A recent letter to the Independent
asked why subtitles "insult deaf viewers" by using words like 'gonna' and 'wanna'. How the fuck is this insulting to anyone? I've been unable to get it out of my head since reading it because I'm RISing so hard at it.

What don't you understand?
( Bob Todd whee, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:49, archived)

I don't understand airfix labels
And I don't understand why they play rubbish music videos on the TV in the cafe thing at college
( davew27 hevosen kuva!, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:51, archived)

That's what they think you lot want to watch - ask the women in the cafe to change
I want you students to come back soon so that they can open the cafe again

You probably study in the 6th form block - that's where my office is!
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:59, archived)

I do learn at home
When I go to college I usually just do work with which ever tutor I've gone to see at one of the tables on the first floor
( davew27 hevosen kuva!, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:06, archived)

ah right
we've replaced all those computers on that floor with new Dells last week
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:12, archived)

I saw them being replaced when I went in on Thursday
And the week before I saw them all in boxes

I'll probably take some photos to put on flickr when I'm in college tomorrow
( davew27 hevosen kuva!, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:13, archived)

Why subtitles don't have "lol, rofl and omgz!"
That would be awesome.
(Flobby Boris is returned to /talk from the northern wastes., Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:51, archived)

awesome shit
( davew27 hevosen kuva!, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:52, archived)

I'd laugh my face off though...

(Flobby Boris is returned to /talk from the northern wastes., Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:07, archived)

Why electricity doesn't fall out of empty sockets
when they're switched on.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:51, archived)

There's nowhere for it to go to.

( Bob Todd whee, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:53, archived)

does it not have any friends it can go to the pub with?

( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:54, archived)

It could go anywhere it wanted, though.
It could go out of the door, into the fridge, into the garden, anywhere!
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:54, archived)

Electricity always chooses the path of least resistance.
It's hard for it to travel through the air, so it won't unless there is something at very close range to which it can jump. In the case of sockets, the conducting object has to be so close it's actually in the socket.
( Bob Todd whee, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:56, archived)

are men made of electricity?
they always try to take the path of least resistance
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:57, archived)

Lecturers always make that joke.
Electrons always take the path of least resistance, just like students ho ho ho.
( Bob Todd whee, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:59, archived)

perhaps i should shoot myself now

( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:59, archived)

keep doing the pelvic floors dear

(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:59, archived)

How do you explain their love of bum sex?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:59, archived)

ladies breath smells of spunk and shit
if you're lucky
(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:00, archived)

Obviously if you're standing by a pylon, this does not apply

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:02, archived)

Pylons shunt MAHOOSIVE amounts of electricity, though.
A little domestic socket is nothing compared to pylon cables.
( Bob Todd whee, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:03, archived)

The breakdown voltage for air
Is approximately 10,000 volts per centimetre.
( Lord Gnome, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:07, archived)

I don't know what breakdown voltage means.
Is that how high the voltage has to be before the electricity will 'jump' through the air? That's what it sounds like from context, but I want to be sure.
( Bob Todd whee, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:10, archived)

Pretty much
For electricity to jump across a metre of air requires a potential difference of about 1,000,000 volts.
( Lord Gnome, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:13, archived)

Chinese

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:51, archived)

if the script is 'wanna' and 'gonna' then it should be the same on the subs
but if the script is 'going to' or 'want to' then it should not be shortened
( CowJam, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:51, archived)

Unless "gonna" and "wanna" are new disparaging terms for deaf people.

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:52, archived)

Maybe they are obscene gestures in sign language

( Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:53, archived)

"Facking wannaaaaa" *makes "wanker" sign*

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:54, archived)

*knees you in the gonnnna*

( Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:55, archived)

"I hate those fucking gonnas, with their strange hand-language and yelping speech etc."

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:53, archived)

But the deafies aren't going to know the difference, so who cares?

( Bob Todd whee, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:55, archived)

deafies Wannas
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:56, archived)

I'm sure you can have an understanding of the english language
without being able to hear it
( CowJam, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:00, archived)

Exactly.
So why should deaf people be bothered by the use of 'gonna' and 'wanna' if they know what they mean?
( Bob Todd whee, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:04, archived)

bit chav, innit

( CowJam, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:07, archived)

I dont understand why im so shivvery and my head is really hot and my nose is blocked and my joints ache.

