered if it would be very blatant in poland, they talk about them in usa, but there's millions in former ussr places

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 18:40, archived)

Recruiter woes.
One phoned me yesterday for a job in embra. Sounded decent but in python rather than java, I wanted to learn that anyway.

He tried to organise a phone interview but I said I was on holiday, when he asked I told him it was in Edinburgh, he was eager to put me in for an interview. Told him I was camping so I'd be a scruff, said it was fine. Said he'd email the details, heard fuck all. Said alright, prepared not to get smashed today.

Hear fuck all, finally get through to him - yeah they're not that interested but I hoped to talk them round.

I'm not surprised, I was basically asking their top line to code in a language I don't know, I'd not employ me. Would've been nice to tell me rather than leave me wondering if I've got an interview on undisclosed Edinburgh tomorrow though.

I'm going to rejoin my plan to get smashed, the one I had before he phoned yesterday.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:43, archived)

hate using recruitment agencies
I try and go direct where possible
( $$ ✅, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:47, archived)

I just wanged my CV up on monster and let them do the work.
I should probably look for myself.

One recruiter has been really good and supportive, but they've got loads of really corporate jobs for banks, sounds a bit too serious.

I've spent the last 8 years in a big firm and want to work for a smaller more human outfit. Considering contracting.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:48, archived)

you will get loads of time wasters calling you up now

( $$ ✅, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:50, archived)

Yeah regretting not redacting my phone number.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:52, archived)

Recruiters would sell your kidneys if the going rate was good
None of em are trustworthy
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:53, archived)

Oh I don't trust them.
But if one might get me an interview, I still think it prudent to not get cunted the day before until I have it confirmed it's not happening.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:56, archived)

Alright Kebab of the End Times
I'm off to watch that Annabelle film.
( H.B.Mupps, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 17:19, archived)

wow, it's all kicking off in Spain right now

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 17:22, archived)

Can't blame ETA for this one

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 18:05, archived)

Thank fuck for brexit

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 19:28, archived)

I hate and fear Track & Field events
Am I racist?
(CADmonkey rollllllllled another one, just like the other one, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:19, archived)

Yes

(dozers You big spazzer!, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:21, archived)

Yup

( broadsword w⚓, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:30, archived)

That's enough looking back at the good old days.
How are we going to bring b3ta talk up to date and keep it relevant in this future we now live in?
Maybe a Snapchat share page?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:30, archived)

You have to post the Instagram pic of your most recent unicorn latte to create an account.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:32, archived)

hatred, bigotry and violence on many sides

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:34, archived)

...on many sides

(dozers You big spazzer!, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:39, archived)

LIKE A DODECOHATERON

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:26, archived)

^dodecahomoron

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:35, archived)

homo AND moron. well played

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:17, archived)

A complete unknownateron

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:21, archived)

I've said nothing of substance but I'm going to pretend it's well profound by dejectedly repeating the last few words ... the last few words

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:44, archived)

wanking

( $$ ✅, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:36, archived)

Sex robots for everyone
Failing that, less good sex robots
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:37, archived)

I imagine dog ears and a floppy tongue on every user name

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:38, archived)

ibyd, ydob

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:26, archived)

There's this really cool web forum called Voat, yeah?
See you there!
(dozers You big spazzer!, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:38, archived)

cool!

( $$ ✅, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:43, archived)

Not going
Don't want to ruin the hollow echo it currently makes
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:44, archived)

email alerts every time someone replies to one of your comments or comments on a thread you have replied to

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:56, archived)

greater gender and ethnic diversity
perhaps make a black or a girl top mod so that losers with too much time on their hands from all backgrounds have something to aspire to
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:58, archived)

dish of the day

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:59, archived)

B3ta gold.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:59, archived)

a range of emojis to replace the I like this! button

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:59, archived)

league tables and a regulatory body, possibly called Ofb3t

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:01, archived)

strict limits on the amount of replies you can post to a thread within a certain time frame

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:01, archived)

Which can be increased for a nominal fee?

( H.B.Mupps, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:39, archived)

a discord channel so that we can live chat on what people have just posted

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:02, archived)

a celebrity version of the site

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:02, archived)

/links

( $$ ✅, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:05, archived)

I get as much good sex as I want and I drive a fast car

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:10, archived)

Is there a way to make it fewer shit maybe?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:11, archived)

arrows

( $$ ✅, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:12, archived)

say no more, fam

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:20, archived)

Collectable icons , that you can battle with in b3ta gyms

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:12, archived)

^super effective

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:14, archived)

Cake?

