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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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At last! some good news!www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/features/national-orgasm-day-dont-get-caught-up-on-climaxing-9638379.html
Im sure we can all get behind this one.
what good news have you had today?
alt. Lunch
altalt. Y'all been paid? You celebratin'?
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:18,
207 replies,
latest was 10 years ago)
Alright "The Dozers"How's your Thursday plodding along?
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:28,
Reply)
Something about coming along nicely or something.I don't know - write your own punchline.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:26,
Reply)
i had a wankalt: a wank
altalt: nope, tomorrow, I will celebrate with having a wank
wanky wanky wank wank
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:30,
Reply)
but it does him good like it bloody well should(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:37,
Reply)
Take poo and call me in the morning(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:40,
Reply)
PAYDAY CANS!No childcare vouchers for the first time in 6 years today! WOOP!
I shall spend all of the extra moneys tonight
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:34,
Reply)
/DozerWhat do you do in yours, stare at the walls?
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:38,
Reply)
So... You have a telly in your bedroom too?(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:41,
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Free money innit?They come out before tax so you save £1200 a year. Calf 2 starts proper school in September, hence no more costs
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:39,
Reply)
Those pesky aging kids.I was only pulling your hoof, dear.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:40,
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I divvent care man!I got me free moneys today to spend on food and wines
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:41,
Reply)
Sporters mention of childcare vouchers reminds me of my first job doing Child Tax credits at the Inland RevenueYou got flexi time, so me and this lovely blonde lass used to go to town shopping. when my flexi was used up, I left :)
What has been your best and wort jobs?
**SUB THREAD**
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:38,
Reply)
My wort job was making beer(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:39,
Reply)
Best: candy floss stall by the ghost train (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:40,
Reply)
a whole fortnight down by the seaside amusements, before getting sacked for leaving out a whole box of feasts(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:43,
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best- catalogue modelWorst- marketing director for Pizza Hut 2008-2009. The previous guy wasn't very good.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:42, Reply)
I was a centrefold model for South Shields leisure centreTRUFAX
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:43,
Reply)
I managed to get an appointment with my GP for the SAME DAYThem GAIDS wont know whats hit 'em.
Alt: Chicken Mayo and Gammon sub and crisps
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:50, Reply)
Some stupid cunt that works here has managed to take £1000 in £50 notes where over half are fake, that isn't good news :((
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 13:14,
Reply)
Look for the positive here.You've got almost five hundred quid in notes.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 13:19,
Reply)
Use the fake notes to buy drugs with.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 13:27,
Reply)
they never notice as dealers aren't used to handling cash(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 13:28,
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Plus that'll have really made the customer's day, shifting all them shonky notes.(
Kroney, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 13:26,
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I know who it was, he's been politely informed of the situation(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 13:27,
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Oh dear. Do you not have one of them pens that you swipe (!) over them?
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 13:24,
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several, although the culprit seems to think that because they were in a bundle it wasn't necessary(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 13:26,
Reply)
I used to draw cocks with them on the notes, knowing that they showed up under uv light.Makes me wonder what I'd have done if I'd got an actual fake note though. That would've been embarrassing.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 13:35,
Reply)
I'm so glad I took the day off!I been a witness to my next door neighbour waiting until her husband left for work before moving all her shit out and taking the kids with her.
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Peej, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:05,
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Secret to a good marriage is to argue everydayNo shit builds up then. Works for me anyway.
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Peej, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:16,
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I remember being the kid in this situation, had to stop eating raspberry ripple ice cream and watching the silver surfer to go to our new home in fucking folkestone :((
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:16,
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Yeh I don't think the kids are going to suffer too much,they appear to have moved about 200 yards down the road into the house of the guy I have suspected her of banging for the last 7 months.
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Peej, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:17,
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do you think he is doing the sportsmans double hence them both moving?
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:19, Reply)
my aunt did thismoved herself and my cousin in with the guy 2 doors down. in tiny terraced houses in halifax.
my uncle got drunk one night and tried to go round there and smash his way in. unfortunately he was about as big and hard as amorous badger, and just ended up getting stuck between the outside porch door and the front door, and had to ring on the doorbell to get released.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:25,
Reply)
I'm being very supportive by taking photos and sending them to my wife(
Peej, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:26,
Reply)
She'll reply to Peej laterAfter she's finished banging the postman.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:37, Reply)
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 15:14,
Reply)
Fucking hell.I hope you have a camera to hand. YouTube is your friend when it all kicks off later.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:27, Reply)
I can't see how his feeding this chap beer will make things worse.(
Kroney, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:29,
Reply)
Excellent. Nothing can't be resolved by a half dozen hastily-quaffed cans and then going round there to 'get a few things straight'(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:31, Reply)
For the first time in my life, I'm a little jealous of a man living in Cornwall.(
Kroney, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:32,
Reply)
I was playing on my Raleigh Grifter when my dad got booted out.He stomped off up to the mk5 Cortina and did one. It was well funny, because he ended up having to give the Cortina back and continued paying the mortgage.
was the summer of eighty-nine /bryan
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Kroney, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:18,
Reply)
I had a strika. You're like a bigger, older, frencher me at times, Kroney.(
Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:47,
Reply)
I had to drag my mum kicking and screaming from her abusive marriage I hope one day my kids do the same for me.
