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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Lunch thread.
Ramen noodles and prawn dumplings and it tastes gooooood! What are stuffing down your fat gullet?

ALT: At JeffStock III some disgraceful Oirish Hoor with tatts and piercings offered to buy me a drink. Have you any tatts or piercings?

ALT alt: Bloo bloo.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:33, 138 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
I have some piercings

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:34, Reply)
Edgy

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:35, Reply)
'drone folk'
Which reminds me, Avery's Essential Mix is on Friday. Drone Logic EP just out an' all.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:37, Reply)
I ocasionally listen to that, so I'll listen out for it.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:40, Reply)
it'll be on iPlayer

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:41, Reply)
Where?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:36, Reply)
both ears
Left eyebrow.

Left nipple.

Belly button.

I also used to have my lip, tongue and septum pierced.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:38, Reply)
Just the sort of person I would entrust with my financial future. ;-)

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:39, Reply)
ha!
Yeah well I wouldn't trust a substance abuser to insure my mobile.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:40, Reply)
Point taken.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:41, Reply)
belly button piercings are for girls

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:41, Reply)
oh yer, piercings are 'creepy and bent', I forgot

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:42, Reply)
anyone who takes 20 minutes to get through a metal detector at the airport needs to die in a smelting incident

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:44, Reply)
mine have never set off any metal detectors

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:45, Reply)
*channels rory* ^ can't afford a holiday ^

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:47, Reply)
you wot?
They don't set off the metal detectors. Dunno why. Maybe it's not enough metal to trigger it.

Simple as that.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:50, Reply)
Not lunchtime yet, so I'm nibbling nuts
Alt: Good God, no.
Altalt: u ok hun?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:35, Reply)
I have a very difficult meeting at 3pm.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:36, Reply)
Taking YM to the clinic again?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:38, Reply)
That would be easy as it is fairly regular.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:39, Reply)
This is a euphemism, right?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:38, Reply)
nothing yet
i'm thinking maybe falafel salad from pilpel.

alt: we all thought you were going to give her one. just one hole in each ear.

altalt: save the drama fo yo mama
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:38, Reply)
Ahhhh, dry sawdust and salad.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:41, Reply)
just remembered i have a training session on development agreements
so sawdust in between bits of stale bread :(
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:42, Reply)
?THGIRLA
I had a sausage sandwich earlier whilst skiving off work for the morning.
Alt: Yeah, two Überkool tattoos, 'Angry Sun' and 'Rubbish Black Swirly Smudge' because I'm well alternative and individual.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:38, Reply)
i quite like the smudge one
angry sun is admittedly rather shit
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:41, Reply)
They are both awesome, I might get 'PAUL' on the side of my neck too.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:42, Reply)
And HMV on the other side?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:43, Reply)

M I
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:43, Reply)
I really think there should be some pictures posted so we can all make fun of him

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:42, Reply)
you need pictures to do that?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:43, Reply)
I would happily post a pic of my silly tattoos if certain forum posters didn't have an autistgasm over that kind of thing.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:46, Reply)
Cor I liked it when we saw your sideburns, chubby cheeks and receding hairline!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:47, Reply)
You see my point.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:48, Reply)
No, I didn't notice that in the picture

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:49, Reply)
that was the pic of your wife

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:49, Reply)
She's shaved her beard off???

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:50, Reply)
i think it was a young pic

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:51, Reply)
nonce

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:53, Reply)

sw
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:48, Reply)
this is better
more of this kind of thing
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:49, Reply)
simple but effective

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:51, Reply)
Alt: yes, both.

Wow. I have never felt so cool.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:42, Reply)
You are Kool to our Gang.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:42, Reply)
I so am.
Have you sobered up yet?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:43, Reply)
Easy.
Early night and no booze yesterday. Same today.

Drinking when I got home Sunday was a scoolboy error.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:48, Reply)
Gay.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:52, Reply)
Old AND gay.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:54, Reply)
Stop drinking with schoolboys then.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:54, Reply)
NEVAH!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:55, Reply)
They're not cool.
Soz.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:43, Reply)
Currently some wine gums
alt: no I do not have any tats or piercings. I'm not a redneck, a woman, or a council estate fug.

altalt: I was outside in the cold and rain for about an hour earlier. I am only now getting warm again. Cold went right down to my bones. Also my penis, as my flies fell open.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:44, Reply)
What is it with you and trousers?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:44, Reply)
He's in denial about now being a fat cunt, hence pantwoes

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:45, Reply)
No denial here. The trousers fit.
I just seem to be suffering from a string of manufacturing issues.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:48, Reply)
modified trousers so that he can 'accidentally' expose himself to young boys

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:46, Reply)
The Max Clifford of b3ta

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:47, Reply)
I dont know. I find it unlikely that the flies split under the huge forces required to restrain my immense package
largely due to the fact that my package is comedically tiny. I blame the lazy Chinese factory workers.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:47, Reply)
For the size of your miniscule penis?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:53, Reply)
Typical eBay

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:54, Reply)
Exactly!