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:18, archived)

I've suggested cash prizes in the past
and yet the mods do nothing
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:20, archived)

Bloody mods

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:40, archived)

i'd have to win the first one just so there was some cash to give out

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:36, archived)

not posting stupid shit threads that just generate loads of replies with no actual conversation

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:25, archived)

^Upset

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:27, archived)

too bloody right I am

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:27, archived)

would you like to talk about this suggestion?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:27, archived)

only if you completely agree with me and don't challenge my worldview

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:34, archived)

It's not up to me what happens in the replies

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:29, archived)

take some responsibility for your actions

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:36, archived)

naked breasts on page 3

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:26, archived)

My set has been described as extremely rude, downright disgusting, in incredible bad taste but funny.
That's just fine by me. I mean, I can't knock it, it is pretty strong.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:27, archived)

Who said this?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:30, archived)

jelly.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post543641#answers-post-2629346
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:37, archived)

is this worth me logging out for?

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:48, archived)

Almost certainly not
Man brags (or lies) about his AMAAAYZING life, filled with sports cars, celebrities and beautiful women.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:50, archived)

he was a prick, desperate to be liked on here, which was conflicting with how wonderful his life was

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:55, archived)

i'm not 100% on this but i think he was the one that was supposed to be so tough irl that you'd better not say anything nasty or he might beat you up

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:31, archived)

woah
so he's cool AND dangerous. And pretty old, by all accounts.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:32, archived)

probably dead now

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:40, archived)

lol
b3ta.com/talk/1877332
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:51, archived)

So macho

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:05, archived)

Are you a sentient badger?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:32, archived)

i'm sure him and donkey gums will win edinburgh this year

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:34, archived)

the greatest stand up of our generation

( $$ ✅, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:45, archived)

poor pistonbroke

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:31, archived)

more upset

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:28, archived)

we should all gang up on one person till they cry, that used to be fun

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:29, archived)

this would be perfect if there was anyone left to do that to
the only ones left with any real potential to get upset are fucksocks, who everyone has on ignore, or yeti kebab, who is too quick to put others on ignore
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:48, archived)

nah, i think there is one, i'll gaz everyone except them of course

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:54, archived)

Yeah I'm not missing out on much by him having me on 2.0
Who else is she ignoring?
(dozers You big spazzer!, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:03, archived)

safe spaces

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:28, archived)

A weekly rundown of the top posts and threads
Presented by a prominent Youtuber
( H.B.Mupps, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:41, archived)

Coming up in this vid we've got the TOP. FIVE. POSTS. made on beeta dot com slash talk this week
and I guarantee that you will be SHIT TING YOUR SELF by the end of this video. However, before we get down to it I want to thank all you lovely new subscribers who've been posting their comments on my other vids so CLICK HERE to check those vids out, and don't forget to SMASH THE SHIT out of the LIKE button on this vid. As always I read everything you write to me so leave your comments below and don't forget to subscribe. And now...

[insert pointless 45 second intro sequence with explosions and a THX-style BWAUM noise ]
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:44, archived)

youtube has basically become the sunday chart review on local radio

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:46, archived)

the current top 5 are mostly posts making fun of 2 can 'my wife is an elephant' chunder

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:32, archived)

bring back [popular poster]
(s)he'll soon liven things up a bit
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:50, archived)

I follow some former b3tans on twitter
and I can confirm that ^this will not 'liven things up'
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:52, archived)

but the good old days, TH ... what about the good old days?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:55, archived)

did you not read this morning's thread?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:57, archived)

surely no one is reading any of this shite

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:58, archived)

cor!
muff!
( $$ ✅, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:52, archived)

Go back in time, kidnap Shambles before he turned into a troll and bring him to the present day.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:55, archived)

he was far too nice years ago, well in with all the fat chicks

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:57, archived)

I bet he stole Badger's wife and all.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:02, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8096608
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:04, archived)

Eh, I thought he was pretty funny at one stage.
Then he became a bellend, obviously.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:13, archived)

he had his moments
then again, so did baldmonkey
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:17, archived)

poo shit wee wee

( $$ ✅, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:15, archived)

Dancing hamster gifs

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:16, archived)

Lolotronolololocopter!!
OX1 checking in
Weather: clearing
Interest in work: 5%
Time until hometime: 5 hours 38 minutes
Laziness: 100%
Eating: toast
Greediness: 40%
Same shit different dayness: 100%

Report in please.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:22, archived)

Workload: 160%
Horniness: unicorn
Chances of family name dying out in the next generation: 100%
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:24, archived)

Who cares
We're all forgotten in three generations anyway
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:25, archived)

it's the news that my brother is also having a daughter
so that'll be the end of my Dad's dynasty. I think it might trigger a breakdown of some sort.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:27, archived)

Well I hope he takes it well
because really, it doesn't matter
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:29, archived)

shut up chester bennington, you're supposed to be dead

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:30, archived)

I don't understand this joke
unless you actually think that's my name, and believe me to be dead
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:31, archived)

Linkin Park innit
youtu.be/eVTXPUF4Oz4?t=54s
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:33, archived)

Oh right
That was terrible
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:35, archived)

damn right

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:38, archived)

I just asked Tangled if he had a nice holiday
Apart from that, I ain't reporting shit
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:25, archived)

did he?

