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Apparently I'm going bowling tonight.
Bowling is shit and rubbish and for cunts.

What are you doing that's shit and rubbish and for cunts?
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:02, archived)

lolstomp

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:02, archived)

I forgive you.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:04, archived)

magnanimunch

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:34, archived)

hanging out on b3ta.com/talk

(

MONO!, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:09, archived)

Fuck.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:10, archived)

^never bowled above a 40 with the bumpers up

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:10, archived)

Is ... is this another sex thing?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:12, archived)

you'll never know

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:18, archived)

fuck off plod

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:11, archived)

naink

(

mongychops, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:25, archived)

waiting for christmas
CHRISTMAS!!! hahaha
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:29, archived)

KARISTUMASU!
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:57, archived)

^lewd

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:57, archived)

soz
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 15:40, archived)

3.bp.blogspot.com/-OiKNjzWhGTg/UovNG5hyn2I/AAAAAAAAB8c/4w3Rnjo-Qi0/s1600/xmascard_nov2013_1.jpg
(

vladimir, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 16:16, archived)

Is that Se7en's alternative ending?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:58, archived)

Sesevenen

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:59, archived)

A few years back, we were playing Wii Bowling with some of the wife's cousins.
They made turkey sounds whenever one of them got consecutive strikes. Fucking weirdos.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:30, archived)

tl;dr

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:33, archived)

Wot, no sympathy reply?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:38, archived)

Probably 'cos three consecutive strikes is known as a turkey.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 15:13, archived)

i've heard that your wife is quite good at gobbling

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 15:22, archived)

living

(

$$ ✅, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 15:13, archived)

you're so deep and brooding

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 15:21, archived)

people just don't understand

(

$$ ✅, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 15:24, archived)

me

(

$$ ✅, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 15:25, archived)

Time for an exciting thread!
Been up to anything exciting, this morning?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:00, archived)

sympathy reply

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:03, archived)

This place would be dead on its arse without your sympathy replies.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:05, archived)

I'd rather not say
I believe it's my right to not answer that question, based on my opinion that my answers might be misinterpreted as self-incriminating
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:05, archived)

oh, except that my new phone case turned up
it is satisfactory
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:06, archived)

Damn you, 2Hats.
I'd convinced GCHQ that this would work.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:07, archived)

You've gotta get up *pretty* early in the morning to get one over on me, sunshine

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:09, archived)

I'd rather just wait for you to get up, then pop round an get one over on your wife.
If you know what I mean.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:11, archived)

ooh, cheeky!

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:27, archived)

Irrepressible, I am!
My whole life is like a Robin Asquith film.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:31, archived)

I think this might help
www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsJnuvbjL0s
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:34, archived)

well that was a lot of fun wasn't it

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 11:45, archived)

Yeah, pretty good
Might have a sandwich in a minute. Imagine that!
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 11:48, archived)

Momo's shat on the new laminate floor already

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 11:50, archived)

Get him to clean it himself
It's the only way he'll learn
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 11:56, archived)

You should have spent a few hundred quid more and got linoleum.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:05, archived)

lino lends an unmistakeable air of class to any lounge or bedroom

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:29, archived)

You need a shagpile rug to retain the odour of piss and puke though.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:42, archived)

~~pile rug to retain the odour of piss and puke though~~
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:50, archived)

Tru dat

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 13:37, archived)

I'm off the dentist at 2pm

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 11:51, archived)

I know someone who went to Krakow to have her teeth fixed, worked out eight grand cheaper, just saying

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 11:53, archived)

i.imgur.com/dv5Uk4L.png
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 11:53, archived)

that wallpaper is atrocious

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 11:55, archived)

spare room innit, can't be arsed getting new paper in there, just told them to paint over it

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:17, archived)

you keep a saucepan and your cut-off dreadlocks in the spare room?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:28, archived)

the dreads are trophies
one taken from each night with janet aylia
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:57, archived)

What happened to Janet?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:59, archived)

she had a tit lopped off but the cancer had already spread to her face

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 13:03, archived)

Not interested in your cock, soz.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:02, archived)

Yeah right.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:07, archived)

Yeah, I had a cracked tooth rebuilt for 20 quid, dunno what that would cost if I went private

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 11:55, archived)

They used flour and water though.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:06, archived)

superglue it you dim cunt

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:18, archived)

Warsaw's got higher dental standards than Stockport
surprisingly
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:26, archived)

The slums of Calcutta have higher dental standards than Stockport.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:32, archived)

cdn.imagepush.to/in/625x2090/i/3/36/362/17.png
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:37, archived)

none of mine are cracked or missing fucko

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:56, archived)

My dentist recommended that to me
Either that or he just wants me to go to Poland
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 11:56, archived)

I haven't had any work done on my teeth since the 1980s.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:07, archived)

is that why you never smile?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:16, archived)

I'm the most annoyingly cheerful person anybody is likely to meet.
Don't judge everybody by your own gloomcore standards.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:19, archived)

so you're absolutely insufferable when offline too?
oh the humanity
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:26, archived)

I'm only insufferable to gloomy misanthropes.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:32, archived)

I imagine he is really annoying to do drugs with

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:33, archived)

Only if you like to breathe during hugs.
I'm a helluva hugger. Sometimes I scare myself.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:40, archived)

oh I'm sure grrry would love that
he strikes me as the sort who relishes every opportunity to make physical contact with others
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:43, archived)

it'd be as beautiful as this
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:46, archived)

I'm extremely affectionate
in the appropriate circumstances
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:48, archived)

Hospices. Mosques. Petting zoos.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:50, archived)

those are all synonyms

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:51, archived)

<s> highly inappropriate places to get an erection

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 13:07, archived)

I am frequently complmiented on the quality of my hugs
the trick is to give a surprise aftersqueeze when they think it's finished
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:46, archived)

How to wank Chapter 17.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:47, archived)

"complmiented" and no mouseover
prick
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:49, archived)

even his compliments are made by miele

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:51, archived)

we need to start keeping score here

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:56, archived)

BENT

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 13:00, archived)

hey, you know what, up yours buddy

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 13:02, archived)

^sort of thing a bender would say

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 13:05, archived)

couldn't you have pushed it back by half an hour?

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:10, archived)

I went there at that time last week
but never thought to make a joke about it
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:12, archived)

don't go too often or you'll end up like garideb
careful, godby
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 13:30, archived)

not really

(

MONO!, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 11:59, archived)

HELL YEAH

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:07, archived)

a lot of BUM more like!

