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I have just been sent this gem
excellent
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 18:33, archived)

I'm not clicking on that!

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 18:34, archived)

www.buzzfeed.com/scottybryan/weird-letters-printed-on-the-suns-dear-deidre-page?utm_term=.ya6kwdyXw9#.chvEd8YGdZ
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 18:40, archived)

Although my link is to Imgur and not buzzfeed

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spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 18:45, archived)

It's journalism at it's finest.

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 19:08, archived)

RIP The Internet

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 20:14, archived)

How is your aids doing?

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 21:31, archived)

I am well and truly on the mend. Spent 5 days in hospital.
Got all my test results back, this will mean more to you than me but when I was admitted I had a white blood cell count of 20 and an infection score (CRP?) of 74 the day after 147 and then the day they let me home 52.
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spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 21:37, archived)

20 eh,
that's a lot of cells
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 23:31, archived)

in his whole body?

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 23:38, archived)

people shouldn't be sick or ill
get well
(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 23:37, archived)

Cheers
I am home from the hospital now. Antibiotics seem to be doing the trick after lots of antibiotics intravenously
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 23:46, archived)

Afternoon thread for cool cats and happening folk.
What's the most ridiculous argument you've witnessed or been a part of? Excluding internet beakering.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:15, archived)

I had an argument with a friend over how you should eat Pozza.
This is after I watched him cut it into slices with a pizza sliver and then proceed to eat it with a knife and fork.

I couldn't understand why he would cut it into slices in the first place only to eat it with a knife and fork.
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:30, archived)

It reminded him of his victims

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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:10, archived)

More recently at the hospital I witnessed two consultants arguing over whether I needed a HIV test or not.
That was loads of fun.
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:31, archived)

I once argued in favour of History being dropped from the school curriculum.
I really only did this to annoy my other half, what with her being (at the time) a history teacher.
But then, I'm a nob.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:37, archived)

Looking at the way things are going, it wouldn't make much difference would it?

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Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:41, archived)

Stop sending children to school - they can learn all they need from reading The Sun.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:42, archived)

We don't need to know the events that led up to WWII, only that we won.

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Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:44, archived)

Kayleigh, 18, from Bristol says "Nicola Sturgeon calling a new referendum is an insult to our brave boys who fought Hitler"

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:49, archived)

That Back to the Future 3 is as good as 1 and 2
Which is plainly horse shit.
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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:38, archived)

Horse shit?
I hate horse shit!
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:40, archived)

That's because you're yella'

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Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:41, archived)

horses!! i'd forgotten i put a load of bets on cheltenham today

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mongychops, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:41, archived)

I've had a few good wins on the gold over the years.
Used to take the day off and go on a pissup with the lads but I couldn't go last year and I didn't miss it so this year I can't be fucked.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:43, archived)

i've got to take it easy tomorrow as i've been placed under manners by the ex wife, fuck it tho it's paddys

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mongychops, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:50, archived)

Do you have the kids on the saturday or something?

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Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:51, archived)

friday night i pick them up, it's a ballache

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mongychops, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:53, archived)

gutted

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Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:54, archived)

i'll just pace myself, 12 pints of guinness over the day will see me right

(

mongychops, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:57, archived)

11am - 11pm
Should "technically" be 24 pints, but I can understand your restraint
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:04, archived)

i have to get them at 7pm

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mongychops, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:05, archived)

Can't they get a bus or something?
FFS - PARENTING SKILLS
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:08, archived)

they only live round the corner, but its a sort of thing now that i go get them

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mongychops, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:12, archived)

but Guinness

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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:12, archived)

as long as i've got a shit foam hat for everyone by 7 i'll be happy

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mongychops, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:23, archived)

Its 4 pints per shit hat, so thats at least 12 before 7pm

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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:26, archived)

no problem at all

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mongychops, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:26, archived)

she can't tell you what to do any more

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:53, archived)

but she might make me have the kids more if i upset her

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mongychops, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:57, archived)

the argument between myself and my then-boyfriend
at 3a.m in the local park, as to whether or not he should get out of the fucking tree he'd been sat in for half an hour
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:38, archived)

Did you try and tempt him down with sex or a biscuit?
That could have knocked 27 minutes off of that.
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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:40, archived)

All I took from that was 'sex biscuit'

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:41, archived)

on offer at Tescos

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$$ ✅, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:42, archived)

good, I can get a packet of sex biscuits AND get the clubcard points

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:43, archived)

"Soggy biscuit"

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spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:43, archived)

Tom Jones dietary failing followupzzzzzzzz

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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:54, archived)

i was annoyed, he knew sex was not going to be on offer
and i don't tend to buy biscuits
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:45, archived)

Should've set fire to it. That'd have got him out.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:42, archived)

we were both very stoned, i doubt i'd have had the coordination

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:47, archived)

when somebody said that batman wasn't the best superhero, what a prick

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mongychops, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:40, archived)

Batman isn't a superhero, he's a costumed adventurer.
Do you want my lunch money now, or after I've had my head flushed?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:44, archived)

Oh, monster munch

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:47, archived)

lunch money? i assumed you were on free school meal tokens

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mongychops, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:52, archived)

That's because it's Rorschach.

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Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:46, archived)

Oh, so what's Iron Man? Chopped liver??

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:48, archived)

all these kids know how to do these days is troll, not worth talking to them

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mongychops, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:52, archived)

he's not
he is a highly disturbed individual with the money to vent his frustrations under the guise of a masked vigilante in a slightly gay skin-tight black leather/rubber suit.
also, his best mate is a doddery old servant.
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:53, archived)

but he wears a cape
how do you explain THAT?
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:55, archived)

the cape shrouds him, like a cloth hug
replacing the loving arms of the mother he saw murdered
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:57, archived)

no, I'm not having that
if he hasn't got a mum, who's aunt harriet?
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:59, archived)

a cunt. aunt harriet is a cunt.

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:06, archived)

:O

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:08, archived)

and he has a bat cave where all the bats live

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mongychops, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:58, archived)

he doesn't HAVE a cave, he just found one and moved in

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:00, archived)

Nah, the batman I've seen definitely had a cave

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:03, archived)

he chucked a rock and the cave sprung up

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mongychops, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:04, archived)

wow
how do they dream these stories up, eh? Takes a special sort of mind, I reckon.
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:05, archived)

that fella stanley leestan who writes them is a genius

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mongychops, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:06, archived)

It was his cave though

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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:05, archived)

only because he's rich and owns the land
if he hadn't had money and servants, he'd have been torturing small animals by the age of 14
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:08, archived)

You know he's not real right?

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:17, archived)

of course
but in my psychology course we had to choose fictional person to analyse. i chose bruce wayne as the character had the potential to be a full-on serial killer
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:21, archived)

You've giving too much thought to a kids comic book.

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:41, archived)

Kid's graphic novel, m8

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:43, archived)

Oh, yeah.

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:53, archived)

i know, i know
i smoked a lot more weed back then and got deep into any and all stupid conversations. got a B in Psychology, though.
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:45, archived)

dunno

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:42, archived)

I honestly don't know

(

$$ ✅, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:43, archived)

Every time I remember a ridiculous argument
I then remember that I read it here
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:44, archived)

no you didn't, liar
/ac
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manolith hooray for me, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:56, archived)

big nunny lols
www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/family/mum-mortified-after-sons-drawing-10037077?ICID=ref_fark
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Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:57, archived)

newsworthy

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:59, archived)

You're just jealous they haven't printed a similar article about your willy, despite all the pictures in crayon you sent in.

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Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:00, archived)

First of all, they AREN'T crayons; they're caran d'ache pencils
Second, when one has a talent, one should share it with the world
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:02, archived)

A sentiment the passengers of the number 20 bus didn't seem to share.

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Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:07, archived)

I have nothing.

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:14, archived)

Wait, there's a genuine batman discussion in this thread, so that's the stupidest thing I've witnessed in a while.