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:31, archived)

Windy posted this thread before Tangled had a chance to respond
So naturally, I've reported this to the mods
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:32, archived)

And still the mods do nothing.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:35, archived)

oh i'm doing something

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:42, archived)

gross

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:55, archived)

I might post a skink.
Mods are powerless
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:04, archived)

Shots fired
www.californiaherps.com/lizards/images/esskiltonsisk.jpg
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:15, archived)

Skink out with your tongue out
www.aboutanimals.com/images/Irian-jaya-blue-tongued-skink-820x375.jpg?d8bc0c
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:17, archived)

www.vblcs.com/images/labels/2010/nsw/3.2.png
( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:28, archived)

I wonder if it's any good

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:29, archived)

i liked it, SAB shut them down it seems in 2014

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:31, archived)

NSFW m8
that photo's a bit blue
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:17, archived)

damn rebellious kids

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:18, archived)

And lo, I watched your ninja editing unfold before my very eyes.
Y3T1 checking in
Weather: a pretty unenthusiastic bluish sky
Interest in work: 13%
Time until hometime: 5 hours 35 minutes
Laziness: 85%
Eating: currently nothing, but I had an apple about half an hour ago
Greediness: 40%
Same shit different dayness: sorry, the meter appears to have melted on this one.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:28, archived)

he was a fucking walter mitty prick

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:30, archived)

I can't even remember who started this whole thing.
Only one I found on search was stuj and tfd
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:36, archived)

it was that comedy-at-the-george pillock

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:37, archived)

I wonder if he ever made a career out of comedy.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:40, archived)

nope just ripping people off
www.thelset.com/
( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:49, archived)

What a heinously minging website that is.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:51, archived)

that website is horrible
and this, by the man himself, is a visual atrocity: www.thelset.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/YOUR-RULES-jpeg-729x1024.jpg
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:51, archived)

I bet it says sleep with dirty old men in there somewhere

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:53, archived)

/r/dontdeadopeninside

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:56, archived)

Fucking hell.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:56, archived)

I expect monster munch to get really upset that he can't solve that dingbat

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:11, archived)

up yours, plod

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:36, archived)

jelly.b3ta.com/talk/8107370
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:37, archived)

soz windy posted this thread before I had chance to respond and I was busy gazzing the mods
it was lovely, ta.
I did overeating, over-drinking, oversleeping and did it with a lady
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:43, archived)

As long as you didn't overdo it with a lady.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:48, archived)

difficult to overdo something in 18 seconds, mat8

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:52, archived)

holy shit!
Does your wife know?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:54, archived)

shh

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:01, archived)

Watch this
youtu.be/gwtzboIq50A
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:42, archived)

I had to turn it off NOW because I am offended by adult humour

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:44, archived)

creepy people

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:51, archived)

oh god this is making me sad

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:55, archived)

I had to turn it off almost instantly because his voice made me feel sick

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:55, archived)

the original Bill Hicks

( $$ ✅, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:56, archived)

I haven't watched this,
but I'm still going to say "Awooga, what a rush."
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:57, archived)

You hit the nail on the head, m8

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:02, archived)

You terrible troll

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:55, archived)

Sefton: sunny
Chance of getting off the couch within the next hour: 100%
Likelihood of soup: 100%
Level of fucks given: 0%
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:41, archived)

willy
willy
bum
bum
( $$ ✅, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:52, archived)

GL3 here
Weather: dunno, frosted windows innit
Interest in work: 15%
Time until hometime: 9 hours
Laziness: 51%
Eating: nothing for 2 days, waiting until I don't feel sick any more
Greediness: 0%
Same shit different dayness: 10%, today seems particularly bad
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:10, archived)

morbotron.com/video/S05E02/WBOD41wP3_kVO0CzNs0g7ZQeaQ0=.gif
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:14, archived)

?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:16, archived)

nice, looks mint

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:31, archived)

someone's parked outside my flat in some sort of sports edition Multipla.
Sport. Multipla.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:34, archived)

Like homers car, manolith show us

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:49, archived)

oooh, can doooo
frinkiac.com/video/S02E15/TMXzVHjDqaeABybobr_1nzEJVdg=.gif
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:55, archived)

Thanks unkie herb

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:58, archived)

:)

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:29, archived)

Is you or isn't you a wordy fuck?
Well?
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:39, archived)

This should be a new thread

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:43, archived)

It is fine, you can just write willy on this and be done with it

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:49, archived)

lol
willy-on
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:17, archived)

I got an A grade
this site's better for measuring your vocab level beyond a silly guardian test though.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:45, archived)

I got 6

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:47, archived)

me too!

