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# Following McDonalds ban on the selling of 'chips' during the Olympics, I've made these for all UK fast food sellers.
Simply cut out the word 'Fries' or 'Fish 'n' Fries', and stick it over your menu where you have the word 'chips'
Problem solved.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:40, archived)
# Fucking hell

Next up: O2 rationing the amount of oxygen each supporter can take within Olympic Park
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:43, archived)
# but you can buy more oxygen if needed
when cheering on team GB.

to be honest, when they first showed the logo i thought, what shit, but it's grown on me and i was quite looking forward to the olympics.

but all the blatant 'tax haven' stuff and corporate fuckwangling has really taken the shine off the proceedings.

[edit] also, well done G4S for a utter balls up on security, i suspect they will do the good thing and take a reduced rate in what they were being paid.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:50, archived)
# Indeed, it's really going to put a dampener on my enjoyment of the womens beach volleybay
oh wait I'll be the one dampening, nevermind
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:53, archived)
# yes but you can only buy oxygen using visa
cash, cheques and *ptuh* mastercard are not accepted
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:55, archived)
# DAMNIT VERHOEVEN, DESE PEEPAL NEED AIRYAH!
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:58, archived)
# Sir, the velodrome is nearly out of oxygen!
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:02, archived)
# BRACE FOR IMPACT
MAN THE FUCKANNON!!
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:03, archived)
# Fuck Anonymous
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:17, archived)
# where does one start?


:/
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:20, archived)
# You put on a stupid mask and go out and have sex with a stranger.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:23, archived)
# RANDOMRAPE

FUCK THE JAVIERLS...potentially
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:25, archived)
# Whoa whoa whoa, I never said rape.
There are plenty of wierdos out there who would have sex with the crazy guy in the mask.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:28, archived)
# I saw that comment!
My reply still stands:
"It worked for Clay at his swinger's parties."
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:37, archived)
# Haha, sorry, I should have left it
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:02, archived)
# That made me chuckle, you crazy man/woman/cactus
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:16, archived)
# anything that pleases a dutchman, pleases Smee
pleases SmeeAlso I'm drinking Grolsch it's bruued longah for a fulla tayste

youtu.be/wRuo7dZHHnw

i am manmale


(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:22, archived)
# We can just call them crisps, that'll confuse them.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:44, archived)
# and serve them with mayonaise
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:44, archived)
# ahaha! trying to sneak your belgian dna in eh
:)
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:47, archived)
# I like chips with mayonaise. I prefer them soaked in peas and gravy from the chippy though.
If your chips crunch when you eat them you're doing it wrong.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:50, archived)
# whenever I've asked for mayonaise on chips I've just got stared at
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:52, archived)
# Try asking in a chip shop.
Rather than, say, and undertakers', or a Total Fitness gym.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:54, archived)
# Had a great fryup at Moribunds Total Fitness
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:57, archived)
# If you're at a chippy, yeah, you will.
The same happens if you ask for gravy anywhere in the South.

You Shouldn't Have To Microwave It Bitches!
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:54, archived)
# The thing about gravy with chips, Mu,
is that it's COMPLETELY FUCKING WRONG
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:56, archived)
# And just how DANGEROUSLY near Canadia are you to say such a thing?
HMMMMMM

That's right

HMMMMMM
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:58, archived)
# You're talking about poutine I think?
My niece wants to make that for me, I keep putting her off. I fear it.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:02, archived)
# Join US EH?
JOIN US EH?

JOIN US EH?

JOIN US EH?

YOU CANNOT ESCAPE

*points vigourously and opens mouth wide, bacon falls out*
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:04, archived)
# Oh God. I read about that once.
It was a boke-fest from the first word to the last.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:05, archived)
# no no no no no it looks like a bokefest
but it's more addictive than crack
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:47, archived)
# poutine is fucking great
i live on it in the winter here
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:46, archived)
# Real Quebec fresh cheddar curds that squeak when you bite into them.
Real gravy that didn't start from a can.
Real hand cut potatoes.

Anything else is caveat ingestor
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 4:15, archived)
# No. Chippies have pans of it on continuously throughout the day for a reason.
Proper chippies that is. Northern chippies.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:58, archived)
# You seem to have mistaken this for a debate, Mu.
Whereas it's actually a lesson for the criminally ignorant.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:59, archived)
# Now would be a good time to get naked
and roll about on the floor
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:00, archived)
# Aye, you're not wrong.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:02, archived)
# And when I'm not wrong, statistically I'm mostly right!
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:03, archived)
# *rolls*
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:05, archived)
# *baps*
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:05, archived)
# huge vats
one vat curry

one vat gravy

It's what makes a chippy, damn it.

