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This is a question Kids say the shittiest things

Smudge the Demon asks: Have your kids - or anyone else's - come out with something that provoked extreme laughter, embarrassment, fear or outrage? Tell us your little darlings' memorable sayings. It's like Take a Break's letters page, only with more swearing

(, Thu 23 May 2013, 15:28)
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Knock yourself out, folks.
badkidsjokes.tumblr.com/
(, Thu 23 May 2013, 21:52, 24 replies)
that's fucking incredible

(, Thu 23 May 2013, 22:21, closed)
What Does Naked?
How Girl Get Pragnent
(, Thu 23 May 2013, 22:37, closed)
THIS IS NOT A JOKE BUT MY PET DOG EATS CAT FOOD

(, Thu 23 May 2013, 22:49, closed)

I hate listening to young children trying to master humour. They've heard jokes, and have a hazy understanding of the structure - but despite their very earnest efforts, never quite hit the mark. The results are invariably excruciating, and yet they persevere, endlessly, until their audience is curled into a foetal ball of reflected awkwardness, embarrassment and shame. I've nothing against the kids themselves - they have to start somewhere, life's a learning curve, and so forth - but it reminds me of reading your posts.
(, Thu 23 May 2013, 23:47, closed)
tl;dr
summary please

(apart from "HP is a smart-arse sperglord who loves the sound of his own voice", that much is obvious)
(, Thu 23 May 2013, 23:51, closed)
I've nothing against kids themselves either - you, however are a monumental spastic.

(, Fri 24 May 2013, 8:19, closed)
The interrupting sheep joke being a prime example.

(, Fri 24 May 2013, 9:32, closed)
I find it better to laugh along with them,
and join in with the joke telling. That way, they learn now it works. "Reflected awkwardness, embarrassment and shame" will only wreck their self-confidence.
(, Fri 24 May 2013, 9:46, closed)
But that's the fun part.

(, Fri 24 May 2013, 10:01, closed)
You're wasting your breath here.

(, Fri 24 May 2013, 16:38, closed)


(, Sun 26 May 2013, 9:29, closed)
You've got proper mental issues.
Don't breed.
(, Sun 26 May 2013, 20:36, closed)
It's almost like he hates anyone who tries to make jokes.

(, Mon 27 May 2013, 7:21, closed)
Has this sub-thread gone as well as you'd hoped?
A simple "yes" or "no" will do.
(, Mon 27 May 2013, 22:01, closed)

It's gone as I expected. Check you, though - so incensed by a mild rebuke that you've been angrily monitoring the thread for four entire days, leaping in with a masterfully crafted 'nyah nyah' noise now a couple of talktards have donned their shining tinfoil armour and cantered in on their Shetland destriers to ineffectually raise their fliddy little arms for your cause.

Also - I got more replies than you =D
(, Tue 28 May 2013, 17:42, closed)

Comedy gold.
(, Tue 28 May 2013, 18:21, closed)

Are we cribbing our replies from Usbourne's "My First 1000 Shit Zingers", now? Very well.

u r upset on the internet lolz
(, Tue 28 May 2013, 21:08, closed)

www.b3ta.com/questions/overcomingadversity/post1809489
(, Tue 28 May 2013, 21:10, closed)

{img src="http://www.myfirst1000shitzingers.com/hilariouspictureofstevemcdonald.png"}
(, Tue 28 May 2013, 21:21, closed)

I think we can close b3ta now - this interesting, pithy, perfectly-punctuated retort has rendered all further postings pointless.
(, Tue 28 May 2013, 21:30, closed)
psst -
"perfectly punctuated" isn't hyphenated.
(, Tue 28 May 2013, 21:41, closed)
You do know that trolling is supposed to make other people look like cunts, right?

(, Tue 28 May 2013, 23:26, closed)

I've got that covered. I'm compiling a list of the posts I've disliked - and when I think I have enough, I'll put some links to them in my profile.

That'll show everyone who's boss.
(, Tue 28 May 2013, 23:49, closed)
They're already up to the b3ta level, as in this example:
"what does naked mean
i dont no
boobs"
(, Fri 24 May 2013, 8:49, closed)

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