Another dog story
A few weeks ago, I got a puppy. She's cute, adorable, fuzzy, loving, and prone to eating her own feces.

I try to stop this charming habit, but she's a quick little thing and often is munching down on tasty brown goop before I can distract her.
(I still let her lick me on the face though. I suppose I have a fairly high tolerance for disgusting.)

However, that isn't the story I meant to tell. The story is that this poor animal got a coccidia infection and a giardia infection in close succession, probably due to this aforementioned practice. These parasites both produce explosive, smelly diarrhea. Or maybe it was the medication for them that did that.

I swear, I turned my back on her for one second and this normally house-trained animal managed to paint halfway up the wall with an enormous splatter. I don't know how she did it. It was higher than her head. Serious pressure must have been building up in there.

The next hour was spent scraping it off the wall while trying not to gag and liberally applying bleach and dog-related scent removal products. The whole house still stank. All windows open, I took her for a long walk to give it a chance to air. No go, still stank when I went to bed that night.

Next time, I'm getting a fish. (lie, I secretly love it, poop explosions and all)
(TheWonderfulWombat It came to me in a dream., Thu 9 Feb 2012, 4:25, 9 replies)

I should warn you
I had giadiasis for about 3 years. I've even had a paper published about me by my bacteriologist (everyone's got a doctor, not many can say they have a bacteriologist!). Nasty, nasty stuff.
See that lovely lickey tongue - that's her toilet paper and feminine hygiene spray all rolled into 1. And it can probably give you giardia.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 9 Feb 2012, 4:47, closed)

Is that related to your username?

( Ghoti Fingers, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 8:11, closed)

Not at the moment.
But taking flagyl (google it) for 3 mths. non-stop didn't help my tummy.
& no. I got mine from chicken livers @ work no less. Go figure.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 9 Feb 2012, 9:04, closed)

I can understand why kids would want a puppy,
as they have parents on hand to deal with all the unpleasant aspects, rendering it all an enjoyable experience of adorable cuteness, so far as children are concerned.
But why would an adult put themselves through this?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 10:25, closed)

Usually
Dried up ovaries / dodgy balls
(mark schmark, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 10:28, closed)

That's my thinking, but they'll never admit to it.
But they will describe their puppy as "my baby" or draw comparisons between their animals and other people's children.

Freaks.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 11:27, closed)

I read that as
"crocodile infection".
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 10:45, closed)

Keep the fucking thing in a shed and have yourself spayed, you ridiculous spinster.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 10:48, closed)

Brilliant
I will now use this as my default insult for all occasions.
(Eukanuba, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 11:18, closed)