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:15, archived)

Yeah but it's disqualified on account of being internet beakering and that.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:18, archived)

+ penis
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 15:29, archived)

Two Hats
arrows
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$$ ✅, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 16:01, archived)

Come on, I thought we'd agreed to disagree

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 16:02, archived)

I didn't agree to that

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$$ ✅, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 16:03, archived)

come on guys
you need to work together as a team otherwise you're going nowhere in the next doubles tournament
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 16:12, archived)

you're right
he's right
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 16:27, archived)

I don't want to read my post history to check

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 16:23, archived)

I did have a good one with my brother though
about tying up a canal barge. Apparently it was my fault the water was flowing "in the wrong direction."
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 16:26, archived)

I worked at a boatyard as a teenager. It's amazing how they just let any old idiot loose with a fucking great barge.
I wouldn't let half of them use an electric razor.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 16:30, archived)

Hi huns!! (not you, Atilla)
I'm really enjoying the tv series "How To Get away With Murder" at the minute, and the other night I watched that Logan film, which was also very enjoyable.

What new things have you discovered lately?

I didn't sleep well at all last night, so today's productivity at work will be minimal. Keep me entertained.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 10:40, archived)

'Logan' was brill.
Last night I saw a one-man show at the local comedy theatre and roffled mightily.
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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 10:44, archived)

It was the Wolverine film we all deserved.
X-23 was ace!
I just hope he also does a turn in Deadpool.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 10:52, archived)

He's already been namechecked in the first one so a little cameo would be perfect.

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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:12, archived)

He was snapped meeting Ryan Reynolds (and Pearce Brosnan)

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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:17, archived)

No Country for Old Mutants

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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:33, archived)

vg

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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 12:50, archived)

Old age of apocalypse

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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 13:15, archived)

the dark phoenix saga holiday

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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 13:22, archived)

^ doesn't know what a quality film is
Logan is absolutely Fucking shite
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spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 13:06, archived)

No m8.
It's actually really good. Once those massive drugs wear off you'll see the error of your ways.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:01, archived)

Nah. It's totally shite.
And I haven't even seen it yet
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spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:13, archived)

He's a card, int he?

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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:13, archived)

Hey fucked four eyes

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spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 16:09, archived)

With my bonus I treated myself to one of those 20 peg airers, to make my laundry duties slightly easier
I'll be killing myself before the end of the week
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 10:47, archived)

I bought 20 pairs of socks and one of those.
The astute amongst you may spot the maths fail there.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 10:50, archived)

You could probably get away with hanging each pair on one peg
or you could join me in laundry-induced suicide
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 10:51, archived)

I just bought a knife sharpener in Aldi for £3
I love them bargain bins.
Their wine is pretty decent too.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 10:51, archived)

*convoluted strikethrough implying you like getting pegged, possibly 20 times. i dunno, i'm tired*

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 10:57, archived)

I appreciate the thought

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:11, archived)

I discovered a fuck you.

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Mar 2017, 10:51, archived)

Aw hun...
snap out of it!
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 10:52, archived)

a wild one?
did you catch it?
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 10:59, archived)

Yes

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:04, archived)

jabroni

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:12, archived)

i played that titanfall 2 the other day and enjoyed it more than i usually do with first person shooters

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manolith hooray for me, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 10:58, archived)

I'm loving Uncharted 4, it's jolly good fun

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:12, archived)

yer, i think we're near the end of that now.
none of it seems familiar after a certain point so i suspect we never actually finished it
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manolith hooray for me, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:17, archived)

i don't understand tag heuers latest smart watch at all

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mongychops, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:00, archived)

I don't understand those Italian divers ones that cost 4 grand.
Silly money
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:07, archived)

nah for the money you want swiss made, i have had a few panerai and got rid of all but one luminor that i never wear, that might go soon

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mongychops, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:12, archived)

Maybe you should switch to Tag Heuer's latest dumb watch.

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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:12, archived)

oh i won't buy their shit, but i don't understand the concept, you buy a smart watch for 2k, but also like a mechanical watch so by another head for 2k,i suppose it will help in the fact when the software is obsolete you can still keep one bit, won't sell

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mongychops, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:15, archived)

+ are we led it off the road.

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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:16, archived)

I watched the first episode of Bojack Horseman, last night.
It was as shit as I thought it would be, but not necessarily for the reasons I thought it would.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:03, archived)

I could't get into that at all.
Schitts Creek is hilarious.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:07, archived)

Sneaky Pete is alright, I thought.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:12, archived)

I don't do Amazon prime.

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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:38, archived)

I thought it was great.
Not sold by Pacific Heat though.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:11, archived)

The screenshots that come up on Google make it look exactly like Archer,
so I'll be giving that a wide berth.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:31, archived)

I thought Archer was quite good.
The pre-watershed trailers for it on some digital channel made it look awful though.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 12:00, archived)

I've never watched it,
but the Wikipedia page says that the first season is generally reckoned to be shit, and that it picks up after that.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:14, archived)

That's more effort than I'm prepared to invest in light entertainment.
Dunno how reliable the Netflix hivemind is, but I'm going to assume its 2 star rating is deserved, and move on.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:30, archived)

Netflix nerd alert klaxon
MST3K classic episodes are now on Netflix before they release new ones.
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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:35, archived)

I'm only dimly aware of what that is.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:37, archived)

~~only~~ ~~aware of that is.~~
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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:43, archived)

The dwarf from LotR?

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 13:24, archived)

My Sister's Tits in less-than-ultra high definition, I think

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:39, archived)

Close
So close
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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:46, archived)

nothing
it's all been done before
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:14, archived)

Philanderer!

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:18, archived)

even... this?!
*does a thing*
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:19, archived)

No, but it's just a modern take on this
*does older, but similar thing*
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:21, archived)

Like a threesome with your mum and your nan.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:23, archived)

This is lazy, Windy
even for you
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:44, archived)

I'm lazy? Pot, kettle mate.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Mar 2017, 12:13, archived)

So lazy

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 12:15, archived)

22 years
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 12:45, archived)

I want that life

(

$$ ✅, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 12:49, archived)

Saw Kong Tuesday
Thoroughly enjoyable army v animal war movie with a side order of Samuel L Jackson ham.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:33, archived)

Morning
24 Legacy is so far quite enjoyable. Also Hacksaw Ridge, if you can skip over the first 3/4 of an hour and get to the battle is fucking brilliant
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:37, archived)

not sure

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$$ ✅, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 11:57, archived)

What about that thing from the other day that made you smile?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Mar 2017, 12:13, archived)

It's gone

(

$$ ✅, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 12:24, archived)

I slept brilliantly
I am now out of hospital but on lots of lovely drugs
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 13:07, archived)

Are they MASSIVE?

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 13:47, archived)

The antibiotics are rather large.

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 14:14, archived)

morning

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 7:20, archived)

Morning all
Hangovers are well shit
(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 7:22, archived)

you can avoid them by not wasting your limited existence chasing alcoholic oblivion

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 7:31, archived)

Whoa

(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 7:40, archived)

Morning.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Mar 2017, 7:24, archived)

alright Windo

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 7:31, archived)

No.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Mar 2017, 7:53, archived)

u ok hun?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 7:56, archived)

I'm back at work. But I don't feel great.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Mar 2017, 8:10, archived)

the rest of your bike parts should be here today
if that cheers you up
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 8:16, archived)

Ooh, that has cheered me up.
I went out on it yesterday for a bit, running pretty well all things considered.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Mar 2017, 8:22, archived)

Morning.
I have nothing further to add, at this time.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 7:28, archived)

NO FURTHER QUESTIONS

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 7:32, archived)

Morning morning Thursday yeah

(

broadsword w⚓, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 8:11, archived)

today can do one tbh

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 8:16, archived)

Morning.
Reckon I must have slept with my mouth open or sutin; my tongue feels as big as a whale's schlong and it hurts to swallow.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 8:14, archived)

are your knees weak?
are your arms heavy?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 8:22, archived)

No, and I didn't even have mom's spaghetti last night.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 8:23, archived)

pass

(

$$ ✅, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 8:40, archived)

morning, mr reg chinar

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 8:41, archived)

alright, undulating plebe

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 9:03, archived)

