Afternoon still at work thread.
Tell us your mundane Easter plans lol glans.
Not you, McBoef.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 16:20, archived)

two flagons of your finest frothing brew, stout yeoman of the bar

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 16:39, archived)

who you calling stout?
It's holiday weight!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 16:46, archived)

130417;1745;TDFY

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 17:52, archived)

yessss

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 18:02, archived)

You can't post uni code in the subject line

( mongychops, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 18:07, archived)

I haven't been in work for about 4 weeks now.
And another two weeks off I think.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 18:27, archived)

Might fuck the easter bunny

( broadsword w⚓, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 19:53, archived)

Dearest b , luv u candies
X
m
( mongychops, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 20:18, archived)

Sweetest m
thinking of you on this wondrous day
always
b x
( broadsword w⚓, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 21:04, archived)

work work work work work

( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 0:29, archived)

Alright

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 0:47, archived)

evening SF

( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 1:17, archived)

What's happening?

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 1:32, archived)

"Hey, I hear you're the guy who makes videos", said a co-employee I've never seen before
What are you known for among your coworkers?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 13:42, archived)

Mucky videos?
Are we in the 80's?

My wit was likened to Roger from American Dad by one of my bosses last week.
I took it as a compliment.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 13:45, archived)

Could be any number of things, really, since I have only two coworkers.
Being the one who bikes everywhere, being the only bloke in the office, being limber...you name it.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 13:49, archived)

My short approach game and putting

( mongychops, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 13:56, archived)

sub thread:
costume ideas for a 007 themed party?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 13:57, archived)

Naked and painted gold

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 14:00, archived)

I reckon you should black up,
and go like this.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 13 Apr 2017, 14:00, archived)

I shall eat nought but salad until september

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 14:11, archived)

Rolex 6538 on a nato strap , or if you can't afford that i suppose a milli sub might work

( mongychops, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 14:02, archived)

you see this is funny, because james bond wore a sub and this is a sub thread asking about james bond....i'll wait ...

( mongychops, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 14:13, archived)

...

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 14:29, archived)

oh get a shitty fucking omega then, see if i care

( mongychops, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 14:35, archived)

dress up as a lime-coloured moped
If anyone asks, you're Vespa Green.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 14:44, archived)

^doesn't get invited to many parties

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 15:28, archived)

m
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 15:29, archived)

They call me "health and safety marko"
Because I wouldn't go up on the roof without a harness.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 13 Apr 2017, 13:58, archived)

Poof

( mongychops, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 14:03, archived)

careful, he'll grass you up for this

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 14:07, archived)

tell him i was only joking pls, i don't want the sack

( mongychops, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 14:15, archived)

cut you up more like

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 14:30, archived)

fortunately I work by myself so I can avoid most human contact

( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 14:23, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPQXwe2hzTg
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 14:37, archived)

I approve

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 14:46, archived)

Looks like your secret's out, xxCarFetishSubCuck69xx.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 14:40, archived)

not sure how you'd 69 a car

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 14:47, archived)

well, i used to be the 'loan store giant'
whereas now i'm just the new guy, i suppose
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 14:43, archived)

what's a loan store?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 14:48, archived)

The nickname of the State of Texas.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 14:49, archived)

where the students loaned the av equipment from

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 14:50, archived)

err, i mean
nothing. what's a loan store with you!
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 14:50, archived)

The one that has a serious issue with substance abuse.
Nah just being a paedo innit
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 15:34, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 7:27, archived)

_morning
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 7:29, archived)

that's a little morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 7:31, archived)

When-a you fall out of bed with a feeling of dread
little
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 7:41, archived)

Next you go for a wee and then have a coffee, that's a morning

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 7:42, archived)

Clock will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling, and you'll groan "For fuck's sake, I only just laid down"

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 7:43, archived)

please stop

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 7:56, archived)

i like this line because you could substitute tea for coffee and it still works

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 9:10, archived)

I reckon "have a tea" scans better

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 9:25, archived)

בוקר טוב
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 13 Apr 2017, 7:44, archived)

how jew do?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 7:56, archived)

Yes.
But no.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 8:03, archived)

[ little britain quote ]

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 8:09, archived)

monster munch says no.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 8:24, archived)

+thing worth paying attention to

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 9:10, archived)

It's my life take it or leave it, set me free what's that crap papa-knew-it-all ,i got my own life you got your own life, live your life and set me free

( mongychops, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 8:24, archived)

