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This is a question Drunk Parents

Watching the old man swing home from the pub and start arguing with Newsnight can be either funny, slightly unnerving or just plain terrifying. Tell us about daft things parents have done while they've been in their cups.

Suggested by NotDavidBailey, voted for by YOU

(, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 17:58)
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Come on B3ta!
We need another subject to write about and upset /talk!
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 13:39, 76 replies)
Just use the ignore button
to get away from the whiny drivel.
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 13:41, closed)
Where's the fun in that?

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 13:43, closed)
You'll look less of a dick with your whiney complaints

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:20, closed)
You could look less like a dick
By dressing up as a dick, and wandering around the major capital cities of the world, crying "I'M A DICK! I'M A DICK" through a loudhailer.
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 15:14, closed)
I dunno, the ignore button's done me grand lately
I wonder if it's possible to ignore everyone, and what b3ta might look like if you did?
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:29, closed)
There's a limit but I can't remember how many it is.
Certainly a lot less than eighty odd thousand.
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:34, closed)
He's got me on ignore, sadtimes :(

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:41, closed)
Depends how many of those 80-odd thousand actually post though
Looking at the stats board, You could probably ignore most of /board with, say 100 ignores
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:45, closed)
But then how would you see anyone's answers?

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 15:14, closed)
Cheers!

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 13:43, closed)
Ha ha
You crack me up Shambo.
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 13:46, closed)
It's cruel sarcasm like this that is ruining the internet.
You ruiner.
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 13:47, closed)
making your way on the boards today takes everything you've got
getting away from all these /talkers sure would help a lot
wouldn't you like to get away?
sometimes you want to go
where everybody knows your name
and they never ever flame
you need to go where you can know
the posters are all the same
you need to go where everybody rates your game

cheers
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 13:46, closed)
You are Phoebe Buffet
AICMFP
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 13:47, closed)
very good second time as well.
are you going to post this as a reply to all posts?

i think you should.

cheers.
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 13:48, closed)
i'm going to post it everywhere, all the time.
and make it my sig. and cry and run off if anyone says anything nasty about it.

cheers.
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 13:50, closed)
It's good to see you're staying on the moral high ground.

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:00, closed)
Is there an easy way to spot who's /talk and who isn't?


Edit: I mean do QOTW-ers wear a blue hanky and /talk wear a red one?
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 13:48, closed)
Yes.
Yes there is.
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 13:51, closed)
Shifty eyes and a faint smell of wee.

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 13:51, closed)
hey!
i haven't got shifty eyes!
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 13:54, closed)
/qotw are different
we smell of aftershave (that we've been drinking) and shower gel.

Except for the sweaties, who small of stale spunk.

And the liars, who have BO and never get out much.
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 13:57, closed)
I must have Scottish Ancestry...
As I smell of all those things
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:25, closed)
Is it their own spunk?

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:25, closed)
Unfortunately not in my case...

I can't seem to walk by a field without having various livestock lob their meaty spoffs at me.
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:28, closed)
The lobbing of meaty spoff is a proud - if arcane - countryside tradition.

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:32, closed)
Hello there, grand to see you.
Even if you do small of sheep jizz
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:46, closed)
yes.
/talkers have little red laser eyes and big stabby knives. are you suggesting some sort of identifcation programme? like, we could all have a different colour star, or something? because, as i recall, that didn't end too well the last time someone tried it.
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 13:52, closed)
Oh I don't know.
I think some of it was rather fun. Some of the uniforms were cracking.
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 13:55, closed)
Hugo Boss designer clobber
and excellent motors.

and lots of flags, so, not all bad.

John Galliano doesn't think so, anyway.
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 13:58, closed)
And he's a leading designer, so he knows what he's talking about.

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:05, closed)
This was actually tried?
What happened, were handbags and flouncing involved?
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:03, closed)
the holocaust ensued

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:08, closed)
officelol.

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:09, closed)
Probably the uniforms.
Cool black ones, versus pyjamas.
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:10, closed)
yes.
every time i see someone in pyjamas i want to gas them, too. It's a natural reaction.

If I was in a cool uniform, I'd not be able to hold back...

Seriously, pyjamas caused the holocaust!?!?
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:24, closed)
hello? daily mail?
have i got a story for YOU....
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:28, closed)
you'd probably get a two page feature and a photo out of this one.

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:47, closed)
Only striped ones.
Paisley ones caused love and kisses.
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:29, closed)
yes.
churchill called hitler a whiny attention seeker and hitler flounced.
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:10, closed)
closely followed out of the room by Mussolini and the Japanese
all mincing, and all vowing never to speak to Churchill again.
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:20, closed)
Historical fact.
As evinced in Hitler's work "You are SO not going to believe what that bastard said to me!"
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:30, closed)
Where was Stalin when this was happening?

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:33, closed)
Wanking and crying.

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:34, closed)
The fucking nonce.

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:38, closed)

Just for the record there is an official term for the crying wank - the crank.
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 15:14, closed)
Why yes, yes there is.
The QOTW-ers typically have a stylish hanky.
The /talk folks have one with 3 vertical stripes, typically blue on the left, white down the center, and red on the right.

Cheers
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:06, closed)
Cheers

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:24, closed)
Cheers.

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:28, closed)
As long as none of the hankys are spanky

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:30, closed)
fuck off

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:53, closed)
The people from /talk
have a post count in their profiles.
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:19, closed)
I prefer the hanky option

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:24, closed)
Everything upsets /talk
Fuck me, if I was a /talktard I'd be upset too
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:32, closed)
Cheers.

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:36, closed)
cheers.

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 14:48, closed)
Cheers.

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 15:06, closed)
Stop saying cheers you shower of cunts.

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 15:15, closed)
Cheers
Ha - beat you to it. I win the entire internet.

Edit - jayzuz you're quick off the mark
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 15:16, closed)
Oh come on
it's taken them years to come up with something as witty as "cheers"
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 15:32, closed)
Cheers.

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 15:15, closed)

Aha - I see you seem to be a Talk bod and a QOTW bod, perhaps you can explain how we can all live in harmony? And also solve the middle east crisis? Thanks.
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 15:18, closed)
What the fuck did you just call me?

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 15:20, closed)

I believe I may have implied that you were open minded...
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 15:21, closed)
Did you just call me a qftw bod?
356 posts over knocking on 6 years does not make me a qftw bod. Get right to fuck.

Cheers.
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 15:23, closed)
45k posts on /talk would suggest you're from there
especially as you rarely post a relevant story on qotw... Maybe you should post here more regularly and raise the level of discourse...
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 15:25, closed)
The thing is, I rarely post stories because I rarely have any that are interesting and relevant to the question.
People could learn from me, you know.
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 15:34, closed)
You are totally a qftw bod.
You're like their favourite bezzy mate and they kiss you and everything.

edit: cheers
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 15:26, closed)
he's 2nd favourite
after all, no-one has set up a fan sockpuppet account for him, have they?
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 15:28, closed)
He called you a nonce.
What are you gonna do about it?
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 15:23, closed)
I don't think he did, you know.

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 15:24, closed)
I must have misread it.
Silly me.
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 15:26, closed)

No accusations of noncery for now. You seem to be intent on causing MASSIVE OUTRAGE which no doubt helps you get your cheap kicks. It's probably better for your health than sniffing glue, but you can come across as a bit of a honey-monster-molesting-loltastic-highly-perplexing-mega-spastic.
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 15:28, closed)
shut up
you nonce.
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 15:29, closed)

On reflection that's probably a good option - thanks for the tip.
(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 15:31, closed)
cheers.

(, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 15:32, closed)

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