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:10, archived)

BUMS are funny.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:20, archived)

maybe yours is, mine's deadly serious

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:27, archived)

story checks out
www.yahoo.com/tv/bp/don-cheadle-admits-working-butt-tv-nude-scenes-201642363.html?nf=1
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:49, archived)

indeed
it has often been noted what a right laugh we have here don't we
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:31, archived)

we have a right laugh here

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:32, archived)

^

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:33, archived)

i.imgur.com/DFKQcYh.gif
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 13:01, archived)

Strangely beautiful in its own way

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 13:02, archived)

^chubby chaser

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 13:06, archived)

chubby catcher more like
even I can outrun a fatty
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 13:07, archived)

on your marks ...
i.imgur.com/xKCJq7L.jpg
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 13:09, archived)

CHRIST ON A BIKE
How does THAT happen??
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 13:24, archived)

I don't have any answers
just more questions
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 13:29, archived)

Heavens above

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 13:34, archived)

i.imgur.com/Cn28kUn.jpg
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 13:38, archived)

i.imgur.com/qA7kiOU.jpg
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 13:39, archived)

Now we're getting CYBERSEXY
/ac
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 13:44, archived)

he might have simply sat in a puddle of dirty rainwater by accident

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 13:52, archived)

well yes, that's a possibility
but one should never rule out anal seepage
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 13:55, archived)

~~sat in a puddle of dirty rainwater by accident~~ eaten more than is safe for a human being and subsequently put himself at risk of serious health problems almsot certainly resulting in premature death
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 13:59, archived)

I just hope he lives long enough to give me my old account back

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:00, archived)

oh, now that's just unkind

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 14:03, archived)

I must of missed it

(

mongychops, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:35, archived)

I did all the best posts again

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:36, archived)

why do you write must of if you went to a grammar school?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:38, archived)

grammer

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:41, archived)

kelsey

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$$ ✅, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:44, archived)

I know, it makes me furious online too

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:49, archived)

Very rare we get a pedant online these days, I used to like it when people would get furious at my lack of capital letters or punctuation

(

mongychops, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:56, archived)

I wish mgt was here

(

$$ ✅, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 13:01, archived)

I wish mongychops hadn't bullied her off the forum

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 13:07, archived)

Bummed her up the bum MOAR LIKE

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 13:29, archived)

for others maybe
I was a bit upset by it all
(

$$ ✅, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:43, archived)

Good.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:47, archived)

there there

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 12:51, archived)

I'm sorry to hear that

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 13:01, archived)

"While the crew are waiting the Soyuz capsule, they can distract themselves with a playlist of music. The three tracks chosen by Tim are Queen’s Don’t Stop Me Now, U2’s Beautiful Day, and Coldplay’s A Sky Full Of Stars."

what music would YOU listen to as you were waiting to be shot into space sat on top of something full of really very flammable stuff?

You can reply to both versions of this, with different choices, and then start an argument with yourself using another account if you like
(

vladimir, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:31, archived)

morning

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:31, archived)

you chose a hymn! I never would have thought it of you. just goes to show doesn't it when you ASSUME you make an ASS of U and ME!!!

(

vladimir, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:34, archived)

what the fresh hell are you blathering on about

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:39, archived)

woah, we were having a conversation down there
rude
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:34, archived)

well now I just don't know what to think

(

vladimir, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:35, archived)

haha i troll u

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:36, archived)

no wai

(

vladimir, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:40, archived)

i.imgur.com/KlhCORc.webm
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 11:08, archived)

giphy.com/gifs/YP2Og89Dxm8cU
(

vladimir, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 11:30, archived)

Hocus Pocus by Focus, I reckon
and I'd insist that mission control did the yodelling
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:35, archived)

I would probably watch this on the youtubes.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:37, archived)

Here you go
www.youtubemultiplier.com/566ff089054cc-hocus-pocus-into-space.php
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:51, archived)

that website is sketchy as fuck
it doesn't always sync up properly
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:56, archived)

ohohoyodeleho

(

vladimir, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:58, archived)

Christ he sounds like a dull prick I hope he explodes in space.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:36, archived)

I guess they tend to select out the zany, wakki, leftfield, personality disorder types for the grown up jobs

(

vladimir, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:40, archived)

*cut to baldmonkey wearing a fishbowl on his head sadly walking away*

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:41, archived)

pffffffft
I seen a disappointment
(

vladimir, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:42, archived)

Ha!

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:43, archived)

hazaah.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Fish-bowl-costume-resizecrop--.jpg
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:54, archived)

^blatant goldfish abuse :(

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 11:00, archived)

it's a Russian rocket, he'll be lucky if he gets into space without being vapourised

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:41, archived)

now let's not think that, they've had the orthodox blessing, they've weed on the wheels, if we all concentrate very hard on imagining it going well, that's got to help, right?
I mean did you never even get taken to see peter pan?
(

vladimir, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:45, archived)

final countdown, obvs
the music from that advert for the biscuit called 5 4 3 2 1 youtu.be/ezLzflX6r5Q
something by rocket from the crypt
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:38, archived)

that video sent me down a rabbit hole of late 80s/early 90s adverts, btw

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:56, archived)

SHEPHERDS PIE!!!!!

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:59, archived)

'member adverts in the 80s and 90s? 'member them?
they were right mad
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 11:03, archived)

'member when things were slightly different to how they are now?
'member when people had different hair cuts? hahaha what were THAT all about, eh?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 11:05, archived)

dunno, something uplifting to the hearts of all true soviet patriots

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:41, archived)

youtu.be/VJ9q7N5e25c?t=18s
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:55, archived)

ra ra rasputin?

