GOOD DAY.
Good day? I'll briefly see my kid tonight which will be nice.

The 'Olympic torch' goes past my office this afternoon. *shrugs*

My office windows don't open more than 3 inches. It's fucking boiling in here despite two fans going full pelt. I feel knackered already.

I think I'm going camping for the night on Saturday. Is camping something you enjoy? Don't bother with the Foxtrot gags please.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 8:26, 174 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I'm too old for camping
You should get airconditioning, it's freezing at my desk.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 8:30, Reply)

I haven't been camping since I stopped going to festivals.
This time around things should be altogether more civilised.

Oh hang on, I'm going with Stunned poster.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 8:40, Reply)

I can't imgine doing it by choice these days
A festival type event would be the only time
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 8:50, Reply)

The last two times I camped the airbed deflated.
Woke up with a completely fucked back. It's hotels or nowt these days.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 8:55, Reply)

I spent a happy two hours watching my mate's know-it-all girlfriend "know" how to pump up an airbed
Then pointed out that she had left the plug out
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:11, Reply)

Slow punctures, both times.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:24, Reply)

i bought one of those self-inflating rollm at things
by bought i mean salvaged after a festival.
REALLY good. unroll it, top it up a bit, boom- instant sleeping area, and SHITLOADS more room in the tent. plus you don't lose shit down the sides. it's kinda like giant bubblewrap with a nylon cover.. i like a firm mattress, and most airbeds intact or not don't stay firm under 98kg of primate.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:11, Reply)

You should shove the torch up your cockend and shit out a gold medal

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 8:31, Reply)

Why are you going camping?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 8:34, Reply)

Can't afford a hotel innit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 8:34, Reply)

it
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 8:36, Reply)

For fun?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 8:40, Reply)

Seems like a good reason.
Where ya going
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 8:44, Reply)

Near Tunbridge Wells.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:06, Reply)

Rock and roll!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:14, Reply)

Are you going on the Spa Valley Railway?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:49, Reply)

It seems apt that you phrased that as a question, rather than a statement.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:00, Reply)

It's almost as if he's not looking forward to shitting in a bucket, scarpo.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:04, Reply)

Camping is fine while the weather is dry and warm
and you have plenty of food and drink.

Camping in the wet and/or cold is for masochists only.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 8:45, Reply)

It's quite cool in the office, but hot everywhere else in the building
Add to that the fact that my boss has removed the A/C unit from the canteen, as it 'keeps getting left on', despite that if it's not, the room heats up very quickly. Going to speak to him about that today, it's too hot to eat in there.

Alt: I'm off camping at the end of August round the New Forest, should be good fun.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 8:47, Reply)

Having your home repossed
And being forced to live in a cardboard box outside kings cross does not count as camping.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 8:49, Reply)

I have Kelloggs Start for breakfast
BEST CEREAL EVER
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 8:49, Reply)

It was fucking horribly warm last night
I am fucked today, and not just due to the Peroni. Usefully, we are having the aircon units for our server room taken off the wall and getting them floor mounted yesterday and today. This means that the server room door (about 10 ft from where I sit) is open and blasting our hot air

Camping is good if its proper camping. No fire = gay camping
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 8:55, Reply)

Lunchtime pint soon?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 8:57, Reply)

you should probably wait until 12 at least

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 8:58, Reply)

Why waste an hour of pub?
YOU FOOL!!!

*shakes fist*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 8:59, Reply)

Oh yeah!
I get the feeling I'll need a few today. Too much beer last night
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 8:58, Reply)

Payday's next Tuesday, so sometime after that?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:01, Reply)

Indeed
I am off until Thursday next week so either Thursday or Friday is good for me
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:03, Reply)

me too, although you'lll have to come to London

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:09, Reply)

Amble then York

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:10, Reply)

What? I will be in York next Tuesday I think

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:17, Reply)

As will I

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:25, Reply)

Interesting...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:34, Reply)

so will I...

