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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Vote Bez!
I see that Mark "Bez" Berry is running for parliament in some northern city.
www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/mar/19/bez-happy-mondays-salford-2015-election
Have you ever considered entering politics?
Who else do you think might make a good MP?
Alt: I'm going to a funeral this afternoon. Know any good jokes I could tell to lighten the mood?
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:28, 185 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
I see that Mark "Bez" Berry is running for parliament in some northern city.
www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/mar/19/bez-happy-mondays-salford-2015-election
Have you ever considered entering politics?
Who else do you think might make a good MP?
Alt: I'm going to a funeral this afternoon. Know any good jokes I could tell to lighten the mood?
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:28, 185 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
I think Nige Farage would be a great MP
His voting record as an MEP just shows how dedicated he is to his constituents.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:30, Reply)
His voting record as an MEP just shows how dedicated he is to his constituents.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:30, Reply)
You'd certainly make for a great interviewee on Newsnight or Today
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:32, Reply)
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:32, Reply)
Nudge the oldest ones there and say
"see you here next week"
Muffled "Let me out"
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:32, Reply)
"see you here next week"
Muffled "Let me out"
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:32, Reply)
Not interested pal, im more into pc gaming and having it large at the weekend
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:38, Reply)
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:38, Reply)
that guy can't remember anything from 1990 to 2000
how is he not dead yet?
yes, i'd be a great politician. lots of politicians were lawyers first.
alt: knock knock (physically not verbally)
who's there?
don't answer, just look at the coffin...
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:34, Reply)
how is he not dead yet?
yes, i'd be a great politician. lots of politicians were lawyers first.
alt: knock knock (physically not verbally)
who's there?
don't answer, just look at the coffin...
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:34, Reply)
It would be nice if a few actually had experience of proper jobs.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:37, Reply)
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:37, Reply)
the wifes family are from up there
I love reading text messages from them
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:49, Reply)
I love reading text messages from them
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:49, Reply)
Gideon has gone up in my estimation due to his name being a dubsdubs
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:38, Reply)
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:38, Reply)
According to the OED, the first citation of the miniscule variant is from 1871, so this is a form that has been around quite a long time.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:51, Reply)
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:51, Reply)
just because people have been misspelling it for 100 years doesn't stop it being WRONG
googlefinger
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:52, Reply)
googlefinger
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:52, Reply)
Meanwhile, IN SCOTLAND
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-26636861
One of the judges rasher decisions.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:37, Reply)
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-26636861
One of the judges rasher decisions.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:37, Reply)
Ohhhh my God.
And these people want to govern themselves? They're not capable.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:46, Reply)
And these people want to govern themselves? They're not capable.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:46, Reply)
It'll be like Enter the Thunderdrome.
With Alex Salmond as Master Blaster.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:49, Reply)
With Alex Salmond as Master Blaster.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:49, Reply)
We should just put a big wall around them
and throw in meat every so often
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:50, Reply)
and throw in meat every so often
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:50, Reply)
It should be televised.
People could be sent there for committing crimes. Eventually somebody would be sent there unjustly and he'd survive, become battle-hardened and then escape to take revenge on the society that wronged him.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:55, Reply)
People could be sent there for committing crimes. Eventually somebody would be sent there unjustly and he'd survive, become battle-hardened and then escape to take revenge on the society that wronged him.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:55, Reply)
Well they are
As long as you're extremely liberal with your definition of "govern". Let's put it this way, if they take independence there'll be increased employment opportunities for anyone called Max of dubious sanity.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:52, Reply)
As long as you're extremely liberal with your definition of "govern". Let's put it this way, if they take independence there'll be increased employment opportunities for anyone called Max of dubious sanity.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:52, Reply)
I would like to point out, in Scotland's defence
That this was in Glasgow, so all bets are off. We don't fucking want that lot either. Fucking jakies.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:07, Reply)
That this was in Glasgow, so all bets are off. We don't fucking want that lot either. Fucking jakies.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:07, Reply)
Well, we're not fucking keeping them.
You want to leave, you take that lot with you.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:08, Reply)
You want to leave, you take that lot with you.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:08, Reply)
Glasgow is basically what Scotland is though, isn't it?
