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# LEGAL ADVICE PLEASE, B3TA!


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This week, as most weeks, there are various stolen funnies from b3ta.
However; this issue contains a picture of my private parts to which I own the copyright.
Not only has said international publication printed a picture of my penis, but they have stolen it also.
This picture was taken when I was 16 years old.

In light of above facts, what should I do, b3ta?
Let's not get carried away with 'ZOMG!!!1 SUE THEM LOL!!!1!'.

Special thanks to Riverghost and cr3 for the heads-up.

(Dooley, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 17:57, archived)
# ZOMG!!!1 SUE THEM LOL!!!1!
/obvious
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 17:58, archived)
# ^this
Definately.
(I helped save b3ta! Dimrill HMS Average Nostril, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 17:59, archived)
# ^ This.
Hard.
(I helped save b3ta! Tesco Quality 60.825659, -0.788337, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 17:59, archived)
# ^that!
& shoot them. WITH GUNS.
(I helped save b3ta! Cae1, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:07, archived)
# ^the other
in the bum!
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 19:25, archived)
# Shop your asshole and see what happens.
Edit: Someone here replied to a riverghost thread about their mum being a lawyer. It sounds daft, but why not just ask her for advice?

Edit2: Ah found it. See below...
(I helped save b3ta! collapsibletank procreates, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 17:58, archived)
# *stands behind collapsibletank with camera in hand nodding enthusiastically*
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 17:59, archived)
# Oi.
(Dooley, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 17:59, archived)
# kill some one?
Try with that chap looking at your from beyond the mirror.
(I helped save b3ta! Duncoffin is life., Tue 24 Jul 2007, 17:59, archived)
# 1. Put cock on web
2. ...
3. Profit?
(I helped save b3ta! Hamster Trippin' aka Mr. Titts, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 17:59, archived)
# oh go on then
Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:01, archived)
# Pffft!
:)
(I helped save b3ta! Hamster Trippin' aka Mr. Titts, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:03, archived)
# Legal advice? from b3ta??
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *dies*
(I helped save b3ta! M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 17:59, archived)
# ZOMG
we have seen this, so my advice would be delete the post and conduct your business in private whilst taking legal; advice.
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 17:59, archived)
# tell them you were 15
(I helped save b3ta! Bazmonkey baws!, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 17:59, archived)
# and female
(I helped save b3ta! M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:00, archived)
# 14
(I helped save b3ta! Tesco Quality 60.825659, -0.788337, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:00, archived)
# Evil!
Do this! DO THIS!
(I helped save b3ta! Dimrill HMS Average Nostril, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:00, archived)
# Only proof I have that the original pic is mine
is the "Date Created" under properties i.e. It'd be earlier than anyone else who claims it's theirs.
(Dooley, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:00, archived)
# *changes date on PC*
*right-click saves*
*claims ownership*
*profits*
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:01, archived)
# You should have another step after *claims ownership*
*...*
(I helped save b3ta! Lazlo Woodbine Panowie!, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:06, archived)
# 'deposits dna'
by any chance?
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:29, archived)
# No bullshit.
I'm an old fella, retired businessman. Well versed in corporate bullshit. Let me know if you'd like some help in a pre-legal manner. I'm pretty good at shaking the tree plus I already have legal council on retainer.

Seriously. I'll open the initial discourse if you would feel intimidated by it.
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:17, archived)
# I love it when you talk dirty.
(I helped save b3ta! Spazzcat jam out with your clam out, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:28, archived)
# I've got the bollocks for every
occasion miss.
and a big cock.
Why did I have to turn out fucking ginger?
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:31, archived)
# To compensate for your blessings in other areas?
Karma is all about balance.
(I helped save b3ta! Spazzcat jam out with your clam out, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:34, archived)
# I'll balance them right in
the cunt if I ever get my hands on them.
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:37, archived)
# and were raped
by Johnx1
(Pavlov'sDog is all out of pavlova, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:01, archived)
# do it do it.....they will shit their crazy pants
hahahahahhaaahhhh fuckin bril solution
(I helped save b3ta! Hummel Who died and made you....oh wait...., Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:04, archived)
# gaz riverghost, he wanted to talk to you
about exactly that
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:00, archived)
# We talked:P
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:27, archived)
# *playing devil's advocate*
as you already published this pic in the public domain with no attached copyright to it, I'm not sure you have a leg to stand on.

I may (hopefully) be wrong


You may now all begin the beating
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:01, archived)
# common misconception
the internet is not public domain. You can post images on the internet and still retain 100% copyright ownership. Most of the images posted on here are illegal, because we use other peoples images with only minor alterations, but we're rebels so we don't care.

Rar!

*knocks over a lamp*

*puts it upright again and skulks away*
(I helped save b3ta! Damocles wants no part of your debauchery, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:21, archived)
# Its not illegal
You are allowed to use an image for the purpose of parody.
(I helped save b3ta! BadBadman saw an incorrect comma placement on, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 19:11, archived)
# THE PUBIC DOMAIN
(Slurpy The Frog, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:34, archived)
# Here...
www.b3ta.com/board/7436075
(I helped save b3ta! collapsibletank procreates, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:01, archived)
#
runs cleans
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:03, archived)
# No idea on actual legal advice
but in this case there can be no doubt that you own the copyright since it is you and you haven't used any other copyrighted images to produce it (I assume all the bits stuck to you you actually made) which is the usual argument.