Surly
Feeling surly today
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 8:46, archived)

strikethrough the s and replaced with a g indicating you're feeling gurly
lol
(

$$ ✅, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 8:49, archived)

lol

(

broadsword w⚓, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 8:50, archived)

Bookmarking this so I can lol later
When I'm less surly
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 8:51, archived)

frinkiac.com/gif/S04E13/936001/940589.gif?b64lines=CiBUSEVSRSdTIFNVUkxZ
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 8:55, archived)

^

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 8:56, archived)

24 years

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 9:16, archived)

that's a shame

(

$$ ✅, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 9:17, archived)

just making sure we don't use any from 'the unfunny years'
what's good is that every year, a whole new series of the show becomes funny again!
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 9:40, archived)

I'm sealing the vault now so nothing can escape

(

$$ ✅, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 9:41, archived)

always seal until nothing escapes

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 9:43, archived)

My boss has now spent a solid hour this morning talking to her mum about her kids.
Kill me now.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 9:08, archived)

I don't know why you can't just get on with your job and stop getting your nose in everyones business

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Mar 2017, 9:11, archived)

Someone should invent that "cone of silence" from Dune.
Or, you know, close their office door when making personal calls.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 9:14, archived)

It's going to have to be the cone of silence.
Open-plan offices are a very effective antidote to productivity.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 9:18, archived)

They really are.
Even my bored offspring and his Spongebob marathon was less distracting than the usual background office noise.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 9:20, archived)

Maybe you could stop listening in to her conversations and mind your own business?

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 9:14, archived)

Oooh, handbags at dawn!

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 9:23, archived)

You could always take the passive-aggressive approach
and make a few loud, personal phone calls of your own
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 9:25, archived)

That is the appropriate countermeasure.
I never phone anyone unless I absolutely cannot avoid it, though, so the friend or family member I called would instantly be suspicious.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 9:29, archived)

have sex with her

(

$$ ✅, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 9:26, archived)

What, on the desk, in front of her mum, assertion-of-dominance style?
Yer, alright.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 9:29, archived)

They love it up 'em

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Mar 2017, 9:29, archived)

Upside: she is reasonably fit.
Downside: may result in more children and thus more talk about children.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 9:32, archived)

have sex with her and then kill her

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 9:48, archived)

Plod might not like that.
I should turn up tomorrow wearing one of those Thai t-shirts saying "UP THE BUM NO BABIES" and see if she takes the hint.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 9:53, archived)

alt: have protected sex with her and don't kill her

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 9:55, archived)

Oh *looks mildly disheartened*
I was hoping for a bit of bumsex but that's really quite a nice idea.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 9:57, archived)

This is assuming that you hate your job because it will inevitably all go south very quickly.

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 10:09, archived)

Hmm...true.
I probably shouldn't wear that t-shirt after all, if I'm being reasonable.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 10:10, archived)

I wish my wife would!
Eh, lads! Know what I mean?! Lads?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 10:23, archived)

She went west instead?
By which I mean "walked out and turned homosexual".
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 10:26, archived)

^ tggi

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 10:29, archived)

At least she's not in a glass meeting room talking with her boss for the last hour
and they both keep looking over at you and frowning
(

fuscous, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 9:39, archived)

Lol, gutted.
I'm sure those goldfish-bowl meeting rooms are only there to intimidate the underlings.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 9:50, archived)

There is that.
Because that would be much worse, psychologically, if it were actually happening.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 10:02, archived)

Probably don't like your new hair cut.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Mar 2017, 10:03, archived)

Might be best to leave the "comedy" tie at home from now on

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 10:19, archived)

who wears ties these days?

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 10:31, archived)

"This government", right kids?

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 16 Mar 2017, 10:45, archived)

Evening prick thread.
Whatchu up 2 losers
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 18:30, archived)

I am looking at B3ta on my computer.
I wanted to spend the afternoon in the garden enjoying the sunshine but it's race week and all those horsefucking cunt pricks in their helicopters have ruined it. It's like fucking Apocalypse Now out there.
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 18:55, archived)

I have stupid family in stupid Cheltenham. They hate it.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Mar 2017, 19:13, archived)

Cheltenham really is stupid

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 22:55, archived)

netflix and chill, but without netflix
or anyone else
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 18:55, archived)

So wanking then?
Are you saying you're actually wanking whilst posting on b3ta?
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 18:57, archived)

Aren't we all ?

(

mongychops, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 19:06, archived)

I'm having a day off, it'll make tomorrow's so much better

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 20:13, archived)

Xfiles

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Mar 2017, 19:13, archived)

Been streetwalking,
and am now scratching the bitch.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 19:50, archived)

Stop sexually assaulting those dogs

(

mongychops, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 20:07, archived)

But they're gagging for it!
Despite the dog having no balls, and the bitch having been spayed, the former keeps on mounting the latter. He'll occasionally try both ends. Stupid animals.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 20:29, archived)

Just seen PTSDee, lol.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 21:54, archived)

I ain't saying shit until I have a lawyer

(

$$ ✅, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 20:11, archived)

not a lot,
got out of work late, just had my soup.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 21:57, archived)

what's your flava

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 22:49, archived)

vegetable

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 23:06, archived)

covent garden a quid in sainsbo

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 23:42, archived)

ok

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 23:48, archived)

haha, soup! Like in the mighty boosh

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 23:16, archived)

also like in my dinner
when it's too late to cook a proper meal when i get in
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 23:19, archived)

WHAT'S THE BEST REASON why YOU WERE WEARING UNDERPANTS.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:12, archived)

All my thongs were in the wash

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:13, archived)

so my willy doesn't rub up against my fly

(

$$ ✅, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:14, archived)

I know a guy who doesn't wear underwear. I asked him about this,
He seemed to think it wasn't a problem.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:14, archived)

He has a tiny cock

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:14, archived)

+n

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:15, archived)

Conck?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:19, archived)

That's Michelle

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:21, archived)

I got the conck, I got the right to speak.

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:26, archived)

Fuck off Piggo

(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:35, archived)

hen has a tiny cock?

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 14:41, archived)

I also know someone like this. His missus had temporarily kicked him out so a mate put him up, he seemed to think it was acceptable and normal to be able to whip his jeans off and sleep bare-arsed on my mates leather sofa.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:16, archived)

Don't be scared, I'm always on high alert

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:17, archived)

On leather? Yuck.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:18, archived)

That's what disgusted me the most, I can't imagine it being much fun.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:19, archived)

Maybe he had a thing.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:21, archived)

Which one of you disrespectful men been tossing his dirty drawers in the kitchen trash can, huh?

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:47, archived)

light him up

(

$$ ✅, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:20, archived)

I wanted to carry the poo round for the rest of the day rather than me have to go to the toilet

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:15, archived)

Moist

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:16, archived)

proper moist

(

$$ ✅, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:43, archived)

Get this, Windy: not only was I wearing underpants, I still am.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:17, archived)

Prove it, cunt.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:19, archived)

You're not the boss of me.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:26, archived)

I bet they're black boxers because you are dark, mysterious and well fit, lol
x
(

$$ ✅, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:21, archived)

Probably a grundy-looking pair of grey, M&S boxers.
I'm slumming it.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:25, archived)

M&S Grundy washed on a Monday, worn still on tuesday, and on the Wednesday, inside out thursday, still there on Friday...

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:56, archived)

I like this.

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 14:05, archived)

Bollocks

(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:51, archived)

That's the outfit that mum left on my chair, she'd ask questions if I left one item there

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:22, archived)

Medical examination

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:23, archived)

I just watched that thing where the guy runs like mad from one tube station to the other and gets back on the same train.
The pov running made me feel tired.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:49, archived)

I'm batman

(

mongychops, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:56, archived)

No, you're a black man.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 14:01, archived)

no no no fuck that was Jesus

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 14:04, archived)

And why can't the part of the dark knight be played by a Blackman eh, you fucking racist

(

mongychops, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 14:04, archived)

Because then his wealth would probably be from drug dealing instead of inherited, lol edgy

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 14:07, archived)

Here:
are you happy, now?