(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:59, archived)
# NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:00, archived)
# JOIN US
JOIN US

WITH OUR QUAD OF VATS

JOIN US

JOIN US

*points and breathes in vigorously*
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:02, archived)
# Yes!
You forgot the peas, but YES!
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:00, archived)
# OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!
THE PEAS

I FORGOT THE PEAS

holy crap :(

yes, an equally large vat of peas

OH OH OH FUCK

and a vat of beans!

how could I forget this!
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:01, archived)
# And scraps, and puddings and pies and sausages and scallops.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:02, archived)
# scraps, variably nomenclatured as
scrag, scran, batter, bits and quite likely a myriad terms hithertoo unknown but to LOCALS!
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:05, archived)
# OH WHAT'S THE FUCKING USE
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:05, archived)
# the more you fight us
the more we fry

and serve with various innapropriate meta condiments
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:06, archived)
# Hold on a minute
scallops? Surely that's some limp-wristed Southern puffery?
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:06, archived)
# Oh no, oh no no no. Not the poncey overprices shellfish.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:09, archived)
# fuck mate
scallops?

What is this? the old kent road?!

This has gone from being about MANS chips

with curry, gravy, beans and MUSHY FUCKING PEAS

along with choice of pie, fish, patty, cake etc

TO SCALLOPS!

I weep man, I weep !

Where did it all go wrong?
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:09, archived)
# Mu can't keep it together mate.
He's all like, look at me I'm rubbing boiling lardy chips and gravy into my manly chest, and then he's like, oh yeah and here's a rainbow dinosaur and some PONCEY FUCKING SCALLOPS
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:13, archived)
# They're battered fucking deep fried potato scallops, don't be giving me this shit mothy.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:14, archived)
# OOH LOOK AT ME I'M MU AND I'M EATING A HUGE FUCKING PLATE OF PONCEY FUCKING SCALLOPS
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:15, archived)
# shit man
all my hopes and dreams for the future!
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:15, archived)
# It's a fucking disgrace, that's what it is.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:17, archived)
# Screw you guys, I'm going home.
Oh wait, I am home :(
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:22, archived)
# with
fritters-lite

:o
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:23, archived)
# ...and microwave chips
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:03, archived)
# :O
it'd be like the 3rd century ukraine!
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:32, archived)
# and pickled eggs
mmmm
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:14, archived)
# I've never eaten a pickled egg
I wonder if they'd agree with my digestive system.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:36, archived)
# are they likely to say no?
only one way to find out :D
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:57, archived)
# And faggot
with mushy peas, chips and gravy
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 4:17, archived)
# I live about as far north as you can get.
And there's no pans on. Vats yes - pans no. Vats which have been simmering for so long I'm sure life is forming at the bottom.

And everything is fried, even the picked eggs. And the chips come covered in cheese.

It's heaven. Which is where you'll end up if you eat there more than once a year.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 7:06, archived)
# My northern blood boils. BOILS!
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:03, archived)
# BOILING NORTHERN BLOOD
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:04, archived)
# He'll just have to dip something in lard
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:06, archived)
# That may very well be the nature of gravy.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:12, archived)
# microwave chips?
THIS IS A HEINOUS CRIME AGAINST CHIPS!
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:56, archived)
# I was once in a chippy in Southampton and had to pay an extra 1.50 for curry sauce because they didn't even have gravy on the menu.
When I asked him to just pour it over the chips rather than set that stupid little tub in the bag he looked at me as if I'd asked for a go on his wife.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:57, archived)
# and Chip Butties
some places don't know what chip butties are

WHAT THE SCREAMING VEGETABLE PLANTATION FUCK!?
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:58, archived)
# I bet if I'd have asked him for a pudding in a barm he'd have just punched me the face.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:00, archived)
# Barm? BARM?
God I hate that word. Took me three months to work out what the fuck a barm cake was.

And don't get me started on Warburtons bread being wrapped in wax paper. The world has moved on and The North should catch up.