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:51, archived)

oh wait, i got 6 in the guardian one
i guess my reading comprehension is pretty bad if i couldn't figure this post out
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:02, archived)

10/10 woo!

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:17, archived)

Congratulations
You wordy fuck!
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:22, archived)

Thx bbz
Had a bit of help from my knowledge of French for 'chatoyancy'.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:27, archived)

Ah yes
Knowing how well your house floats is a very French thing to care about.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:28, archived)

9/11

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:22, archived)

jew

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:24, archived)

Word fuel can't melt grammatical beams

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:24, archived)

7

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:24, archived)

McBeef and Ragnarok are better than you
So don't ever forget it.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:26, archived)

ningles

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:28, archived)

just did a bit of sick in my mouth

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:28, archived)

Shut up.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:29, archived)

I deserve that

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:34, archived)

Ningdongdoodles

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:33, archived)

the witch is dead

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:34, archived)

Glomps

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:34, archived)

I've put the internet kettle on, fancy a cuppa?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:35, archived)

Cor do I , I'll get the baconz nommies

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:41, archived)

I would like 3 baconz pls

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:44, archived)

On for teh kitteh

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:04, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/6429293
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:32, archived)

as true today as it was then

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:35, archived)

this whole thread has made me feel disgusted with myself

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:39, archived)

yet still the mongys do nothing

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:14, archived)

WANKER

(dozers You big spazzer!, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:34, archived)

^ upset

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:35, archived)

Well retro m8

( H.B.Mupps, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:49, archived)

I'm reminding everyone of just how awful this place used to be

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:54, archived)

I'm very unwell. Been vomiting for 2 days and getting terrible headaches. I think I've caught my wife's morning sickness :(

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:07, archived)

you have elephantiasis

( $$ ✅, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:10, archived)

This is why I'm the doctor and you are whatever you are.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:31, archived)

love and fluffles

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:13, archived)

thanks grrry

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:31, archived)

Oh noes

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:21, archived)

sad toimes

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:32, archived)

get some nommy amoxisillys

( mongychops, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:38, archived)

great idea mongy, amoxisillys make everything better

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:43, archived)

Good.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:22, archived)

wanker

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:32, archived)

You should probably go and wait for ages to speak to a disinterested overpaid person about that

( broadsword w⚓, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:25, archived)

It's alright, I can just whinge at my patients.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:30, archived)

Now I'm no expert,
but it sounds to me like you've overindulged in taking it up the bum from other gay spazzes.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:41, archived)

You have died of dysentry.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:00, archived)

I can haz morning?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:11, archived)

Pull up a cat, shop a chair LOL

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:15, archived)

you'll never leave! Until you get banned

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:01, archived)

Alright

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:23, archived)

Welcome to our little corner of teh interwebz!

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:29, archived)

Nah its just the way these trousers hang

( broadsword w⚓, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:26, archived)

*huggles*

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:32, archived)

this is low, even for you

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:49, archived)

bear in mind mano, this sort of shit was once commonplace

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:51, archived)

yeah, and these things can stay in the past
what else do you want to bring back? hitler? slavery? dial-up internet?!
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:58, archived)

you were much better when you were RHCPaul
HC u
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:12, archived)

sashay away, m8t

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:17, archived)

media.tenor.com/images/68510afd3f2d06d51062d3fdfabfa2fa/tenor.gif
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:22, archived)

ham toucher

( sock more tea vicar?, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:55, archived)

like you've ever seen a ladygarden

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:10, archived)

or growler as we call it round these parts

( sock more tea vicar?, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:12, archived)

last

( $$ ✅, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:08, archived)

Have a big *hug* and a *biscuit*

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:11, archived)

oh shit

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:13, archived)

yeah

( $$ ✅, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:19, archived)

might as well close the site down, guys
tangles has fucked it
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:24, archived)

soz everyone

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:27, archived)

what are you like, eh?

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:33, archived)

hullo

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:12, archived)

*jiggles moobs*

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:13, archived)

How was your trip, Tangled?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:22, archived)

Holiday, woohoo!
Wife is getting stressed, probably because I rival my children in the "being useless" stakes.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:37, archived)

I dated a girl whose dad made scale model tiles of his suitcases
and a map of the car boot, and spent the evening prior to departure test-fitting it all on the dining table for space optimization.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:40, archived)

Simon Lotion?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:19, archived)

Dibnah

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:48, archived)

take it easy, man

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:11, archived)

I'm cool, I'm cool
No one needs to get hurt
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:22, archived)

morning

(dozers You big spazzer!, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:27, archived)

What's shaking super dudes.
I'm trying to do some studying for my upcoming course, but can't find the motivation. Help me.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Aug 2017, 19:47, archived)

What you doing?

