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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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My birthday
This thread is about me, you lucky things.

I've been asked by a number of people what I want for my birthday.

So far I've drawn a blank, what would make a great present for me?

Alt: What are your weekend plans or something
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:55, Reply)
sympathy reply.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 14:59, Reply)
I bet if I asked "what do you want for your birthday"
I'd get more responses, you're all so self absorbed.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:04, Reply)
Thanks for asking!
I want more records.
But my wife will buy me books.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:09, Reply)
I don't even own a record player. Fancy that eh??!?!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:10, Reply)
I don't even own an mp3 player. Fancy that eh??!?!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:11, Reply)
I just listen to the radio on my phone.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:14, Reply)
I think you should ask for a better thread.
Alt: And this is no better. Weekend plans? On a Tuesday?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:07, Reply)
I'm living for the weekend at the moment.
Work is boring and I'm saving money.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:09, Reply)
But we're having fun in this thread, right?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:12, Reply)
OF COURSE!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:17, Reply)
darth vader egg cup

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:11, Reply)
I should aim a little higher I think.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:12, Reply)
2 darth vader egg cups

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:12, Reply)
Not that high, my family aint posh
more like 1 hans solo egg cup.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:13, Reply)
nobody likes han solo

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:19, Reply)
For some people it's the only loving they'll get
Hahahahahahah lolz
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:21, Reply)
This is a wanking joke.
And therefore should be popular paged.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:23, Reply)
NO

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:24, Reply)
I clicked this instead.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:24, Reply)
i clicked this

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:27, Reply)
I clicked the super secret report to mods for being gay button on your profile.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:30, Reply)
i refuse to be discriminated against in such shabby clothes

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:38, Reply)

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Star-Wars-double-egg-cup-perfect-condition-/290712251139?_trksid=p4340.m185&_trkparms=algo%3DDLSL%252BSIC.NPJS%26its%3DI%26itu%3DUCI%252BUA%26otn%3D10%26pmod%3D320863282173%252B320863282173%26po%3D%26ps%3D63%26clkid%3D8434541875663659326
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:13, Reply)
fuck
i googled that and couldn't find one, i was proud that they didn't exist
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:14, Reply)

Chemical castration.

It's my birthday soon too.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:13, Reply)
You should ask for some spirits so you can make your time indoors more fun by making cocktails.
Or by drinking RAW SPIRITS if you are a fucking HARDNUT like me.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:14, Reply)
I'm not generally a fan of spirits,
And I've got plenty of (rapidly diminishing) homebrew left.
I should get another batch going.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:15, Reply)
It depends, what are you interests besides spreadsheets and rape?
It's also my birthday soon.

Alt: Seeing family for mine and my nephew's birthday.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:15, Reply)
Computer games
I do actually want to get some new components for my computer but I don't really want other people to buy them for me, because they'll fuck it up.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:16, Reply)
You need a wish list to direct people to
If you choose exactly what you want, it is harder for people to fuck it up.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:21, Reply)
That's like a wedding list.
Maybe I'll put it on my facebook profile and post on here so you can all get me something as well.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:23, Reply)
YES!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:24, Reply)
I'm hoping for a ram stick from you if you know what I mean*
*DDR3 2gb 1333 at least (and branded)
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:26, Reply)
No sorry, I haven't got the foggiest idea what you mean.
Have you got a wish list, with handy links to where things can be purchased?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:30, Reply)
Not yet.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:30, Reply)
Use Amazon for it?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:34, Reply)
he can't, he's inde-nile
he thought it would be zamb-EASY, but it's more difficult than expected
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:47, Reply)
I don't know about you, but to cheer myself up, I'm going here with my GF in July:
www.gfyork.com/

No going there before me and leaving a giant turd in the four-poster.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:21, Reply)
I really like York.
I wouldn't mind a weekend away there.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:22, Reply)
Soz, I'm not sharing.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:22, Reply)
Ask for a weekend away in York then

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:38, Reply)
I have briefly come back from the dead
To inform you that I worked there as a chef in summer 2001 and that I live in York.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:38, Reply)
Needs MOAR wooooooooooo

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:39, Reply)
Well, tell me what the place is like.
Have I forked out my hard earned on a pile of tosh?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:45, Reply)
Looks fucking cool

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:46, Reply)
That's what I thought.
It's right central too.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:48, Reply)
I stayed in the Hilton for a night as part of my honeymoon
York is one of the best places in the world for having a leisurely stroll and many many pints
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:53, Reply)
I've been there a few times, but not stayed in the city.
I'm going to use the train so won't have to worry about parking or getting bladdered.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:59, Reply)
We used to go at least twice a year and go 1st class from Newcastle
Only an hour to get there. Going to take the kids this summer to the railway museum as they both love trains
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:00, Reply)
I'll be going there for sure.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:04, Reply)
I no longer actively participate on here.
Contactable by gaz, text and XboxLive only.

