best song intro ever?
i love "Am I Evil" by Diamond Head also "The Riverbed" by Gallows.

alt: I have been invited to 10 weddings this year. Are you goimng to any? Do you want to go? Do you wear a morning coat or a lounge suit like pleb?

Altalt: if you see monty on a bike, will you run him over for the "lols"?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 14:01, 135 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Rant
1) Gemma was only a year older, a 16 year old and a 15 year old is not the same as sexual assault on an adult and child, implying anything else is a disservice to victims of that.
2) I *think* The fraud she was convicted of was for claiming compensation falsely. And if it wasn't, how many people have lied to get someone into bed? They didn't even "Sexual Contact" (on the Jeremy Kyle scale).
3) This Jessica person is all over the TV and gossip papers, gaining much attention and money.
4) The papers are portraying an autistic teenager with transgender/sexual-identity issues, as a sexual predator and fraudster.

I'm not saying pretending to be someone else is right, but it's hardly worth vilifying someone on the front page of national papers. LGBT campaigners must be gutted about how this is being treated by the media.

www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4176927/Boy-girl-groper-ruined-my-life.html
www.mirror.co.uk/news/real-life-stories/agony-of-teen-victims-of-gemma-barker-752654
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2110430/Gemma-Barker-jailed-Vctims-girl-dressed-boy-date-speak-anguish.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

alt: Anything enraged you lately?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 11:22, 162 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

One dull thread deserves another.
My lavatory wall at home is an external one and I've a frightful condensation/mould problem. What can I do to counter this, please, you cunts? I have tried deleting my account and killing myself, but to no avail.

Alt: Picture yourself in a boat on a river, with tangerine trees and marmalade skies. Got that? Good. Now picture me, doing your mum, up the arse. In front of the rest of your family. On Christmas Day. You want to join in, don’t you? You disgusting cunt.

Alt alt: Certain words make me sick with rage, such as 'serviette'. Am I alone in this stupidity?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 10:43, 81 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Shitty private schools
My missus works at a private school where it cost something like £15,000 per year for a child to attend.

Last week the colour copier in the infants was disabled by management because "they are making too many colour copies". This is shitty because the little kids don't use textbooks so the teachers need to make them handouts etc. and when you're learning about the basics (see Spot's ball - the ball is red!), then colour really helps.

The thing I don't get is that the management is basically saying that they're spending too much money on their pupil's education, which is kind of the point of a school. If I was a hard-nosed businessman it makes perfect sense: there are too few schools compared to the number of applicants they get each year so they can abuse their position as much as they like.

As far as I can tell, the parents know nothing.

Is it like this in other private schools? And how best to get a message out to the parents anonymously?

Alt Q: I'm reading the "Red Mars" series right now and loving it, what else would I like?

EDIT: This isn't the first time they've implemented some new rule which makes teaching the kids harder and just makes them more money.
(Shippy likes linebreaks and doesn't care what you think, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 9:13, 111 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Happy Wednesday you fuckers!
I'm back in Sydney, the tropical storm around southern Queensland didn't prevent us getting home. We had BBQ prawns and Snapper for tea last night.

We have a BBQ every summer for all our friends. I often make a Bacon Explosion, but this year I'm not going to as I never get to eat them. Instead I will wait until I'm having a small BBQ for a limited number of people. When did you last have a BBQ and how much fun was it?

This place looks like it's been pretty rubbish for the last two and a half weeks while me and Chompy have been away. Are you looking forward to me getting back next week?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 7:03, 122 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

What's with all the post deletion?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 22:58, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

evening!
So what's up with Tuesday night? Why will Wednesday not be the worst day of the week? How much wine have you drunk (ever)? Why are you socks just so... you know?

This and other questions are things you could answer or talk about on (bombom booooooooooooooooom) OT
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 18:22, 207 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

the pressure of having to think of a new thread
it's like being asked "what shall we talk about?" so, what's the worst conversation killer you can think of?

alt: most patronising thing anyone has ever said to/near you (dear)?

alt alt: something nice, something nice... er........ chocolate. with caramel, with nuts, with fruit, with alcohol or au naturel? and what about colour, are you a chocolate racist? personally i'm a white supremacist with a caramel fetish.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 15:41, 189 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Three
That's the magic number, according to De La Soul. It is for me today as I have managed 3 nights in a row of good sleep. I literally cannot recall the last time this happened.

Why are you feeling good today?

Alt:
What is your major malfunction?

Alt alt:
LUNCH
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 12:42, 226 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Proof
The North is full of povvos, bad luck chaps: www.guardian.co.uk/news/datablog/interactive/2012/mar/06/poverty-map-england-experian

alt: Mansion tax, that's a shit idea isn't it?

altalt: elevensies?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 10:58, 108 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I've been sick twice in the early hours of this morning
The question is do I phone in sick? (I don't start until 3pm)

If I don't go in then I lose a days pay, however there is the issue that I've vommed twice already.