More seriously, the DRC has it's own Batman, which I think is how comics handle racial diversity.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 14:24, archived)

Drc?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Mar 2017, 14:34, archived)

^ forgot about drc
Democratic Republic of Congo (where they make Um-Bongo).
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 14:49, archived)

were ... haha

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 14:13, archived)

wee wee

(

$$ ✅, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 14:24, archived)

What's the best reason why you weren't wearing underpants?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 11:25, archived)

I was showering

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 11:27, archived)

I heard you were more of a growerer

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 11:27, archived)

a what?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 11:28, archived)

I'd followed through earlier in the night and chucked them in a skip.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 11:31, archived)

I wanted the poo to go in the toilet rather than me have to carry it round for the rest of the day

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 11:33, archived)

sounds like SOMEONE has mastered this game
www.kongregate.com/games/rete/dont-shit-your-pants
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 11:34, archived)

\o/
imgur.com/a/y2fie
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 11:42, archived)

that likeness is uncanny

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 11:49, archived)

do one at Paul's house

(

$$ ✅, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:04, archived)

i do have a pretty big bathroom. too big, if anything

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:12, archived)

Or on Two Hats' lawn.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:15, archived)

I was in a nudist spa in Belgium.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 11:33, archived)

~~elgium~~ radford
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:27, archived)

~~a nudist spa in B~~ Ronnie
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:31, archived)

can't tell you, this isn't qotw

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 11:33, archived)

Was it for charity?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Mar 2017, 11:41, archived)

Couple of charity balls eh lads eh eh

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 11:41, archived)

in as much as that it involved a lady very charitably having sex with me

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 11:52, archived)

^ give monetary donations to women for sex and calls it charity

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:41, archived)

A green beret tried to kick my ass whilst I was hungry.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 11:40, archived)

I was asleep.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Mar 2017, 11:40, archived)

I heard that 8 spiders crawl up your anus on average each year if sleep in the nude

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 11:48, archived)

8 wasn't enough for windy so he drew a tiny 'free spider food' sign on his bumcheek
à la wile e coyote
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 11:51, archived)

but his fly is on the other side!!1!1!!

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:00, archived)

the same 8 spiders?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 11:51, archived)

they're migratory

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 11:52, archived)

infest

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:18, archived)

when i was a young teenager i went fishing and really needed a poo so i did a poo by the lake and realised i didn't have anything to wipe my bum so i used my pants and flung them into a bush
(

sock more tea vicar?, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 11:57, archived)

if you'd caught a fish you could have kept your pants

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:00, archived)

i'm not sure fish are abrasive enough
a bit like council toilet paper it'd just put a big streak of poo up my back
(

sock more tea vicar?, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:01, archived)

ahh, izal.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:04, archived)

haha well remembered!

(

sock more tea vicar?, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:12, archived)

you have to wipe them the other way
against the grain
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:12, archived)

ah yes i see, thank you

(

sock more tea vicar?, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:14, archived)

9/11

(

$$ ✅, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:07, archived)

were you using them as a parachute?

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:09, archived)

sure did
everyone high fived me when I landed
(

$$ ✅, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:11, archived)

He looks at Bin Laden, he looks at the baby

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:09, archived)

lol

(

$$ ✅, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:13, archived)

Oh, and that time I shit myself and had to throw my pyjamas in a river in Darley Dale.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:26, archived)

thanks to DFS I can only hear Darley Dale in the context of: Darley Dale, Measham, Droitwich, Grantham, Northampton, Shrewsbury, Cannock, Fenton and Banbury

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:30, archived)

cool

(

$$ ✅, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:33, archived)

wanna buy a sofa?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:39, archived)

ummmm
no, I think I'm okay for now.

Cheers.
(

$$ ✅, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:42, archived)

might spunk a poo out, though

(

$$ ✅, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:49, archived)

No Frozen songs please

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:14, archived)

There is something wrong with you.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:44, archived)

Free bleeding

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:32, archived)

is that where you cut yourself in an urban environment while your mate films you with a fisheye lens?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:41, archived)

Is that the aftermath of a monster-sized Free Willy?

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:53, archived)

Medical examination

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:42, archived)

did you pass?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:09, archived)

Just heard the new JAMC single, quite like it.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:49, archived)

strikethrough JAMC and replaced with Steps making it look like you love the new steps single

(

$$ ✅, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:51, archived)

Is the dark-haired one still fit?

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:51, archived)

all of them are

(

$$ ✅, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:53, archived)

especially Lee

(

$$ ✅, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:54, archived)

fit
uk.usn-sport.com/w/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/LLE-1024x944.jpeg
(

$$ ✅, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 12:55, archived)

i.imgur.com/oEhVvjZ.gif
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 13:04, archived)

morning

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 7:29, archived)

I'm Selwyn Raab AMA!

(

$$ ✅, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 8:06, archived)

who the fuck are you?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 8:09, archived)

A writer

(

$$ ✅, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 8:12, archived)

have you written anything worth reading?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 8:13, archived)

loads m8

(

$$ ✅, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 8:16, archived)

bullshit

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 8:17, archived)

Why is your name an anagram of both 'brawny ales' and 'Barney Slaw'?

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 8:23, archived)

given all that you have learnt over the years about organised crime amongst Italian-American communities, how deeply it penetrates institutions of society and its effects on the US economy as a whole
do you think it's right when a band, such as the Sugababes, continues under the same moniker when the line-up has changed beyond recognition from the original group?
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:03, archived)

I think it's a gross insult to their loyal and committed fan base.
It's like taking a Snickers bar and removing the peanuts and replacing them with raisins, the nougat with wafer and the caramel with peanut butter. It's not the same.
(

$$ ✅, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:06, archived)

do you think Atomic Kitten were better with or without Katona?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:11, archived)

aka The Ship of Theseus

(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:22, archived)

no I think the album was called Sweet 7

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:39, archived)

What's your favourite Queen album?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:23, archived)

Sure is.
My youngest is off sick, so I'm home to look after him, only he's not really sick, so he's going to spend the whole day complaining that he's bored. Lucky me.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 8:16, archived)

punch him in the dick

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 8:18, archived)

send him to war
that will straighten him out
(

$$ ✅, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 8:23, archived)

His older brother's stated ambition is to start WWIII,
so if that comes to pass, he won't get a choice. Also, you're all going to die.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 8:34, archived)

Gadzooks, Wednesday is upon us.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 8:30, archived)

verily, this week raceth on

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 8:37, archived)

I need a wee

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 8:43, archived)

don't let us hold you back
you go for it
(

$$ ✅, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 8:47, archived)

Hold back!
#pisscamel
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 8:49, archived)

there should be plenty going cheap now that everyone's bought the Switch

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 8:51, archived)

fuck everything

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 8:52, archived)

starting with what?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 8:53, archived)

these fucking monitors
we're having a resolution conflict issue
#boringbuttrue
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:32, archived)

VIVA LA RESOLUTION!

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:33, archived)

When IT setup two monitors per desk, they managed to ever so slightly misalign them, so that anything split across the two is sheared.
I'm more annoyed by this than anyone else in the office.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:51, archived)

One of my two monitors is leaning ever so slightly forward
and the other ever so slightly back.

If you read about an office murder rampage in Fitzrovia, it might be me.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:54, archived)

Someone here had their monitor at about a 5° slant and didn't notice for months.
I was tempted to sort it when they weren't looking as it was annoying me from afar.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:55, archived)

Woman opposite me had her laptop outputting a full frame signal to her wide-screen monitor for months.
Not sure how I managed to avoid fixing it for her.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 10:00, archived)

in the ass!

(

$$ ✅, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 8:55, archived)

of course

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:50, archived)

that's the spirit!

