Have A Pea..
At the ripe old age of forty-(cough) Now fifty-(cough) I'm in the middle of my first divorce and have to start all over again after seeing everything I owned given to a fat slapper who's never worked a full day in her life.

Then again, I've the rest of my life ahead of me without been dragged down by a fat snobby cow who shags anything that moves (and anything too drunk to move)

As I'm now living on my own I had to fill a council tax rebate form in (you get a %25 reduction for living on your own). In the section where you had to put:
Reason for living by yourself... I put:

Wife couldn't keep her knickers up.

I've heard that this form is now pinned on the notice board at the local council offices - sadly with the names of the guilty party tipexed out. - Sweet.

As I'm writing this I suppose I may as well confess the reason why we split. I found out she was shagging a copper. Not someone from homicide, not someone from fraud, not someone from serious crime division - not even a humble copper on the beat. It was a traffic cop....


The shame................


Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 14:01, 12 replies)

now you can recognise them you'll know how to avoid them in the future

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 14:09, closed)

Traffic cops?

(sabre-tooth monkey, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 14:20, closed)

zepplins

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 14:50, closed)

I understand that the best way to score yourself sluts in Australia is OK Cupid, if that helps.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 14:13, closed)

Actually
B3ta worked for me. That's where I met Mrs Legless.
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 14:24, closed)

Christ
I dread to imagine the size of her
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 14:25, closed)

STOP GAZZING POPPET

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 15:09, closed)

Still
at least the weather's nice
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 14:15, closed)

Have you got a pool?

(Elephant Balderdash attempting to bottle the absurd, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 14:19, closed)

No
But I do have a spa. An original jacuzzi. A few weeks ago I spent 3 fucking hours trying to figure out how the bastard worked. Couldn't find any way to get water into the bloody thing.

Eventually, I used the 'net to find a fucking manual. Turned out you have to fill the fucker up with a hose....

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 14:31, closed)

I bet he has massive prawns.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 14:51, closed)

you're fifty! the scales fall from my eyes.

(magictorch, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 15:14, closed)