And breathe ...
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:07, archived)
# If you keep a Warbourtons loaf for over a day you're commiting bready heresy.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:10, archived)
# Seriously. There are supermarkets here who can't keep warbourtons in stock past 2 in the afternoon.
And the fucking bakery is only down the road.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:17, archived)
# it is impossible for someone to say "BARM" without someone in the vicinity saying "EY UP CHUCK"
I believe they go together in some manner.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:10, archived)
#
CHUCK COCK
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:13, archived)
# EVEN MORE ETHNIC!
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:25, archived)
# The North!
Call a man "Cock" and don't get punched in the face for it!
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:30, archived)
# maybe at Lancaster lattitudes
but north of yorkshire it'd result in a bloodbath
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:37, archived)
# listen
until you've gone into a chippy and asked for a sausage supper and tried to hand over a bunch of pound notes, you've got no fucking cause to complain
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:01, archived)
# HAh!
I've been to take aways in the south

I HAVE EVERY FUCKING RIGHT TO COMPLAIN!!!!!one!!!eleven
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:03, archived)
# Pound notes? Where are you living?
The only place I know with pound notes are the Channel Islands.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:03, archived)
# Fucking Hell
They went in 1984, 28 years ago.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:09, archived)
# Not in the Channel Islands, I was there a couple of months back.
Pound notes. It was cute how they were trying to be different with their monopoly money.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:11, archived)
# also not in scotland
last i knew they were still legal tender, just very rare.

well, i say legal tender. if you believe the nerds on wikipedia they aren't actually legal tender at all, but they're de facto legal tender. yeah.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 0:15, archived)
# the disclaimer is that this happened ten years ago
but ten years back pound notes - bank of scotland, i think; i think both clydesdale and rbos had stopped them - were *always* given in change by the butchers in st andrews. i think they had a massive stock of them or something. it wasn't very easy to buy anything with them in england.

for all i know the butchers has shut down and pound notes have finally died.



edit: i just went and checked. the nerds on wikipedia reassure me that pound notes are still issued in scotland, but it's rbos that issue them, not bos. that told me.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 0:14, archived)
# You still get pound notes in Scotland
The seem to cycle between till and wallet, never going near a bank so they're slowly getting less and less recognisable as notes.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 7:02, archived)
# the ones i always got
passed from the butchers and the pub. i imagine the pub then went and spent them at the butchers, because they never gave them out in change. neither did anyone else.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:16, archived)
# Maybe his wife's name was Currysauce?
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:59, archived)
# Selling her for 1.50 a go over the counter and he gets upset if I ask for a bit of kink?
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:01, archived)
# So long as you're talking about the South of England
In the American South, gravy is everywhere, and it looks like this: www.google.ca/search?q=sausage+gravy+biscuits&tbm=isch
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 4:21, archived)
# Give me patatje oorlog
or give me death.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:53, archived)
# *likes*
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:19, archived)
# I'm more of a patatje speciaal though
even though I rarely eat patat of any sort
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:19, archived)
# Where the hell can someone get Frietssaus outside of that small part of Europe?
Other than that Mayonnaise works for me, fine.

/wave of the future.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 9:57, archived)
# I was wondering about Walkers and Golden Wonders position on this issue :D
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:47, archived)
# Wow.
What a total bunch of arseholes.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:53, archived)
# I foresee saute potatoes being the big seller of London 2012.
THERE! I FUCKING SAID IT! LONDON! 2012! ONE IS THE CAPITAL OF THE COUNTRY IN WHICH I LIVE! THE OTHER IS THE YEAR IN WHICH WE ARE ALL LIVING! WHY THE FUCK SHOULD THE TWO COMBINE TO BE A TRADEMARK? FUCK YOU ALL!
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:54, archived)
# Apologies. Lost it for a moment there.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:00, archived)
# I'm more annoyed at passing through Manchester and seeing fucking London 2012 banners everywhere.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:06, archived)
# Ah yeah. But not half as bad as the massive billboards saying LONDON SUPPORTS THE COMMONWEALTH GAMES!
Fuckers.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:10, archived)
# London 2012 you say
you be saying Olympics next and Summer Games.

you should have a gold medal for your bravery.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:07, archived)
# Apparently no children are allowed to play games between 8.10 and 8.15pm any more just in case it gets confused.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:15, archived)
# What is this obvious insanity
at a festival of physical health all about then?
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:03, archived)
# these rules are irrelevant, just do what you want
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:06, archived)
# aaarghhh :((
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:16, archived)
# YAAARAGAGGAAGLRLBBLR!
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:27, archived)
# ^this
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:37, archived)
# ^that
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:50, archived)
# TOAFP
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:49, archived)
# crazy innit
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:19, archived)
# It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 2:24, archived)
# Ha ha.
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:53, archived)
# Hurrah!
..
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 0:14, archived)
# FUCK OFF MC DONALDS! . . . . . . CHIPS, NOT FRIES, CHIPS!!!!!!!!


(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 8:54, archived)
# You made my first post of the day this...
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:04, archived)
# And now...
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 12:51, archived)