I would try calling them or writing to them advising that they have used your likeness (pfft) and at least try and blag a Wii off them.

If that doesn't work then I would suggest ZOMG!!!1 SUE THEM LOL!!!1!
(I helped save b3ta! Lazlo Woodbine Panowie!, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:04, archived)
# It's technically child porn as you were under 18.
You could get them in very, VERY big trouble.

Then again B3ta would probably get in trouble too.
(I helped save b3ta! Spazzcat jam out with your clam out, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:05, archived)
# Shhhh
Also I have been reading profiles of people and see that you keep rats. I have rats too, we should be friends.

Please be my friend. Please.

I have all my mentals.
(I helped save b3ta! Lazlo Woodbine Panowie!, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:08, archived)
# Ok I'll be your friend
Us rat people should stick together!

seeing how how nobody else likes us beause of the smell
(I helped save b3ta! Spazzcat jam out with your clam out, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:14, archived)
# and there was you trying to blame Jordan
Now the truth comes out
(I helped save b3ta! Bazmonkey baws!, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:26, archived)
# She's responsible for the crab paste smell
I'm responsible for the rat wee smell.
(I helped save b3ta! Spazzcat jam out with your clam out, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:29, archived)
# well, not you hopefully
;)
(I helped save b3ta! Bazmonkey baws!, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:38, archived)
# My RATS are responsible for the rat wee smell.
(I helped save b3ta! Spazzcat jam out with your clam out, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:50, archived)
# Rats don't smell
Compared to mice. I'll have have a mouse again ever. Rats are the way forward.
(engekomkommer, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:36, archived)
# Oh totally
They're bigger therefore easier to handle, less wriggly, more likely to just snuggle in your jumper sleeve and go walkabout with you, and are SO much more intelligent. Like little dogs.

My first rat used to go literally everywhere with me, he claimed a little wicker basket with flaps as his own and from that day forth he basically lived in it. I took him to Morrisons, to the library, to the hairdressers....

(I helped save b3ta! Spazzcat jam out with your clam out, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:41, archived)
# Ah, true. Hmm, shit.
I'll have to think carefully about this.
(Dooley, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:08, archived)
# You aren't a child, surely, being over the age of consent?
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:13, archived)
# But it is my Johnson!
(Dooley, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:14, archived)
# True
and you couldn't sign a model release as you're under 18...

tricky one this.
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:18, archived)
# Doesn't work like that
You have to be over 18 to show your private parts legally. That's why you have to be 18 to do porn.

The legal age for topless shots however is only 16.

Plus - you can have actual sex at 16 but you can't buy videos of other people doing it until you're 18.

So what we have here is a photograph of an underage boy's penis.

(I helped save b3ta! Spazzcat jam out with your clam out, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:17, archived)
# ...disguised as a Mario
(Pavlov'sDog is all out of pavlova, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:20, archived)
# however there is a special exemption
if you have dressed your privates as Mario or any other Nintento character.
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:21, archived)
# I was groomed into it
by "Ratty" from "Woking" who sent the picture in.
Haha, Ratty downloaded CP.
(Dooley, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:22, archived)
# HUZZAH!!
(I helped save b3ta! M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:08, archived)
# ah
but b3ta isn't fully responsible for putting the image up...
(I helped save b3ta! McBadger COW, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:10, archived)
# They did FP it...
(Dooley, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:12, archived)
# true
probably best to find out for sure, be safe and all that
(I helped save b3ta! McBadger COW, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:13, archived)
# You're going to ruin this for all of us aren't you?
"I remember the day that b3ta came crashing down, it started with a young man called Dooley..."

*begins memoirs*
(I helped save b3ta! Lazlo Woodbine Panowie!, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:15, archived)
# Nah...
I s'pose I just can't play the 'child porn' card.

But should b3ta come crashing down... EVERYONE OVER TO 4CHAN!
(Dooley, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:16, archived)
# I would rather die, sir.
*straightens lapels*
(I helped save b3ta! Dimrill HMS Average Nostril, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:19, archived)
# hahahahaha
that'll teach you to plumb with your cock :D
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:17, archived)
# Hahaha



(I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:25, archived)
# have a belated
meh.
(I helped save b3ta! the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:27, archived)
# The best advice would be
go to a free advice bureau.
I, as a law student, can state this with utter certainty: You should seek free legal advice.
(Slurpy The Frog, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 18:37, archived)
# Hmmm
Tricky one. I think perhaps consult citizens advice, then send a strongly worded letter.

Although first of all I think you need to be clear exactly what you want from them. An apology? Compensation? Recognition?
(I helped save b3ta! The Glum Reaper cannot solve your problem because he has no jam, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 19:15, archived)
# Tell them it's kiddie porn.
Then explain why it's kiddie porn.

Then watch them shit themselves.

Then post any replies you get from them.
(I helped save b3ta! The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 24 Jul 2007, 19:28, archived)
# And copy The Sun
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 19:52, archived)
# some bits for you
Fact #1: They cruise b3ta for their pics

Fact #2: Your nob shot was not only a front-pager, there was a running gag about it being a front-pager for days.

Fact #3: If they didn't ask, it's because they didn't care or because *they* are nobs.

You made that image and you can prove it, yes? They used it without making a reasonable effort to identify you or locate you.
Send them an invoice.

/advice

Contact details in profile if you need them.
(I helped save b3ta! Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 21:17, archived)