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:04, Reply)

My people will be in touch.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:10, Reply)

I'll get my PA's PA to "do lunch" with your butler

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:12, Reply)

static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Film/Pix/pictures/2008/09/17/brokeback2460.jpg
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 8:57, Reply)

....apart from that fire

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 8:59, Reply)

My office windows open fully.
I'm on the 10th floor. It's so fucking tempting sometimes...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 8:58, Reply)

Use the toilet

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 8:59, Reply)

I jumped from the toilet already. I just sprained my ankle.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:00, Reply)

Morning 'Ben Kenobi'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:10, Reply)

Bent kenobi more like.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:11, Reply)

When 900 pints you reach, feel as good you will not

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:12, Reply)

Actually, I've just realised, it's only our rear windows that open fully, the front ones don't.
I guess they don't mind us leaping to our deaths, they just don't want us landing on the tourists.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:01, Reply)

Do please keep us up to date on any other observations you may make
relating to the windows in your workplace.

Thanks!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:18, Reply)

Mine don't open at all :(

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:18, Reply)

nor do mine
clearly in case people fling themselves out.

they only open if we have a proper fire alarm, ie not a drill. then they open diagonally to let out all the smoke, so that the poor lawyers can stay at their desks.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:25, Reply)

ours open
but you have to stand there for an age cranking a tiny handle (fnar fnar) to get em open. presumably this is to give you consideration time, or, if you're well liked enough, for your colleagues to notice you've been sobbing while attempting to open the window for ten minutes and maybe you need to be sat down with a cup of tea somewhere safer..
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:14, Reply)

I love camping.
I had an amazing camping trip a few years ago, sleeping on a beach, eating lobster cooked on a massive fire and watching a meteor shower. I have a feeling my next camping trip will be slightly different.
( wanderlust, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:03, Reply)

I share that feeling.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:07, Reply)

If you're going with Monts and stunned poster then i suspect it'll be more like
no sleep, eating cornbeef hash from the tin, a candl and spoon for a fire and listening to them talk a meteroic shower of shit
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:08, Reply)

talk a meteroic shower of shit

frenetically and sweatily bumming each other?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:18, Reply)

:(

( wanderlust, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:20, Reply)

sorry darling

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:23, Reply)

:)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:21, Reply)

WHEEEN the moon hits the sky like a big pizza pie
That's amoreeeeeee
( Kroney, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:22, Reply)

moon Jizz
pizza cream
amore. bukkake
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:28, Reply)

O.O

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:23, Reply)

D:

( Kroney, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:23, Reply)

8=o *

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:24, Reply)

I've heard them talk shit to each other far too many times.
I've learnt to block it out.
( wanderlust, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:20, Reply)

Morning all.
Just to let you all know, my office air con unit is working and maintaining a steady temp, I just need to hatch a plan of how to get one of the redundant free standing units (currently gathering dust) home.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:04, Reply)

The skipping idea no good then?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:05, Reply)

Lol don't start that one again.
I'm going to use the "I work from home(Occasionally)" line, to see if I can get one
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:07, Reply)

Nah, just disconnect the mains wire inside at the aircon end.
get the maintenance guys in, they only check the plug/fuse, still won't work, so they have to get you a new one, you offer to dispose of the old one for them, take home, re-connect wire, Bob is your parents bro.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:16, Reply)

You can be sure that you child doesn't want to see you, she even said so herself.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:10, Reply)

She actually did, only last night.
Her mother insisted on my reading her a story and she started crying at the mere thought of it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:11, Reply)

".....and then Lemmy snorted the coke from the hooker's twat and..."
"Why are you crying?"
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:13, Reply)

Whaaah, but the coke will get all gunky, whaaaaah!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:16, Reply)

does coke get gunky? is it like self raising flour?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:30, Reply)

Hot nightclub + non-laminated paper wrap = coke-impregnated paper of little use to anyone.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:50, Reply)