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Peej, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:22,
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I like a bit of family tradition.I hope to have a couple of kids, have an affair and have two more kids that I prefer as a result of that.
#bitter #fatherissues #yolo
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:24,
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so long as you keep trading upwards for hotter younger ones, eh?(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:25,
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Dunno, do men have affairs with older uglier women?(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:26,
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I thought that was a universally recognised truth, in the classic Austin sense,that any older single woman is in need of a husband and willing to trade off with taking it in the dirt box.
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Kroney, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:30,
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i just got a bunch of beautiful flowersyou can trade whatever you like, now
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:31,
Reply)
I tried thatAfter she went back to him I got grounded for it, can you believe.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:27, Reply)
GET BEHIND! LIKE A GAY! LOL(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:27,
Reply)
What's the w for? (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:33,
Reply)
I don't want to get bummed. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:36,
Reply)
I don't think you're going to get the choice, old man.Just think of England and try not to cry.
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Kroney, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:54,
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This sounds like abuse. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:40,
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Jason is a big bull queer, and if he wants you by Christ he's taking you.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:43,
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Maybe just as well.The poor beast might end up on the wrong end of some drunken rage later.
Spare a thought for the other poor bastard in the equation though. He probably just thought he was getting his end away without a care in the world. Now she's turned up with the kids, all their worldly possessions and now the fucking dog.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:43, Reply)
Stupid cunt probably said he loved her in order to get into her poopipe... now that's backfired
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:46, Reply)
All he can hope is that his cock is still attachedIt would be a cruel twist if he was left dickless just after mother and daughter moved in.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:57, Reply)
Should've left the dog.Would've provided solstice whilst he adjusts to the emptier house.
The best thing the bloke could do now is not attempt them to make any contact with her and the kids at all. But make sure she sees the blokes delivering the pool table.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:51,
Reply)
+ stripper pole (for empowerment)+ Lap dancers
and new car due to extra expendable income
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 14:58, Reply)
Might as well get some bugle in and all if you're having strippers round.(
Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 15:01,
Reply)
Their debut was alright, but their later works lacked substance.(
Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 16:14,
Reply)
I thought the gay orgasm was a myth?(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 15:55,
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Shove a cucumber up your arse and find out.(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 16:55,
Reply)
so we have another meeting with a production company next weekand now ITV have just emailed to say they really like it, it's well written, and they are considering which channel it could go on. motherfucking ITV baby. hell yes i'm a celebratin'.
it'll still go nowhere, but this is some nice validationz.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 16:27,
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ITV is for people who smell of chip fat.Err... I mean, well done.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 16:34,
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Fucking horrible HQ thoughalso I can smell a "casting couch" manoeuvre a mile off... Can you hear the cacophony of zips being lowered and this question hanging ominously in the air "Just what would you do to get this pilot made"
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 16:47, Reply)
I hope it's as big a hit as Vicious.Which I did kind of enjoy.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 16:55,
Reply)
Fuck sake SwipeyITV is for frightful plebs. If it had been on any other channel I might have watched your pilot, but fuck that.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 17:01, Reply)
pfffftif anyone were dumb enough to put it on tv, you'd watch it so that you could mock me mercilessly.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 17:08,
Reply)
I would genuinely struggle, I'm not kiddingI refuse to watch anything on ITV, except Champions League football and even then I have to have the volume turned down so that I don't have to listen to Clive Tyldesley and Andy Townsend.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 17:10, Reply)
yes, but in my case, you'd be watching it purely to fling shiti think you'd enjoy that
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 17:15,
Reply)
You seem to have an entirely inaccurate impression of me.I'm hurt :'(((((
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 17:25, Reply)
ooh! well done :)can't be picky about the channel, it's all good.
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 17:09,
Reply)
i wasn't being mean about the ITV thingI was responding to them lot who are clearly jealous
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 17:10,
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i know! :)))it's also up with sky, so we'll see. mostly it's a bit of fun, but it's nice that people say good things about it. hoorah.
also, potential late august bash - you around at all??
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 17:16,
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maaaaaybehow late august? I'm back in work by then.
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 17:16,
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...and can you use your superior knowing peopel skillz to get me a comedy gig?
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 17:17,
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I have had the best of good newsI'm so happy I might explode
I got rid of cunt lodger
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broadsword w⚓, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 16:35,
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This is some news I can get behind.Though I didn't know you had a cunt lodger. Still, why would I? It's not like you tell me anything. I feel like I hardly know you anymore. I don't think this is going to work out.
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Kroney, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 16:39,
Reply)
I didn't know about your cunt lodgerAll I know about you is:
a) you like breasts.
(, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 17:04, Reply)
I find cunt quite an unpleasant wordI like vaginas
but truth be told, I prefer breasts
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broadsword w⚓, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 17:33,
Reply)
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