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:56, archived)

if you go to the live feed they're playing Queen RIGHT NOW

(

vladimir, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:41, archived)

I probably would listen to Queen in that situation
but not fucking Don't Stop Me Now.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:42, archived)

that's exclusively for beating undead bartenders to a pulp with pool cues
morning babe
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:45, archived)

Well I would have thought that was obvious
hey sweetie
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:46, archived)

i.imgur.com/gv2f6nH.webm
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 11:06, archived)

Good lad
He gave it a go. You've got to give him that.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 11:14, archived)

and he remained on his feet

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 11:18, archived)

I know, Hot Space on random play would be my choice too

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:46, archived)

I'm not going to let you upset me, Frank
I won't rise to it
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:47, archived)

art is so subjective isn't it

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:48, archived)

absolutely not

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:53, archived)

idiot

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 11:10, archived)

too risky
by the time i get there it could be u2 or coldplay and i don't want to chunder up my sausage sarnie
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:44, archived)

I wouldn't just pick three songs that have some vague relevance to what I was doing
Christ almighty, you'd have thought that astronauts would have a bit more fucking imagination
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:41, archived)

They're all actors in Hollywood
Nobody has really been to space.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:44, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpEmHajlCt4
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:42, archived)

more like
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2X_2IdybTV0
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:43, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KHu2pADMV4
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:45, archived)

wouldn't you prefer to listen to some of the highlights of your own musical career?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPJ-K8lLj_E
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:55, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxMrtK-kYnE
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:59, archived)

I'm going for this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoUWUxSfDdo
(

vladimir, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:53, archived)

the sound of someone breathing heavily and masturbating

(

$$ ✅, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:54, archived)

shambles has got you covered
so to speak
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:54, archived)

ewwww

(

$$ ✅, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:55, archived)

The early Ministry instrumental 'Abortive', which contains samples of the countdown sequence from the launch of the Challenger shuttle.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:54, archived)

dunno
www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDyxyRcZWBA
(

mongychops, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:57, archived)

dunno
www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDyxyRcZWBA Lexi Belle
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 11:03, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/7874144
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 11:04, archived)

woohoo up and away

(

vladimir, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 11:07, archived)

cunt didn't explode, lost interest, closed the tab

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 11:08, archived)

^bored of mainstream pornography^

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 11:16, archived)

Morning.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:20, archived)

nah

(

MONO!, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:21, archived)

bit derivative

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:22, archived)

I'm derivative of everyone else that fucked your mum.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:39, archived)

Hi.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:25, archived)

Wimples.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:28, archived)

Why a second good morning thread?
I am not complaining, I missed the first one by virtue of having to go do some work, just curious.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:38, archived)

I was still in bed for the first one so it doesn't count.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:47, archived)

Not sure why it all has to be about you m8

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:49, archived)

I am.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:51, archived)

Good morning

(

$$ ✅, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:26, archived)

Isn't it?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:29, archived)

gonna be tshirt weather soon

(

$$ ✅, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:31, archived)

I'm wearing a t-shirt now.
Have I cum too soon again?
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:48, archived)

phwoar

(

$$ ✅, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:49, archived)

I'm entirely confident today's the day manolith gives me my old account back

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:28, archived)

Too late. He's given it to Mykeyboy.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:29, archived)

haha
he fat
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:33, archived)

he fat AND stoopid

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:48, archived)

Great news!
There's been a notable absence of misogyny and antisemitism, of late.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:34, archived)

We should invite that nice Andrew Lawrence to join the forum.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:49, archived)

He'd fit right in.
Someone should reach out to him, via Twitter.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:51, archived)

We've tried but he just keeps blocking people.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:52, archived)

~~people~~ doorways
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:57, archived)

~~people~~ khazis
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:58, archived)

latest tweet:
Currently being dogpiled by feminazis. I think I like it ;p
(

$$ ✅, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:00, archived)

I sort of assumed that feminazis were the people that Max Moseley pays to join in his orgies.
Uh, allegedly.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:03, archived)

he died

(

$$ ✅, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:36, archived)

~~died~~ lost a stone recently you know
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:38, archived)

woah! Slimmer of the year!

(

$$ ✅, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:39, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/5027503
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:41, archived)

I bet he chews his fingers in his sleep thinking they're sausages

(

$$ ✅, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:45, archived)

they ARE sausages though
so much lard and pork has accumulated in his body tissues his fingers do actually qualify as sausages
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:50, archived)

He makes up 24% of the EU pork quota.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:53, archived)

ha!

(

$$ ✅, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:00, archived)

He could lose more weight than I weigh and still be a revolting blob of a man.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:42, archived)

he weighs over 230st

(

$$ ✅, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:46, archived)

That's 1.5 tonnes

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:08, archived)

www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/10642/1251115518/23.jpg
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:16, archived)

s1.b3ta.com/host/creative/10642/1244330444/Mykeyburger.jpg
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:17, archived)

I am rooting for you big guy.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:38, archived)

~~for~~
(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:57, archived)

Nothing but repeats on the internet, again.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:32, archived)

sympathy reply

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:44, archived)

I don't want your pity.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:47, archived)

~~pity~~ money honey I want your love
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:20, archived)

that'll probably set Shambles off wanking again

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:24, archived)

implying that he ever stops wanking

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:30, archived)

I qualify for disability welfare on account of my left hand being permanently wrapped around my dong.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:36, archived)

mor nin g
(

vladimir, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:50, archived)

I thought we'd already established that
or is this some kind of peer review?
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:53, archived)

Science requires replication.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:53, archived)

~~replication~~ the ability to get right back to evolutionary basics when it really comes down to it
"Rituals before lift-off are important, a Russian orthodox priest has walked around the rocket and cast holy water on to its fuselage and thrusters, a tradition that dates back to the mid-1990s and the fall of the Soviet Union.
Peake and his crew also received a personal blessing before they left for the rocket.
In a more crude ritual, crew members urinate on the wheels of the bus taking them to the launch pad, a tradition said to have been started by the first man in space, Yuri Gagarin, though it has never been witnessed by anyone outside an inner circle of astronauts."
(

vladimir, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:59, archived)

Surely they're just copying that dog that went up?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:02, archived)

hahahahaha

(

vladimir, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:06, archived)

big fat smelly sweaty fannies

(

mongychops, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:55, archived)

but enough about your mother ...

(blah di blah di blah blah, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:58, archived)

clicking this for absolutely no reason whatsoever

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:59, archived)

^ clicking THIS for absolutely no reason whatsoever

(

vladimir, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:00, archived)

woah

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:02, archived)

I clicked this; I have my reasons

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:06, archived)

add some tits and I'm there

(

$$ ✅, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:01, archived)

^just seen a jolly Jack squirrel drawing

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:05, archived)

I collect them,
laminate them and spunk over them
(

$$ ✅, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:07, archived)

as long as it keeps you away from real squirrels I guess that's ok

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:11, archived)

fucking hell, they'll reboot anything these days won't they

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:15, archived)

vladimir, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:22, archived)

Birdie Song by The Tweets on constant repeat for the entire duration of the mission

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:24, archived)

I don't know who Tim is, but I hate him already

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:26, archived)

this seems like a new thread
can it be a new thread?
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:27, archived)

I don't know manolith, is it interesting enough? the bar's pretty high around here

(

vladimir, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:29, archived)

i believe in you, young fellow-me-vlad

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 10:32, archived)

morning

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 7:24, archived)

n

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 7:32, archived)

why'd you have to be so negative?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 7:39, archived)

Hi

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Dec 2015, 7:48, archived)

Hello Mighty Pig of Wind

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 7:53, archived)

DICKFACE

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:04, archived)

DOGBREATH

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:09, archived)

IN DA HOUSE

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:09, archived)

I suppose

(

MONO!, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:09, archived)

what do you suppose upon, dear mono?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:10, archived)

morning

(

MONO!, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:15, archived)

^got the whole world in his hands

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:20, archived)

the whole world is a handful of liquorice jelly beans?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:23, archived)

how many boys have you brought to the yard so far?

