One bloke won the £110m lottery.
A car mechanic from Coulsden.

What a fucking waste.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:09, 4 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

this is how I feel everytme I see one of these winners
and why the hell do they agree to go public? I'd spend good money in the courts preventing publication of my deatils
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:10, Reply)

ANY MONEY YOU SPEND IN COURT IS GOOD MONEY

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:11, Reply)

blood sucking leech on society^

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:12, Reply)

says the marketing monkey!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:12, Reply)

I help people

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:13, Reply)

With £110 million, he could build a 20' wall round Coulsden
and flood the resat of the country
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:12, Reply)

That appears to be part of Purely, whcih is a shit hole
have you thought this through?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:13, Reply)

I have no idea where either of these places is

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:14, Reply)

SAAAAAAAAF LAAAAANDAN

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:14, Reply)

DROWN IT

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:15, Reply)

You can say that in a Surrey.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:34, Reply)

I hate it. It just reminds me what a povvo I am and how much I love and adore cash.
And when people say "It won't change me" they should have it confiscated - fuck - I'd employ people just to fire them, to enjoy the look on their faces. People who claim they won't change should have entered the local tombola or something.

I don't even do the lottery.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:13, Reply)

i buy tickets and never check them
worst of both worlds
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:14, Reply)

It's because you know that the lottery is for pikeys and you are ashamed of yourself

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:16, Reply)

deeply, deeply ashamed

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:16, Reply)

"I wouldn't give up work - I'd get bored!"
Really? Are you that unimaginative that you couldn't entertain yourself with several million quid?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:15, Reply)

This.
I rather like the stories of that chav pissing it all right up against the wall with his mates - that's what I'd do (albeit in a far more stylish manner).

I'd put aside £10m for when it had all run out, and then go absolutely fucking ape-shit BONKERS with all the rest. RIDICULOUS bonkers - I'd spend more than a house on something the size of a watch. I'd have a dancing midget brass band announcing me everywhere I went, I'd have supermodels left, right and centre creaming themselves over my immense wealth. I'd smoke cigars that I'd genuinely lit with £50 notes that I'd lit with £20 notes that I'd lit with £10 notes lit from £5s.

I'd be a fucking wreck in the most entertaining, infuriating way possible.

I'd buy the Daily Mail and make them print stories about lovely gay asylum seekers.

I'd pay David Cameron to shave half his hair off and to grow half a beard on the other side of his face.

Oh man.

I want to win the lottery.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:23, Reply)

I want you to win the lottery

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:29, Reply)

that's proper lottery that is

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:31, Reply)

I would love to claim this as mine
But a friend once said that they would hire a circus and ride through their old town on the back of an elephant with 2 bushel baskets of pound coins throwing them to the poor.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:40, Reply)

just want thr poor need, bleeding dented scalps

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:40, Reply)

Thats what the NHS is for

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:41, Reply)

I thought it was there to scrape Battered out of the frozen veg section at Icelandafter he's shaken himself into a frothy mess

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:44, Reply)

this^
Why the fuck play it then? YOU MASSIVE CUNTS!

Pricks who win £4 million and say "I'll buy my council house and maybe a new caravan"

ARGH!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:15, Reply)

Sporters speaks for me in this instance
Fucking dip shits,
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:16, Reply)

*nods*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:17, Reply)

"what do you plan on doing with the money"
"well, the hooers are going to be much better looking for a start off."
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:32, Reply)

And the nose candy wont be cut

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:38, Reply)

One of my mates works at lottery HQ on the winners desk occasionally.
You can go in there on a Sunday (they send a car to pick you up) and they put you up in London and will give you a bunch of cash to be "going on with" while they sort everything out.

One mush asked for £50k in cash to tide him over for the 2 days it took to pay him his money. .
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:19, Reply)

i bet that's depressing

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:29, Reply)

He quite enjoys it.
Seeing the dawning realisation that their lives have changed forever.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:32, Reply)

clearly he is a better person than me

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:38, Reply)

well durr

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:40, Reply)

he probably doesnt touch kids on the cunt for a start

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:40, Reply)

Practically a saint then

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:42, Reply)

No kiddy fiddling is the minimum requirement for a saint.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:45, Reply)

Not for a Pope though eh kids

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:47, Reply)

is he single?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:12, Reply)

No.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:15, Reply)

Nope and his missus is an uggo
But I don't think even he would stoop so low.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:15, Reply)

She's on borrowed time now he can afford some proper gash.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:23, Reply)

Up grade imminent

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:25, Reply)

^ this
She'd better have a copy of the Karma Sutra and some hot friends.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:25, Reply)

It wouldn't make any difference.
I'd keep her, like a pet.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:30, Reply)

I'd wear her like a glove

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:41, Reply)

I'd wear her like a hat.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:41, Reply)

I'd wear her like a morph suit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:42, Reply)

Rubs lotion on skin

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:43, Reply)

I'd buy her family's houses
make them watch me fuck her in the arse in each of the houses and then kick the fucking lot of them on to the street.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:44, Reply)

officelol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:44, Reply)

Cunts. I'll fucking teach them to look me in the eye.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:46, Reply)

hahaha

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:47, Reply)

sounds mint, man

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:41, Reply)

Aye

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:44, Reply)

Innit.
I hate people who say it won't change them, or they go back to work.
Give it fucking back then!!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:15, Reply)

Ha! Seems we were all united in mirth there.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:16, Reply)

I won £25 last weekend. It won't change me.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:24, Reply)

Pity.
Prick.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:24, Reply)

ha!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:26, Reply)