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:16, archived)

YEAH

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 10:11, archived)

^ flebel without a cause

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:18, archived)

Good MORning MISSus GArry

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:05, archived)

where's my apple, you snot-nosed fuck?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:06, archived)

The greengrocer made me give it back, he says we need to start paying

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:08, archived)

don't bring me excuses, bring me an apple

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:18, archived)

No, no, this is all wrong

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:19, archived)

If a morning thread is wrong I don't want to be right

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:23, archived)

please show your working out

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:27, archived)

i.imgur.com/rl5QZW8.jpg
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:30, archived)

It's called "The Flebian Principal"

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:34, archived)

Here.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:33, archived)

Morning
I might be allowed to go home today
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:20, archived)

what's wrong with you?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:24, archived)

seriously?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:27, archived)

This should be clicked hard

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:51, archived)

Pneumonia, Sepsis and pleurisy

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:51, archived)

did you drown your lungs in dogshit?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:53, archived)

Yes, yes I did.
Fucking 2can was no use he just said I had Aids

My own GP misdiagnosed 4 yes FOUR times and sent me away telling me it was "viral" GPs are total cunts
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 10:13, archived)

That's old-skool lurgy right there.
Good job you escaped the dropsy and the ague. But you are officially On The Mend, so that is A Good Thing.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:55, archived)

morning
I have got the girlfriend interested in Z Nation, which is like The Walking Dead only entertaining. I hope to ween her off the latter as its got extremely dull lately.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:27, archived)

yer, I gave up on Walking Dead after they deafeated the one-eyed mayor
it just got too slow and plodding and ridiculous
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:29, archived)

I'm still sticking with it
But you're right. It's very slow moving.
- Find place to hide
- Get attacked by bad guys
- look for a way to beat them
- beat them
- abandond hiding place
- find new place to hide
- ad infinitum
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:32, archived)

Zombies aren't even a problem any more
They're a mild inconvenience. It's other people that are causing all the crap now, I might as well be watching Eastenders.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:45, archived)

Yeah, but then I think that was always the central theme
I've always thought that "the walking dead" are actually the survivors. Staggering through a futile existence, knowing that even if they die of natural causes, they'll need to have their heads caved in, otherwise they'll turn and try to kill their loved ones. Maybe I'm giving the show more credit than it deserves, I dunno.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:48, archived)

The human race is ultimately doomed, so their attempts at survival are totally pointless
SAD!
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:49, archived)

More fake progress from failing homo erectus, cro magnon, homo sapien. So-called use of advanced tools and independent thought!

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:59, archived)

in the municipal corporation of the blind, the one-eyed man is mayor

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:42, archived)

Zombies are shit.
Space vampires though.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 15 Mar 2017, 9:53, archived)

Thread replacement bus service
Like any other thread, but somehow much worse.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:49, archived)

do you take dayriders?

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:51, archived)

I don't think much of Blade 4.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:53, archived)

You've just not studied it enough.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:02, archived)

he thinks you're just fabulous

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:08, archived)

disgusting

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:05, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVUyQC7AE0Q
(

$$ ✅, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:04, archived)

Now THAT is freakin' adorable

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:06, archived)

actual lol.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:07, archived)

Oh brilliant.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:15, archived)

I hate buses. I'd much rather walk or pay for a cab.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:15, archived)

Two guys have been getting on the same bus as me of late
and they talk like Derek & Clive. They are brilliant. Today's solid gold gem:
D: "there's a girl at work who is very nice to me"
C: "oh yeah"
D: "Yeah. She's told me very personal, very intimate things. Thing is, I don't know if she likes me in that way. it's very difficult to tell"
C: "Well you can't ask, can you"
D: "Of course I can't ask, can I?"
*slight pause*
C: "I went on holiday with a girl once, named Linda Cook. A year later, she was murdered!"
D: "Hmm. Did she used to go down the Lido?"
C: "Errmm....No, I don't think so"
D: "I must be thinking of someone else"
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:21, archived)

Sorry it's a bit long, but it's the best conversation I've overheard in ages
Last week they had a discussion about classic cars V modern sports cars. It was brilliant.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:22, archived)

They sound like the sort of people that might have a body hidden somewhere.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:25, archived)

haha!

(

sock more tea vicar?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:25, archived)

just as we were pulling up to my stop, they started talking about Madeleine McCann
I REALLY wish I could've stayed for that one.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:26, archived)

I would have stayed.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:27, archived)

you really should start keeping a diary of this

(

sock more tea vicar?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:30, archived)

record them, make a podcast

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:34, archived)

^ ^ ^

(

vladimir, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 21:17, archived)

did you like this?

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:53, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/8057244
(

sock more tea vicar?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:55, archived)

I "I like this!"'d it if that's what you mean

(

sock more tea vicar?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:56, archived)

are they old?

(

$$ ✅, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:27, archived)

Mid-50's I'd say

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:57, archived)

...and my day is made
\o/

you know how these swedes go on
(

vladimir, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 21:16, archived)

I like buses , much nicer than the tube

(

mongychops, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:23, archived)

I don't use the tune enough to dislike it.
Whenever I'm in London clogging it up like the horrible tourist that I am, it seems nice and convenient.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:26, archived)

I like big buses (and I cannot lie).

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 19:22, archived)

like a megabus this will soon be in flames
imgur.com/gallery/KqvRU
(

sock more tea vicar?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:16, archived)

I like this!

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:17, archived)

I like this!
I like this!
(

sock more tea vicar?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:18, archived)

I like how in the middle pic it looks like the megabus man has an exploding e-cig in his pocket

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:21, archived)

oh shit yeah! i hadn't noticed that before
what a painted prick
(

sock more tea vicar?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:26, archived)

haha, nice

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:32, archived)

I didn't even know megabus was a thing in the us.
I thought all their buses were silver like in the films.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:55, archived)

haha

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 19:47, archived)

haha, I only use public transport when I'm on one of my many extravagant foreign holidays

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:19, archived)

hahaha

(

$$ ✅, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:30, archived)

Alright Monster Munch I am eating grapes in hospital.
I have my official diagnosis now
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:40, archived)

'roids?
my dad used to call them bum grapes
(

sock more tea vicar?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:42, archived)

Alright, span-eff.
What ails you?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 16:50, archived)

Pneumonia, sepsis and pleurisy

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 17:12, archived)

The nurses love it when you cough up blood on them,
so you should be well in.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 17:30, archived)

I will give it a go

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 18:09, archived)

I had pleurisy last year
it sounds old fashioned, like scurvy or aids
(

broadsword w⚓, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 17:47, archived)

It fucking hurts doesn't it

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 18:09, archived)

I bet you go via /LINKS too, you cunt

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 17:18, archived)

Hasn't it been walled off from the rest of the site?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 17:32, archived)

Happy Candle Day Amorous Badger!
14 today! In your face Kaol (or whoever normally gets it)
(

$$ ✅, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:16, archived)

so there

(

$$ ✅, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:16, archived)

they grow up so fast!

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:18, archived)

Bent

(

mongychops, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:20, archived)

Bit tactless, what with him being dead.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:23, archived)

Did his wife eat him?

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:02, archived)

Haha, she's fat.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:02, archived)

^tggi

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:05, archived)

Haha, she was fat and he was skinny!
I can't believe no one noticed this before!
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:03, archived)

Skinny said to Fatty "My god, you're such a slob"
Your gut is such a flabby one, it must obscure your knob
Isn't it a problem, when you're on the job?
Said Fatty "I'm a girlie" and smashed him in the gob
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:06, archived)

That was their first dance.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:07, archived)

and last, I'd wager

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:12, archived)

I didn't even know they lived that long...

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:27, archived)

The lifespan of the average badger is about 15 years
So, enjoy this last year.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:27, archived)

Honey badgers have an approximate life of 24 years
That is because they are fucking lethal and even death is scared of them.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:28, archived)

and yet they sound so sweet

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:30, archived)

unfortunately he was already culled during an outbreak of bovine TB

(

$$ ✅, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:29, archived)

haha remember when someone called him onerous fadger? that was well lol

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:31, archived)

I don't remember that. And it's not particularly funny.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:32, archived)

^ upset

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:33, archived)

hahaha I hear he his wife is quite fat

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:47, archived)

You are a rude man.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:52, archived)

I just want people to like me :(

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:14, archived)

i.imgur.com/pVNcuFA.png
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:29, archived)

I always get AA and AB mixed up.
Which was the one with the spreadsheet?
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:55, archived)

AA was dull. AB was dull via spreadsheet.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:02, archived)

aa?