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:30, archived)

I don't keep track of them, they all pay cash

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:40, archived)

in my youth pocket money was 50p, I dunno, kids these days

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:56, archived)

good morning
I am unwell today, so I apologise if I'm not my usual effervescent self
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:25, archived)

feeble excuse

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:30, archived)

*fizzes*

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:34, archived)

hollynagel.com/wp/wp-content/gallery/hats-dresses/HAT-MCA-2012-bubble-hat-web.JPG
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:35, archived)

IT'S A MEDICAL CONDITION

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:40, archived)

what, you're usually in a half-arsed goth rock band begging someone to Bring You To Life?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:39, archived)

I don't get it soz

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:58, archived)

rude

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:59, archived)

Anál nathrach, orth’ bháis’s bethad, do chél dénmha
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:35, archived)

is this a star wars thing?

(

mongychops, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:38, archived)

sure, if you like, why not

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:40, archived)

i might have to go watch that shit this weekend i suppose , dunno

(

mongychops, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:53, archived)

I heard Ham Soso dies, apols for spoiler

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:55, archived)

luke sky walker has been made into a tie fighter

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:57, archived)

*fingers in ears*
SHUT UP SHUT UP LALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LALALALALA
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:58, archived)

I like the little green Fozzie Bear guy

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:59, archived)

Yolo

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:00, archived)

han yolo has a midlife crisis and starts dating someone young enough to be his granddaughter

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:03, archived)

you're thinking of Harrison Ford m8
hahahaha
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:05, archived)

lol!!

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:06, archived)

bit racist

(

mongychops, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:00, archived)

He said he likes him
and he is green.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:01, archived)

I don't think you need to reference colour to describe someone

(

mongychops, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:13, archived)

If he'd just said "the fozzie bear guy" I wouldn't have known who he meant

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:14, archived)

Racist

(

mongychops, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:15, archived)

oh come on now
play the white man will you
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:14, archived)

faggot

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:01, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7870650
(

mongychops, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:14, archived)

where's that from?
There's a band called Anaal Nathrakh; thought it was some Tolkeiny bollocks
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:41, archived)

oh, it's Irishybollocks
I was close
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:46, archived)

Excalibur innit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4I_zbi3Sak
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:46, archived)

Anal snake??

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:42, archived)

they said it couldn't happen, yet here he is proving the h8rrrrs wrong

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 8:46, archived)

sympathy reply

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:15, archived)

I appreciate your support at this difficult time

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 9:21, archived)

Blue cheese on pizza, y/n?

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 21:17, archived)

If you want breath that smells like a 12 month old rotting carcus then yes.

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 21:19, archived)

carcass

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 21:46, archived)

Caucus

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 22:41, archived)

Jamaica?

(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 22:51, archived)

Jakarta?

(

CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 22:55, archived)

cactus

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 23:22, archived)

couscous

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 15 Dec 2015, 0:31, archived)

Nope. No thank you.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Dec 2015, 21:29, archived)

yes of course

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 21:34, archived)

puddi

(

mongychops, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 21:39, archived)

get fucked you CUNT

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 21:46, archived)

upset

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 21:54, archived)

haha no, it's just a little joke between mates.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 22:06, archived)

hahahaha
good one T-dog
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 21:45, archived)

If you're a prick. Yeah.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 22:42, archived)

Barmy American notion
Don't think they know much about food
(

CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 22:43, archived)

They invented corndogs.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 22:44, archived)

and grits

(

CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 22:47, archived)

I always thought they were the worst until I found out about one of the things Canadians managed to concoct
www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6c/Poutine.JPG&imgrefurl=https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poutine&h=2136&w=2500&tbnid=XGtPnzSlxA3iXM:&tbnh=171&tbnw=199&docid=ycUuUhNDMMPFFM&itg=1&usg=__3B2t6TwjMOp55B7GVtAj5YiVR5A=
(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 22:51, archived)

Canadia is the only place on earth where I've been unable to finish breakfast.
The massive fat bastards.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 22:53, archived)

if you had one of these in the summer you could make a great joke about donair summer, ha ha ha
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doner_kebab#Canada
(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 22:56, archived)

gosh I do wish I hadn't started looking for images of this
www.greco.ca/Portals/0/Menu/Donairs/donair.jpg
www.sicilian.ca/images/header-donair.jpg
(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 23:00, archived)

that second one looks like a pair of nightmare slippers

(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 23:00, archived)

:(

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 23:01, archived)

^ this

(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 23:04, archived)

Oh, oh Black Pudding, bambalam

(

CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 23:01, archived)

Oo-oh I feel sick, I feel sick
I feel sick, I feel sick
I feel sick
(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 23:07, archived)

Tush
Breakfast of champions in these parts
(

CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 23:09, archived)

sorry I was still fixed upon the Canadian grimness, black pudding is obviously not a problem

(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 23:17, archived)

Quite right Giorgio

(

CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 23:18, archived)

Disgusting.
A patient gave me a bottle of Glenfiddich today which was nice.
She must have taken the hint from the sick face I did when she gave me a bottle of Famous Grouse last year.
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 23:08, archived)

It's an incentive for keeping em alive

(

CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 23:13, archived)

Glenfiddich is pretty shit tho m8

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 23:14, archived)

Oh boy. I hope we hear some snobbery about peasant booze. That's never ridiculous.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 23:16, archived)

That vodka from Lincolnshire is all right

(

CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 23:24, archived)

dunno why the pizza chef is getting all arsey about peasant stuff

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 23:40, archived)

you sick bastard

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 23:59, archived)

Evening

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Dec 2015, 21:01, archived)

and may all your evenings be white

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 21:13, archived)

I don't think that Dr Fox should ever work in the NHS again!

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 21:14, archived)

HA, that fucking charlatan, so called 'Dr Fox'.
Apparently he isn't even a real fox.
(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 21:18, archived)

haha he was on the paedophile special and now he's being investigated too

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 21:21, archived)

"Hello...Is that Crimewatch?"