Apart from amusing poofs from Edinburgh and strange characters inhabiting remote islands.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:09, Reply)
Apart from amusing poofs from Edinburgh and strange characters inhabiting remote islands.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:09, Reply)
That was my nickname in junior school
Then he fucking ruined it. Luckily I soon went onto secondary school without any of my compatriots, and my new partners in education were kind enough to bestow upon me a number of nicknames which owed no debt to the shaking of maracas.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:40, Reply)
Then he fucking ruined it. Luckily I soon went onto secondary school without any of my compatriots, and my new partners in education were kind enough to bestow upon me a number of nicknames which owed no debt to the shaking of maracas.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:40, Reply)
as he serviced the faculty at the start of the week he was called Happy Mondays
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:48, Reply)
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:48, Reply)
No.
They need a party that covers all bases. keep everyone happy. None of this right or left wing bollocks. Is everything as black and white (bit racist).
I think Eddie Izzard is going for politics too. I'd vote for him if he didn't bang on about wearing a dress. Or Russell brand if he was a bit less manic and thought his knee jerk reactions out.
Alt. HA U R DED x
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:50, Reply)
They need a party that covers all bases. keep everyone happy. None of this right or left wing bollocks. Is everything as black and white (bit racist).
I think Eddie Izzard is going for politics too. I'd vote for him if he didn't bang on about wearing a dress. Or Russell brand if he was a bit less manic and thought his knee jerk reactions out.
Alt. HA U R DED x
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:50, Reply)
Russell Brands rant about politcs was one of the most retarded and petulant things I have seen on TV
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:51, Reply)
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:51, Reply)
It confuses me. he ha some good idea but they way he puts them across without thought denotes his credibility.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:53, Reply)
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:53, Reply)
I've got no problem with celebrities standing up and saying "Hang on..." with regards to politics
but they need to have some kind of argument other than "Well it just doesn't work does it". As far as I can tell he was just saying the current system is bollocks, there'll be a revolution and everything will be better, no I don't know how or when or why or what the new system will be, but I'm right.
Maybe his logic was that however embarrassing his rant ended up being, there's no way anybody could think any less of him.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:56, Reply)
but they need to have some kind of argument other than "Well it just doesn't work does it". As far as I can tell he was just saying the current system is bollocks, there'll be a revolution and everything will be better, no I don't know how or when or why or what the new system will be, but I'm right.
Maybe his logic was that however embarrassing his rant ended up being, there's no way anybody could think any less of him.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:56, Reply)
possibly
as I have said before I liked his radio show and it warmed me to his style, but he is clearly out of his depth in that sort of discussion and using florid language to try and cover it up doesn't work when you have an audience that knows the subject
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:58, Reply)
as I have said before I liked his radio show and it warmed me to his style, but he is clearly out of his depth in that sort of discussion and using florid language to try and cover it up doesn't work when you have an audience that knows the subject
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:58, Reply)
He wants a more hippyish world of one whole planet.
everyone working as one whole sentient being, free from the shackles of religion and oppression.
I think he needs to get back on the heroin.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:00, Reply)
everyone working as one whole sentient being, free from the shackles of religion and oppression.
I think he needs to get back on the heroin.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:00, Reply)
Exactly
Knowing words of more than two syllables is only impressive on 8 out of 10 cats. Paxman looked like he was torn between laughing right in Brand's stupid face, thinking about retiring mid-interview and wishing he was allowed to go Full Paxo and see if he could induce a Ben Swain-esque megablink.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:02, Reply)
Knowing words of more than two syllables is only impressive on 8 out of 10 cats. Paxman looked like he was torn between laughing right in Brand's stupid face, thinking about retiring mid-interview and wishing he was allowed to go Full Paxo and see if he could induce a Ben Swain-esque megablink.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:02, Reply)
the problem is that the average joe with a vote understands far less than brand
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:08, Reply)
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:08, Reply)
Very true
but my problem with Brand's nonsense is that he understands not only more than the average voter but probably more than many who actually follow politics, and yet he bangs on about this ludicrous utopia instead of making reasonable suggestions that people might even listen to given his ill-deserved celebrity status.