I can't tell if you've been listening to Bon Jovi or N-Trance

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 8:30, archived)

i've been listening to the Dr mate

( mongychops, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 8:32, archived)

just googled the lyrics
never heard of him
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 8:34, archived)

it's old, early 90's, pretty sure that was about all he did, euro dance pop shite

( mongychops, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 8:38, archived)

Morgen meine Kinder

( $$ ✅, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 8:26, archived)

tangles didn't help you with your footy bet, i'd inform the mods

( mongychops, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 8:27, archived)

yeah that bitch
I forgot to place the bets in the end. Which was good
( $$ ✅, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 8:38, archived)

should've read the small print
b3ta.com/talk/8066936
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 8:40, archived)

don't I look the fool

( $$ ✅, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 8:46, archived)

you mean there's a little plastic toy in an egg inside of me?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 8:28, archived)

I'll get it out

( $$ ✅, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 8:38, archived)

IBYW
YDOB
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 9:29, archived)

That's what happens when you eat the crew from the Nostromo.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 8:39, archived)

2meta4me

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 8:40, archived)

Isn't there a little plastic toy in an egg inside of all of us?
That toy's name is Jesus.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 8:46, archived)

Amen

( $$ ✅, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 8:46, archived)

Wait, not Jesus. The other one. Whatsisname?
Oh, yeah. Buzz Lightyear.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 8:49, archived)

Bloody hell, is it that time again already?
Second day of doing three people's jobs instead of one and I already feel like drinking in the morning.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 8:32, archived)

make sure to deliver things 1minute before the deadline
and tell everyone how hard you worked to get it done on time.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 8:38, archived)

it's the end of the week as we know it

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 8:40, archived)

alright for some
I'm still working tomorrow
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 8:59, archived)

like the fella who nailed our Lord to that cross

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 9:01, archived)

Double time tho he got , and Monday off

( mongychops, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 9:06, archived)

Likewise.
Good Friday's for Brexiteers only, apparently.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 13 Apr 2017, 9:08, archived)

I'm off bowling tonight,
You any good at bowling? Or are you more traditional skittles type?

Also, do you pronounce it bowling or bowling.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:06, archived)

It's well hot here
So I'm having coffee. Just been to the cemetery with all the bones.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:16, archived)

Alright Nelly

( mongychops, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:19, archived)

Alright

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:28, archived)

what's with the stupid plaster on your face?

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:32, archived)

I hurt my face
Next question
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:35, archived)

why hasn't it healed yet?

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 15:22, archived)

he keeps picking and eating the scab

( mongychops, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 15:27, archived)

he took the "plasterer's radio" suggestion too literally

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:46, archived)

one for you
www.watches.com/odm-jcdc-jc01-20-watch
( mongychops, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 15:20, archived)

How many bones?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:23, archived)

ALL OF THEM!!!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:26, archived)

Bout a gajillion or summat
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fontanelle_cemetery
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:27, archived)

Boyce might find this intetesting

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:40, archived)

If you ever go to Palermo and want to be freaked out
go to the Capuchin catacombs. Fucked up.
( $$ ✅, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 14:05, archived)

I read an interesting thing about French artists a while back having all sorts of strange things, plays, raves, films etc in the catacombs.
There was another group of them that made a squat-workshop and meticulously repaired a town hall clock.

I also read about some guy who took a camcorder down there and filmed himself going mad as he realised he'd got lost :(
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 14:21, archived)

It's always hot where you are
x
( $$ ✅, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:26, archived)

Ciao bella x

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:27, archived)

oh yeah? well I'M going to the park to catch some pokemon
so i think we know who the real winner is
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:33, archived)

I'm going to go there and read my book in a bit I reckon.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:34, archived)

I just caught a couple too!
Nothing new, but still
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:34, archived)

You can't bring them back to the UK , it's illegal

( mongychops, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:35, archived)

Oh GREAT

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:36, archived)

I still have no shiny carp

( mongychops, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:34, archived)

bowl to rhyme with gnoll and ing to rhyme with fling

i tend to favour the technique of going with fat spastics so i'm in with a chance (you can distract them with ice cream). also you can ask for the gutters to have a barrier erected and use a chute to launch the ball (or bowl)
( sock more tea vicar?, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:19, archived)

Bow as bow tie, or bow as in bow of a ship?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:23, archived)

bow as in bow tie or row a boat

( sock more tea vicar?, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:34, archived)

It's been a while, but Im not too bad actually.
Even better when they take them big snake things out the gutters!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:24, archived)

Id have guessed yoy have good ball handling.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:28, archived)

Im even good with the heavy ones!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 14:19, archived)

I always get bored and try and throw down as fast as I can

( $$ ✅, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:26, archived)

Oj, so you wanna throw down?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:28, archived)

I'll go toe to toe

( $$ ✅, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:30, archived)

well, if the glove fits...

