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# When I rang the customer careline they merely laughed it off as a practical joke
(I helped save b3ta! sp3ktor - no,.. I don't know either, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:50, archived)
# GENIUS!
that's bloody great that is.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:51, archived)
# it's not?
you really need help?
(screamingchicken, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:51, archived)
# Fantastic
And may I just add that Mr Front Page is looking particularly spiffing this day!
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:52, archived)
# isn't it.
i *will* get on again one day.
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:56, archived)
# Pffft
Morning fella! You cheered up today?
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:58, archived)
# i am in fine fettle today
i even made a picture of me riverdancing. *down there* somewhere...
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Thu 29 May 2003, 14:00, archived)
# I just spazzed
It's rather woo!
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Thu 29 May 2003, 14:02, archived)
# now i just have to find someone to bribe
to put it on the frontpage ;)

i can see myself wasting all afternoon doing them. which has to be a good thing, if only for me...
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Thu 29 May 2003, 14:06, archived)
# Now why the hell don't Trebor bring out such sweets?
Depressed
Self-harming
Abuse
I'm your stalker
I can see you
Etc.
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:52, archived)
# "I'm watching you right now"
is one that would be a saver
(I helped save b3ta! sp3ktor - no,.. I don't know either, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:53, archived)
# "stop touching me"
(martian, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:54, archived)
# "I can smell your spicy brains"
(I helped save b3ta! GR33DY, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:54, archived)
# mmmmmm
spicy bra-a-ains
(I helped save b3ta! .spanky is singing "PEANUTS!", Thu 29 May 2003, 13:56, archived)
# 'i'm wanking as i write this'
(I helped save b3ta! Spoon, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:54, archived)
# There is absolutely no phrase,
essay, book, letter or condolence in the entire world that cannot be improved by the addition of the words "p.s. I'm wanking as I write this."
(Lambkin, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:57, archived)
# 110% of
FACT
(martian, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:58, archived)
# I'll drink to that.
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:58, archived)
# i'll set the
email server at work so that it adds it to all outgoing mail
(I helped save b3ta! Spoon, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:59, archived)
# rolling on rolf laughing
:D
(I helped save b3ta! lemonhead, Thu 29 May 2003, 14:00, archived)
# Dear Mrs. Smith,
I'm sorry to have to inform you that your son was killed in action on Tuesday. He died a heroes death.

Yours sincerely,

General Quentin Watt.

P.S. I am wanking as I write this.
(I helped save b3ta! GR33DY, Thu 29 May 2003, 14:00, archived)
# Dear Mr Jones
I am sorry to say that your recent application for the position of Accountant has been unsuccessful. As you can imagine, there was a great amount of interest in this job, so a lot of people unfortunately had to be disappointed.

We would of course appreciate hearing from you should another position arise.

Yours sincerely,
Ed Morrish
HR Director,
Morrish, Brown and Wightman.

PS I am wanking as I write this.
(martian, Thu 29 May 2003, 14:05, archived)
# This is the funniest thread I have ever seen
FACT!
(I helped save b3ta! lemonhead, Thu 29 May 2003, 14:06, archived)
# Today's Special
Pan-Roasted Sea Bass and Ginger

P.S. I'm wanking as I write this
(I helped save b3ta! lemonhead, Thu 29 May 2003, 14:11, archived)
# Spooks
The new series. Starts June 9th on BBC1.
MI5, not 9 to 5.

PS I am Wanking as I write this.
(martian, Thu 29 May 2003, 14:13, archived)
# seconded
(I helped save b3ta! Reverend Dan, Thu 29 May 2003, 14:11, archived)
# yes, yes, yes.
(I helped save b3ta! GR33DY, Thu 29 May 2003, 14:07, archived)
# Dear Mrs Peters
You will be pleased to know that we are able start your fertility treatment as soon as a suitable donor is available.

Dr Boris
London Fertility Clinic

PS I am wanking as i write this
(I helped save b3ta! Spoon, Thu 29 May 2003, 14:14, archived)
# Dear Mr Ince
You might already have won £10,000! Yes, *you*, Mr Ince, have been entered into a SPECIAL PRIZE DRAW where you might have won a CASH PRIZE £10,000, £1,000, or £100! To claim your prize call this number and quote the reference "NH4TT2".

0820 90 50 70

Ian Jackson,
Prize Draw Co-Ordinator
Millennium Awards Inc.

PS I am wanking as I write this.
(martian, Thu 29 May 2003, 14:18, archived)
# 2 extra pints and a loaf please
Thanks!
No 42

P.S. I'm wanking as I write this
(I helped save b3ta! lemonhead, Thu 29 May 2003, 14:20, archived)
# ........and as I
look back on my sexual adventures in holland, they are with great memories


P.S. I'm wanking as I write this
(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 29 May 2003, 15:54, archived)
# good
lad
(I helped save b3ta! .spanky is singing "PEANUTS!", Mon 2 Jun 2003, 10:04, archived)
# testing
testing
(I helped save b3ta! johnvile dsfadsfgafgf, Sat 14 Jun 2003, 20:00, archived)
# "Solidified
jism"
(I helped save b3ta! pxyzyzygy, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:55, archived)
# mmmm
crunchy
(I helped save b3ta! Pootle, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:58, archived)
# hahahahaha
and hahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! lemonhead, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:52, archived)
# Ah ha ha ha haaa!
Madness!
(I helped save b3ta! King Ralph is drunk, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:52, archived)
# very very good
indeed.

oh and did I say ROFLFLFLFLFLFMOALFLFAOMF
(I helped save b3ta! .spanky is singing "PEANUTS!", Thu 29 May 2003, 13:52, archived)
# Gee
nee us
(BadgerJuice, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:53, archived)
# fantastic!
woo!
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:53, archived)
# 'Kin 'ell!
(I helped save b3ta! pxyzyzygy, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:54, archived)
# thats wonderful!
genius sir! genius!
(I helped save b3ta! the_fabulous_dancing_yak You like game? You come see 5punk.co.uk. You like!, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:54, archived)
# nice
w/y/h
h/y/w
w/h/y
y/h/w
y/w/h
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:54, archived)
# woo yay houpla
hoo yay woupla
woo hay youpla
yay hoo woupla
yay woo houpla
(I helped save b3ta! GR33DY, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:57, archived)
# yes
w/y/h
(I helped save b3ta! Kamikazee Killmouse, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:57, archived)
# Now *that* is
art.
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:57, archived)
# Is that
Veruca Salt calling
(Hibbyz Erm, what do I do with this then?, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:57, archived)
# Now that..
...Is fucking genius. That's a woo, yay, right there.
(thermal_assault, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:57, archived)
# Fantasmagorical
that's what that is.
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Thu 29 May 2003, 13:58, archived)
# the best
I've seen in a long time
(I helped save b3ta! Slim has found god. He was down the back of the sofa., Thu 29 May 2003, 15:39, archived)
# A few hours late, I know
but that is one of the best pics I've ever seen
(I helped save b3ta! Milkman Dan, Thu 29 May 2003, 16:54, archived)
# Thats....
Ver' ver' ver' good :)
(I helped save b3ta! profaniti, Thu 29 May 2003, 18:19, archived)