( mongychops, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 19:58, archived)

Doing my testing course. 2394/5
I did the fundamental 2392 when I first qualified, but never done a lot of testing, boss wants me to take over the college periodics so I'm going to do this to sort of refresh on testing and to have the final level 3 I need.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:07, archived)

Wasn't even a separate thing when I passed, think I did the 2391 just after , since then nothing, pissed me off you can do the course and then testing and not even be a spark now

( mongychops, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:17, archived)

In theory I've got everything I need to be nic,
But having the level 3 lets me test 3 phase boards, so it'll be handy in college.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:19, archived)

Yeah, all commercial will be 3 phase

( mongychops, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:22, archived)

Most of the staircases are single, but yeah, getting in to the kitchen stuff and extract and things I'll need it.
The stupid way the courses are structured means I can work on a 3 phase board, and install 3 phase stuff, but I can't sign off a test cert until I get the level 3 testing.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:30, archived)

Do you lot deal with the plant? Or is there none being old

( mongychops, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:32, archived)

There's a lot of new plant in the kitchen that was refurbed last year,
And plenty of pretty modern boiler setups dotted around as old stuff breaks down. It's almost all on maintenance contracts, but certain bits are started to be handed over to us under the new boss.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:40, archived)

Yeah when I worked at the LSE it was like that, there was an in-house team, then us brought in for most hvac , still had 3 mobile blokes to cover the ppm, let alone reactive jobs

( mongychops, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:43, archived)

Yeah, I'm not keen on taking on the PPE, bit dull for me. Although in a few years I could do with just a trundle around some plant rooms doing a few bits.
Although, now I've moved on to a full spark role I guess it won't be my problem. Checking belts and taking temperatures and changing filters isn't my thing.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:48, archived)

Swings and roundabouts, I liked the reactive mobile, no hot water, I'll jump in the van have a look, I couldn't stand testing

( mongychops, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:51, archived)

Yeah, reactive would be alright I reckon.
What I do now is reactive I guess, just only site wide, which suits me, 5 minutes to work and back.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:52, archived)

Multi site reactive used to be great before trackers, lost all power to an entire office, yeah 8 people office and a breakers tripped, well that was me off for the next 3 hours , or home

( mongychops, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 21:04, archived)

I hated the tracker when I was PAT.
My boss rang me up on a weekend once to ask why I was I out at 4am in the van. Told him to go fuck himself as we had personal use on them.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Aug 2017, 21:08, archived)

Supposed to be for cheaper insurance, but some use it like big brother

( mongychops, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 21:15, archived)

Company started to stop bonus of you went over 72mph.
Utter bullshit
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Aug 2017, 21:21, archived)

fuck it off and go on an all night bender
i trust that helps
( sock more tea vicar?, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 19:59, archived)

Have you been promised a pay rise to accompany your new enhanced skillset?
Cos, you know, more responsibility and blame and that.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 19:59, archived)

You want us to pay for your training and expect a rise? You're fired

( mongychops, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:01, archived)

More fool you, you've just lost all the time and training you invested up til now

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:03, archived)

Only did that to get the company an investor of people, bye

( mongychops, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:19, archived)

First office job I had, I tried to get their Investor In People plaque revoked.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:21, archived)

I can't say I'm surprised

( mongychops, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:37, archived)

Didn't work, though.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:43, archived)

Yup,
And backdated to when I took over from the last head spark, as long as I pass.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:07, archived)

Good stuff.
More money can be your motivation, then.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:14, archived)

Oh, so you see me as shallow and motivated by financial gain.
Harsh.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:16, archived)

alt: pragmatic and forward-thinking

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:21, archived)

I'm doing another work exam just for the CV

(dozers You big spazzer!, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:04, archived)

Yeah, but you're a dick head.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:08, archived)

Yer true
But I work in the happy clappy tree hugging poor people enabling mutual sector these days rather than the ultra high net worth sector, so new qualifications eh.
(dozers You big spazzer!, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:31, archived)

Comfy Vagina?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:08, archived)

No, you thicko

(dozers You big spazzer!, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:32, archived)

Took the dogs for a walk along the canal, grabbed a quick pint at the pub.
Supposed to be packing, now, but cba.