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:05, archived)

Agnostic antichrist

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:07, archived)

*shrug*

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:52, archived)

RIP in peace.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:31, archived)

Needs more rest

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:37, archived)

|What you doing stalking his profile anyway, hun?

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:32, archived)

Whores will have their trinkets

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:36, archived)

i was thinking more serial killers will have their trophies

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:40, archived)

Looking for the long lost fail archive

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:41, archived)

I noticed his candles on the first page of off topic

(

$$ ✅, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:47, archived)

fuck him

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:49, archived)

They are very cool, I spent yesterday properly setting the Aerodyne up as it's pretty new to me.
Previous owner must have been a heavy metal dick, weird hybrid strings with a super heavy gauge.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:53, archived)

you first mate, lol

(

$$ ✅, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:54, archived)

lol
www.thisiscolossal.com/2017/03/next-level-food-carving-on-fruits-and-vegetables-by-gaku/
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:57, archived)

woah
thought this was going to be a web comic
(

$$ ✅, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:02, archived)

I wanted a comic.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:03, archived)

i.redditmedia.com/3WQZ5rqaRsdyYU6k0-PewAu_k4NaOpeoD9xIOXsc4WI.jpg?w=768&s=9d12787886ce794accdcfd03f912c0d3
(

$$ ✅, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:05, archived)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
modern life, right there
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:05, archived)

omg this is just like my life!!

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:08, archived)

How do they know exactly what I'm thinking?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:08, archived)

Microwaves

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:13, archived)

Of course.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:31, archived)

Gypsy curse

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:13, archived)

Are gypsy curses microwave safe?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:29, archived)

Like all things sacred
They are not dishwasher-proof
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:31, archived)

Although this does indeed chime with my experience of office work,
I do have to wonder why they have bags of ice on their heads.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:11, archived)

hrwiki.org/w/images/7/7f/dullard_dvd_3.png
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:10, archived)

I don't get it.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:12, archived)

I did not enjoy that.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:13, archived)

Christ
How is that any better than the two I knocked up last week? Fucking hell.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:13, archived)

9/11

(

$$ ✅, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:18, archived)

This is the type of stuff you do with your spare time if you can't/won't wank
Right?
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:06, archived)

^nullo

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:08, archived)

I guess so
He must have some awesome knives, mind
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:09, archived)

Gary Rhodes does to
Ergo, this person is a massive Gary Rhodes.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:11, archived)

hmm, that doesn't sound right but I don't know enough about Gary Rhodes to dispute it.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:17, archived)

he used to be in duran duran

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:20, archived)

what, he's a spiky-headed cumwaffle?

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:26, archived)

Combine the two and carve your willy into a dragon.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:09, archived)

"The blood spurting out represents fire"
Bleugh
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:12, archived)

Ow.
:(
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:15, archived)

not happy with the direction of this thread
might delete it
(

$$ ✅, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:35, archived)

^ massive fan of Gary Rhodes

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:38, archived)

he stands in as a stunt double for Nigel Kennedy
trufax
(

$$ ✅, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 15:47, archived)

Hello chaps and lady boarders!
IiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiIIIIt's TH!

What's going on, eh? I mean, really. What. Is going. On?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:05, archived)

sexual things

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:07, archived)

ooh
I like the sound of that
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:09, archived)

oh yeah this would be right up your street
there's an initial sense of pleasure followed by a period of self-loathing
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:17, archived)

That's got me written all over it

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:19, archived)

in what?

(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 12:21, archived)

also, I clicked I like this! on your post by accident when really I'm ambivalent about it

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:08, archived)

that's ok, I won't count it when I do my audit

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:09, archived)

I'm in Harlow.
Clearly, I have angered the gods.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:10, archived)

I see
What's in Harlow?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:20, archived)

Big hospital, shitty town centre, girls wearing a lot of makeup.
It's truly a wonderful town.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 13:33, archived)

You took your time, you div
Speaking of shit-holes, I'm going to wander into Havant
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 13:35, archived)

2hr meeting in a mobile blackspot,
so no bunking off on here.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:12, archived)

A Cyndi Lauper earworm now...

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:11, archived)

Well that's good enough...for you it's...good enough...for me it's gooood enooooough

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:21, archived)

no, not that one

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:41, archived)

Well, I think you're mistaken

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:42, archived)

alright

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:14, archived)

yeah, more or less
you?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:22, archived)

similar
this gif appeared on my twitter this morning and made me laugh for some reason
media.giphy.com/media/3o7btOykNiVaX0yYLu/giphy.gif
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:22, archived)

OUTTA NOWHERE

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:25, archived)

it's a superhero landing as well

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:38, archived)

m.imgur.com/1fVfzu6?r
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 12:26, archived)

Haha
Nice
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 12:27, archived)

GORE! GORE GORE!

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 12:29, archived)

gonna need more proof

(

$$ ✅, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:15, archived)

I know what you mean
Believe nothing that you hear, and only half that you see. There.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:22, archived)

finished watching sunny series 12
can't say too much as two hats is going through them now

how about that thing that you know who did though, eh? fucking hell
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:28, archived)

I'm trying to hold out until it appears on netflix but am coming very close to streaming it elsewhere.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:31, archived)

i found decent enough copies on watchseries.somethingorother
i was only watching on an ipad screen though, it might look like shit on anything substantial
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:39, archived)

*cough* torrents *cough*
*splutter* looks fine on 40" screen *cough*
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:41, archived)

streaming is more immediate

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:43, archived)

so's your face, m8
I've got the whole series on a memory stick that's always plugged into the telly, so it fits in well with my "never leaves the sofa" lifestyle
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:46, archived)

I know, right?

(

$$ ✅, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:32, archived)

I watched Wolf Cola last night

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:34, archived)

um, you can't watch a drink ma8

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:38, archived)

oh shit

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:40, archived)

tbh I didn't like the first episode

(

$$ ✅, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:52, archived)

not being racist

(

$$ ✅, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:52, archived)

r
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:56, archived)

morning.
all gone buggerup.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:25, archived)

Oh no! how so?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:27, archived)

not really,
just had a pretty amazingly hectic weekend and now feeling a bit run down, plus i really like the word "buggerup"

also Spacefish just got back from returning the van to the rental place and they didn't care that he'd crashed it into a bin
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:32, archived)

depends on the type of bin, I suppose

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:35, archived)

it was approximately
one of these but he scraped it down the side and left a bit of a dent although it was already scratched down that side when we got it
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:38, archived)

s.hswstatic.com/gif/green-home-2.jpg
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:43, archived)

Won't somebody think of the sleeping airmen?

