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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Hi pricks and fannies!
How we all doing? Happy Monday?
I had a successful date at the weekend and tried bison grass vodka. what did you have?

alt. last film you saw at the cinema and rate it please.
I saw It Follows and it was a genuinely creepy film. 9 popcorns out of 10

altalt. who would be the bread in your celebrity sandwich?
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:14, 205 replies, latest was 9 years ago)
You're twisting my melon, man.
Alt alt: we've already decided that. Cliff Richard and Delia Smith ... nobody is gonna top that. NOBODY.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:18, Reply)
By successful do you mean you got to masturbate using another guy?
Bison Grass vodka is ok ice cold and neat. I have lots and lots of Gin.

Alt. Book of Life. I took my daughters, I enjoyed it.

AltAlt. n
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:18, Reply)
NO!
I mean it had good flow of conversation, he was aesthetically pleasing and we are doing all that business on the next date.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:22, Reply)
I bought a bottle of Opihr gin and I liked it so much I bought another one.

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:24, Reply)
See, they should reconsider abandoning qotw when there are still epic anecdotes like this to be shared.

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:29, Reply)
oh boy!
It looks like The Resident Loon is back. How can they abandon qftw when its weakest member has returned?
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:33, Reply)
I had a curry, but not from the place I intended on buying from, as there was a notice from the health inspectors on the door advising that they had closed it down. Oops.
Alt: I don't go to the cinema to watch films, I go to a hip bar to watch them and drink craft ales.
It's still the same film it was last time this question was asked.
Altalt: 5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post2477572
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:22, Reply)
Last film - Good Vibrations - the Terri Hooley story.
It's on iplayer. It's alright.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:24, Reply)
the scene where he discovers punk was one of my favourite bits of cinema of the year

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:26, Reply)
Where was it?

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:27, Reply)
some club in Belfast ... dunno if they were specific

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:28, Reply)
I wonder how long it had been there
It's always in the last place you look, isn't it?
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:29, Reply)
His missus had that fit but dour pauper look that's prevalent in the Irish.

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:29, Reply)
he's a mate of a mate so he occasionally pops up on The Facebook
he looks a bit like a friendly bank manager these days
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:31, Reply)
I had a look on Wikipedia after th be film. Seems like a great guy.
But not the best businessman.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:32, Reply)
he is by all accounts a thoroughly lovely chap
but even worse at The Music Business than Tony Wilson
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:35, Reply)
alt alt sian williams and that rachel riley bit of skirt
Cor!
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:25, Reply)
Who puts bread in a sandwich?
Unless it's a club sandwich, but then your metaphor is being stretched beyond reason.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:27, Reply)
I had roast pork, it was very nice.
Alt: I can't remember the last time I went to the cinema so cannot answer this question truthfully, sorry.
Altalt: I refuse to answer this on the grounds that I'm not a 'lad' with a stupid list of celebrities who would 'get it'.

Cheers.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:28, Reply)
gay

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:30, Reply)
I got in trouble because I misunderstood the "freebie list" concept and didn't realise it had to be famous people.
"That lass on the checkouts at Tesco with the smashing rack"

*Smack with a book*
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:32, Reply)
Reasonably quiet at work today, which makes a change.
Had some wine and beer and things.

Alt: Some film about a flid in a wheelchair whose wife gets stroppy at him for being in a wheelchair and then fucks some floppy-haired tweed-prick.

Altalt: Dunno, but I think I've decided that I'd probably let Taylor Swift have a go on me, if she promised not to tell anyone. You know they're fun, but you don't want your mates finding out.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:34, Reply)
altalt: Our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:38, Reply)
that's basically a foursome

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:39, Reply)
Let the lord jesus christ into your body and mind

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:40, Reply)
then gargle His spirit and dribble it onto His dad

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:41, Reply)
Time for my lunchtime cubicle wank I think.

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:42, Reply)
there's nothing more dignified than getting lonely sexual gratification in the miasma of your colleagues' bowel movements
/ac
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:44, Reply)
It really helps finish me off if an obese man in his 50s is loudly straining in the next cubicle.

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:49, Reply)
Unloading over the cubicle divider is the holy grail of toilet wanks.

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:18, Reply)
balls or bowels?
or both?
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:19, Reply)
One, then the other.
The order depends on what it takes to bring yourself to orgasm.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:20, Reply)
it's usually simultaneous at my age

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:53, Reply)
Your wife must be happy.
At the point of orgasm she has a beautiful fountain to watch. Put a torch up your arse to make it even more spectacular!
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:58, Reply)
club sandwich

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:41, Reply)
Hello jason.
I went out drinking at the weekend for the first time in quite a while and got hammered. Recovered now, but have to do a shit loads of work today for a meeting tomorrow.

alt: x-men or some shite

altalt: me?
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:39, Reply)
altalt n.

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:45, Reply)
has anyone said "things you can't unsee" yet?