( Damion International - now taking orders., Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:52, archived)

Sounds like the flu
As with all other health problems, this requires a cuppa tea.
(Psycho Eyes, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:52, archived)

Nonsense, Dr Eyes.
It sounds like a COLD. A COMMON COLD. Not FLU. A COLD.

A simple COLD that people everywhere get every day and DON'T FUCKING MOAN ABOUT IT.

A COLD.

/hates it when people moan about having a cold, call it "flu" or even take time off because of it.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:58, archived)

Isn't the flu like a cold but worse?
If I were shivery and achy and snotty and probably contagious I'd stay at home. Staying at home is ace.
( Newington, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:00, archived)

I think there's vomming
and a fever.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:01, archived)

Damion mentioned high temperature
Has he been vomming?
(Psycho Eyes, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:02, archived)

If it lasts for a fortnight and he's unable to get out of bed
for 95% of that time, THEN I'd say it was Flu.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:09, archived)

I only said flu, Dr Catfish
because of the achey joints and high temperature. I didn't think you get those symptoms with a common cold.
I agree about taking time off with a cold, also with headaches. Take painkillers and get over it I say!
(Psycho Eyes, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:01, archived)

A temperature and feeling achey are also symptoms of a COMMON COLD, Dr Eyes.
This article should explain more. i.e:

"Sometimes confused with the common cold, influenza is a much more severe disease and is caused by a different type of virus."
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:04, archived)

I see Dr Catfish
In that case, I recommend a cuppa tea.
(Psycho Eyes, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:07, archived)

You heartless bastard!
It could be Manflu!
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:02, archived)

Your body is in the freezer, your head in the kettle
and you have corks up your nostrils.
( Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:54, archived)

What an interesting image
that has now conjured up.
(Psycho Eyes, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:54, archived)

You're in the antarctic with your head up a walrus' arse
being beaten by a posse of enraged penguins.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:55, archived)

That's an even more interesting image
interesting disturbing
(Psycho Eyes, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:56, archived)

someone just sent me a stupid video
of a dolphin humping a man


the youth of today tut etc
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:56, archived)

Full penetration or just watery frotting?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:57, archived)

it was more like a horny dog
dry humping your leg kinda thing
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:58, archived)

OMG i just said 'kinda' i've just offended deaf people lol

( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:59, archived)

Would this walrus be lost?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:04, archived)

you've caught 'internet moan'

( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:55, archived)

sounds like a cold
or to use the correct medical term: "ManFlu"
(Dangermouse., Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:56, archived)

I don't understand
a word one of our clients says. Even his emails are barely understandable.
(Psycho Eyes, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:52, archived)

String Theory.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:53, archived)

Xkcd explains it best.
"Supposing all the universe consisted of tiny, vibrating strings."
"What would that imply?"
"I don't know."
( Bob Todd whee, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:54, archived)

It implies lots of things,
actually.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:55, archived)

That 'actually' was poorly judged.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:56, archived)

I know.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:57, archived)

You're clearly dead clever and know all about science.

( Newington, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:57, archived)

Clearly.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:57, archived)

Did you know that one fundemental string has planck mass of the equivalent of about 1 million bacteria?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:55, archived)

Why would you measure something in terms of numbers of bacteria?
Or am I missing a hilarious LOL biology joke?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:59, archived)

It's one of them there "Real life" comparisons,
like when you say a building is so large it can fit X amount of Double Decker busses in it.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:01, archived)

But ... people have a real sense of how long a double decker bus is
who the fuck has a grasp of the weight of a bacterium?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:12, archived)

NO FUCKIN' WAAAAAAY?!?

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:00, archived)

you spelt plank wrong.
what that has to do with bacteria, I don't know.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:00, archived)

Planck is someone's name.
who the constant was named after.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:03, archived)

all this new work we've been given to do
we were allowed to briefly look at the required tools but not actually use them or seen them being used
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:55, archived)

Slack-jawed Americanised mumbling is insulting because it's careless and discourteous
I don't see how it can be more insulting in subtitles than it is in speech though. If the actors are saying 'gonna', that's what the subtitler's job is to report.
( Newington, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:56, archived)

The Shleiswig Holstein question.
There's a pretty straightforward solution really. So why couldn't the fuckers work it out at the time?
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 30 Jul 2007, 14:59, archived)

"It can take people a long time to realise the obvious,
but of course it's only obvious now." - Ian Stewart.
( Bob Todd whee, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:06, archived)

That being said, my straightforward solution would be technically termed ethnic cleansing.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 30 Jul 2007, 15:19, archived)