Also if you've never voted you have no right to complain about those who are elected.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:14, Reply)
but my problem with Brand's nonsense is that he understands not only more than the average voter but probably more than many who actually follow politics, and yet he bangs on about this ludicrous utopia instead of making reasonable suggestions that people might even listen to given his ill-deserved celebrity status.
Also if you've never voted you have no right to complain about those who are elected.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:14, Reply)
Can you imagine how long a bath he'd need to take to be suitably decontaminated?
The subsequent pruning would make it like being pounded by a manatee
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:22, Reply)
The subsequent pruning would make it like being pounded by a manatee
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:22, Reply)
She needs to die in a curling tong related incident.
How can you be that dim?
I mean I know that my knowledge of other countries gripes is few and far between but even with the use of social media, you know the basics.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:02, Reply)
How can you be that dim?
I mean I know that my knowledge of other countries gripes is few and far between but even with the use of social media, you know the basics.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:02, Reply)
Yah. It's fairly clear that the current system disenfranchises the poor and rewards the rich.
Pointing it out and then saying "I've stopped voting because I want a revolution followed by the world somehow magically sorting itself out into the hippie commune me and Tangles want" makes you look like a retard. Which, despite my personal distaste for the man, he isn't.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:05, Reply)
Pointing it out and then saying "I've stopped voting because I want a revolution followed by the world somehow magically sorting itself out into the hippie commune me and Tangles want" makes you look like a retard. Which, despite my personal distaste for the man, he isn't.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:05, Reply)
He bangs on about the fact that countries boundaries are self imposed, which they are.
You can't just take back thousands of years of conflict and war so we can go skipping off through a field together into the sunset.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:08, Reply)
You can't just take back thousands of years of conflict and war so we can go skipping off through a field together into the sunset.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:08, Reply)
Im all for peace, but as long as we have religion, that shit aint gonna happen.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:17, Reply)
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:17, Reply)
All religion has to do is agree that other religions are probably OK.
Which is sad. Doubly so when you consider that all the major western and middle eastern religions worship the same god. They're antagonistic over dogmatic differences. It's pretty tragic, really.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:19, Reply)
Which is sad. Doubly so when you consider that all the major western and middle eastern religions worship the same god. They're antagonistic over dogmatic differences. It's pretty tragic, really.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:19, Reply)
what was the last text you sent?
mine: "modern pantry booked for 8pm, see you there xxx"
she'll be late. she's always fucking late.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:50, Reply)
mine: "modern pantry booked for 8pm, see you there xxx"
she'll be late. she's always fucking late.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:50, Reply)
"I'm going to spend all weekend making fetch happen"
Pink points for whoever gets this
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:54, Reply)
Pink points for whoever gets this
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 11:54, Reply)
i'm annoying frog by texting him hymns with COCK inserted in hilarious places
i don't think he finds it as funny as i do
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:05, Reply)
i don't think he finds it as funny as i do
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:05, Reply)
What exactly is the funniest part of your body into which a cock can be inserted?
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:08, Reply)
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:08, Reply)
You have tried this havent you
There is no end to what YOU LOT will try
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:13, Reply)
There is no end to what YOU LOT will try
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:13, Reply)
Are you bringing famed internet sensation Richard McBeef with you?
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:00, Reply)
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:00, Reply)
I don't think so. He has childcare issues.
Battered asked where I was staying and whether I was driving.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:03, Reply)
Battered asked where I was staying and whether I was driving.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:03, Reply)
What time? I've got nothing on in the morning, doing-stuff-wise,
so I can meet you at the hotel whenever.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:15, Reply)
so I can meet you at the hotel whenever.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:15, Reply)
AW YEEEAHHH
You're supposed to get drunk and then hook up, not the other way around.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:17, Reply)
You're supposed to get drunk and then hook up, not the other way around.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:17, Reply)
I can't get drunk, I'm going to have the car.
I realised that both the previous Jeffstocks were a pitiful waste of a free pass to get drunk, as I drink like a girl, so I'm just going to stay sober and drive myself home.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:18, Reply)
I realised that both the previous Jeffstocks were a pitiful waste of a free pass to get drunk, as I drink like a girl, so I'm just going to stay sober and drive myself home.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:18, Reply)
So there's what, six of you going and only five are going to be drinking
at least three of them will be on the Columbian and you're going to be sitting there watching them.