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 21:23, archived)

trial by media and ruining someone's life forever is well lol

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 21:25, archived)

no smoke without fire

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 21:58, archived)

think I've got this right, you are the user with the 'comedy paedophile' schtick here, yeah?

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 22:02, archived)

my car's a bit fucked
nevermind eh it's shit and old
(

MONO!, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 14:30, archived)

probably spunk in the air filter

(

$$ ✅, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 14:31, archived)

don't forget to cover it with jam first

(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 16:02, archived)

He didn't state where exactly he fucked his car.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 16:27, archived)

ok

(

mongychops, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 14:32, archived)

I can't remember the exact date "never mind" became one word

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 14:33, archived)

1935

(

MONO!, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 14:34, archived)

~~1935~~ I learnt English from a Nirvana album title

edit: ninja'd, fuck y'all
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 14:40, archived)

no, it was actually 1935

(

MONO!, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 14:43, archived)

noone speak proper english anymore

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 14:38, archived)

how to make them?

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 14:40, archived)

I'm not sure, but this is definitely the best place to do it

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 14:41, archived)

~~definitely~~ definately
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 15:56, archived)

1991
Not I've played it in an age but it's still a great record.
(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 15:10, archived)

oh well, never___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________mind

(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 16:03, archived)

tell me more, tell me more

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 14:43, archived)

oh

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 14:47, archived)

+ you typical honkie

(

$$ ✅, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 14:48, archived)

Buy a new one.
Or buy one a few years old that's somehow a classic or some shite.
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 15:00, archived)

nah

(

MONO!, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 15:01, archived)

I'll just fix this one

(

MONO!, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 15:01, archived)

cause, you know I'm not a fucking useless cunt

(

MONO!, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 15:01, archived)

I most certainly don't know that.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 15:02, archived)

you do get frustrated easily which is a trait of someone with autism

(

$$ ✅, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 15:19, archived)

I do?

(

MONO!, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 15:38, archived)

Spray it with wd40 then hit it with a hammer.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 15:02, archived)

Chapter 27 of "How To Wank"

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 15:04, archived)

I've never managed to make it that far into that book

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 15:05, archived)

Ah, a contents page man, eh?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 15:14, archived)

brace yourself

(

mongychops, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 15:23, archived)

s h
+ ,000
+ war
(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 15:12, archived)

stick a piece of lego up your bum and drool over the manifold

(

$$ ✅, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 15:16, archived)

Chapter 28 of "How To Wank"

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 15:51, archived)

this hot female jailbird might help with the wanking
www.newsshopper.co.uk/resources/images/4552085.jpg
(

mongychops, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 16:12, archived)

Terrible bullying of all the women on OT

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 16:16, archived)

there isn't any women on /ot

(

mongychops, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 16:17, archived)

There isn't anybody at all on OT by the looks of it.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 16:46, archived)

Perhaps the definitive lunch has been chosen

(

mongychops, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 17:50, archived)

eggs and crisps I reckon

(

$$ ✅, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 17:56, archived)

you can lock all your doors
It's the only way to live In cars!
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 16:05, archived)

It's only after reading this that I went back to the top and read it again
I thought it was your cat that was fucked. The read read much better with that interpretation.
(

CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 17:16, archived)

BLOODY BLOODY tablet keyboard

(

CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 17:18, archived)

hey it's ok, I'm back now

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 14:02, archived)

did you have fun ?

(

mongychops, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 14:04, archived)

bought a phone

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 14:19, archived)

I hope it was gold coloured plastic, they are the rolex of phones and will only increase in value

(

mongychops, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 14:21, archived)

it's black coloured plastic
pleb plastic

plebstic
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 14:21, archived)

It's probably still a good investment

(

mongychops, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 14:28, archived)

Some of the prices are mind blowing, real collector stuff
m.ebay.co.uk/sch/Vintage-Phones-/42427/i.html
(

mongychops, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 14:34, archived)

my first ever mobile phone is there
fucking ripoff
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 15:58, archived)

did you leave?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 14:07, archived)

~~did~~ why won't
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 14:13, archived)

altruism
he knows this place would be dead on its arse if he did
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 14:18, archived)

hey how come there wasn't a newsletter this Friday?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 14:14, archived)

Ok, we've been lazy and there's been no
newsletter for 22 weeks, tbh we can't promise
there's going to be one every week either but
today is your lucky day. LUCKY. There's a LOT to
get through so hold tight, we had to dig through
22 weeks of submissions for this. Christ on a
fucking bike, actually we binned most of it on
the basis that you don't want a newsletter about
four miles long.
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 14:17, archived)

no wonder this place has gone to shit, Bob Manual totally lost interest like five years ago

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 14:20, archived)

You mean he's not going to email my poo story to 13 years' worth of subscribers?
How mean.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 14:29, archived)

what plans do you have for the week?
you can't say anything about any religious holidays
(

MONO!, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:00, archived)

well that's hanukkah ruined

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:01, archived)

well it is the last day today

(

$$ ✅, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:02, archived)

I didn't even know it was more than one day
I took the kids to see some play about it last year, so I think it has something to do with a talking piece of bread, but I may have nodded off in the middle of it
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:05, archived)

are you sure you weren't high as fuck

(

$$ ✅, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:10, archived)

he's just a goofy schlemihl is what he is, oy vey

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:14, archived)

I almost certainly was
apparently it was a potato pancake, but it definitely spoke
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:16, archived)

I just did a big shit
I tried to do it without any wee coming out

some wee came out

I feel I have let everyone down
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:49, archived)

alright mgt

(

$$ ✅, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:57, archived)

she's gone, mongychops bullied her away weeks ago

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:59, archived)

we'll need a new mgt to talk about poo with

(

$$ ✅, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 13:00, archived)

tweeb is the new mgt
we covered this earlier
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 13:28, archived)

my one seeing eye ain't so good

(

$$ ✅, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 13:29, archived)

fuck off tweeb

(

mongychops, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 13:29, archived)

:(

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 13:35, archived)

prove it

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 13:14, archived)

wasn't just me
www.b3ta.com/search/talk?q=fuck+off+mgt
(

mongychops, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 13:27, archived)

yeah, she was posting all through November
you're off the hook mongy.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 13:36, archived)

Nothing big, I've got a meeting with a land agent Tuesday,
Midnight showing of Star Wars, nerd, and go and see the horse most evenings.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:02, archived)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRsPheErBj8

(

MONO!, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:03, archived)

I've got to paint two rooms, keep up

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:04, archived)

