Magic
I knew a lad at school called Steven Allison and he was known as Ali.

This became Ali Bongo - after the magician.

Then Bingy Bong.

Then Bingy.

Did well to remember that!
( Blackdogmanguitar is out with Fat Larry's Jazz Band on, Fri 19 May 2006, 10:36, Reply)

Well...
I was called Dr. Smelly at infants school.

Parp!

Also, fairly recently, a friend of a friend who's name was Kim was referred to, in public and quite loudly, as Quim by her mates. I nearly choked on my pint the first time I heard it.
(Mr. Partyhat, Fri 19 May 2006, 10:31, Reply)

Body popper
There was a girl who went to the school next door to us, who had some kind of disability that made her walk funny, so we, being the kind hearted sorts that we were at that age nicknamed her the body-popper, after the breakdancing craze. This then led to the ultimate put down of "eurgh, your girlfriend is the body-popper" How very mature of us.....
(smirker neverletmetellyabouttheraggamuffinbiznessandting!, Fri 19 May 2006, 10:27, Reply)

Embryo Head
My mate Em, was nicknamed by someone originally as Embryo-head, then shortened to just embryo, because he has a big head that is shaped like those of unborn babies you see on ulra-scan pictures..
(smirker neverletmetellyabouttheraggamuffinbiznessandting!, Fri 19 May 2006, 10:25, Reply)

started thinking now
although I did have a load of shit nick names I was not alone, in my school we had:
W.O.W. - Wank'em off Wendy, she did
Bensons - gave hand jobs for 10 cigs, I used to steal from the newsagent just for her!!
Fat Nat - very large girl who since has become anorexic.
bog breath bones - explains itself, but ironically he's now a dentist!
As a former recipient I have now become a nick name abuser, the army gives loads of opportunities, among those I have given out
one watt- not very bright
BOBFOC - Body of Baywatch, Face of Crimewatch
Dobbie - creeping little bastard always wanted to please anyone
Gollum - raving nutter always talking to and arguing with himself
the fish - 8 second memory span
P.C. - to an officer who still thinks it means Platoon commander, it's Pointless cnut
and my favourite
Sweetcorn - always in the shit
(the tartful splodger, Fri 19 May 2006, 10:16, Reply)

not that bad, but meh..
someone called watson who had a few spots - Spotson

oh the hilarity

or a guy called tobi who had his hand placed in a bowl of water, and somehow becaame known temporairily as 'tinkle tobi'

i have a very boring life
(Sheepdean was rifling through your underwear drawer on, Fri 19 May 2006, 10:12, Reply)

My friend and I used to belong to an amateur dramatics group
The nicknames we gave to our fellow luvvies weren't very snappy but they were at least descriptive.

Tom who can't act
Simon who can't remember his lines
Daniel who smells of wee
That bloke who always looks like he's had about 3 hours' sleep
Peter who isn't a bumbling old fool
Peter who is
This Wooden Jo
Office Head Ed
Nice guy Eddie
Rocksteady Eddie
That Annoying Girl
That Awful Girl
Sour-Faced Old Trout Woman
The Fat Bloke Who Used to Look Like Elvis

We didn't have many friends at that group.
(Pachey, Fri 19 May 2006, 10:11, Reply)

See the nicknames I've known
have been quite self explanitary over the years...

Birdy - His surname was Bird
Pitcher - His surname was Pitcher
Goody - His surname was Goodwin

mine? Graham Norton.

Why?

Not because I act like a flamer, but because I make sexual jokes. What was ever wrong with Bernard Manning - Actually no...don't go there...

My other friend was also quite prone to having dizzy spells. She ended up with the nickname "Dizzy Tits" (Dizzy Fits). Lovely.
( Grinned2Death knows what Willis was talking about, Fri 19 May 2006, 10:08, Reply)

We used to play a lot of PGA Golf
On the Sega, years ago. Everyone had a golfing name to keep their statistics. One friend of mine, Mark, who's short, tubby and balding sat down for his first play of the game and on the list of pre-generated characters was a real life PGA golfer called Bob Tway. We looked at Mark, and looked at the game and everyone decided that Bob Tway suited him much better than his real name.

So much better in fact that the name stuck like glue and 12 years later he's still known as Bob Tway to all and sundry. He even introduces himself as Bob Tway to people he's never met before. The only people who still call him Bob are his family, who for a long time were at first mystified, then annyoed and then resigned when people rang them up asking for "Bob".