Think I'll add packing to the list of things I dislike about travel.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:07, archived)

Just buy stuff you need when you get there, you miserly povvo.
Also, where are you going?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:09, archived)

Somewhere that's off the road, I bet.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:15, archived)

Yeah, if there's one thing that would improve my holiday it's shopping for a week's worth of clothes. For five people.
Going down to Cornwall, not even sure they have shops down there, probably still on the barter system.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:18, archived)

Just nip out in the morning and get everyone an outfit while they have breakfast,
Put yesterdays clothes in the hotel wheelie bin. Easy.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:31, archived)

That would cut down on laundry.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:50, archived)

for a walk along the c
( broadsword w⚓, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:25, archived)

Landlord said that he doesn't care what goes on in the beer garden, so long as we keep the noise down.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:27, archived)

I'm very happy
My sister has to have 7 weeks of daily chemo but after that the surgeon said she'd be fine. As a result I'm getting merrily twatted
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 21:20, archived)

\o/

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 21:27, archived)

oh yay! the highest of fives smashy!

( sock more tea vicar?, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 21:29, archived)

If they did a remake of 'Three Men and a Baby' it'd probably be more like 'Three Transgenders and a Syrian Refugee' or summat!
This world, honestly
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:30, archived)

It'd still be shit, though.
The day before yesterday I spent 30 seconds cringing hard when I saw they'd made yet another 'man wakes up as a woman and woman wakes up as a man' films, because that's SO FUCKING ORIGINAL, yeah, and not at all shit and for cunts in any way.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:33, archived)

Member when they basically remade big with Jennifer Garner?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:34, archived)

no

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:35, archived)

well they did.
I never watched it though.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:37, archived)

cool

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:38, archived)

Nope.
Googling has revealed there's a film out there called "13 Going On 30", which does indeed look like a shameless rip-off.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:37, archived)

I thought that was a rip off of Freaky Friday
or did that one just get remade too?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:38, archived)

I don't know, as I haven't seen either this one or Freaky Friday.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:39, archived)

Wasn't there a Freaky Friday remake with Lindsay Lohan

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:56, archived)

freaky friday did suffer a remake

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:09, archived)

I thought the remake was quite good
It needed bringing up to date
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:17, archived)

Not even Sigourney Weaver could save it

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 18:00, archived)

Which one is that?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:35, archived)

Lol, no-one knows what Slippery Mick is on about.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:44, archived)

He replied to you, ya jabroni.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:01, archived)

There is a female remake of Very Bad Things coming out soon
It can't be as bad as the original, which was pretty bad.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:49, archived)

I thought that was mildly entertaining.
Has anyone here actually seen the female Ghostbusters?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:51, archived)

Saw it in the cinema
It is fine popcorn fare if you wipe the original from your brain. Very disjointed, lots cut out to get the duration down so a directors cut in the future might actually sort out some pacing issues.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:54, archived)

yes
it sucks rancid donkey bollocks. i was stoned watching it and still didn't laugh.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:10, archived)

Me and my kids enjoyed it

( mongychops, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:15, archived)

Yer, it was ok. Some funny bits.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:48, archived)

Sat through the first 30 minutes of it waiting for it to get going
It was just dull. Nothing to do with the female cast, it was just devoid of either action or comedy.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 19:02, archived)

I'm very upset about other people's gender.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:51, archived)

You wish I were female, I understand

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:02, archived)

three Pakistani orphans a gender fluid entity
I think you mean
( $$ ✅, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:53, archived)

oh yeah

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:01, archived)

getting a bit fed up with your hate speech

( mongychops, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:58, archived)

I meant it in a good way!

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:02, archived)

I'm sure that's what hitler said and all.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:04, archived)

two hats is worse than hitler, infact he's worse than the bloke who killed hitler

( mongychops, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:08, archived)

I bet he's even worse than that priest that kept everyone awake by playing Cutty Ranks at 3 in the morning.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:10, archived)

I'm a worse painter than Hitler

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:16, archived)

I saw 'Adam' at the fringe last weekend.
It's about an Egyptian transman who seeks asylum in Glasgow.
The woman next to me kept muttering "for fucks sake" throughout the show.
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:36, archived)

I'm down from tomorrow until Monday, I'm seeing a play with Robert 'EMH' Picardo.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:42, archived)

Voyager was shit.
Luckily he's been in good stuff, like Inner Space.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:33, archived)

Voyager was not shit. DS9 apologist.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 19:21, archived)

DS9 started out rubbish, then got good, then got bogged down in crap mythology and got boring.
Voyager was just rubbish from the start, retreading ideas from TNG with a thoroughly unlikable cast of characters.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:01, archived)

haha
Did she know what the show was going to be about before she went in?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:51, archived)

I got the impression she'd been dragged along by her husband.