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:46, Reply)
n

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:47, Reply)
I haven't been to the cinema for ages. I can't even remember what I saw.
I just got my face drilled by a dentist. I am numb and I can taste chemicals.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:51, Reply)
I can also taste chemicals.
I've had this ability for as long as I can remember.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:53, Reply)
What does Hydrofluoric acid taste like?

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:15, Reply)
orange sherbert

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:40, Reply)
Awesome.

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:44, Reply)
he did something you couldn't.
Sorted out a cary.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:53, Reply)
She, you fucking sexist.

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:54, Reply)
The pilot, you racist

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:54, Reply)
Quick, give yourself a blowjob so it feels like someone else.

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 12:58, Reply)
arf

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:09, Reply)
This Monday is pretty meh.
I'm learning about the manufacture of sturgeon and trout food. I've had bison grass vodka before; it's a'igh'. I've also had grass and vodka separately. Never eaten bison, though.

Alt: "La Famille Bélier". Rating: surprisingly uncheesy and with some genuinely heartwarming moments. The lass playing the young heroine is also a definite would.

Alt: Is the idea of a celebrity sandwich for there to be me, a clone of me and a celebrity in between the both of us? Or do I have to share said celebrity with some other random bloke?
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:02, Reply)
altalt. You decide.
For example, I would have Tom Hardy and Ryan Phillippe
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:04, Reply)
Right you are.
I'll have Catherine Zeta Jones in "The Mask of Zorro" and Scarlett Johansson in "Lost in Translation".
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:23, Reply)
I've eaten both bison and buffalo

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:10, Reply)
<possible your mum joke opportunity>

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:10, Reply)
I washed my hands in YM

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:39, Reply)
I've had reindeer.
And goat. And YM.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:24, Reply)
client of the day
Fangita Kandolola
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:13, Reply)
nice client confidentiality skills mate
No wonder you were headhunted for your high powered role.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:17, Reply)
S'ok, google thinks he has made it up anyway
www.google.co.uk/search?q=Fangita+Kandolola&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&gws_rd=cr&ei=t539VPiUFsviaJGugLgP
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:19, Reply)
haha, Lisa Wank!

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:19, Reply)
UH-OH!!
More like one of the sales monkeys hasn't phonetically checked a name.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:37, Reply)
*shrugs*

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:36, Reply)
spudulike were crying out for a mascot

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:39, Reply)
HAHA! yeah.

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:42, Reply)
alright ghettoblaster 2.0

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:27, Reply)
Like I'd be sad enough to create a sock account.

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:36, Reply)
pricks and fanny... how we don't talk anymore

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:36, Reply)
Had the brother's partner stopping over at the weekend
so I took them shopping at Old Spitalfields Market. Vintage clothing, bric-a-brac and cake stalls, they were in heaven.

Alt: Kingsman. Over the top amusing spy thingy. 9/10 needed more boobs.

AltAlt: Scarlett Johanssen and Famke Janssen, obvs.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:43, Reply)
Isn't that a kids film?

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:44, Reply)
Not really unless you're fine with kids seeing people cut in half and stuff

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:49, Reply)
Happens in my basement every other day.
They never seem to complain.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:02, Reply)
Nope. It's in a similar vein to Kick Ass, Im led to believe

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:53, Reply)
hiya
i am ok thank you, i had a few pints and a hangover at the weekend

i saw the robocop remake on netflix, it was much worse than the original

i don't like celebrities
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:45, Reply)
y

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:45, Reply)

wasn't it dreadful (Robocop)?
I wanted more guns and stuff
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:53, Reply)
I watched a film called 'The cube' or just 'cube' or something the other day. It was shit, I didn't bother watching it all the way through. I think they probably all died.
Cheers
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:47, Reply)
CSB

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:49, Reply)
Soz, please tell us more about falling asleep you turgid freak.

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:52, Reply)
It needs more Dozer
www.imdb.com/title/tt0097438/
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:57, Reply)
cube 2: hypercube is much better

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:02, Reply)
Watching a blank screen for 90 minutes would be better.

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:04, Reply)
How did it end?
Did they win the jackpot, or did they gamble one too many times, forcing Philip Schofield to send them home empty handed?
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:09, Reply)
I had what seemed like a very fast weekend, still not sure where the fucker went
Alt: I fall asleep during any movie at the cinema, so have long since given up on paying a lot of money for a nap and a stiff neck, I did however watch "The Raid 2" on Netflix 9.5 Karambits out of 10

alt:alt: N
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:49, Reply)
Now there's some quality chop socky.
I thought it definitely held a candle to the original in terms of the quality of the fight scenes.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:56, Reply)
It was everything I wanted in a good kickers Iko Uwais style reminded me very much of Tony Jaa

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:25, Reply)
some on here are definitely pricks AND fannies
i went to a ball in manchester cathedral and i ordered a new car.

alt: "the imitation game". probably horribly inaccurate, but v good film.

altalt: i don't do odd numbers. just an open sandwich will be fine.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 13:57, Reply)
I don't believe anybody with that level of intelligence could be such a raging homo.
It's revisionist nonsense by the bent liberal elite.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:00, Reply)
You think most homo's are thick?