Eat it?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:03, Reply)

This is from
"The Very Stoned Caterpillar Has The Munchies"
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:20, Reply)

Put some fucking clothes on, christ.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:18, Reply)

he's wearing a loin cloth what more do you want?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:19, Reply)

Hipster cunt.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:24, Reply)

i have to go to congleton this afternoon for a dress fitting
it is too hot to be squeezed into some skintight dress that might have fitted before the last month of boozing and eating pizza. doom.

we have the opposite problem, sorry. our engineers seem to have ramped the aircon up to full whack. even with the thermostat in my little office on top, it's still like the freezer aisle at waitrose in here.

fuck camping. fuck that nasty shit!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:24, Reply)

I thought that was weeks back?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:30, Reply)

you need more than one
sadly
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:32, Reply)

Ahh, fair enough

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:52, Reply)

Women need to be fitted multiple times
because they can't be trusted to stay the same shape from one week to the next
( Kroney, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:34, Reply)

i was going to say yes to your gaz
now it's not just a no, but a HELL NO.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:39, Reply)

He asked you for a tit gaz didn't he?

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:40, Reply)

I have never asked for a tit gaz from anybody.
Not a good medium for that sort of thing. I used to be a forum admin, so I know that the possibility for admins to view private messages does exist.
( Kroney, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:46, Reply)

Ahaha I know, I was a forum admin on another site too.
People send some very amusing things.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:47, Reply)

pretty sure you shouldn't be looking at people's private messages there

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:49, Reply)

We had to.
Suspected pedophile and we had to give evidence to the police.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:54, Reply)

OMG :OOOOOOOOOOO0000000000000000000OOOOOOOOOOO!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:55, Reply)

I still have the same measurements as I did when I was 22
Except my chest is two inches broader.
( Kroney, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:42, Reply)

STOP CONTRADICTING YOURSELF

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:57, Reply)

i wish we did have a foxtrot gag
then we wouldn't have to put up with him jessoping on about his latest hair do and glitter nail varnish
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:28, Reply)

so what i'm hearing from you is
"i really want to put a ballgag on darth"

sick
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:33, Reply)

nobody mentioned balls, pervo
although, come to think about it...

I bet he bucks like a mule
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:34, Reply)

what a delicious image

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:39, Reply)

HEE
HAW
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:41, Reply)

U R Sam Wainwright AICMFP

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:43, Reply)

Oh yay for you! are things working out in that department then?
I love camping, it's great fun. Haven't done it in years though.

I went dancing today! it was awesome!
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:32, Reply)

The last time I went camping was at (nice) Belvoir Castle for the fireworks thingy a few years ago
A friend of mine was supplying the tent so the missus and I just had to turn up. We'd bought some cheap folding chairs to take with us, which we forgot. I also forgot to bring a coat. It rained a bit (to say the least) Within five minutes I was wetter than [random horny person] in [comical situation that not everyone will get]. Everyone else turned up fully kitted out with all the camping parafer, parphana...er, stuff that'd put Sir Ranulph Fiennes to shame. The best I could manage was to parade around with a plastic Spongebob Squarepants backpack on my head to minimise the damage.

My wife and I never claimed to be the best campers ever but the looks of shame and pity we got on that trip were very definitely looks of shame and pity that we got on that trip. Seriously, who wants to sleep on the fucking ground when comfy beds exist in this world?
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:36, Reply)

Camping is great, regardless of weather.
One set of friends, who surf, nearly all have kitted out vans so if it does rain you have another option rather than just the wettest. And the other friends I camp with are glampers and shit at camping so its funny watching them faff around.
Just make sure you have, a pillow, a fold away chair, a table, and a huge bag of drugs. You'll be grand
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:42, Reply)

Needs MOAR beer

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:51, Reply)