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:33, archived)

I used to be alright back in the day when I played semi-regularly.
That's going back a bit now, mind.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:27, archived)

I think the last time I went was nearly 10 years ago.
I wasn't great. They knocked down the megabowl and the only other alley is a hellish affair at an amusements by the beach which has uv lighting and pounding crap dance music.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:31, archived)

i like bowling and i'm ok at it (pronounced 'bowling' by the way)
my highest score ever was some near miraculous game with the gf's family and i scored 213. never got close to that before or since though
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:31, archived)

also, because it was inevitable
frinkiac.com/video/S07E12/5S7vq203MCSK68E5wvHmpV952c8=.gif
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:32, archived)

I expected Maggie's perfect game

( mongychops, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:33, archived)

i considered it but he specifically mentioned pronunciation
my hands were tied
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:34, archived)

frinkiac.com/gif/S11E06/680360/683560.gif?b64lines=CiBJJ00gRE9JTkcgQSBXQUxLLU9OLiBJVCdTCiBBIFNIT1cgQlVTSU5FU1MgVEhJTkcuCg==
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:36, archived)

I expected that French cunt who seduced Marge

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:44, archived)

that's exactly what i expected

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 15:10, archived)

boughling

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:32, archived)

boffling?

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:34, archived)

Buffling surely?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:37, archived)

tough thought through though

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:54, archived)

i was using frank bough rules

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 14:42, archived)

like the bough of a tree?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 14:51, archived)

nope
www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BBWuwPOJKA
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 15:22, archived)

yep
dai.ly/x4snrhg
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 15:41, archived)

haha, fair enough
fucking hell, mark lamarr looks impossibly fresh-faced
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 15:56, archived)

I don't think I've bowled since I moved to Poland
which would be 13 years
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:43, archived)

To hit the middle pin I have to aim two pins to the right
I dunno if that makes me a genius or a retard
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:45, archived)

Are you adjusting your scope for the wind?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:48, archived)

Sound to me like his arm is moving in an arc as he swings the ball.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:50, archived)

well obvs
My arm isn't some sort of push-rod actuator. How else would I throw the ball?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:51, archived)

Don't be obtuse; you know I meant arcing in the horizontal axis.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:54, archived)

you meant his balls, right?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:57, archived)

I am terrible at bowling and I hate it

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 13:52, archived)

i haven't been in years
i'm not brilliant, but i average about 3 strikes a game
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 14:52, archived)

We're gonna score tonight, we're gonna score tonight.
We're gonna rock, we're gonna roll,
We're gonna bop, we're gonna bowl,
We're gonna score, score, score, score, score tonight!
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 14:52, archived)

so gay

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 14:52, archived)

so you're saying I should bet on dortmund, athletico and bayern?

( $$ ✅, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 14:57, archived)

defo


_{the tangledupinblue corporation takes no responsibility for any losses sustained following unthought out gambling advice}
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 14:58, archived)

nice

( $$ ✅, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 15:01, archived)

Disgusting

( mongychops, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 15:02, archived)

just a bit of good clean fun

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 15:19, archived)

It's this music of the devil that teaches young people about drugs.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 15:05, archived)

I'm high on life, brother

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 15:19, archived)

whatever next
www.watches.com/eone-bradley-watch
( mongychops, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 15:17, archived)

they'll be giving blind people the vote next

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 15:21, archived)

that's not aimed at blind people, it's aimed at pricks who want to be different and showy

( mongychops, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 15:23, archived)

there's some wakki shit in their attention seeking section

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 15:26, archived)

This you?
Coventry man?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Apr 2017, 15:27, archived)

it was only a joke

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 15:42, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 7:28, archived)

urgh that last thread was well gay

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 7:28, archived)

No. U r

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Apr 2017, 7:47, archived)

mongy calling me nice was the final straw

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 7:54, archived)

and kind, you are very kind

( mongychops, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 7:56, archived)

well yeah obvs, no argument there

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 7:58, archived)

And lully and fluffy like a babby duckling

( mongychops, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 8:16, archived)

nah, I'm not falling for that

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 8:17, archived)

here comes grrry
media3.giphy.com/media/krewXUB6LBja/giphy.gif
( mongychops, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 8:20, archived)