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:03, Reply)
Not really jason, no.
Not everything I write on here is straight from the heart.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:05, Reply)
To be fair, they don't seem to know how to use their genitals properly.

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:05, Reply)
Yes, and bald.

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:05, Reply)
Alan turing tried to hide his deviancy with a wig.
Truefax.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:07, Reply)
Did he use an 'ewigma' machine hahaha

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:09, Reply)
That's nothing.
Darth Foxtrot used to try hiding his with a beard.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:10, Reply)
so did Tom Cruise

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:11, Reply)
we'd never have taken over the world in that case.

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:16, Reply)
isis are dealing with it

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:19, Reply)
they've got stones, them ISIS

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:25, Reply)
Say what you like about ISIS,
...actually, probably best not.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:33, Reply)
probably for the best that the 'post metal' group disbanded when they did

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:36, Reply)
I smashed up an old shed, it was very therapeutic
To replace with a bigger one, natch.

alt: took the sprogs to see Paddington, it was surprisingly good, 8/10

altalt: if it's just for sex, Kim Cattrall and Susan Sarandon pls, think they know a thing or two......
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:00, Reply)
Let's do a GILF thread!!

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:03, Reply)
Hello!
Looks like I arrived just at the right time...
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:03, Reply)
b3th, every time.

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:04, Reply)
\o/

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:09, Reply)
Helen Daniels

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:07, Reply)
Pre or post stroke?

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:10, Reply)
+vinegar

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:15, Reply)
helen or chips

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:26, Reply)
Yes.
Many a bedsheet was starched as a result of Mrs. Daniels in my adolescence.
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:10, Reply)
Michelle Pfeiffer

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:11, Reply)
Really?
You'd LF Michelle Pfeiffer?
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:12, Reply)
Probably a french bloke.

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:13, Reply)
Poor Kroney

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:34, Reply)
Helen Mirren

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:26, Reply)
Tell us about your date Maris Piper
where did you go, what did you do, what made it "successful"
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:13, Reply)
drinks, Chorlton, good chemistry

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:16, Reply)
did he cum-hardy?

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:19, Reply)
nah, that's this weekend

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:24, Reply)
He found another who's comfortable in their own skin

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:19, Reply)
altalt: having never eaten human flesh I can't say who is likely to be the best tasting

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:22, Reply)
Jason Orange?

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:26, Reply)
Coffee. And a naan.

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:27, Reply)
Edwina Curry

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:27, Reply)
hot chocolate

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:30, Reply)
beefy botham

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:31, Reply)
everyone who played for west ham

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:31, Reply)
nice quints

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 15:27, Reply)
Shane Rich-Tea

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:32, Reply)
John Ham and Alison Brie

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:32, Reply)
fuud gullit

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:32, Reply)
Cake Winslet

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:33, Reply)
eric pickles

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:34, Reply)
vanilla ice

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:35, Reply)
Allan Lamb

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:37, Reply)
robert breadford

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:39, Reply)
Richard McBeef?

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:40, Reply)
michael fish

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:41, Reply)
Neil egg foo Young

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:41, Reply)
reverend bisto

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:41, Reply)
Jeremy Pax(o)man

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:42, Reply)
Melony sykes

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:42, Reply)
chicken livingstone

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:43, Reply)
potatony blair

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:44, Reply)
Stan broccolimore

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:44, Reply)
eggs benedict cumberland

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:46, Reply)
fab-io

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:46, Reply)
Richard Bacon

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:47, Reply)
meatloaf

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:47, Reply)
GUYRIM

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:47, Reply)
One for Jasums that, I bet he'd like some David Seaman and all

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:48, Reply)
Billy Ocean Spray Low Calorie Cranberry Flavour Drink With Added Calcium

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:48, Reply)
^ WINNAH
Now be a good chap and start a new thread, Yer?
(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:49, Reply)
your wish is my command

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:51, Reply)
A Caribbean dream

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:51, Reply)
omg, BOSLCCFDWAC

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:53, Reply)
tim stilton

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:55, Reply)
Doctor best bacon roll

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:56, Reply)
set your faces to iced bunned

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:58, Reply)
roy walkers crisps

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 14:58, Reply)
robin chilliams

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 15:00, Reply)
cuba pudding junior

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 15:01, Reply)
bruno mars bar

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 15:01, Reply)
quentin toffee crisp

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 15:02, Reply)
daniel puddingfield

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 15:04, Reply)
1

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2

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3

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4

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5

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8

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9

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 15:06, Reply)
10!

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 15:06, Reply)
delete this thread please

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 15:06, Reply)
Are you not joining in the new thread then?

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 15:06, Reply)
it's a bit dull

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 15:20, Reply)
Thread stomp it then

(, Mon 9 Mar 2015, 15:24, Reply)

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