Alt: morning, I'm going to sleep and will decided this dilemma later. Invent your own alt: topic, I'm ill ffs!
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 6:43, 142 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

good experiences with gumtree/craigslist
So I emailed every random stranger about the spare room to rent. Does anyone have any past experiences with similar websites so I know what I'm up against.

alt q: Bugger, I've opened a wormhole to the crazy dimension haven't I?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 19:44, 152 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Crikey!
Just as I was approaching my junction off the M6, I saw a little blue car veer sharply out of the fast lane across traffic. My first reaction was they'd almost missed the junction and were going for it dangerously. Then I saw them plough into the wall along the hard shoulder, two cars in front of me.

Last accident you saw?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 17:35, 17 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Sorry to threadstomp, but this is too good to miss
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2110430/Girl-19-tricked-female-friends-sexual-relationships-dressing-BOY-jailed-half-years.html

Go on, I'm sure you lot will have a field day with this one.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:11, 86 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

UPS are shit, their tracking site says parcel to be delivered by7pm today.
Just had a phone call saying it's still in the main depot. Wankers. When were you last let down by anyone?

alt: Alright?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 14:43, 9 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

who is the 2nd worst poster on B3ta and why don't you like them?
alt who in the world do you hate so much you could tear your own teeth out, fashion them into a mace of some sort and beat them to death with?

alt alt fucking shit, bent, quender etc

EDIT ALL OF YOU STOP WHAT THE FUCK YOUR DOING AND ARGUE WITH ME DAMMIT
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 12:25, 186 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

IT'S MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY.
We're going on a pub crawl at three but I've only had a couple hours sleep after waking up far too early so I'm terrified I'll spend the rest of day asleep on the sofa.

What was your worst birthday?
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 10:46, 81 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Hey there my nizzle dizzles
I'm surprised nobody has started a new thread yet. I went for a long walk in the rain today.

When did you last do something in the rain?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 7:15, 93 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Evening quenders
Have you had a roast? I had a steak. Are you a starter or a pudding type?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 16:14, 154 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Morning Wankers!!
How are you on this damp Sunday morning?

I'm going to the gym when my hangover clears. Aside from that, I've got no plans for today.

What does the latter part of the weekend hold in store for you?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 4 Mar 2012, 9:16, 190 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Saturday night shut in party!
What's going on, /OT?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 3 Mar 2012, 19:11, 136 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I've been contacted by a recruitment agency
for a bank job in London (database development, not safecracking). £65000pa and it sounds like I could do it. It would mean moving to London, though.

Would you?

Alt: What city wouldn't you live in?

Edit: I'm watching The Matrix, what film should I be watching?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 3 Mar 2012, 2:34, 84 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

friday night puntastic youtube disco
theme: metals

Iron Maiden
www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7ToNJHgp-w

Goldie Looking Chain
www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vX4ETlCr4A

Been caught stealing/steeling
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrwjiO1MCVs&ob=av2n


GO GO GO GO GO GO GO!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 19:33, 74 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

What are you scared of?
alt: what's up tonight?

altalt: red, white or beer?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 15:38, 101 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Sexuality and the Equal Opportunities Form
Seems to be petering out down below, so let's have a fresh question.

Filling in an application form the other day, I was told I also had to complete an equal opportunities form. They wanted to know my sex, my nationality, my religion (or lack thereof), whether I had any disabilities, and my sexuality. And I had to say I was surprised: alongside the expected categories
Heterosexual
Homosexual
Bisexual
Prefer not to say
They had a box for "Other: please specify"

What the hell could "other" be? I had a chat with the missus about this, and she told me that some people prefer to call themselves "pansexual", "demisexual", "omnisexual" or "asexual," and other daft alternatives.

Q: What the fuck do those even mean?
AltQ: Who the fuck came up with them?
AltAltQ: Make your own up.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:30, 112 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

it's deader than a dead thing shoved up a dead cat's arse on here (or what quentin calls "sunday afternoon sport") again
what's the best sound in the world?

alt: i am going to see that "marigold" hotel film tonight. best of british comedy or patronising wank for the silver surfers?

alt alt: if you were me, and apart from about four shots of vodka you had not had an alcoholic drink since new year, what would you drink first at the bristol bash?

alt alt alt: lunch.....?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:47, 107 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

BLUBBER.
Are you a crybaby? Do certain things set you off squinnying like a big wet girl*?

Or are you a toughguy?

*After several days of taking E's I once found myself blubbing at 'Five Children and It'. I don't take E's any more.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:11, 162 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Woohoo!
What does the weekend hold in store?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 7:57, 246 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Help I need a flatmate
Anyone interested in a flat in Leeds?

alt q: Favourite crisp flavour/brand
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 18:56, 25 replies, latest was 12 years ago)