Sounds great, beff.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:21, Reply)
at least three of them will be on the Columbian and you're going to be sitting there watching them.
Sounds great, beff.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:21, Reply)
Nah, it'll be right.
You can have a good time without being off your face, innit. And if it gets boring, I can always talk about shoes and make up with swipe.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:25, Reply)
You can have a good time without being off your face, innit. And if it gets boring, I can always talk about shoes and make up with swipe.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:25, Reply)
At least you're local-ish.
Have you got a baby-sitter for the husband all sorted out, or will you be back in time to change his nappy?
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:27, Reply)
Have you got a baby-sitter for the husband all sorted out, or will you be back in time to change his nappy?
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:27, Reply)
there are nice people going, it'll be fab
i don't see how anything could be boring with rakky there, she's hilarious that one
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:27, Reply)
i don't see how anything could be boring with rakky there, she's hilarious that one
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:27, Reply)
there's 10 of us going, i think, unless monty manages a last minute pass and makes it 11
so if you change your mind there'll be somewhere to crash
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:24, Reply)
so if you change your mind there'll be somewhere to crash
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:24, Reply)
Crash may not be the best word in the aforementioned circumstance
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:25, Reply)
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:25, Reply)
What are you on about man? This is a massive improvement on his earlier work
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:28, Reply)
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:28, Reply)
I think so, train leaves at half one i think so however long that takes.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:21, Reply)
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:21, Reply)
we'll meet you in the hotel unless you've found somewhere else to be, in which case we'll catch you up
rakky assured me jeff was organising it, but nada on the organisational front... typical bloke...
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:20, Reply)
rakky assured me jeff was organising it, but nada on the organisational front... typical bloke...
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:20, Reply)
I have no intention of attending. The idea of being in the same county, let alone city, as you has put me off.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:17, Reply)
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:17, Reply)
"Well that's just fucking bizarre"
Was chatting to the missus about the Dr Christian show that was on last night, she was telling me about some of the gay conversion techniques used/
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:21, Reply)
Was chatting to the missus about the Dr Christian show that was on last night, she was telling me about some of the gay conversion techniques used/
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:21, Reply)
he'd be good at undermining those politically correct nanny state politicians
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:04, Reply)
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:04, Reply)
I seem to be the only woman in the UK who actually finds Top Gear funny.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:12, Reply)
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:12, Reply)
No she does like it
she often comes round to mine and asks to watch it while I kick her back doors in
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:18, Reply)
she often comes round to mine and asks to watch it while I kick her back doors in
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:18, Reply)
She's definitely a keeper, that one.
Does she get on with your mental flatmate?
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:16, Reply)
Does she get on with your mental flatmate?
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:16, Reply)
Yep, flatmate thinks she's great. Family adore her.
I've been stitched right up, here.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:17, Reply)
I've been stitched right up, here.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:17, Reply)
some of my friends do
some of them, i suspect, are just trying to impress their blokes, but some of them really seem to mean it
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:15, Reply)
some of them, i suspect, are just trying to impress their blokes, but some of them really seem to mean it
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:15, Reply)
Is Bez the one who was locked up for knocking his girlfriend about?
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:04, Reply)
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:04, Reply)
I would make an excellent MP.
Shouty? Yes.
Dislike the majority of people? Yes.
Don't have a clue about most things? Yes.
Selfish & in it for the backhanders? Yes.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:12, Reply)
Shouty? Yes.
Dislike the majority of people? Yes.
Don't have a clue about most things? Yes.
Selfish & in it for the backhanders? Yes.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:12, Reply)
could be seen above the rows of seats in the house of commons? epic fail.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:12, Reply)
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:12, Reply)
my arse is tiny
the tits might need a seat each, mind you. but then, they'd fit right in with all the other tits.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:14, Reply)
the tits might need a seat each, mind you. but then, they'd fit right in with all the other tits.
( , Wed 19 Mar 2014, 12:14, Reply)
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