Soz bbz.

Soz.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:47, Reply)
Perchance you could gaz me then.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:50, Reply)
96 cans of beer and a BBQ

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:36, Reply)
+aint one

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:37, Reply)
Hit me

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:38, Reply)
I'm doing a BBQ next weekend
Expecting to spend about £50 on meat alone, should be good!
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:41, Reply)
Excellent stuff
I want a BBQ but I fear it would drown at the moment
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:42, Reply)
You're buying too much meat there.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:51, Reply)
Not for the amount of people coming, so far 25 confirmed

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:53, Reply)
Are you any good at butchering?
If so get 3 chickens bone cut off their wings legs thighs, bone the breast meat and put them in a jerk sauce overnight. Chop into portions before grilling, you'll get about ~30 pieces for about £15. It's a bit of work the day befor but it's really nice.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:01, Reply)
Good plan
WE used to have massive BBQs at my mate's flat which was above the restaurant he managed. About 60 people on the massive balcony and BBQ cooking until 4am by torchlight. All good fun!
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:02, Reply)
Sadly not, the last time I attempted any serious butchering, I nearly took my finger off.
That fucking rabbit was out for my blood.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:10, Reply)
#insert swipe terrifying pic here#

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:11, Reply)
Exactly
Now, I prefer to slow cook it whole, then debone it afterwards, so much easier, and you get so much more meat.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:12, Reply)
+finger

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:15, Reply)
we always bring our own meat
And do swapsies. Host usually provides salad and onion and emergency baps. I suspect this is because we are tight cunts.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:03, Reply)
I always bring my own meat

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:04, Reply)
I'd far rather pick up the meat myself tbh, I'm going for hot wings, chinese style pork, good sausages, good burgers, possibly some pork belly, etc
Then I'm also going to make some lamb & mint burgers, see how well they come out compared to last time.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:10, Reply)
Sausages are shit on bbqs
Too much effort and too easy to fuck up.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:15, Reply)
That works if you take it in turns
We generally only had a couple of people who would host, the rest either didn't have a garden, didn't have a bbq or couldn't be arsed.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:17, Reply)
I always host, people simply give me cash for the food
Makes no sense to host it anywhere else, as I'm one of the few with my own place which has a garden.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:23, Reply)
Oh man I've just been sent a link to some photos on Facebook
of the FC Kahuna boys' club night in '95. One pic is of me described as 'about to hit the floor for some breaking action'. Everyone looks fucked right up. You can see Pete Wiggs from St Etienne there and my old pal Paul McCaffrey who is now a comedian. Dear God it's dreadful.

I cannot believe it's 17 years ago. Fucking hell.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:57, Reply)
Link us up, fatboy

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:01, Reply)
funnily enough I do look pretty fat

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:03, Reply)
I wouldn't have known it was you from the pic!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:12, Reply)
That was in my heyday of DJing, so-called ‘celebrity’ pals etc. I rather miss them in a way. Seeing those pics I feel rather sad for some reason.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:15, Reply)
Oh my dayz, I was out getting my haircut from my local hair dressers who gave me a hair cut when it was all nice and sunny.
So then I thought "I will put my jacket into my local cleaners" and they charged me £6.50 and I can pick up my item on thursday. I then went into my local waitrose where me me me, i i i, blah blah blah.... ended up walking home in hail storms and getting cuts from them.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:03, Reply)
I got hit on the ear three times in exactly the same spot by hail
it's like it was aiming for me.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:16, Reply)
or you have massive ears?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:21, Reply)
I do have an elephant like feature,
but it's not my ears.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:23, Reply)
Grey tail?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:23, Reply)
I never forget.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:24, Reply)
Forget what?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:33, Reply)
You have a huge, grey arse?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:23, Reply)
Indian men use me to move logs.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:25, Reply)
Is this not Kroney?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:25, Reply)
Tusks?
It's tusks, right?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:24, Reply)
Flat feet?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:24, Reply)
One of your closest evolutionary ancestors is a manatee?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:25, Reply)
Oh, the huge etc....