Looks like he's got rickets

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Apr 2017, 8:30, archived)

nah he's just fat now so he waddles a bit

( mongychops, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 8:32, archived)

13 1/4 stone this morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 8:35, archived)

rickets (n): tickets to see Rick Astley
"babe, since it's our anniversary and he wrote 'our' song, I got us rickets!"
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 9:25, archived)

can't you post pictures of kittens?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 8:34, archived)

ok, here comes grrry
media4.giphy.com/media/AiTAxk2kavgpa/giphy.gif
( mongychops, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 8:42, archived)

it's true, my hair is almost that colour

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 8:44, archived)

i.imgur.com/oeSCGJG.png
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 10:33, archived)

for those about to yawn
I salute you
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 7:34, archived)

I'm starting to understand the health freaks now
a nice walk and ten minutes of cycling and I feel properly awake now.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 7:45, archived)

how about a proper morning poo?

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 9:55, archived)

I am not regular with my pooing

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 10:20, archived)

I do a 30 minute walk to work every day. I'm still always tired.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 10:22, archived)

hi

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 7:43, archived)

alright drimble

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 7:45, archived)

y, u

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 8:10, archived)

fighting fit, m8

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 8:15, archived)

admittedly it's a fight I'm losing, a ha ha ha

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 8:16, archived)

Alright prick

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Apr 2017, 7:47, archived)

I bet you've already poked your willy in that tank cos you're so gay for old bikes

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 7:48, archived)

I've already sucked the dents out.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Apr 2017, 7:57, archived)

yer, that red one you wanted had a massive dent in the side too
at least you get to paint this one your own choice of color. Or the full rainbow, you massive homo
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 7:59, archived)

Well, it'll be red, because the v5 says red. And I'm not going through the ballache of changing the colour with the DVSA

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Apr 2017, 8:36, archived)

yeah, but there's a difference between tomato and candy apple and bordeau
I like red wine coloured cars, some of my favourites were that colour.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 8:39, archived)

red ones go faster

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 8:55, archived)

^ drives a UB40.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 9:01, archived)

Morning.
It's the last day of my perfume testing today.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 8:05, archived)

ponce

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 8:16, archived)

Are you the farmer?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 8:24, archived)

yer, that's prolly the least bent character in the film

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 8:31, archived)

hey hun hru?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 8:47, archived)

delish thanks how r u?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 8:59, archived)

well I don't like to complain ...

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 9:03, archived)

I do, go for it

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 9:05, archived)

nah, I'm boring myself now

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 9:09, archived)

greetings

( $$ ✅, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 8:54, archived)

hail and well met

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 9:00, archived)

bollocks

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 9:09, archived)

you mean his balls, right?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 9:10, archived)

tggi

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 9:23, archived)

thank god git's iday?

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 9:58, archived)

locks for your bols?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 9:15, archived)

:(
www.bolfoods.com/
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 9:23, archived)

lol, bol with the accent over the O
is the Polish word for "pain"
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 9:24, archived)

which is the French word for 'bread'

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 9:43, archived)

which is a slang term for 'money'

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 9:43, archived)

which is a Barrett Strong song covered by The Beatles

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 9:44, archived)

and the Flying Lizards

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 9:45, archived)

and here I am just to say you're a gizzard

( $$ ✅, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 9:47, archived)

which is the surname of an offally famous transvestite comedian.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 9:52, archived)

hmmm, innards

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 9:56, archived)

r u a wizard?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 9:55, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-i1XZc8ZwA
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 9:59, archived)

OK, you win this subthread.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 10:00, archived)

fuck yeah!

( $$ ✅, Wed 12 Apr 2017, 10:11, archived)

So, thanks to Grrrmachine I had to tell a parcel force man that my nickname is windy pig.
He was a bit funny about it, had to go back and get a second form of ID. Bloody parcel force prick.