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:08, archived)

Hiya

(dozers You big spazzer!, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:24, archived)

The world's going to hell in a handbasket and no mistake

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 19:21, archived)

Wetting my finger and holding it up to the wind has revealed that it is time for a new thread.
Yesterday I had to take the bus replacement service and the driver looked like Snoop Dogg's younger brother. He passed the time on his route by flicking V's and dabbing while laughing whenever he passed another bus driver. What's the most fun you've ever had in a boring job?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:27, archived)

wanking

( $$ ✅, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:28, archived)

I nearly crashed the bus!

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:33, archived)

I did data entry for a dairy once
It was me and a proper Kent chav in a room in an industrial estate for 8 hours, starting at 5am. We'd usually finished our day's work in an hour, and spent the rest of the shift eating free yoghurt and trying to do donuts in the electric milk floats.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:34, archived)

So, is it possible to do a donut in an electric milk float?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:51, archived)

They're slow, but I reckon they're probably quite torquey.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:20, archived)

not those ones
felt like they were going to tip over.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:09, archived)

According to my builder mate transit tippers are surprisingly quick off the line, especially if you've only got a bag of sand over the back axle.
And if there unladen they're very easy to drift round traffic islands.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:19, archived)

had a few where i just got drunk all day , now i know what dabbing looks like but have no idea what it means

( mongychops, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:35, archived)

Does it even mean anything?
Other than "Look at me: I'm claiming affiliation and thus vicarious coolness with a trending gesture among young people by making that same gesture."
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:38, archived)

smoking butane wax cannabis the internet says

( mongychops, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:43, archived)

wheres manolith ** DUE TO HYGIENIC REASONS THIS PRODUCT IS FINAL SALE **
https
www.meowingtons.com/collections/for-cats/products/cat-eared-pouch-sweatshirt
( mongychops, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:18, archived)

haha, wow!

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:24, archived)

On my morning commute, I would sit at the back of the bus and email complaints to the operator about the driver's behaviour.
I got three of them fired before getting a lifetime ban from that route.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:35, archived)

get a hobby

( $$ ✅, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:38, archived)

Collecting bus drivers' scalps was my Pokémon.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:46, archived)

some black comedian quipped "white people invented yelp because they love snitching so much"
You are the embodiment of that phrase.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:39, archived)

The fuck is "yelp"?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:45, archived)

You fucking stupid cunt.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:48, archived)

I know everyone here has a low opinion of me,
but I'm shocked to learn that you also hold the bus operators' disciplinary procedures in such low regard.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:59, archived)

What were they doing that upset you so much?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:10, archived)

Nothing, Windy, I was making it up.
I actually spent my bus commute listening to The Archers podcast, or watching homestar runner videos that I'd compressed into avi files on the tiny screen of my Zen mp3 player.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:12, archived)

This is only marginally less awful than being a grass.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:21, archived)

Exactly.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:25, archived)

I fucking love dabbing.
Might dab now.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:46, archived)

Sherbet dib dab or bag of wizz ?

( mongychops, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:48, archived)

wizz I hope

( $$ ✅, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:48, archived)

Fuck off plod, I'm not saying anything without a lawyer.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:53, archived)

I'll watch

( $$ ✅, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:48, archived)

I just did 3 dabs in a row.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:59, archived)

nice

( $$ ✅, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:03, archived)

People who dab always look like they're doing a sort of covert Hitler salute and don't want anyone to see their face.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:07, archived)

Well duhhh

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:09, archived)

The alt-right really lacks pride in their endeavours.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:14, archived)

Going to the pub on Friday lunch with the owner of the business
The workers getting absolutely wankered on his dime, and then coming back to work about 4ish to have a sleep under the desk.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:13, archived)

That sounds like a decent racket.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:20, archived)

The work was alright
Watching TV for mentions of products. Even being paid to watch This Morning didn't make it any better.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:30, archived)

Worked a marketing contract for a tourist board a few years ago.
Literally nothing doing in the office so I watched the whole of Game of Thrones Season 1 on Ranierland (wiv da angles now). It was fucking shit and made me even more bored.
( Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:15, archived)

you fucking idiot

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:19, archived)

#spoiler

( Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:23, archived)

Tits

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:31, archived)

Boring ask alert
Has anyone used surveyors for work on dilapidated buildings, if so please up there me. if not, please go forth and replace words in these sentences with rude words.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:03, archived)

It's been a while since anyone asked me to up there them.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:07, archived)

Well today is your lucky day

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:28, archived)

strike through everything and replace with willy

( $$ ✅, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:08, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 6:47, archived)

Morning Grry

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 6:50, archived)

alright SM
how are the bruises?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:04, archived)

Still a bit tender
But much better
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:07, archived)

(what's the strry)

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:08, archived)

oh, bindun
sorry mano
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:30, archived)

alright

( mongychops, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 6:54, archived)

word
Haven't logged in to Clash for four days now, just can't be bothered any more
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:04, archived)