What colour?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:04, archived)

one room's just going to be blasted with magnolia to try and get rid of the purple
the lime green room will be the nursery, so it'll be some sort of peach.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:06, archived)

peach is a fucking fruit you prick

(

MONO!, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:07, archived)

it's not even a peach coloured fruit

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:08, archived)

APRICOT WHITE THEN, FUCK OFF

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:12, archived)

get fucked
you and your fucking poncy colours
(

MONO!, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:15, archived)

look, it's a colour between orange and pink
what's the name for a color between orange and pink? Barratt's Fruit Salad?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:16, archived)

pinky orange

(

MONO!, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:19, archived)

rikoohala

(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:20, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/7818036
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:22, archived)

glenmorangie

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:25, archived)

yeah, but nectar d'or rather than the original

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:27, archived)

you fucking stupid fat fuck

(

MONO!, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:27, archived)

like you're not going to use that joke and pretend you made it up yourself

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:28, archived)

dozer is going to start a thread with it later

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:29, archived)

dunno who that is, soz

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:30, archived)

purple and lime green

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:06, archived)

look at this happy fella
www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/14129308.___Pet_of_the_Week_Roley___s_here_to_spread_Christmas_cheer/
(

mongychops, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:14, archived)

There are so many reasons why I hated that, I wouldn't even know where to start

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:25, archived)

you joyless turd

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:26, archived)

^assclown

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:31, archived)

woah
keep the profanities to a minimum, please.
(

$$ ✅, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:31, archived)

People who anthropomorphise animals should be held down
while their 'pet' licks its own arse then licks the owners face.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:35, archived)

defo

(

$$ ✅, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:39, archived)

woah
keep the disablist slurs to a minimum, please
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:56, archived)

sorry I can't hear you

(

$$ ✅, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:58, archived)

if that was my cat I'd flush the miserable fucker down the khazi and have done with it

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:25, archived)

i'm not sure it is enjoying the outfit

(

mongychops, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:28, archived)

the joyless turd

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:29, archived)

Poor Jim Palmer, leisure editor

(

$$ ✅, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:28, archived)

i can't believe he is filling such hard hitting copy at 530am

(

mongychops, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:39, archived)

the boss must be a wanker to work for

(

$$ ✅, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:42, archived)

Probably working from a beach on Ko Samui

(

fuscous, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 13:01, archived)

it's mr meow-meow present paws!

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:32, archived)

>:-3 yay

(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 16:10, archived)

might kick a cow right in the fucking udders

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:16, archived)

Hoping that I get accepted for voluntary redundancy at the moment.

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:18, archived)

~~redundancy~~ extermination
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:33, archived)

~~ccepted for voluntary redundancy at the moment.~~ rrested.
(

$$ ✅, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 13:03, archived)

Tell them about all the cat 4 child porn you have on the company servers
that should get HR up off their arses
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 13:20, archived)

School nativity plays.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 13:03, archived)

Paedo

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Dec 2015, 13:05, archived)

fucking pervert

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 13:16, archived)

I've often wondered how schools are born

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 13:24, archived)

Has anyone here done anything remotely interesting in the last 72 hours
so that we've got something to talk about.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 11:49, archived)

now if ever a thread had 'will only get two replies, tops' written all over it...

(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 11:52, archived)

tell you what, three coats of Brilliant White brushed on
and the previous owner's purple paint is still showing through. What sort of cunt paints a room purple?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 11:53, archived)

The same sort of twats that paint a 4.3m-tall room lime green
so that I can't reach the top bit even with my biggest stepladder, that's who.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 11:54, archived)

hth
prince.org/msg/7/298790
(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 11:55, archived)

by the way, yes, it is that film

(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 11:57, archived)

what do you think of that film grrrmachine, do you like it?
I dare you
(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 11:58, archived)

yes, I particularly enjoyed that one
I'm not sure I could go back and rewatch it now because it's very slow and the effects probably look a bit clunky, but I really like the Chris Foss/Syd Mead era of spaceship designs.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:03, archived)

whoah, bookmarking this

(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 12:11, archived)

Glenmorangie is clearly the best

(

MONO!, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:24, archived)

Rhymes with Orangey

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:26, archived)

I don't think it does
or I am mispronouncing one of them
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:35, archived)

I dunno. It was always an argument at one pub I worked in.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:36, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5ZwgGB1Lr4
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:38, archived)

scotch prick

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:40, archived)

sausage-fingered hamplanet

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:41, archived)

anyway, I pronounce orangey as oh-RAN-gee

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:43, archived)

But can you give Glenmorangie to crows?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:57, archived)

well you can, but they lack the palate sophistication to really enjoy it

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 11:04, archived)

I dunno man, I gave whisky to a crow once
and he's been raven on about it ever since
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 11:05, archived)

blackbirds prefer that cristal stuff, apparently

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 11:09, archived)

you can't beat quaffing a bit of nevermoor

(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 11:20, archived)

it's pronounced nev-erm-our, like our and hour, you thicko

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 11:25, archived)

I've never heard it said before
in such a fashion, are you shore?
I thought that it should rhyme with poor
and flaw and score and whore and chore
Not our or hour, or sour or flour
your language smarts just make me cower
it's why you're paid so much per hour
and live in a very tall ivory tower*

*pronounced 'tour'
(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 11:35, archived)

^ doesn't even LIKE lololol

(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:43, archived)

I just wish I could convince everyone round to my way of thinking
wololol
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 11:06, archived)

:)

(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 11:19, archived)

What a laugh riot that place must have been.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:38, archived)

oh
according to proud Scot and esteemed actor Brian Cox, I'm wrong
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:40, archived)

I was right, you were wrong. This is what you get for supporting spousal abuse

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:49, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/7873668
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:57, archived)

~~This is what you get for supporting spousal abuse~~ i'm going to sing the 'i was right' song
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 11:03, archived)

to be fair tuibs, to be fair
I've been saying it the same way as you all this time, and I'm not sure I'm ever going to change. I'm probably saying auchentoshan wrong too, but fuck it, yolo.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:52, archived)

I've never let the Scots dictate the way I speak English before and I'm not about to start now

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:57, archived)

it's pronounced 'yolo', ma8

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 11:03, archived)

I make it rhyme with yoyo
and there's nothing you can do about it
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 11:04, archived)

alcohol is for weaklings
/ac
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:26, archived)

the best at what?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:26, archived)

he's a footballer I think lol

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:29, archived)

that's your second lol of the day, you're allowed one more then you have to go and post somewhere else

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:32, archived)

^ only allowed lolol

(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:42, archived)

I'll give that a whirl later, cheers

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:43, archived)

lol

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:48, archived)

I would like to cite Aethelfrith's Law of lololol and point out that this is your final permitted lol for today being your second so far posted and therefore any further uses of lol will necessitate your logging out and posting elsewhere

(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:51, archived)

I'd better sign up for 4chan

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:54, archived)

britain has become so radicalised that one of the uk's most respected actors is 'syrian mckellen'

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 11:10, archived)

quite

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 11:39, archived)

do you get it?