You alright?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 11 Apr 2017, 21:09, archived)

Lols , I'd have done the same, but I've never been asked for id at the door, and i get Smith parcels

( mongychops, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 21:42, archived)

I had to go to the depot.
Bloody job
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 11 Apr 2017, 21:44, archived)

Get stuff delivered to work then

( mongychops, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 22:43, archived)

I would not want windy pig marked boxes at work.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 11 Apr 2017, 22:59, archived)

You're not the real Windy Pig!
Evening, all.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 21:57, archived)

Hi mm, m, wp.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 22:00, archived)

Drimmi

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 11 Apr 2017, 22:01, archived)

He said that he didn't believe windy pig was a name, but it might be a company and I might be stealing stock.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 11 Apr 2017, 22:01, archived)

Should've got it sent by yodel; they'd have fucked it into a hedge three doors down with no proof of ID.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 22:05, archived)

Benefit of hindsight

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 11 Apr 2017, 22:09, archived)

Still, probably better than giving Grrry your real name.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 22:07, archived)

Oh yeah. Course.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 11 Apr 2017, 22:09, archived)

I'm great thanks.
Just curious what kind of stuff you send to each other. Interesting things I'll warrant.
( Shlvng, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 22:22, archived)

Nah, I own a crappy old motorbike from 70s czechoslavakia
He lives in Poland and got parts for me as they're more readily available. His kindness probably saved me at least a hundred quid, if not more.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 11 Apr 2017, 22:23, archived)

He is kind, and nice

( mongychops, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 22:31, archived)

Grrr is in an eastern Muslim trafficking gang, Semtex, Isis, windy pig buys it all

( mongychops, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 22:28, archived)

No real names please

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 11 Apr 2017, 22:29, archived)

Hey

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 20:45, archived)

+I am a massive g

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 21:53, archived)

what cheers you up?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 13:22, archived)

Loads of stuff.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 11 Apr 2017, 13:30, archived)

my faith in God

( $$ ✅, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 13:32, archived)

you mean his balls, right?

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:08, archived)

obvs

( $$ ✅, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:21, archived)

peace and quiet
I've just properly clogged the shitter
( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 13:36, archived)

was it a "major turd"?

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 13:41, archived)

not half, finally sank the bastard after the 9th flush

( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:02, archived)

Someone left 'bangers and mash'
In one of the work traps today. I'm not even sure they tried to flush it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:00, archived)

I've seen that before. Clatty fuckers.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 15:35, archived)

Watching vieos of the children of total strangers on Twitter.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 13:43, archived)

Alright Spanishfly

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:12, archived)

lol
Hello, friend.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 15:16, archived)

Ybf

( mongychops, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 13:44, archived)

whatever happened to rose?

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 13:52, archived)

She was here the other week

( mongychops, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 13:53, archived)

good. i'm glad she hasn't forgotten us

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:03, archived)

i'm not sure
what's the opposite of a youtube lego tutorial video?
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 13:52, archived)

grown men in costumes pretending to fight each other
in a big sweaty melodrama for children and rednecks, it would seem.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 15:22, archived)

cool, i'll go with that then

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 15:50, archived)

fuck all

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 13:53, archived)

A cup of tea and a slice of cake.
No cake for you, though, tubby.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 13:56, archived)

yeah yeah rub it in why don't you

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 13:57, archived)

Good news, you won't put any weight on, that way.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:02, archived)

"you're not on the moon yet"
frinkiac.com/img/S08E25/165848.jpg
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 13:58, archived)

i'm afraid that this episode won't be 20 years old until the 18th of may
disqualified
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:03, archived)

Have you pinpointed the exact date when The Simpsons stopped being funny?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:09, archived)

not me, no
but i'm reliably informed that it was 20 years ago
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:12, archived)

Sounds about right, though.
I take season 12 as a rough cutoff point, and that must be nigh on twenty years.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:27, archived)

according to this it was season 8
graphtv.kevinformatics.com/tt0096697
( $$ ✅, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:30, archived)

Can't argue with a chart.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:33, archived)

woah, what a nosedive!

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:33, archived)

I refuse to watch anything beyond season 8

( $$ ✅, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:37, archived)

woah lordy
nosedive mayonnaise
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:38, archived)

^dick

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:42, archived)

lol, "dick"

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:48, archived)

The guy that runs simpsonsqotd on twitter reckons homer's enemy was the beginning of the end.
And yet it has the highest rating.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:51, archived)

I do like the new york one a lot

( $$ ✅, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:58, archived)

Mountain Dew or Crab Juice?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:59, archived)

I think he might have a point.
It's a funny episode, but it does go out of it's way to be mean-spirited, and allows the show to be excessively self-referential.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:58, archived)

there are shit episodes in the early days and good ones in the newer series
i don't see why there has to be a point where it 'stops being funny'
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 15:17, archived)

autistic nerds can only deal in binary

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 15:23, archived)

to be honest you guys are lucky i come on here and try to enlighten you all. a lot of people in my position wouldn't bother, but don't forget your roots; that's what i say. i'm like a shepherd tending to his wayward flock.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 15:25, archived)

