b3ta.com board
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Messageboard » Ronseal Plots » Message 8418718

[challenge entry] The truth

From the Ronseal Plots challenge. See all 737 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 29 May 2008, 14:57, archived)
# i think this is probably the best so far
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Thu 29 May 2008, 14:57, archived)
# Enchanted?
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Thu 29 May 2008, 14:58, archived)
# No, clearly,
it's the third in a trilogy of Bible posts.
(I helped save b3ta! Thinker, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:00, archived)
# Ah
But it's not a warm, pretty, story. There's sacrifices, the obliteration of mankind by flood (except for 8 people and a funk load of animals), infanticide, betrayal, adultery, humans doing everything asked of them and used as playthings by a bored God and fallen angel and other shite I can't be bothered to list.
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:03, archived)
# But, if you were a God,
or even a priest in the early-mid 2nd Millennium, that's the kind of story that would have made you reach for the joytissues.
(I helped save b3ta! Thinker, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:13, archived)
# does it come with tissues?
:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 29 May 2008, 14:58, archived)
# no
that's a warm, horny story
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 May 2008, 14:59, archived)
# oh, you....
;-)
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:00, archived)
# heheh
there's nothing wrong with a bit of horn ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:01, archived)
# ;)
a bit of 24/7
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:03, archived)
# hmmm
i don't want to dislocate my hip again!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:04, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:01, archived)
# warm, moist and slightly sticky
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:02, archived)
# filled with regret and shame
and hoping the breakfast is worth it

:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:04, archived)
# if it's a full english with black pudding and no beans
it's ALWAYS worth it!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:05, archived)
# *ponders a "black pudding and 2 beans" type of joke*
:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:06, archived)
# a perfect full english should consist of:
3 sausages
3 bacon
2 eggs, sunny side up
2 slices ulster fry
3 slices black pudding
portion of tinned plum tomatoes, NOT diced or half a fresh one
large portion fried mushrooms
1 slice fried bread, cut into 2 triangles
2 slices buttery toast
tomato sauce
mug NOT cup of tea.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:19, archived)
# I need beans
and no black pudding

I don't do that crazy jazz, man

and I'm not fond of fried mushrooms

:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:24, archived)
# i'm hungry now
you bastard
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:29, archived)
# Do you really pay attention to the story in porn, though?
(emcake putting a donk on it since, Thu 29 May 2008, 14:59, archived)
# well, lets face it
it's all about the techinical use of tools

and there's no way he's going to fix her leaky outlet with an inadequate plunger
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:00, archived)
# we had a man come round to fix our washing machine today
The temptation to shout 'bow chicka wow-wow' was amazing.
(emcake putting a donk on it since, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:02, archived)
# hahaha
:D

he probably gets it all the time, arf arf

(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:03, archived)
# hahaha
I have a credit system of romantic comedies vs horror/sci-fi films going with my missus, my god I've had to sit through some rubbish..
(I helped save b3ta! Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Thu 29 May 2008, 14:59, archived)
# has she forced you to sit through bridget jones?
if so, i feel your pain.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:00, archived)
# Love Actually
was my one, she made me sit through it even though I was literally in tears of suffering.
(I helped save b3ta! Brandy_Bumwinkle, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:01, archived)
# my ex used to bring shit like that for me to watch
i'm sure he has a large quantity of gay in him. i'd much rather watch dog soldiers.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:03, archived)
# "I hope I give you the shits you fucking wimp!"
:OD
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:07, archived)
# eeeeeeeeee!!!
i fucking love spoon!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:10, archived)
# Your ex actively wanted to watch Bridget Jones?
That is teh gay :[
(I helped save b3ta! Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:09, archived)
# aaaarhg god
I had to sit through Love Actually, it sucked the sweat off a dead mans balls..

I've avoided Bridget Jones so far, but it's only a matter of time.. If it comes to that, then she's watching Planet Terror :D
(I helped save b3ta! Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:05, archived)
# i want a copy of bridget jones
and a hammer.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:09, archived)
# Interestingly enough
The decision to go see soppy rom-coms is usually a decision made by both partners, not the stereotype of the woman picking a rom-bom and the man picking explosions.

Personally I don't think there's anything wrong with a good love story, as long as there's explosions too.
(emcake putting a donk on it since, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:01, archived)
# Me and mine have an understanding
I don't watch Dirty Dancing... she doesn't watch Cannibal Holocaust
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:03, archived)
# hahaha
you should have a double-bill night..

WTF is it with Dirty Dancing, why do virtually all women love that piece of shit film?
(I helped save b3ta! Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:07, archived)
# Winning Post
that's what that is.

*clicks*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 29 May 2008, 14:59, archived)
# Is this a third Bible post?
(I helped save b3ta! setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:00, archived)
# Woo, my first mindpiss!
:)
(I helped save b3ta! Thinker, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:01, archived)
# clever
(emcake putting a donk on it since, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:03, archived)
# This can have a click
(and I'm being very particular about giving them out today).
(I helped save b3ta! LeightonJimbo has remembered his password!, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:02, archived)
[challenge entry] Happy talking talking, happy talk
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:02, archived)
# Sir, you are a genius.
*shakes hand firmly*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:04, archived)
# Thank you kindly
and thank you for having the patience to sit through it
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:08, archived)
# You did a degree in Meeja Studies
AICMFP
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:04, archived)