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 11:49, archived)

oh great

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:27, archived)

If you don't like a user, you can ignore them.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:28, archived)

haha

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:28, archived)

~~haha~~ lol
(

$$ ✅, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:33, archived)

Lololol

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:36, archived)

^ allowed lololol

(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:42, archived)

lulz0rs

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:48, archived)

but then all i'd see is vladimir threads :(

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 11:05, archived)

:’-D
(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 11:24, archived)

k

(

$$ ✅, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:28, archived)

dunno who that is

(

mongychops, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:45, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/7873649
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:48, archived)

^ allowed mololol

(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:48, archived)

it's the one you'd shoplift if you could reach the shelf above the Aldi whisky

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 11:00, archived)

I don't like whiskey

(

mongychops, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 11:21, archived)

well that's because you're not a drunken scotchman

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 11:38, archived)

so yeah
it's Monday

lol
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 9:49, archived)

I had to do quite a bit of plastering in the end

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 9:51, archived)

Did you fill your crack?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 9:54, archived)

I don't know if you realise this m8
but 'crack' can also mean anus or vagina. You might have made a bit of a faux pas there.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 9:55, archived)

OHH EMM GEE!
Awkward!
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 9:58, archived)

But if you're *here*, that means....
uh oh!
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 9:59, archived)

It's about now that the laugh track should kick in.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:00, archived)

*waits*
*looks at watch*
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:00, archived)

b3ta dot com forward slash talk is typed in front of a live studio audience

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:01, archived)

^ talk's very own Ralph Malph

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:04, archived)

~~Malph~~ Wiggum
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:06, archived)

^ talk's very own Al Delvecchio

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:10, archived)

i ate my browser cookies

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:14, archived)

this is good
I like this
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:17, archived)

Starting a thread on /talk today takes everything you've got
Sometimes you wanna go where everybody thinks you're shi-i-it
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:04, archived)

and it'll never be worth ii-i-it

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:15, archived)

~~live studio~~ dying
(

$$ ✅, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:08, archived)

:’-(
(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:32, archived)

is that the film with the three little robots playing poker?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 11:08, archived)

I wouldn't say that
but my face took a right old splattering, if you know what I mean
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:02, archived)

Ooh-err!

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:05, archived)

it took ages to get out of my hair
but at least I didn't swallow any
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:08, archived)

Bona!

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:12, archived)

i've got a bona right now!

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:15, archived)

Must you be so crude, manolith?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:17, archived)

He's disgusting
and he wonders why no girls come here anymore
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:18, archived)

mgt was the last bastion of forum femininity
well, apart from tweeb
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:21, archived)

does this mean I have to start talking about my poos?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:22, archived)

well they're not going to talk about themselves!

or are they?
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:23, archived)

Let's talk about shit, baby.
Let's talk about poo and wee.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:25, archived)

isn't this priapists anonymous?

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:18, archived)

That's a members only club.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:27, archived)

lol

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 9:52, archived)

it's not that funny, get a grip will you, fuck's sake

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:02, archived)

I should pull myself together really

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:08, archived)

Pull your trousers on, at least.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:18, archived)

And hids *these* legs?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:19, archived)

Yes

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Dec 2015, 9:54, archived)

hey babe

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 9:59, archived)

Alright my love

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:00, archived)

we won't go until we get some
we won't go until we get some
we won't go until we get some
so bring it right here
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 9:56, archived)

no football chants pls

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 9:57, archived)

OOOOOOOO'S THE WANKER IN THE STRIPES

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:00, archived)

woah

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:00, archived)

took a chance that you might be wearing something with stripes today

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:01, archived)

HA, SUSSED
I'm wearing a Jason Voorhess t-shirt and a smile
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:05, archived)

Nerd

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:09, archived)

Yesterday it was Bela Lugosi

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:09, archived)

There's a fat bald bloke that drinks in my local that has a collection of offensive and pornographic tshirts.
Everyone thinks he's a prick
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:11, archived)

None of mine are offensive
I draw the line at something children shouldn't see. Not counting my face, obvs.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:14, archived)

What's wrong with a nice plain tshirt?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:23, archived)

it's a fat bald prick thing

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:24, archived)

I prefer something that draws the eye away from
well y'know...everything else
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:24, archived)

fine, I'll drink somewhere else

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:15, archived)

bullshit
there's no way you're smiling
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:16, archived)

I definitely felt a muscle in my left cheek twitch
It might have been wind though
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:17, archived)

I think it's wind
have you got wind again, TH?
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:18, archived)

:Đ

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:19, archived)

and I stand by it

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:20, archived)

99% of people aren't brave enough to share this

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:21, archived)

You should hear my thoughts on global warming

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:24, archived)

easy for you to say

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:20, archived)

I don't like mondays, said someone once.
I'm so tired.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 9:57, archived)

Brenda Spencer
and the other one was John Lennon
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 9:59, archived)

I thought it was Garfield
John Lennon's mistake was having another cigarette. Should've had an ovaltine or summat.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:00, archived)

Someone told me recently that John Lennon was a right prick

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:01, archived)

ringo was the talented one, anyway

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:02, archived)

Oh he really was
He used to beat up Cynthia, then sympathised with the IRA. Not because he understood what the IRA stood for (he wasn't terribly smart) but just because he was anti-establishment. He was, as the kids say these days, a right cunt.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:03, archived)

to be fair though, Cynthia did need a fucking slap

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:04, archived)

I must admit, I'm thinking about punching her right now

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:05, archived)

I'll hold her, you hit her, we'll swap when your hands start hurting

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:06, archived)

I reckon if my parents abandoned me as a child and then my mother died when I was 17 and then I became world famous in my early 20s I'd be a right prick and all

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:06, archived)

well, more of a stupid prick

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:06, archived)

Well maybe

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:07, archived)

I don't see why having a hard time is an excuse for beating up your wife.
That's like me saying my hamster dying when i was young is the reason I eat meat.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:10, archived)

I'm inclined to agree

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:11, archived)

Tangles is a woman beater sympathiser
A wobeatathiser if you will.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:12, archived)

Oh, I will
You can count on it
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:13, archived)

it wasn't so bad that she didn't change her name back to Lennon after he was dead and then spend the remainder of her life cashing in on it

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:23, archived)

OK, so it's fine to hit people as long they can cash in on your fame after you're dead.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:27, archived)

don't make me hit you

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:36, archived)

haha, like anyone needs an excuse to beat his wife

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:12, archived)

You have a wife or partner Frank?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:13, archived)

He lives with a priest

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:15, archived)

see, this is information I don't tell the internet

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:16, archived)

he sure does
www.google.co.uk/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=don+cheadle+partner
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:22, archived)

do you really think a single man would care so much about new coffee tables?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:35, archived)

There's a difference between excusing something, and understanding the reasons behind it.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:16, archived)

Wobeatathiser^

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:17, archived)

Wob3tathiser?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:23, archived)

that's even worse!