They love hexadecimal too

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 15:26, archived)

blue-haired nonce

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 15:27, archived)

Lulz

( mongychops, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 15:32, archived)

that's a shame

( $$ ✅, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:29, archived)

i know, but there it is

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:31, archived)

Alright worzel

( mongychops, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:08, archived)

Taking the first pull from a fresh recoil and rewick with new juice #vapelyf #rdaorgtfo #mechmodmr

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:03, archived)

a friend of mine vapes and i went into the local vape shop with him
it was one of the wankiest places i've ever seen
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:07, archived)

Just imagine a vegetarian vaper who does Crossfit.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:33, archived)

new records
and everyone fucking off and leaving me in peace
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:18, archived)

RIP

( $$ ✅, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:22, archived)

graduating from bovine university

( $$ ✅, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:38, archived)

well done mat8!

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:43, archived)

thanks
now I'm a MSc Bovinologist
( $$ ✅, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 14:50, archived)

planning really vicious revenge
and knitting
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 15:16, archived)

upset smasho and you'll end up wearing a really itchy scarf

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 15:26, archived)

in a rather natty noose motif

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 15:30, archived)

I need to buy some replacement wiper blades for my car.
Car chat, anyone?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:11, archived)

Get Bluetooth ones that are synched to the beat of your car stereo.
Listening to ambient chillout music in the pouring rain and crashing into things is well lol.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:15, archived)

Might add some LEDs to them, obliterate my night vision.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:18, archived)

you mean your balls, right?

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:22, archived)

If you know a better way to clean the windscreen, I'd like to hear it.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:28, archived)

/dragons den

( sock more tea vicar?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:18, archived)

have you tried wiping them with vinegar?

( sock more tea vicar?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:18, archived)

you mean his balls, right?

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:22, archived)

ok mr balls fetish, easy now

( sock more tea vicar?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:25, archived)

it's a "dank" "meme"

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:37, archived)

dank (adjective): unpleasantly damp and cold
You mean my balls, right?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:40, archived)

I have not, no.
They do get a wipe down when the car is washed (so, once, maybe twice each year), but I'd not thought to season them.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:23, archived)

vinegar is nature's only wiper blade cure, check haynes manuals for full details

( sock more tea vicar?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:25, archived)

I haven't owned a Haynes manual for quite a while.
I used to be quite fastidious about buying them, but then I got the Multipla, and they didn't do one for that, and it broke the habit.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:31, archived)

You bought a Multipla?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:52, archived)

good god.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:52, archived)

Yeah.
Very practical, and quite fun, but guzzled petrol, and was just wide enough to be a magnet for prangs.
If memory serves, there was only the Multipla and the Honda FRV that met our requirements to have 3 full size rear seats and not be significantly longer than a normal car.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:58, archived)

But fucking dreadful to look at.
The only car to actually give me a headache.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:01, archived)

I quite liked it.
Was a shame when they redesigned the front.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:04, archived)

I think it's an abomination visually as well.
Looks like a gigantic metal duck's head or something.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:44, archived)

And now I have one of these:
www.theaa.com/images/allaboutcars/testreports/2009116_peugeot_partnertepee_main.jpg
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:02, archived)

How often do drunk people try and hail it?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:07, archived)

lol
Was genuinely gutted that we couldn't lay our hands on the seven seat version.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:09, archived)

And sticking them in the oven overnight

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:28, archived)

ymhb,r?

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:37, archived)

just smash the windscreen out
then you'll always be able to see clearly
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:21, archived)

Smash it out with my balls, yeah?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:42, archived)

wipe them with graphite lube
it'll keep them soft for longer
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:22, archived)

you mean his balls, right?

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:22, archived)

always

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:27, archived)

don't buy shit ones
because they're shit
( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:25, archived)

it's better to buy cheapies and swap them every six months
than to splash out on bosch ones and run them well past their useful life just because you qant to squeeze every penny out of them
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:28, archived)

you mean his balls, right?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:31, archived)

I think I've got Bosch ones on at present,
mainly because I don't entirely trust Halfords to not make their own brand stuff crap by design.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:35, archived)

They don't wipe as well tho

( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:06, archived)

You can't go on
Thinking nothing's wrong
Who's gonna drive you home tonight
( $$ ✅, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:26, archived)

Get out of my dreams...