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:26, Reply)
Is you African?
Or is you Indian?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:25, Reply)
Hannibal led a load of you over the Alps?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:26, Reply)
I love it when a plan comes together

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:26, Reply)
You're scared of mice?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:26, Reply)
You're all wrong,
I was heavily implying I have a large penis.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:29, Reply)
NSFW
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEGVH4IQ2nA
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:29, Reply)
Upon the death of your mother by a hunter,
you were chased by the hunter. You escaped, and in the process left the jungle, visited a big city, and returned to bring the benefits of civilization to your fellow elephants. Just as you returned to your community of elephants, your king died from eating a bad mushroom. Because of your travels and civilization, you were immediately appointed king of the elephant kingdom. You married your cousin, and you then had children and taught them valuable lessons???
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:29, Reply)
I used to love barbar

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:30, Reply)
With your heavily implied large penis, no doubt.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:31, Reply)
There's something about a green suit that does it for me.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:32, Reply)
Hang on!
That was blue a minute ago!
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:34, Reply)
You must be colour blind.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:35, Reply)
You in your lucky green suit.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:38, Reply)
*sings*
Goodbye my Coney Island girrrrrrrrrrl
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:33, Reply)
OMG
You too?
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:30, Reply)
Babar?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:30, Reply)
Babar

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:32, Reply)
ba-barber-anne

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:38, Reply)
I fucking love that record.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:39, Reply)
You have catastrophic taste in music.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:41, Reply)
No I don't.
Not like you with your Sacha Distel and Serge Gainsbourg shit.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:42, Reply)
Vanessa Paradis
reinvented music. All of it. What a woman. Joie le taxi hahahaha classic.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:44, Reply)
I'd reinvent her music if you know what I mean.
She'd have to call 'Joe le Taxi' because she'd be unable to walk.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:48, Reply)
I'M SAYING I WOULD LIKE PHYSICAL CONGRESS WITH HER.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:50, Reply)
I'VE CHANGED MY MIND. YOU CAN HAVE HER.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:51, Reply)
mmmmmm
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Vanessa_Paradis_24-01-2012.jpg
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:50, Reply)
Oh Jesus Christ.
*withers*
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:51, Reply)
Yeah, I won't if you don't mind.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:09, Reply)
I'm sorry, you're committed now. You have to.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:21, Reply)
A new low.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:23, Reply)
Jimmy Hill.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:25, Reply)
my gf is a massive beach boys fan
i got her some of their original records for christmas, framed em and put them up in her place
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:42, Reply)
I love their earlier surfing stuff.
The vocal harmonies have the same effect on me that choral music does on Christian gaylords.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:43, Reply)
i like good vibrations, she likes god only knows
we've reached an impasse
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:44, Reply)
Punch her in the clopper.
Did you know that the 3-odd minutes of Good Vibrations was edited and revised down repeatedly from what was originally about 9 mins of music?

I think this is true, mind you I was told this by my father in about 1982 and it might be bollocks.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:46, Reply)
just looked it up, a lot of work went into it either way
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Vibrations
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:51, Reply)
Indeed:
'The production of the song is reported to have spanned seventeen recording sessions at four different recording studios, and used over 90 hours of magnetic recording tape, with an eventual budget of $50,000'

Worth every cent I reckon.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:53, Reply)
Nick Kent's Brian Wilson interviews are very sad indeed to read.
He was not a good advert for LSD.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:54, Reply)
WOWIE!!!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:51, Reply)
No, his was 'Ziggy Stardust'

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:53, Reply)
I love how with all the stories you know, _this_ is the one you question it's validity on.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:55, Reply)
hahaha, clicking dis

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:58, Reply)
:(

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 17:04, Reply)
<3 u !!!!!

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 18:19, Reply)
Ah, that's how Stunned broke your sofa, then

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:45, Reply)
What, 'sofa surfing'?

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:47, Reply)
Is it your penis that you're implying? Because I reckon thats why elephants have trunks, so they can get blowjobs.
A guraff once tried to go down on me, couldn't get all the way in.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:34, Reply)
They wouldn't need such long trunks if they didn't have such small cocks.
Thought for the day, there.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:35, Reply)
I was implying the size of my penis yes.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:38, Reply)
Say what you like about Gonz, he's fucking SHARP.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:40, Reply)
I don't know how you expect me to compete with that, mine barely scales to a pony.
Would you promise me one thing, just one.... that you'll never go in beyond 10 inches, 12 on your birthday. I'd like some tire on the tracks when I take her out for a ride.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:45, Reply)
I'm going to link her to this post.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:46, Reply)
Tred on the tire, not tire on the tracks.
Oh god, I hate to think what you think of me after that mistake =S
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:47, Reply)
I never did see such a thing, it was bright and sunny and then KAPLOWIE, it was hailing like I've never seen it.

(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:29, Reply)

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