Camping is great if you're not camping with moaning shitcunts like this lot.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:43, Reply)

how come that boy on the news is being told off
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-18979032

when he probably caught a couple of new york crooks and befriended the homeless?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:45, Reply)

hahahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:49, Reply)

Morning benders
I've been away for a couple of days, whjat have I missed?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:45, Reply)

Quentin wants you to suck his balls.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:47, Reply)

well now i'm being misquoted
what i actually said was that i wanted to gag him and ride him like a mule

:(
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:48, Reply)

But admit it, you want him to suck your balls.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:49, Reply)

how can he do that, with a gag in his mouth?
be sensible, poppet.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:51, Reply)

yeah, think it through, poopet

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:54, Reply)

That's the joke though, the balls in his mouth would be the gag.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:59, Reply)

they don't work when you have to explain

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:08, Reply)

You'll have to fight Leo for me Q-Dogg
I'll fill the paddling pool with jelly
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:54, Reply)

who is leo? your latino hairdressing lover?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:56, Reply)

New guy, can't remember his full name
Said I was a fittie. Don't care how sarcastic he was being, that's internet validation right there.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:02, Reply)

Not much

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:50, Reply)

I see Forest still don't have any defenders
*checks watch*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:54, Reply)

Latest rumours
Damien Delaney - Free Transfer (Ipswich)
Danny Collins - 500k (Stoke)
Elokobi - yet to be approached
Kightly - currently negotiating with agent as Kightly is on a tour (both Wolves)
Craig Conway - in negotiations (Cardiff)

Reidy is the new captain.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:59, Reply)

Danny Collins was absolutely terrible for Sunderland for years
then decided to be OK. Then they sold him
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:01, Reply)

Had no idea about Kightly or Conway, so thank you for that mate :-)
Kightly would be a great signing if we didn't already have more midfielders than we know what to do with. Glad Geudioura's been brought in, he was quality last season.

Um, could you please retype that, it looked like you said Andy Reid had been made Captain
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:01, Reply)

They had a weigh off for it
or a pie eating challenge
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:03, Reply)

I'm a big fan of Andy Reid when he plays well
The problem with that is that if a player loses form - say, one game in two - you need to drop him to buck his ideas up, you can't just keep him in the team cos of the band on his arm
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:07, Reply)

I remember his first game for Sunderland
Best pass I've ever seen
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:08, Reply)

Singular?
All game?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:09, Reply)

His first kick, just about
www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBVfGFpdgw0
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:11, Reply)

Yeah that's not bad is it
If the lad had been born with a right foot he could have been a world-beater
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:17, Reply)

I think he ate it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:19, Reply)

i saw something that made me happy this morning, DF
so i'll share it with you, as we all know how much you love pussy.

i was really worried at the tube station. the houses behind the station have walls at the end of their garden. on the station side, it's a sheer ten foot drop with a tiny ledge halfway down. someone's gorgeous "tuxedo" cat had jumped over it and was stuck on the ledge with trains going past him. He seemed happy enough, but I thought he was going to end up on the track and get fried and squashed :(

I was wondering what to do, when he looked upwards and just leapt straight up the vertical wall! It would have been like me jumping onto the roof of my office. Supercat. this made me smile all the way to work, even though the tube stank and was full of shitcunt tourists who haven't noticed that THE OLYMPICS HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED YET.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:50, Reply)

Needs MOAR tits
Cool story tho'
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:53, Reply)

the tits are the people who buy a cat when they live in a house that is sandwiched between the A-FUCKING-4, possibly the busiest road in the country
and a tube station.

some truly massive tits right there.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:57, Reply)

But kittums are fwuffy!!
What about their human rights to have fwuffy kittums?!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:58, Reply)

buy a different house, shitcunts
or otherwise stick to a budgie or a goldfish or something. OR make sure your cat can't jump over the sodding wall at the back of the house.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:59, Reply)

Rats are the way forward
Cute, fwuffy and LIVE IN A CAGE
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:01, Reply)