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:28, archived)

alright 'tina gray'

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:38, archived)

funny i just did my insurance, fully comp, all the perks, 236 quid, it's good to be old

( mongychops, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:30, archived)

I got the RAC to knock my breakdown cover down from ludicrous to acceptable, the other week.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:33, archived)

that's weird
grrrmo did the same thing and it cost forty thousand pounds
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:36, archived)

it did shoot up to 200 quid on my Jag last year from 160

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:39, archived)

Shouldn't have ticked the box for eagle blood printing

( mongychops, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:41, archived)

comes as standard on all Polish documentation m8
thumbs.dreamstime.com/x/polish-passport-4981876.jpg
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:44, archived)

It's the hidden extras

( mongychops, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:40, archived)

you mean my balls, right?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:36, archived)

If you put wiper blades up your bum.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:37, archived)

That's a blade nobody wants to study

( mongychops, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:42, archived)

while you were out driving in the rain
I studied the wiper blade
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:42, archived)

Grrry and mongy, sitting in a tree,
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:47, archived)

K F
S H
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:48, archived)

tree bivvy
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:50, archived)

H T
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 11:50, archived)

awww
twitter.com/shumskordei/status/850822335443718144
( mongychops, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:08, archived)

OMG! Tyler Posey is sooooo hawt!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:13, archived)

yeah dunno what you are on about, i just watched the bit with the baby

( mongychops, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:16, archived)

"everybody hands go up"
I'm upset by the lack of Saxon genitive, but I'm not "I LITERALLY CANT STOP CRYING" upset. Was this baby killed in the Syrian gas attack, or something?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:30, archived)

i'd just move on, you appear to be hard of understanding

( mongychops, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:33, archived)

Grrry's counting calories, mcbeef's mooning about his wedding, and now you're getting broody.
It's like mumsnet on here, today.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:43, archived)

two boiled eggs have as many calories as 4 rashers of bacon

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:45, archived)

The "Cool Hand Luke" Diet.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:53, archived)

I'll have to trick some bird to get me up the duff

( mongychops, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:53, archived)

"I literally can't even" is just filler in 'Murican yoofspeak these days.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:34, archived)

Like, for sure.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:40, archived)

<s>ive</s> als

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:34, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8066438
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:37, archived)

Well, obvs

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:45, archived)

What a wasted opportunity
b3ta.com/talk/5318008
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:55, archived)

All the idiots decrying swaddling as cruel are rather amusing, though.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:35, archived)

Isn't that lovely

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:14, archived)

needs the sound to really work, but yeah cute

( mongychops, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:17, archived)

@shumskordei needs to calm down a bit but yeah, it's a cute video

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:19, archived)

i didn't read any of the comments, i just thought it was dawwwww

( mongychops, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:27, archived)

It's like that hedgehog or loris or whatever it is that sticks its arms up and looks cute but is in fact terrified innit.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:22, archived)

i don't think anyone is pulling a gun on it, i could be wrong

( mongychops, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:28, archived)

"British actor Peter Egan" says that the baby is gathering venom from it's elbow glands:
www.news.com.au/lifestyle/home/pets/animal-rights-campaign-urges-people-to-discourage-slow-loris-tickling-videos/news-story/6931759ef9772df816b041a66891e16e

'member Ever Decreasing Circles, eh?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:50, archived)

man, i wish i had venomous elbow glands

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 13:02, archived)

Lick them to see

( mongychops, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 13:08, archived)

*makes fool of self*

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 13:43, archived)

It would make getting to the front of a queue a piece of piss.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 13:13, archived)

what a revolting infant

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 12:23, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 7:30, archived)

You're a loose cannon, Grrrmachine!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 7:32, archived)

They* call me Maverick
*no-one
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 7:40, archived)

Mel Gibson or James Garner?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 8:22, archived)

I'll go for Gibson

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 8:34, archived)

Morning.
Burnt my tongue on some too-hot mushroom rice last night. What else is too hot?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 7:57, archived)

this body, you knows it

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 8:06, archived)

in b4 spanishfly

( $$ ✅, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 8:27, archived)

I feel sorry for him
I think he just lets substance abuse get the better of him
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 8:34, archived)

has he not been banned yet?

( mongychops, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 8:38, archived)

Morning.
Not.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 11 Apr 2017, 8:32, archived)

^ a river in Egypt

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 8:33, archived)

lol, like Borat!

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 8:35, archived)

Lol, he was funny.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 11 Apr 2017, 8:36, archived)

NOT!