Think there's a war on

( mongychops, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:16, archived)

yer, I saw the notification, but we'll see how it goes
Only half the people bother doing wars anyway now, and all the noobs that joined were shit
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:25, archived)

Yer , dunno what this builder shits about, I'm play golf clash anyway, till I get bored , another one that looks impossible with real coin

( mongychops, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:32, archived)

builder base is just live 1-on-1 fights
but it's underdeveloped and you just use the same old tactics over and over again, just like those twats using 30+ balloons. Only trouble is, I don't know what else people are playing these days.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:39, archived)

I ment the main builders left, giants in his guts now

( mongychops, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:42, archived)

Huts ffs

( mongychops, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:44, archived)

oh fuck that shit
it's prolly just to stop that practice of leaving one builder hut over in a corner that you can take out with an archer.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:46, archived)

Yo

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:04, archived)

sup foo'

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:09, archived)

Hello.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:09, archived)

punctual and punctuated

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:14, archived)

It's all downhill from here.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:01, archived)

Hoj poj

( H.B.Mupps, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:14, archived)

I don't know how to pronounce this

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:17, archived)

I say scone

( H.B.Mupps, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:24, archived)

IBYD

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:32, archived)

The j is pronounced like the g in gif

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:28, archived)

It's called Cif now m8
Try to keep up
( H.B.Mupps, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:07, archived)

Good monging

(dozers You big spazzer!, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:26, archived)

I leave the monging to the professionals

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:28, archived)

"Bodie, can I haff an ithe-cweam?"
*slaps 99 onto forehead*
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:40, archived)

*frrrrt*

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:12, archived)

sorry, I don't speak Sphinctese

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:22, archived)

Just testicalarian?

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:33, archived)

Come over here and talk that smack, then we'll see what happens.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:12, archived)

shut that mouth or I will shut it for you

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:22, archived)

mouth or I will shut it for you door!

70s canned laughter
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:25, archived)

bit heteronormative

( $$ ✅, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:29, archived)

what does that even mean

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:32, archived)

My boss has come back from a week's holiday even more stressed than she was before she left.
The atmosphere in the office is lovely this morning.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:57, archived)

I'm expecting that next week
My line manager is a nice bloke but he sets up a billion pointless meetings if his excel tables don't align as expected.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:01, archived)

morning!
what happened to 'ning?
( sock more tea vicar?, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:20, archived)

morning thread from 10 years ago and narry a ning to be seen
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:37, archived)

so 'ning was a transient fad then? who'da thunk

( sock more tea vicar?, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:47, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/3657415
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:57, archived)

ooof! yep, life's better without such nonsense

( sock more tea vicar?, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:06, archived)

Remember, the alt-left are as bad as the alt-right
Yeah, right, ya massive racist volleyball.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:39, archived)

Nazis have feelings too!
Have you hugged a Nazi today?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:49, archived)

I did
Their pointy medals hurt my chest
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:53, archived)

It's true, Anti-fa's roots go back almost as far as the nazi's!

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:56, archived)

No point coming in here with that.
/talk has a right wing echo chamber led by Reichsfuhrer McBeef.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:49, archived)

pretty much /links

( $$ ✅, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:33, archived)

"i'm just trying to have a reasoned debate!"

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:52, archived)

Fascist ablooblooing is the funniest ablooblooing.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:02, archived)

Straight white males are the last minority.
Why are we always being oppressed?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:05, archived)

I don't think you can include yourself in that category m8

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:11, archived)

It's funny watching them being torn between "these statues should be preserved for historical importance" and "losers shouldn't get participation trophies".

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:06, archived)

Today: Confirmed ISIS member says he and his friends all voted for Trump
Tomorrow: Trump - "I say the WTC was TOO big anyway!"
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:09, archived)

lol
www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/i-like-people-who-shout-hail-trump-confirms-trump-20170814133993
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:17, archived)

Fake news!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:22, archived)

absolutely nothing Trump does or says surprises me anymore
If he claimed to be the second coming of Christ, I wouldn't bat an eyelid
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:22, archived)

Nah, Christ is too much of a hippy Jew for the likes of Trump.
Trump'd claim to be the second coming of Julius Caesar or someone like that.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:24, archived)

Ah, of course
Imagine being so anti-semetic, you wouldn't want to be compared to Christ
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:26, archived)

I read a doozy the other day about him being given a heavily curated folder twice a day by Sean Spicer about how great he is.
news.vice.com/story/trump-folder-positive-news-white-house
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:30, archived)

Yeah, I read that too
They have to pepper everything with his own name, just to keep his attention. Poor old Hilary. Imagine being less popular than this clown.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:32, archived)