Well, maybe you should relax, and sit back and just say out loud.
"I'd like those leases back now please, filing fairies, it's been fun hunting for them, but I now have important soliciting to do, it'd be nice if they turned up"

And then the filing fairies will put them back and you can get on with being a lawyer or whatever.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:12, 1 reply, 10 years ago)

my trainee is scared of me today
she's never seen me lose my temper before. it's not her fault. but still, she has to share a room with me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:23, Reply)

Poor cow.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:24, Reply)

your turn later

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:27, Reply)

I thought that was yesterday

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:28, Reply)

that was the warm-up
HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:29, Reply)

YESSSSS AN EVENING OF COMPLETE OVER REACTION TO EVERYTHING!!!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:31, Reply)

sounds like someone's blobbing.....

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:33, Reply)

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:38, Reply)

You may as well give her good reason to be annoyed at you
I recommend spending several hours in the pub before returning home with half a meat feast pizza, brought as a peace offering.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:34, Reply)

fuck that, he's cleaning out the budgie and then running for miles at the gym
with me on the cross trainer behind him, so he moves faster.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:36, Reply)

You sound like a brilliant girlfriend

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:36, Reply)

defo one to take "up the aisle"

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:38, Reply)

Bollocks, it will be me dragging you to the gym, you will bitch and whinge all the way and whilst we're there, then admit you're glad we went on the way home.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:39, Reply)

are you still talking about the gym?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:42, Reply)

I suggest to counter this strip naked at the first possible opportunity
and waggle your genitals at her. this will result in either:
1) laughter and defusing the situation
2) rumpy and indeed pumpy
3) a swift kick and lots of pain

Now if you look at that statistically then a 2 in 3 chance of fun is a risk worth taking
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:35, Reply)

You forgot the more likely:
4) A withering (literally) look of contempt, an immense feeling of shame
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:38, Reply)

That's so hot

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:39, Reply)

Nah that one never happens
With this technique you have to REALLY commit to the waggling no half hearted shaking
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:39, Reply)

I will try.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:40, Reply)

NEVER GO FULL WINDMILL

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:43, Reply)

it's not worth the bruised thighs

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:46, Reply)

Unless you are pissing

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:48, Reply)

Are the people who do the filing in the same building as you?
Could you not ask them if they have a system or if they'd know what sort of place they might be?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:25, Reply)

well, i found the leases i do have
chucked willynilly into a box marked "historic deeds".

human laziness on the part of former colleagues who are no longer with us.

because they left, not because i killed them.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:27, Reply)

Sounds like you're fucked then.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:36, Reply)

pretty much
gash
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 13:40, Reply)