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 8:52, archived)

ok let's just get this over with

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 8:36, archived)

break it up into pomidoros and reward yourself every 30 mins

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 8:51, archived)

Today is going swimmingly.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 8:42, archived)

you're kicking your legs like a United airlines passenger but still at risk of imminent death ?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 8:52, archived)

This sums it up.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 8:54, archived)

I weighed myself this morning and I'd gained half a pound and got a bit disheartened
but I've just had a massive shit and the scales say it was a pound, so that's a brown victory in my book.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 8:59, archived)

Why are you shitting on the scales.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 11 Apr 2017, 9:03, archived)

I'm asserting my dominance
that LCD screen isn't the boss of me
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 9:08, archived)

Who was it who weighed himself every day for a year and took stool poundage into account?
Was it Benjamin Franklin?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 9:12, archived)

Imma take up the John Lining diet
"Lining investigated his own body as a possible barometer for meteorological change. For a year, in 1741 and 1742, he measured and weighed his intake of solids and fluids as well as his bodily excretions - urine, stools, and somehow, perspiration; he also weighed himself day and night, took his pulse twice daily, and unflaggingly continued with his meteorological observations. At the end of the year, he sent all the data to the Royal Society of London, along with his favourite recipe for rum punch, which according to his charts he consumed in impressive quantities (as much as eighty-five ounces daily)."
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 9:17, archived)

That's the chap I was thinking of.
Will you be including the two and a half litres of rum punch a day?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 9:29, archived)

too much sugar :(

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 9:49, archived)

What's fudge packing got to do with weight loss?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 9:21, archived)

Tina Turnerzzzzz

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 9:56, archived)

how fat are you then?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 9:15, archived)

It was when the scales hit 87 kg after a beery weekend that I said enough was enough and started dieting
Post-poo I was 84.7kg.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 9:18, archived)

The morning thread has been cancelled.
There will be no replacement service.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 7:26, archived)

Afternoon MoMu

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 7:28, archived)

Ok, you've been asked to go on Mastermind
What's your specialist subject?
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 20:16, archived)

(^(^;;^)^) CURDS'N'WHEY!
(^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 10 Apr 2017, 20:28, archived)

wee wee

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 20:32, archived)

france?

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 21:48, archived)

Anna may Wong

( mongychops, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 20:42, archived)

Tits

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 20:50, archived)

question one: what are the best tits?

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 21:49, archived)

Gatwick's quiet this time of day

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 3:20, archived)

Most places are probably pretty quiet at 3am, Two Hats.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 6:29, archived)

There's been a mistake, I never applied to be on Mastermind.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 20:55, archived)

Series 4-10 of the Simpsons.
Reckon I could probs do film noirs as well.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 20:59, archived)

Delayed appearances

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 10 Apr 2017, 21:08, archived)

alright jaction

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 21:49, archived)

dunno

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 21:45, archived)

an abstract concept

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 21:45, archived)

By the time this evening's over, my subject may well be "Switches that can be applied to the XCOPY command".
Still, I seem to be curing myself of the rose-tinted view of MS-DOS that I have long held.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 22:13, archived)

Ooh.
I recently had to make one if our Solaris boxes tar | gzip | ssh because the tape backups are fucked and our data center staff are about as useful as a handbrake on a canoe.

Thanks to stupid cunting metrics we can get internally fined for not doing backups yet there's no accountability for the wankers in the data center.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 22:55, archived)

I'm feel certain that "Backup chat" will be the topic that unites the board.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 11 Apr 2017, 7:12, archived)

zionist conspiracy

( $$ ✅, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 22:35, archived)

I didn't believe in the Zionist conspiracy,
but their comprehensive takedown of Ken Livingstone proves everything.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 22:45, archived)

exactly

( $$ ✅, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 22:45, archived)

I went to see Run the Jewels last week and it was full of beardy dweebs.
Hippety Hop: officially for dweebs.

What else is for dweebs? You'd know ahahahahaha.
(ian rush's inadequate flushes, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 18:04, archived)

rude dog box set

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 18:05, archived)

I don't know what this means.
Shall I pretend so that I look like a cool dweeb?
(ian rush's inadequate flushes, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 18:12, archived)

yeah, if you like

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 18:16, archived)

Blatant lies.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 18:26, archived)

For hipsters
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 18:23, archived)

This was discussed recently and I came to the conclusion I'm an accidental hipster.
Overnight oats.

Make own chilli sauce, store it in a mason jar.

'Upcycle' old coffee jars/big jars for storing other things like cous cous and rice.

Have a cast iron pan I'm rather fond of.

Actually now I think of it I might just be a nan rather than a hipster.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 18:29, archived)

What sort of prick buys coffee in jars?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 18:38, archived)