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:02, Reply)
Fridge surprise
Boiled eggs, olives, carrots, pitta bread

Alt:
Nope - neither

ALT alt:
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:45, Reply)
imma make a massive salad for my friend tomorrow night, as we have a date with benedict cumberbatch and martin freeman
i'm going to stuff the boring green bits with lots of seeds and sprouting bits and very thinly sliced radishes and goats cheese pearls, i think.

i don't know why i'm telling you this.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:47, Reply)
I like food

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:48, Reply)
Because he's the least likely to be mean to you about it?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:49, Reply)
you'd fucking love it, you big veggie twat

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:49, Reply)
You've got goats cheese pearls all over your face
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:51, Reply)
mmmm
goats cheese
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:58, Reply)
You have dates with Benedict Sillyoldslags and Martin Dreamon?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:52, Reply)
well ok, just me and my friend lezzing off with our vibrators over the tv then
as you ask
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:58, Reply)
Nommy pasta with chicken and bacon I made last night
Alt. Used to have the top of my ear, eyebrow, tongue, belly pierced.
Not anymore though.
You know a girl is classy when she offers a man a drink.
Roughly translated as "Im an easy lay"

altalt. Man up! *slaps*
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:55, Reply)
It's quite nice though.
You are getting a free drink and you know you can bang it if you want to.

altalt: Sorry. It's just that it's going to ba an awful lot like hard work.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:57, Reply)
tggi

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:57, Reply)
if I can do it, anyone can!

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:59, Reply)
What if she's just offering him a drink because it's her round?
What then, eh?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:59, Reply)
SLAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYG

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:59, Reply)
She wants it. No mistake.
"Fancy a pint?"

She was fackin BEGGIN forrit
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:00, Reply)
This could be a good ALT
Propositions
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:01, Reply)
No thanks love, I've just brushed me teeth

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:03, Reply)
I spunk toothpaste

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:08, Reply)
manpaste

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:17, Reply)
Foofpaste

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:18, Reply)
Remind me to go out drinking with you sometime...

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:01, Reply)
b3th, I'd love to have a pint with you

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:02, Reply)
GET A ROOM!

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:02, Reply)
Behind the bins is a room, right?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:08, Reply)
STAY ABOUT!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:09, Reply)
Damn right, you would!

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:04, Reply)
I'm waiting for the sandwiches filled with meat of questionable origin van
Alt: I do, but I don't look like the kind of person who does, apparently.

I get to leave work early today to catch my youngest doing a school play about the Titanic. I'm bracing myself for a precocious moppet squeaking their way through 'The Hot-Dogs Go On' at some point
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 12:57, Reply)
Sandwich vans.
The bacteriologists friend.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:09, Reply)
It's not turned up! OH WOE etc, etc

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:11, Reply)
Probably caught scrofula off the van.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:15, Reply)
Gotta catch 'em all!

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:35, Reply)
Oh dear. what are your options?
I get narky when the sandwich lady does a no-show. There's only an Iceland and an Aldi round here.
I take my own food in now.

WOES!
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:15, Reply)
I've got half a bag of raisins to tide me over
Not much good when you had reformed chicken chunks in an under-buttered floury bap and a bag of salt and vinegar discos in mind though.
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:26, Reply)
mmmmmmmmm

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:30, Reply)
Chicken & bacon melt from Subway
Had point on my card, figured I'd use them.

ALtAlt: No.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:27, Reply)
Who said there's no such thing as a free lunch?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:28, Reply)
Me, every time I pay for a lunch. I'm funny like that, one liners and puns and stuff, I'm a right laugh.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:30, Reply)
Nobel-prize winning Chicago-school economist Milton Friedman

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:31, Reply)
He may have said it, but he wasn't the first

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:37, Reply)
I said it too

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:37, Reply)
I think I said it, up there^.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:55, Reply)
Falafal, hummus, salad chilli sauce wrap
Alt: tats are common, piercings on men are bent and moronic

Altalt: I've got one of them in my bog
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:33, Reply)
Alright swipe

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:33, Reply)
I ent no ranga

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:34, Reply)
A man on the train had a baby's hand tattooed on his hand.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:35, Reply)
People are ducks

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:35, Reply)
Well that's an interesting typo...

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:36, Reply)
Quackers

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:36, Reply)
They know their oats

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:37, Reply)
OAT LOL

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:38, Reply)
OAT LOL

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:39, Reply)
STOAT STOLE

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:40, Reply)
GOAT PROLE

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:41, Reply)
TRES DROLE

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:43, Reply)
GLORY HOLE

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:44, Reply)
BILLY JOEL

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:45, Reply)
WILLY POLE

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:46, Reply)
WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO SAY?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 13:47, Reply)

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