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 12:41, archived)

Naink

(

mongychops, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:44, archived)

John Lever's carked it.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 11:59, archived)

A Person Isn't Safe Anywhere These Days

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 12:07, archived)

Be Vigilant.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 12:13, archived)

Less Than Human
:(
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 12:32, archived)

Illegal data tracking
Of the sexy kind, that's what.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 12:00, archived)

"Says here she chucked it up her mott!"
Google: Here's a million quid
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 12:22, archived)

I'm home sick and have been sleeping.
I might have some lunch and go back to sleeps.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Mar 2017, 12:19, archived)

God speed, little ginge
x
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 12:20, archived)

If I die do you want my bass guitars?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Mar 2017, 12:41, archived)

I would be honoured
what are they, by the way?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 12:41, archived)

a stringed instrument

(

$$ ✅, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 12:46, archived)

lol

(

$$ ✅, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 12:46, archived)

But that's not important right now.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 12:49, archived)

you rascal

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 12:50, archived)

They're large wooden boxes with a mottled, fish skin covering, decorative fins and six pieces of fishing line stretched taut down their length

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 12:49, archived)

Cod almighty

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 12:50, archived)

Something something pentatonic scales

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 12:54, archived)

can't argue with that

(

$$ ✅, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 12:54, archived)

A Musicman stingray and a fender aerodyne.
Can have the amp as well. Ashdown evo ii, with a 4x10 cab to match.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Mar 2017, 12:57, archived)

I really want a bass amp, I just don't have the space
But if you pass on, I'll make the space, Windy. I love you x
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 13:05, archived)

And those are two seriously cool instruments

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 13:11, archived)

there's an implication here that if his basses were shit you'd turn down this generous offer from the poor dying pig
and I don't like it one bit, m8. Not one bit.
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 13:15, archived)

Well, I don't want to end up with a couple of lemons, do I

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 13:23, archived)

that's half way to making a lemon cheesecake
just think about that
(

$$ ✅, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 13:24, archived)

see that's his problem - can't see the bigger picture

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 13:25, archived)

he's like Mr Magoo

(

$$ ✅, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 13:26, archived)

*pours superglue on toothbrush*

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 13:35, archived)

shenanigans and fuckwittery
with occasional nazism and a lovely spot of trump bashing
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 14:10, archived)

morning
limited responses available: voluntary deputy needed.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 7:14, archived)

Morning Busy Buzzy Grrmachine
I'm going to be swamped this morning as well, half day though and Gojira tonight :D
(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 7:21, archived)

alright HB Mupps
I've heard them on the radio but can't remember any of their songs. Recommendations?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 8:10, archived)

I like the one where it fights King Kong.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 9:26, archived)

Fuck the morning thread.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 7:32, archived)

i think you've been listening to too much Afro-Americans With Attitude
Have a long hard think about what you're saying, young man.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 8:13, archived)

maybe he's straight out of Compton, West Sussex

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 8:17, archived)

Deputy DAWG, amirite?
Come on then, giz' the baton.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 8:09, archived)

it's all yours m8
imma kick back and ride this thing out.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 8:13, archived)

Godspeed, or some other encouraging words that maybe sound a bit less Lord of the Rings-y.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 8:18, archived)

to be fair, I am a black emperor

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 8:22, archived)

+ strong ~~emperor~~ woman who don't need no man.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 8:37, archived)

Thuesday Morning, Chapter 2
What's the best excuse you've ever heard or proffered for being late for work?
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 8:21, archived)

"I prefer my eggs hard boiled"

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 8:24, archived)

That's good for five minutes' lateness at the most.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 8:30, archived)

I've never made an excuse for my tardiness.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 8:50, archived)

Well today I was about 20 minutes later than I wanted to be.
Because I was hunting high and low for the key to my desk drawer (it had my laptop in it). Turns out I'd lobbed it and my works pass on the floor when answering the door to an unexpected caller last night.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 10:04, archived)

"Why are you late?"
"I didn't get here on time."
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 10:47, archived)

Breakfast

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Mar 2017, 8:27, archived)

I barely know fast.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 8:33, archived)

bum

(

$$ ✅, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 8:44, archived)

+baclaart

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 8:49, archived)

Knickers
There
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 8:55, archived)

where?

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 8:56, archived)

Some little knickers with clogs on!

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 8:56, archived)

now that'd be something worth seeing

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 9:01, archived)

Knockers

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 9:00, archived)

knackers

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 9:01, archived)

undercrackers

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 9:05, archived)

m

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 9:15, archived)

q

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 9:21, archived)

a: initial

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 9:27, archived)

That's not a James Bond character.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 9:32, archived)

Not yet

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 9:41, archived)

While you were out stopping Blofeld I dined at Blades

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 9:48, archived)

Happy White Day to our Korean and Japanese forum members

(

$$ ✅, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 9:29, archived)

is it ok for yellow people to be white supremacists then?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 9:33, archived)

sure

(

$$ ✅, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 9:36, archived)

#bananalivesmatter

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 9:37, archived)

#bantz
www.kentonline.co.uk/canterbury/news/car-covered-in-cling-film-122179/
(

mongychops, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 9:40, archived)

Unconvinced is not impressed

(

$$ ✅, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 9:42, archived)

at least he's thinking about the poor dead grandfather , unlike kol

(

mongychops, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 9:45, archived)

I used to deliver papers for the KM group.
I got a lot of complaints about lateness.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 9:43, archived)

Morning
I discovered this morning that the President of Gabon is Ali Bongo.

Terrible racism.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 9:43, archived)

Michael Gambon is the president of Bongo-bongo Land.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 9:47, archived)

Bongo-bongo land split, following a civil war into
Bongolia and Outer Bongolia
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 9:56, archived)

What are the ramifications of this for the production of Um-Bongo?

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 10:02, archived)

the factory moved to the Congo years ago

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Mar 2017, 10:08, archived)

Haha! Mr McBeef
Has just ordered a pair of shoes he doesn't need based on a text message.

How easily led are YOU?

And that's a question to number 2 Cilla
(

JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 22:18, archived)

She's dead you spaz

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 22:22, archived)

Try telling that to Jeebus

(

JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 23:02, archived)

Your nan led me etc.

(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 22:29, archived)

off the road?

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 22:37, archived)

Yeah go on then
I managed to get a bit of her weekly shop first though
(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 22:54, archived)

i got new shoes but i did need them

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 22:45, archived)

No excuse.

(

JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 23:02, archived)

I was looking for a shoes, and then I found a shoes

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 23:06, archived)

yeah that was pretty much it,
much easier than usual, especially after the nightmare i had trying to find a pair of winter boots without a 5 inch heel
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 23:08, archived)

DMs

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 23:24, archived)

i don't rock DMs,
never owned a pair even when all my friends did
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 23:25, archived)

Is it not like a rite of passage

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 23:31, archived)

I recently bought some bright red suede Puma trainers.
I haven't taken them out of the box since they arrived.
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 23:10, archived)

just by coincidence,
these are also suede Puma trainers, they are not red though
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 23:11, archived)

How bizarre

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 23:12, archived)

www.prodirectselect.com/productimages/V3_1_Main/114236.jpg
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 23:13, archived)

www.schuh.co.uk/womens/puma-suede-classic-black-and-white-trainers/1967277250/
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 23:19, archived)

They are smart them.

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 23:38, archived)

Easily...
Does anyone here recommend Bulova watches at all?

Mongy has me on 2.0. I have a £200 amazon voucher so looking at spending about £600 (£400 with voucher)

Any advice welcome o
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 23:12, archived)

sounds like a lot to spend on a watch,
especially since they're basically redundant now
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 23:13, archived)

I have to wear a watch.
I let my boy play with mine about a month ago, not seen it since.
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 23:14, archived)

hm :(
maybe better getting cheap ones then.

i haven't worn a watch for years, i've got used to looking at parking meters when i walk past
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 23:22, archived)

I just list the game

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 23:17, archived)

So, who's watching the football?

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 19:17, archived)

I am
Chelsea to win

kthxbai
(

$$ ✅, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 19:18, archived)

booo
ManU to win 2-0
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 19:20, archived)

soz

(

$$ ✅, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 19:32, archived)

In my acca

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 19:24, archived)

nice

(

$$ ✅, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 19:31, archived)

Not much value tonight, 5 games, 10-1 I've got it up to

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 19:33, archived)

See the problem with walk it in is
They always try to Arsenal
(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 22:31, archived)

Gary Linekar

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 19:28, archived)

Tell him you want to watch your soaps , he treats you like dirt

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 19:29, archived)

He hides the remote :(

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 19:30, archived)

He's so selfish, no wonder Daniella left him, stay strong

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 19:32, archived)

:(

(

$$ ✅, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 19:32, archived)

Why would I want to do that?
Watching Robot Wars on iPlayer - a much better spectator sport.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 19:28, archived)

I heard about the guy storming off
Sounds lol
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 19:29, archived)

Didn't know it was back until I saw that story on the news.
Met the Behemoth team at the local kite festival, last year - nice guys and an impressive robot, but I'm looking forward to seeing them get wrecked by a bunch of kids.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 20:00, archived)

i saw a gif of it,
of course that exists
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 21:27, archived)

oh no wait it wasn't a gif,
it was just a youtube video clip taken by pointing a phone camera at the television
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 21:30, archived)

Man, I LOVE living in the future

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 21:32, archived)

in which we have so much bandwidth
we transmit minutes long video clips as anim gif, and blocks of text as jpegs.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 21:41, archived)

Grown ups play with lego

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 22:14, archived)

Fairly certain you've said all spectator sports are shit

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 19:30, archived)

That does sound like something I would say.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 19:57, archived)

lies

(

$$ ✅, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 19:32, archived)

I think the brazzers fuck olympics were better tbh

(

$$ ✅, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 19:33, archived)

*pole-vaults*

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 19:49, archived)

*snatches*

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 20:12, archived)

"Have you ever kissed a girl?"