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:27, archived)

No

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:27, archived)

what happened to the hamster?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:17, archived)

Old age I think. I dunno, I'm not a vet. Might have been the cat pushing his cage off the table. Who knows.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:18, archived)

you might want to consider giving lady pig a little slap then

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:21, archived)

such a stupid get

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:03, archived)

Walter Raleigh?

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:05, archived)

no thanks I've just put one out

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:07, archived)

you want to try one of those e-Walter Raleighs

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:09, archived)

    🌟
    lol
   lolol
  lololol
 lolololol
lololololol
    lol

(

$$ ✅, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:03, archived)

$$ ✅, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:05, archived)

Star is a bit on the wonk

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:13, archived)

It's a thinly veiled insult to the state of Israel

(

$$ ✅, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:17, archived)

this is the smartest thing I've ever seen

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 10:21, archived)

morning

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 7:17, archived)

knockers

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 7:45, archived)

now there's something I can support

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 8:03, archived)

you are a bra
aicmfp
(

MONO!, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 8:05, archived)

/thatsthejoke

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 8:17, archived)

give me my fucking five pounds you cunt

(

MONO!, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 8:35, archived)

take it up with mark and/or lard
not my fucking problem
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 8:38, archived)

I have no idea what you're talking about

(

MONO!, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 8:41, archived)

morning

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Dec 2015, 7:59, archived)

how's tricks?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 8:04, archived)

Tickity boo

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Dec 2015, 9:04, archived)

morning.
Where's all the comedy christmas accounts this year then? It's almost as if nobody can be bothered any more.
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 8:00, archived)

there's nothing fun about Christmas

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 8:03, archived)

Do you remember the moment at which the gloomy misanthrope persona leaked from the internet into your real life?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 8:07, archived)

I'm not sure why you ever thought it was a persona

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 8:13, archived)

Nobody is born that shit.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 8:17, archived)

yeah, it takes years of hard work to reach your sort of level
keep at it though
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 8:26, archived)

Did you just do an "I know you are but what am I" in public?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 8:38, archived)

^ can't do any better

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 8:41, archived)

this is the worst slappy internet bitch fight ever

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 8:44, archived)

You're just jealous of our sick b-boy moves and smooth rhymes.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 8:46, archived)

i.imgur.com/FMY6Q54.gif
(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 8:50, archived)

*adds a surprise item to The List*

(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 8:09, archived)

duck fuck

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 8:19, archived)

mmmmmm cloaca

(blah di blah di blah blah, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 8:24, archived)

just found a fantastic unexpected goatse
www.blueprintforstyle.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Loro-Piana-cashmere.jpg
(

vladimir, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 8:25, archived)

ok, I'll do this five more times, then you're on your own until January

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 8:45, archived)

finally, something to look forward to

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 8:55, archived)

you know it's true, everything I do, I do it for you

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 9:05, archived)

that song's shit, so I'm going to sing Queen's "Driven by you" instead
hth
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 9:45, archived)

well that sure remedied that problem

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 9:55, archived)

Nacos y/n

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sun 13 Dec 2015, 22:27, archived)

Please stop distributing images of children on these boards
I've reported you to CEOPS you vile nonce
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 14 Dec 2015, 0:28, archived)

sian williams y/n

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 13 Dec 2015, 20:52, archived)

Can't you even wring out a wank without internet validation?

(blah di blah di blah blah, Sun 13 Dec 2015, 20:55, archived)

it was just a question mate, no need to get the hump, online

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 13 Dec 2015, 20:58, archived)

woah, sounds like someone's forgotten the last thread already

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 13 Dec 2015, 22:18, archived)

who do you reckon would win if Bananarama had a fight with Belle Stars?

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 13 Dec 2015, 18:43, archived)

the terrorists

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Sun 13 Dec 2015, 18:46, archived)

Dunno but the 13 year old me would have wanked himself to a frayed stump.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Sun 13 Dec 2015, 18:48, archived)

careful now

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 13 Dec 2015, 18:50, archived)

I'm just saying can you picture a virile but naïve adolescent pumping angrily at his wang under a cushion while watching Top of the Pops?
I'm probably wearing Kappa or Ellesse. Can you smell that sweaty polyester?
(blah di blah di blah blah, Sun 13 Dec 2015, 18:53, archived)

Bow Wow Wow or gtfo

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 13 Dec 2015, 18:55, archived)

Great. Now I'm wanking to a thirteen year old who's wanking to another thirteen year old.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Sun 13 Dec 2015, 18:56, archived)

Whoah, like well meta, man.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 13 Dec 2015, 19:02, archived)

steady on
manolith is watching
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 13 Dec 2015, 19:03, archived)

Great. Now I'm wanking to a thirty year old virgin who's wanking into a dog.

(blah di blah di blah blah, Sun 13 Dec 2015, 19:08, archived)

hope springs eternal in the human trousers
(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sun 13 Dec 2015, 19:10, archived)

Shambles is a nonce

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sun 13 Dec 2015, 22:27, archived)

Fuck off, nonce

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sun 13 Dec 2015, 22:28, archived)

Lydia Lunch

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 13 Dec 2015, 19:03, archived)

not sure

(

$$ ✅, Sun 13 Dec 2015, 20:03, archived)

the one with the best tits

(

$$ ✅, Sun 13 Dec 2015, 20:10, archived)

Lexi Belle?

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 13 Dec 2015, 20:24, archived)

phwoar! knockers!

(

$$ ✅, Sun 13 Dec 2015, 20:27, archived)

I KNOW RIGHT

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 13 Dec 2015, 20:37, archived)

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