My particular golfing name stuck too, although not quite as badly and at least I got to keep my first name. That's where the "MattDP" come from. I almost got christend as Matt da Prat but (in a small mercy) the bloke keying it in was stoned and made a couple of mistakes and it came out as Matt de Prata. This eventually evolved into Matt de Pratae, which at least sounds vaguely continental.

At least I didn't get lumbered with "Jonny Spank", as one gentleman did.
(MattDP (Squiggle), Fri 19 May 2006, 10:02, Reply)

Facial Hair Clair
I'm so sorry for that one. She didn't have facial hair, she just had slightly dark eyebrows...but it stuck.

Ticket to Hull please.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 19 May 2006, 10:02, Reply)

Should've been a yank
While going through basic training at halton, there was a really shit arcade style shoot-em up game in the naafi. I used to put about £10 a night into the damn thing, and play using both pistols. It got to the point where i was firing at the target before it appeared on screen. As I was that good at it by the 2nd week, they gave me the wholly american nickname of 'tex' (short for two gun tex). Took me 4 years to shake that nickname.

Just realised how shit a story this is.
(Darkpie 3.243F6A8885A308D31319, Fri 19 May 2006, 10:02, Reply)

what's your real name then?
My mate LL Cool Mikey D (formerly known as Beardy Weirdy or sometimes Beardy Mike) has some friends, recently I found out one of their name was Emma but she is called "Heed" in a scottish accent on account of her unfeasibly large head on a little body.

I still dont know the real name of either "Dr.O the Shagmeister" or "Mr.P".

I had a friend who expressed a desire as a 15 year old fresh to our school to become a helicopter pilot in the Air Force. His name was "Birdman" from then onwards.
(unclehunty, Fri 19 May 2006, 10:01, Reply)

Where do I begin....
As a young fella I was somewhat portly, short and ginger so bet your arse I got some abusive nick names
Jaffa - round and orange
Spaz - not very goodd at sports
Yeti - age 11 size 12 feet hence big foot - yeti
fanta pants- orange pubes.
since those days I've grown a bit, now 6 foot 1, lost a ton of wieght and have grown into my huge feet. I still get grim satisfaction when I return to my old home town and see people I haven't seen in a while who made my life miserable and they ask do you remember spaz? I smile and say quietly, yeah thats me, looks of horror!
my current nick name is Buffy, cause I've (s)layed a few monsters in my time.
(the tartful splodger, Fri 19 May 2006, 10:01, Reply)

Stinking Bishop
In the grade school lunch line, I managed to silently squeeze out a down-under air biscuit. The two nice girls behind me noticed the increased thickness of the air and immediately accused me. Unfortunately, they declared the stench of such high quality that everyone in the lunchroom should come sample the excellency, which of course many did. One connoisseur noticed a good deal of cheesy-likeness in the smell and thus dubbed me, forever to be known as, "Cheese". Oy-vey.
(Pfft I bet she gives great helmet., Fri 19 May 2006, 10:00, Reply)

We weren't very imaginative at school ...
... we had a kid with big lips who got the nickname Lippy, a ginger girl with bad teeth who got the name Ginger Goof and a poor lad who once got his eyelids burnt and we called him Eyey. A really stinky kid got the name Scum 'Ed, and even his mother started calling him it.

My favourite was a lad who got the name Gilbert as a name in French class. Supposed to be pronounced Jill-Bear.

Anyway, the name stuck and he's still called it today - 20 years later.
(jimcrock, Fri 19 May 2006, 9:53, Reply)

My sister calls me Princess Noo Noo
After the vacuum cleaner on the Teletubbies. Apparently I have a face like a hoover. Nice.
(Pachey, Fri 19 May 2006, 9:47, Reply)

Love-bite Linda
speaks for itself really
( Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Fri 19 May 2006, 9:43, Reply)

Bastards
Used to call me Piggy (it just went with Parker ok ??) - although I was a little portly in them farbegone days. Which was fine until a joke went around with the punchline - "because he fucks pigs !" (How could they know ????)

I knew a guy called Curzon Harrington Wragg once, and though we didn't have a nickname 4 him, we did spend an entertaining evening over dinner trying to anagramise his name.
(The real vlad the impala, Fri 19 May 2006, 9:36, Reply)

Spewings
The average ten year old's rhyming vocabulary is limited at the best of times, but with a surname as strange as mine, Spewings was the best anyone could ever come up with.