Morning fella
Any luck with your phone yet?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:55, Reply)

Nah mate
I actually miss it less than I'd expected I would, but am not due an upgrade til September, so either Apple fix it or I'll be forking out for an early upgrade
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:59, Reply)

What occured?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:01, Reply)

Nothing of interest.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:03, Reply)

Move along

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:05, Reply)

It packed up dead on Saturday
No idea why. Took it to the Apple store and they said I had to make an appointment, which is tomorrow.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:05, Reply)

I've managed to drop mine twice in a week
Cracked the fucking screen :o(

But work are getting me a new iPhone 4s soon!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:05, Reply)

I want to work for your company!
Unless Apple can sort this out I'm getting a Samsung Galaxy S3 with my upgrade, not happy with a phone that just stops working after 19 months
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:08, Reply)

Watch the screens on the S3
Two of the lads in here have them and one's broke in half and other other's scratched
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:09, Reply)

Are they clumsy buggers?
Scratch that, won't help. I'm a clumsy bugger.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:10, Reply)

Fun(!)
Tis a shame, I'd sent you a picture before you said it was broken, was of this
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:03, Reply)

You're calling me a bender, aren't you

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:05, Reply)

Nope, simply showing you what I was watching at the time.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:09, Reply)

You were in NY?
And you DIDN'T TAKE ME?!?!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:10, Reply)

No, I was in Leeds, considerably less impressive.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:11, Reply)

I am so confused

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:14, Reply)

Look at the picture, dipshit.
What sort of show has a curtain like that?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:19, Reply)

*puts two and two together*
BRILLIANT show, good choice mate
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:23, Reply)

It was most enjoyable.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:25, Reply)

Camping is great with the right people
Especially if there's the opportunity for sex in a tent.
( Peej, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:51, Reply)

This has risks
One time, at sports camp...

One of the lads and his girl vanished from the party early. So we quietly pushed a car round the opposite side of their tent from the bar and hit main beam. Massive cheers ensued.
To give him his due, he didn't even pause.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:54, Reply)

I've had tent sex plenty of times
Once my best mate took all the pegs out of the ten whilt I was at it and got everyone else to drag me across the field, we didn't stop.

Another time it was the morning after the last night of reading festival when everyone was torching tents, one was unpegged and blew towards me and the future wife, we climbed in and did it anyways. Everyone knew what we were up to but we cared little.

Then there was Sally, ooooooo Sally.
( Peej, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:59, Reply)

Tent sex is awesome.
Especially when it's just the two of you on a beach with no one else around for miles. fucking awesome fun.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:02, Reply)

Yeah but the smell.....

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:03, Reply)

what smell?

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:07, Reply)

The bodies of dead surfers buried in the sand
OBVIOUSLY
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:09, Reply)

t b


I'll bet you have.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:03, Reply)

That too

( Peej, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:06, Reply)

I've done it at a festival before
Got a round of cheers when we finished, which was nice. I don't they appreciated my climbing out of the tent stark bollock naked to bow, though.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:05, Reply)

hahaha!
I had to evict my tent-chum when I pulled at a festival once
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:06, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:11, Reply)

He was NOT AMUSED

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:11, Reply)

I woke up with a country music style song in my head this morning.
After googling it seems not to exist, so this proves that dream me is a country music composer. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 9:52, Reply)

Some of it's v good.
I hope yours is of that kind.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:01, Reply)

Billy Ray Chomp

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:02, Reply)

'9 stone Cowboy' lolz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:03, Reply)

I'm more that 9 Stone.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:04, Reply)

Of course you are
You post on the internet
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:06, Reply)

haha!
We sang this constantly to my mate Bri when he donned a cowboy hat at the Leeds festival
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:04, Reply)

while trying to get to sleep while dingered on bumbles
My brain has produced some incredible tech house.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 25 Jul 2012, 10:42, Reply)