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 20:33, archived)

i don't watch men kicking balls unless it's important

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 20:00, archived)

Probably some jap game show, they love pointless humiliation and pain

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 20:55, archived)

not i

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 21:21, archived)

Not me but the fella in the bed opposite is
So I can hear it.
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 21:27, archived)

are you in a hostipals?

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 21:31, archived)

Sure am. Not a well boy :-(

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 21:40, archived)

oh,
get well soon
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 21:42, archived)

Thanks.
Currently getting over Sepsis, need to see the consultant tomorrow to discuss why the CT scan shows enlarged lymph nodes around my heart and discuss the shadows on lung.
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spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 21:58, archived)

oh shit that sounds like it was pretty serious

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Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 22:07, archived)

It was / I have been told that so far the CT scan and ultrasound looks positive
Got to see the consultant tomorrow and get the lowdown
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spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 22:17, archived)

People who have failed at life.
My robot hoover/mop came today, it is brilliant and a fine addition to my army of robot slaves
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2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 21:40, archived)

How are you?

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 13 Mar 2017, 15:50, archived)

Hi hun!
Im good thanks. Bit tired, bit hungover.

we've got an early finish incentive for this football malarkey, so will hopefully be out in the next hour.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 15:51, archived)

Yeah, I'm ok thanks
You?
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 15:52, archived)

Bit rude
not one single reply
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 17:15, archived)

Did he died?
omg
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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 17:39, archived)

I think so

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$$ ✅, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 17:40, archived)

In hevan wiv jade da angles and the doveston
rest in rip sweet porcine prince
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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 17:43, archived)

sausagemeat squire
bacony baron
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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 18:18, archived)

Really dead, or just frisbok-dead?

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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 13 Mar 2017, 18:32, archived)

Haha
I certainly hope not!
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 19:13, archived)

feeling hench

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$$ ✅, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 15:53, archived)

darkbunnytees.com/product/bat-labels-henchman/
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 15:56, archived)

bit gender specific

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$$ ✅, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 15:59, archived)

I suppose you'd want to replace the word "human", too?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:03, archived)

I prefer opposable thumb bipedal entity

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$$ ✅, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:11, archived)

cottonbureau.com/products/henchwoman
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:11, archived)

I'd fuck you if you wore that

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$$ ✅, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:12, archived)

woah
food for thought
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:13, archived)

food for squart more like!

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$$ ✅, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:15, archived)

haha, it is more like that actually

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:17, archived)

i prefer this one
www.galloree.com/Artworks-The-Monarch-Henchmen-HENCH--72206.php
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manolith hooray for me, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:35, archived)

Yeah, but you're a t-shirt racist

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:37, archived)

while that is true
i also like venture brothers more than batman
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:43, archived)

Zzokk!

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:44, archived)

i.imgur.com/fucTMH0.png
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manolith hooray for me, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:48, archived)

blocked

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:50, archived)

OR IS IT?

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manolith hooray for me, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:57, archived)

Ah
I love that
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:58, archived)

ibya
ydob
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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 19:07, archived)

wank it, wank it hard.

(

$$ ✅, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:52, archived)

www.dialbforblog.com/archives/136/boner_3.gif
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 17:08, archived)

the joker is a poker

(

$$ ✅, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 17:11, archived)

Still alive.
So there's that.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 15:55, archived)

Well if you will criticise the Russians
Take yer poisoning like a good'en
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:45, archived)

bored off my tits with no sign of this meeting ending

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 15:55, archived)

I'd have bunked off, by now,
but I'm subbing for my boss in a particularly exciting meeting.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 15:56, archived)

Alright Maggie Gyllenhaal
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:10, archived)

Well, that's my squildo well & truly graped.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:17, archived)

also, apparently your tank's arrived on my doorstep

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 15:57, archived)

bet that scared the elderly neighbours, like 1939 all over again

(

mongychops, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 15:59, archived)

lol

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$$ ✅, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:00, archived)

Ah yeah, grand, you know.
Even more so because I'm going home now.
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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:00, archived)

a bit better

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:11, archived)

strikethrough on the b replacing it with w to form wetter
indicating you've pissed your pants for the lol
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$$ ✅, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:13, archived)

^this checks out

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:14, archived)

it's quite warm and pleasant at first
but it soon becomes cold and clammy
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:16, archived)

Like sex with your nan.

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Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:25, archived)

today would've been her 90th birthday

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:27, archived)

Then all youve got is old cold piss

(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:28, archived)

from this angle it's almost the shape of the British isles

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:29, archived)

full of steak

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:13, archived)

and how are you?

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:14, archived)

Went in to give blood,
came away with a hot beef injection.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:19, archived)

don't get blood taken till tomorrow
they're testing me for all kinds of shit.
but not aids.
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:25, archived)

that's suspicious

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:27, archived)

all my vitamin and mineral levels are really low, despite taking supplements every day
doctor thinks i need far more of them than i was prescribed and kept going on about osteoporosis. just hope they don't give me those nasty fucking milkshakes
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:31, archived)

Partially gelatinated non-dairy gum-based beverages?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:41, archived)

Their milkshakes bring all smashys to the ward?

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 13 Mar 2017, 18:35, archived)

SPOILER ALERT:
You're The Thing.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:31, archived)

actual giggles
but i hate being cold!
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:33, archived)

Patriots Day was good
but you know what these Americans are like. We are the best at everything shit.
And no matter what movie Mark Wahlberg is in, he's ALWAYS got an attractive girlfriend/wife!
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Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:19, archived)

Alive
I... I think?
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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:28, archived)

Alright 'Eddie Vedder'.

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Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:29, archived)

How do you make Eddie Vedder commit suicide?
Nail a mirror to the bottom of a swimming pool
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:44, archived)

Do you know what day it is?

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:30, archived)

St Swithin's day?

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:43, archived)

if you find yourself craving brains more than usual, you may be a zombie

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:34, archived)

I'm currently craving mint chop chip ice cream
That can't be bad.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 16:44, archived)

Bit tired and hungover
may have overdone it a smidge for a Sunday night.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 17:01, archived)

I deliberately went to a couple of pubs that weren't my local so I didn't overdo it.
By the third pint I was ready for bed. Shifted my hangover and got a decent sleep.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 17:17, archived)

i just dun a big poo

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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 13 Mar 2017, 18:21, archived)

lol, poo!

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 18:26, archived)

I put 4 pancakes on the birdfeeder today.
I bought a pack of 8 for the landlady for pancake day and she only ate 4 of them. They've been in the fridge til now.
/things involving cake related stuff blog.
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 13 Mar 2017, 18:31, archived)

I'm always making pancakes,
but rarely am I eating them.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 18:32, archived)

I couldn't be arsed to make any, so when she said 'Oh we MUST have pancakes' I went and bought them.
When she saw me ripping them up to put on the feeder she started bitching about 'food waste'.
Ungrateful bitch.
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 13 Mar 2017, 18:34, archived)

I only knew it was happening because someone bought pancakes in for everyone at work.

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Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 13 Mar 2017, 18:38, archived)

Yeah, if she hadn't said I wouldn't have realised.

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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 13 Mar 2017, 18:41, archived)

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