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# newsletter subject line compo
Last week rhinoceros moaned, 'The headline about Moyles is lame and anomalously mainstream. I hope next week's will be better.' Hmm, so can we do better this week? We need to keep this rhinoceros character happy.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:25, archived)
# Badgerflange-piddleflaps.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:27, archived)
# How did you guess my password?
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:56, archived)
# *hacks account*
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:57, archived)
# Oi!
You leave my Romanian upper classes alone!
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:04, archived)
# Sesame Street the other morning:
"Ha ha, I am the Count, because I count. And also because I inherited the title from my aristocratic father"
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:21, archived)
# Fucking a Rhinocerous with a Double Milliband
All The Way!!11!
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:27, archived)
# FISTING 4 JESUS
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:28, archived)
# Tittypiss flungepump
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:28, archived)
# I see we think alike.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:31, archived)
# Hahahahahahahaha
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:32, archived)
# I don't feel so alone now....
*stalks*
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:42, archived)
# Ed Milliband diagnosed with Fratraphilia
(I helped save b3ta! yanmania... last shagged your mum on, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:28, archived)
# THAT RHINOCEROS GMTRFH
(I helped save b3ta! Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:29, archived)
# BRAKE MALFUNCTION WARNING
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:29, archived)
# i'm horny. horny. horny. horny
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:29, archived)
# Some like it hot, so fire up the crem.
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:32, archived)
# Is this in any way connected...
...with the recent demise of Tony Curtis?

If so - have a [click].
(minimalist ..., Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:09, archived)
# You're the lucky 1,000,000th Miliband poster *click here* no joke etc
milionbandth
milibandth
millionbandth
*gives up*
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:32, archived)
# Keep our rhinoceros happy - anesthetise the fucker before cutting his horn off.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:32, archived)
# Kim unveils successor to stunned Mel
(benito vaselini no not that one, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:32, archived)
# Oh yes
That'll shut him up
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:34, archived)
# pfft
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:40, archived)
# Que?
Edit: Ah. I need to read the news more.
(Cylon Bum Raider already knows how this will end, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:38, archived)
# DZIEŃ DOBRY PANOWIE
(PanSowa, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:32, archived)
# What do you get if you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?
A viral YouTube video.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:32, archived)
# The same stuff as last week but now it's a compo
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:34, archived)
# Now with 20% more puns on the Steve Miller Band
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:34, archived)
# Scrapping the bus lane of the information super highway
or,

Occupying the scrapped bus lane of the information super highway
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:35, archived)
# the b3ta newslestter: now with free drumstick lolly
(I helped save b3ta! connor, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:35, archived)
# I like this one.
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:49, archived)
# B3TA: AS LAME AND ANOMALOUSLY MAINSTREAM AS YOUR MUM, YOU VEGAN, ANARCHIST, IRONIC-QUIFFED CUNT
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:37, archived)
# haha
definitely this one
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:46, archived)
# This!
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:50, archived)
# Ha ha ha
(I helped save b3ta! ERG1008 is climbing in yo windows & snatchin yo people up, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:51, archived)
# yes!
(I helped save b3ta! Damien's Hearse, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:09, archived)
# Making less sense than Lorem Ipsum
(I helped save b3ta! BleachedEgo draw a cdc then get back to your teen porn.Pricks, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:38, archived)
# Skidding into your inbox like George Michael in a BMW
www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-11452486
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:39, archived)
# Pffft.
Also: www.b3ta.com/board/10205771
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:40, archived)
# Finding your name on the leaked porn database IN THE NAME OF MOVIE FIELD.
(I helped save b3ta! yanmania... last shagged your mum on, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:40, archived)
# Mediocre Intruders IV
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:50, archived)
# The best of the franchise
by a long chalk
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:04, archived)
# Although Mediocre Intruders VI
has that wonderful scene where the Belgian Finance Minister feeds handfuls of old Guilder notes into the dripping, pulsating pusspuss of the Dutch Queen.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:13, archived)
# Hahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:40, archived)
# Make Poverty History: Bomb Aldi.
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:42, archived)
# the internet's not as funny as it used to be
whiny proof inside
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:45, archived)
# DIARRHOEA
(I helped save b3ta! Ysol ab abl blap, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:48, archived)
# Bum, tit, tit, bum, tit, tit, play the Milliband
I'm so sorry
(I helped save b3ta! ERG1008 is climbing in yo windows & snatchin yo people up, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:50, archived)
# THE B3TA NEWSLETTER: CONTENTS JUDGED SOLELY BY HOW "ALTERNATIVE" THEY ARE, AS OPPOSED TO HUMOUR
Including vouchers for Alanis Morissette concerts, drum n bass and minor details about an upcoming politically pointless, ill-conceived, underinformed protest in a field. Nothing is achieved but at least you look cool in front of your "alternative" mates, so that's something.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:52, archived)
# This is a great alternative subject line.
Also: Is that ironic?

(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:53, archived)
# it is, don't you think?
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:54, archived)
# Yes, I really cannot see an alternative.
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:55, archived)
# I lack a knife, yet suffer from a profusion, nay, a plethora of spoons.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:55, archived)
# I also paid for a Hackney carriage in advance, but was offered a lift without payment.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:56, archived)
# A rather nervous friend of mine
unfortunately perished in a rare aeroplane accident, after forcing himself to fly.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:58, archived)
# It was also somewhat inclement on the day of my wedding.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:00, archived)
# I also made the mistake of refusing to heed the advice of a chap I knew.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:01, archived)
# I also had a dream about a fellow and when I met him, I found his wife's appearance to be most pleasant.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:03, archived)
# I found a small, flying insect in my red wine, too.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:04, archived)
# hahaha
great work
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:07, archived)
# The only ironic thing in there...
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:09, archived)
# drum n bass?
(I helped save b3ta! Damien's Hearse, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:15, archived)
# IS THE RIVER KELVIN TOO MAINSTREAM FOR YOU?
(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:54, archived)
# I liked the river kelvin when it was a minor tributary
(I helped save b3ta! yanmania... last shagged your mum on, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:57, archived)
# What about White Cart Water?
It's pretty unknown and comes from a bad area
(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:01, archived)
# Selling a Gold plated, Diamoned encrusted Segway: For a millionaire it's just a drop in the ocean
(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:56, archived)
# No. YOUR mum.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:57, archived)
# YOUR IP IS ON A LIST OF 10,000 PEOPLE SUSPECTED OF DOWNLOADING CHICKS WITH DICKS ON POGOSTICKS IV ILLEGALLY
(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 12:59, archived)
# rhinoceros makes me moist
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:10, archived)
# Gives you the horn?
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:11, archived)
# I can take it
I'm thick skinned
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:16, archived)
# They'll charge you.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:17, archived)
# I'll have surgery so they don't find me
how much for a rhinoplasty
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:24, archived)
# If an infinite number of monkeys were fed bananas laced with laxatives
they would eventually spray out this newsletter in rancid simian diarrhoea
(I helped save b3ta! Biffins Bridge, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 13:11, archived)
# Square peg goes into rectangular hole
(oodles, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 12:23, archived)