It gained a certain resonance however one French trip when, following two cans of Cherry 7-Up and a big bag of peanut M&M's my stomach decided that the back seat of the coach (the first time I had been granted access to it by the 'cool kids') needed redocorating, in a strange fizzy brown colour.

Later shortened to simply Spewz.
( Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 19 May 2006, 9:36, Reply)

Mark Brown
At school, when they did the register, they read out my mate's surname first, then his first name.
Hence: "Skids"
(sputnik1, Fri 19 May 2006, 9:35, Reply)

Nick Names
A selection:
Nick H (slightly large eyes) aka "The Bobble eyed Frog"
John H ("regimental" haircut) aka "Square Head"
A large gentleman with grooming issues: "Haystack"
A teacher with a taste for pink jackets, very greasy hair, appalling b.o. and teeth that had never seen a toothbrush: "Odd Bodd" (Remember carry on Screaming?).
(DustyD, Fri 19 May 2006, 9:27, Reply)

Donkey
On about day three at big school, Carl Sawetz, god love him, called me a donkey. It stuck, I am a bit of a donkey.

Everyone called me donkey for the next 5 years, (why the long face? oh cos you're a donkey! hahaha) though it did eventually get shortned to the more affectionate "donks".

On the plus side, I got to uni and people found out what my nickname was. They assumed (pretty much entirely wrongly) that I was called donkey because I was hung like a small horse. Consequently most of my year now think I pack a purple headed womb ferret Linford Christie would be proud of.

Fortunately only a select, and discrete group of ladies have ever had the misfortune to discover the crushing truth.
(donksta, Fri 19 May 2006, 9:22, Reply)

nice and simple.............
They must have been there a while when they thought up my nickname at college............

Big Boobs Bec!!!

or BBB for short........ Genius!
(bectoria, Fri 19 May 2006, 9:20, Reply)

Ledger
We'll its my nickname, but I wouldnt call it bad, yet I wouldnt call it awesome either. Its just kinda stuck majorly for about 6 years or so.

It comes from the fact I have a busted hip, which in turn has given me a shorter right leg.

Now heres where it gets a bit silly. The name ledger has sort of evolved from the word Pleb (Because apparently, Iv got no legs you see).

Pleb
Leb
Lebber
Ledge
Ledger

et Voila. My Nickname
(Ledger, Fri 19 May 2006, 9:20, Reply)

Bucket Fanny
At school I went out with a girl who was called Annie and had the unfortunate nickname of Annie Bucket Fanny on account of her being a bit of a goer. From this you would expect her to have a vag like a wizard's sleeve but ironically she was rather snug down there! Either that or I just have an unfeasibly large knob. Probably not though!
(Tom Jones's Mojo Hasn't had any since, Fri 19 May 2006, 9:14, Reply)

You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
Being a small blonde girl prone to violent book-throwing locker-kicking rages in primary school the other children took to calling me 'Dr Banner', a name discovered and then gleefully picked up by my own father who uses it to mock my violent outbursts to this day.
(Neo Nervosa, Fri 19 May 2006, 9:11, Reply)

highly offensive
my current nickname, in full, is 'aids mcvictim'.

does that mean im loved and well respected by my peers?

it gets embarrassing when shouted out by drunk friends in pubs, or when being introiduced to noooo people.

at my old job, my nickname was 'aids on a bike'.


my school chums call me 'bish'. where did it all go wrong?
(magictorch, Fri 19 May 2006, 9:09, Reply)

Poor kid
We had a Vietnamese refugee kid at our primary school called Bin Lid, he didn't stand a chance.
( Just Juan Cornetto will take you to the lo-rider show n' flaunt ya on, Fri 19 May 2006, 9:09, Reply)

Bastards
I have a larger than average nose.. at school I earned the highly original name of Concorde which gave me 2 years of hell, even though I gave the originator of this nickname, the highly amusing handle of "shemale" on account of his child-bearing hips.
(LunarJim, Fri 19 May 2006, 9:04, Reply)

Not so much a nickname
My dad's name is Anthony, but he and everyone else says it with no H (Antony, basically). He once gave his name to a company over the phone as being "Anthony, with a H".


He still gets post for Hantony.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 19 May 2006, 9:03, Reply)